Authors: Michelle Rowen
Tags: #teen, #young adult, #love, #vampires, #horror, #vampire, #paranormal, #romance, #fantasy, #friendship, #michelle rowan, #michelle rowen
“What?” He grinned. “Kitten has claws. Good, because tonight you’re going to need them.” He looked at Ethan. “You know the plan. It holds.”
“Right.”
“What plan?” Again I was feeling out of the loop and we’d only just begun the next round.
Ethan met my gaze, which seemed as if it took him some effort. “I’m convinced the queen is using the shell of Ms. Carlson so she can keep an eye on you.”
I gasped. “Our English teacher? The one who’s madly in love with William Shakespeare?”
He nodded. “She’s spent too much time staring off in the distance in class the last few days. And she talks to you a lot. More than a teacher should. It’s like she’s testing you, assessing you.”
“She’s a teacher. That’s what teachers do.”
He looked uncomfortable, but determined. “We...well, it’s almost impossible for us to sense each other once we’re in a new shell. But the signs are there. Pale skin that looks healthy and tanned again after a feeding. An intensity. A feel. It’s her, I know it is. I would have given her some sort of signal to let her know that I’m...well, that I was there. But I didn’t want her to know who I am.”
“Signals? Like what, a special handshake?”
“No. We have words we use. Phrases.”
“It’s like some sort of secret society.”
“Yes, it is.”
I thought about that. “The Upyr two days ago...he rambled about shadows and day and night. Was that the signal to have you say something specific back to him?”
He gave me a reluctant nod.
I took a deep breath. “Is that how you found Frank?”
“Frank’s been the same since the last time,” Ethan said. “Looks the same. I managed to find him quickly.”
“You’ve been here for a hundred years?”
“No. I left right after what happened last time—left everybody since it was better that way, for them. For me. They thought Frank Margolis was dead. But I came back a decade ago as Frank Kaplan.”
“What about the queen? Has she found you too, Frank?”
“If she has, she hasn’t bothered to make contact.” Frank slid his index finger around the rim of one of the many empty glasses in front of him. “Knows I’m a dead end, anyway. After what happened last time, she’s probably trying to avoid me while I’m in this body.”
I waited for more details. “You mean, because Frank’s the one who trapped her?”
Frank flicked a glance at Ethan. “How much do you want to share with your little girlfriend here?”
“Everything.”
“Generous.”
“She needs to know because of what she is.”
“Alrighty.” Frank finally stood up from his stool and without another word he headed toward the booth we’d used the last time, beckoning for us to join him there.
I sat across from the two of them, nervous about being there. Nervous about everything that I’d had to process in the last hour, last day, last
week
, but I was doing my best not to fall apart. Falling apart could wait till later.
“So talk,” I prompted when neither spoke.
“You died when you were just a kid, right?” Frank asked.
I nodded. “A truck hit me. The paramedics revived me. They said I was lucky.”
“You were officially dead for a few minutes.”
“Give or take.”
“A few seconds, wouldn’t matter. A few minutes, that’s a whole different thing. Those minutes, they changed you. Made it so you can control certain things—dead things. Most revenants never realize they have this ability. They feel normal, just with a story to tell about them almost dying once. When people say they die and see the light at the end of the tunnel—it’s not a destination. It’s a
thing
. That light is what goes into you to make you revenant.”
I shook my head. “I have some sort of light in me?”
“That’s right.”
“What is the light?”
“Death.”
My eyes snapped to his. “I have
death
inside of me.”
“Yep. It arrived, but it wasn’t successful in taking you away. So some of it stuck around.”
“And it’s a light.” I repressed a nervous laugh, feeling slightly hysterical now. “I would have expected darkness.”
“Nope. It’s definitely sparkly.”
I exhaled shakily. “So what happens with this deathlight? How can I use it to kill—or trap—these Upyri?”
