Echoes of Edinburgh (15 page)

“Now you're talking nonsense,” she said.

“Am I? You give off the strong impression you're perfectly capable, but I'm not sure you even want God Himself beside you. Trust me. I've tried going it alone without Him, and it doesn't work. You
need
Him in your life.”

She gasped. Moving one hand over her mouth, Shelby backed away. “That's not fair.”

Harrison reached for her and held her by both arms with a firm but unyielding hold. “Let Him work in your life, Shelby. If I never see you again, please promise me you'll give up the reins and let Him take over. He's already given you a huge gift with Pops. Look how that's working out. But I want you to find your own
miracle, when you can see what marvelous things He can accomplish in
your
life. But here's the thing.”

He waited until she raised her head and met his eyes once more. His words stung, they hurt more than anything, but still he cared enough to tell her the truth. “Please enlighten me,” she said.

“Trust the Lord to help you find your way home.”

She shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. “I have a home.”

“In Lexington at Harmony Lane.
That's
your true home.” He tapped his fist over his heart. “In here, Shelby.”

“Yes.” The word was barely more than a whisper. “It always has been.”

Moving both hands to her shoulders, he gave them a gentle squeeze. “Then go home for good. Do what you need to do to make it happen. Take the clients who'll go with you and let go of the others. You don't need them. Find new clients in Lexington. People with money who need help figuring out what to do with it are everywhere.”

“Where's
your
home, Harry? Home in your heart?”

Her question apparently stunned him. He paced back and forth a few seconds before turning and coming to stand in front of her again. “I honestly don't know the answer to that question. I don't have all the answers either. Maybe that's