“Upyri are sensitive to the abilities of a revenant because in their bodiless state they are wraiths—incorporeal creatures of death. They can only truly be alive if something else dies first. It’s the main human source of life—blood—that helps keep that death energy at a distance so they can continue living and breathing.”
I nodded to indicate I was still listening, trying hard to understand, but I couldn’t find my voice to speak anymore.
“I was...or rather”—he frowned—”Frank
Margolis
was revenant. He knew it, too. He’d been trained to deal with Upyri both in corporeal and wraith form. Just as we have our secret society, as you called it, so do humans.”
“Hunters.” I thought about what Bree said about her family, a long line of hunters since Frank who’d recently not had anything to hunt.
“Of a sort.” His gaze moved to a couple men who entered the dimly lit bar and moved toward the pool table in the back. “Humans who know about Upyr saw us as a threat to their continuing survival. And a few of those humans knew of one thing that can make an Upyr mortal.”
“What?”
Frank grimaced. “Once an Upyr takes over a revenant shell, they’re more powerful, stronger than ever before, and they have the ability to live forever—but if they’re killed in that body, that’s it. There’s no going back and finding another one.”
“So if somebody kills
you
...” I began.
Frank nodded. “No repeat performance. I’m gone for good.”
“Luckily alcohol poisoning isn’t enough to do it,” Ethan said dryly.
Frank snorted. “Screw you, kid. It’s been a long wait for you all to return.”
“All that history.” I frowned. “You have so much in your heads. What you used to be, the lives you lived. How do you separate that from who you are now?”
Ethan looked down at his hands clasped together on top of the table. “It’s not like that. I’m here, now. Like I said, I
am
Ethan Cole—nobody else. Anything that happened before for me is blurred while these new memories are crystal clear.”
Frank nodded. “The booze helps.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
I twisted my finger around the long chain of my locket as I sorted through everything they’d just told me. “You’re saying that this queen wants my shell so she becomes super strong and more powerful than she already is, and she’ll also stay the same age as I am now indefinitely. But if she’s in my body, then that would make her vulnerable to a permanent death.”
“That’s right,” Ethan said. “That’s the only downside for her.”
“Did you think of letting her—” My mouth felt dry and my heart picked up its pace as a thought occurred to me. “Wait a minute. That was your plan, wasn’t it? Letting her take over my body and then killing me.”
“
My
plan,” Frank said. “Yeah, that was originally it. But Ethan here decided to go with Plan B instead.”
I looked at Ethan but he didn’t meet my gaze.
“Ethan Cole.” Frank mouthed the name as if it tasted bad. “Good looking kid, bashful as all hell, and complicated as they come on the inside. Threw a monkey wrench into the plan because he chose to save the girl instead of sacrificing her for the greater good. And here we are.”
Ethan looked embarrassed by Frank’s tirade. “She can’t have you. I won’t let her. We’re going to the dance tonight. We’re going to find Ms. Carlson. If I’m right about her, we’ll release her wraith from that body and you’ll help trap it.”
“
I’m
supposed to trap it.”
“Yes.”
“And this is happening
tonight.
Were you going to tell me the truth about everything or keep stringing me along, trying to make me believe you two were just a couple of mismatched vampire hunters?”
Ethan’s jaw looked tense. “If it were up to me, you never would have found out the truth.”
Frank eyed him. “Ashamed?”
“I know how it looks to someone who doesn’t understand.”
I tried to breathe normally. “And this is the night you think the queen wants to free the others. All because they were trapped exactly one hundred years ago.”
Frank nodded. “You got it, kid. This night has magic in it.”
“Then why hasn’t she taken my shell before this?”
“Just because she managed to squeak out a little early doesn’t mean she had all her strength back. She had to wait, bide her time. Until tonight. Now all bets are off and she’ll be coming for you...personally.”
The other Upyri were trying to gain favor with a queen whom they might not have even made contact with yet. Trying to earn brownie points by grabbing me and holding me somewhere, alive or dead, for her to come get me when the time was right.
But if she was really using Ms. Carlson’s shell, she would have been able to keep an eye on me every day at school.
Waiting. Watching. Until her strength increased and the time was right.
“We need to stop her,” I said firmly. “You just need to tell me how exactly I’m supposed to do that.”
Frank grinned. “That’s the spirit! I think this calls for another round.” He motioned toward the bartender.
“No more drinking,” Ethan said. “Your head needs to be clear tonight.”
“As clear as yours is, Romeo?”
Ethan gave him a look sharp enough to wound.
I realized I was clutching the side of the table because my knuckles were now white. “Tell me how to trap an Upyri wraith.”
“That deathlight inside of you.” Frank directed his attention fully to me. “It works like sticky flypaper. It’ll pull them toward whatever vessel you’ve chosen to contain them—it has to be something silver. Then we bury the vessel somewhere deep where it can’t be found again.”
I knew Ms. Carlson had mentioned in passing yesterday that she’d see us all at the dance. She was going to be one of the chaperones.
Ms. Carlson was an Upyri queen who’d been laying in wait for tonight, a night of power for her and the rest of the trapped wraiths.
“I don’t get it,” I said after a moment. “You’re just like her. Why are you trying to stop her? I would think you’d be trying to help her.”
“Wrong,” Frank said firmly.
I looked into his pale, watery eyes. “Ethan said something about a code. You have a code, too?”
“I try.”
“But you took a shell—a revenant one. Was that an accident?”
He scratched his beard and eyed his empty glass wistfully. “No. It wasn’t an accident. I took this shell knowing exactly what I was doing. I wanted to be powerful, strong, to stand by the side of my queen in our new shells for all eternity. When Frank was killed, I immediately took my opportunity thinking it would go differently than it did...thought I’d be able to control it.”
“Control what?”
“The echoes,” Ethan said. “They’re just as strong for Frank as they are for me.”
Frank snorted. “Took over the body of a goddamned vampire hunter who believed in everything he did while part of his spirit still remained. He did it all for his family. Loved them like crazy. His wife had been murdered by one of the queen’s minions. That kind of hate eats away at a guy, even a hardass like me. I knew I had to wait it out, knowing the queen would be back in a hundred years. I knew I’d have to do everything I could to stop it so more people wouldn’t be hurt like that.”
I wondered what it would be like to have to deal with someone else’s memories feeling as real to me as my own. What it would have felt like to be Ethan, mocked at that school dance. Or Bree, being blackmailed into never talking to a friend again or else nasty rumors would be spread about her.
Or a mother, returning to a daughter who’d already made peace with the thought she’d never see her again and put her grief far behind her.
“It’s possible I can trap her myself without you putting yourself into further danger,” Frank said. “But I’m not sure this body’s revenant power is still at full after all this time, even if Frank’s spirit is fused with mine.”
“No.” My voice was quiet, but steady and strong. “I want to help. I want to do whatever I can to stop her.”
He nodded. “Then go get ready. I’ll be there lurking in the shadows waiting for the right moment to strike.”
“You’re sure about this?” Ethan asked me.
I nodded. “Is there anything else you haven’t told me about yourself I might need to know?”
He laughed quietly. “You know the basics.”
“And that’s enough?”
“I hope so.” Our eyes met. “I never meant to hurt you or to scare you. It just happened and—well, it spiraled out of my control. Just know that whatever happens tonight, I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you’re okay. Do you believe me?”
“That’s a dangerous question.”
He looked away. “Then forget I asked it. Forget about a lot of the things I’ve said today that don’t help matters one little bit. Just focus on getting rid of the queen. She means harm to your classmates and friends. The only thing that matters now is stopping her.”
He was absolutely right.
I guess I was going to prom after all.
After walking me home, Ethan only came as far as the end of my driveway and he hadn’t made eye contact with me once since we left the McGavin. And conversation? What was that again?
“I’ll be back later,” he said quietly. “I’ll borrow the car. It’s not a limo, but it’s better than nothing.”
I cleared my throat. “When?”
“The dance starts at eight. We’ll pretend we’re attending it like anyone else. Don’t want to attract any attention until we can get Ms. Carlson alone. I’ll be back at quarter to eight to pick you up.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
He didn’t say good-bye, he just walked away and didn’t look back.
I went inside and pressed my back against the door. I was shivering, couldn’t help it. I felt chilled inside and out.
There was no sign of my mother.
At least something was going right.
I forced myself to go up the stairs to my room. I had to get ready for the dance. But first, I had a promise to fulfill.
She answered on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Bree, it’s...it’s Olivia.”
“Oh, well, so nice of you to call. At the end of the day.”
I dropped onto my unmade bed and stared at the ceiling. “I said I’d call today, I just didn’t say when.”
There was a pause. “You sound upset.”
“Do I?” Yeah, I did. My voice was all choked up and shaky. I focused on a framed photo on my wall of my parents and me. I’d hung a scarf strategically over it to block out my mother’s face.
“Tell me what happened,” she said.
It was on the tip of my tongue to resist, to make up some sort of story to push her away. But I didn’t. It all came out in a gush. Everything. Every last messy detail in a diatribe I hadn’t planned. It was as though I had to get it out or I would explode.
It took around five minutes—not long, at all—during which Bree didn’t say a word.
There was a very long silence. For a moment, I thought she’d hung up on me.
“Bree? You still there?”
“I...yeah, I’m still here.”
“Did you hear me?”
There was a longer pause this time. “Holy crap.”
I wasn’t sure what that referred to: the deadly body swap scheduled to happen at the dance tonight, or that Ethan Cole was actually a body-snatching vampire who’d told me he was in love with me.
Or, possibly, the thing about me being a death-magic-using revenant, just like her great-great-grandfather, Frank.
There was a lot for her to digest. For both of us, actually.
“I know it’s hard to believe,” I said. “You probably think I’m crazy, but I’m not making all of this up. It’s true.”
“No, I...wow. Actually, this makes a weird kind of sense. I didn’t think Ethan could kick Peter Klassen’s ass without a little outside influence.”
I rolled over and succeeded in knocking one of my pillows to the floor. “
That’s
what you focus on?”
“I’ve heard it was epic. Dude needed an ass-kicking, in my opinion. Who knew it would come from an Upyr? Ha, if only Peter knew the truth he’d crap his pants!”
I blinked. “You’re taking this extremely well.”
“I already knew something mega was happening. Now I know what it is. And now you’re going to freaking junior prom to track down a power-hungry Upyri queen who thinks you’d make a great designer outfit.”
I cringed. “Pretty much.”
“I’m coming.”
“What?”
“To the dance. I want to be there to help.”
My grip on the phone tightened. “That’s not a good idea. You should stay as far away from this as you can.”
“This Frank dude, we’re related. The time has come to follow in his footsteps and become the hunter I was always meant to be. Besides, from what it sounds like, you don’t feel that safe being around Ethan anymore. Can’t really say I blame you there.”
Was that what it sounded like? “I don’t know how I feel about him.”
“I’ll watch your back. Promise.”
She sounded sincere, really sincere.
“I figured you were busy this weekend,” I said.
“Yeah, busy watching television and wishing something exciting would happen.”
“Well, okay. Fine. We’ll pick you up at ten to eight.”
“I’ll be ready.”
And that was that. Bree Margolis was going to be my sidekick tonight. Funny how the thought of it didn’t make me cringe at all. It calmed me. It would be nice to have someone to depend on whom I’d told the truth to and she didn’t consider me completely crazy.
I got ready for the dance, just as I’d always planned to. Despite my distractions, I managed to do a decent job on my hair and make-up. I slid on the dress in its beautiful shade of indigo, the one I’d purchased and had hanging up in my closet for months in anticipation of tonight. I slipped on my silver heels and then stared at myself in the full length mirror on the back of my bedroom door. I left my locket on the long chain around my neck as jewelry. The familiar weight of it comforted me.
I looked exactly how I’d pictured I’d look tonight. Except for the eyes. Those were worried as hell, despite the painstakingly applied liner and shadow. Nervous. Apprehensive. And haunted.
I went downstairs. Ethan should be pulling up in front of the house any minute. I reached for the door handle.
“Olivia.”
It was said firmly, with command, by someone who very rarely used my full name unless I was in serious trouble.
I glanced over my shoulder at my father. “Yes?”
His arms were crossed over his crisp white shirt, his blue tie loosened at his throat after a long day at work. “Where are you going?”
“Uh—” To stop an Upyri queen from killing half of Ravenridge High School by unleashing bodiless bloodthirsty wraiths on them. “—to prom. It’s tonight. This dress is a little bit fancy for just going to the movies, you know.”
“I don’t need your smart mouth right now, young lady.”
Uh-oh. I recognized that tone. I was in major trouble for something.
And I didn’t have to make too big of a guess on what that something might be.
“Dad—”
“Your mother is very upset with you right now. I thought you were going to change, to be more open to having her back, and to give her a chance to make things up to you.”
“I
am
.” Frustration built inside of me. It didn’t have a long climb.
“Doesn’t look like it from where I’m standing. You’ve been avoiding her all week. She deserves better than this.”
“Does she?” The words came out sharper than I’d meant them to. “Really? Because where I’m standing, she doesn’t.”
“Olivia, you have to stop being so selfish.”
“Selfish?” I felt my cheeks redden. “She doesn’t deserve a second chance, but you don’t care what I think. You’ve given it to her without a single argument.”
“And you have a problem with that?”
“Yeah, I do. To me it...it makes you seem pretty weak.”
A muscle in his cheek twitched. “Forgiveness isn’t weak, Olivia. Putting the past behind us when it doesn’t serve us anymore isn’t weak. Making someone suffer for things they’ve done in the past that they now regret and want to make amends for, doesn’t make you a better person. It makes you petty and vindictive.”
This argument between us had been building for days. Weeks. And now I had to have my say. If I waited any longer, I might not get the chance.
Talking about my mother didn’t make me want to cry anymore, it just made me mad.
“She was gone for a year, Dad.
A year
. She forgot we even existed. And even before she took off with her personal trainer to Hawaii, it was like she’d already decided she wasn’t happy here with either of us. Don’t you remember that? Then, suddenly, she shows up at the door wanting to forget about her shiny new life and for everything to go back to the way it was before. And you just forget about all of that?”
His expression was stony. “You really think I forgot?”
“That’s what it looks like to me.” Now we both stood with our arms crossed. I didn’t need to be an expert in body language to know that wasn’t a very good sign of a calm and open conversation.
“I haven’t forgotten anything. I was every bit as hurt as you were when she left us. I grieved just as much as you did.”
“Then I guess you’re a better person than I am that you’re able to still carry on like nothing’s changed.”
“I want to believe that things can be better. And, yes, I’m willing to do what it takes to help make that happen.”
“I don’t think she regrets what she did—she can say it, but it doesn’t make it true. Sometimes…she gets this look in her eyes, Dad. It’s cold and uncaring, like she’s looking right through me. Do you ever wonder why she came back? Maybe he dumped her. Maybe she had nowhere else to go.”
“That’s not true.”
I let out a long, shuddery breath. “I don’t think I can ever trust her again. Not like before. You just can’t expect me to want to go out and shop and do fun things together like nothing happened. It would feel fake to me and I don’t want to be fake. I don’t want to have to pretend—it’s too hard. Do you understand that?”
His jaw was tight, his brow furrowed. “I do understand, Liv. I do.” He met my eyes and I suddenly noticed how tired he looked. Before I could say anything else, he turned away from me. “Enjoy prom, Liv. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”
That wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. He could have grounded me for being a bitch to my mother, which would have sucked. Then I would have had to scale down the side of the house out of my bedroom window wearing this dress and heels. Not impossible, but hardly something I wanted to attempt tonight.
There was a knock at the door and it made me jump, goose bumps forming on my bare arms. I looked out the peephole and my breath caught.
I opened the door slowly, cautiously.
Ethan wore a black suit, white shirt, black tie. It fit him perfectly, like it had been made for him for some special occasion, maybe a wedding. I’d never seen him all dressed up before.
He looked...really good.
He still needed a haircut, though.
His gaze swept over me, slowly, until he reached my eyes. He looked pained and uncertain and whatever he saw on my face didn’t seem to help much.
“You ready?” he asked.
“I think so.”
I followed him out to the car—a silver Toyota. I wondered if Peter and the others had still taken the limo as planned.
Why wouldn’t they? Life was normal for them. Peter had dumped me and had probably already moved on. He had plenty of girls to choose from, after all.
We weren’t a good match and I’d known it from the beginning. I’d never been crazy in love with him.
Not like with—
My throat thickened and I tried to think about something else.
“We need to pick up Bree,” I said. “She’s coming with us.”
Ethan gave me a quizzical look as he opened the passenger side door so I could get in. “Bree’s coming with us?”
“She knows everything.”
His brows went up. “And how does she know everything?”
“Because I told her everything.”
His jaw clenched as he went to the driver’s side and got in, then began reversing out of my driveway.
“Are you mad?” I asked.
“No.”
“You can always make her forget again.”
“Maybe I will.”
“Would you make me forget everything if you could?”
His grip tightened on the steering wheel. “My mother’s upset. She wanted to know why I didn’t come home last night.”
“She’s not really your mother.”
His attention remained fixed on the road ahead. “It took me an hour to reassure her I was okay and that I’d fallen asleep at a friend’s house. She finally bought it but she’s mad as hell that I didn’t call.”
“I’m sure she is.”
“I didn’t want to mess with her mind and make her forget, but when this is over...I’m leaving. You won’t have to worry about seeing me every day knowing what I am.”
I blinked hard. “What about your mom?”
He glared at me. “Thought you just said she’s not my mother?”
“You know what I mean. Are you just going to disappear without a trace?”
“No. I’ll explain things to her. That I need time to figure things out. I’ll say I’m going to visit my father. I’ll deal with things when I get to that point. It’s only a few months before I turn eighteen. I—” He frowned. “
Ethan
planned to leave then, anyway.”
“Great plan,” I said dryly.
“It’s the best one I have right now.”
“Yeah, running away from home and lying to your mother. Sounds perfect for a super-strong, immortal vampire.”
The sound of his laugh cut through the car, sharp, dry and unpleasant. “Thanks for your opinion. Helpful.”
“What about Frank?”
“He can do whatever he wants.”
“So you wouldn’t be road trip buddies? He could pretend to be your father.”
“I’m sick of pretending. I’m sick of...” He sighed. “Just forget it. Let’s take care of this tonight and then deal with everything else later.”
Sounded like my philosophy. Putting off the inevitable until it couldn’t be put off anymore.
I watched him out of the corner of my eye, trying to figure him out, but it was impossible. I already knew that. He was Ethan, but he was an Upyr. He was immortal, but he was seventeen. I’d known him forever, but I’d only met him a week ago. He was strong, but he was vulnerable. He was a monster, but he’d told me he loved me.
He believed I hated him now.
How I wished the original Ethan had said something to me, given me the chance to get to know the real him underneath the shy exterior. I could have helped him see how amazing he was.
I squeezed my eyes shut. It was too late to think about things like that. The real Ethan was gone.
Besides, it wasn’t even the
real
Ethan I’d been falling for. It was
this
one.
What a laugh.
Falling for.
I’d already fallen.
“You never answered my question earlier,” I said.
“What question?”
“Would you make me forget all of this, forget what you really are, if you could?”
His gaze didn’t waver from the road. “In a heartbeat.”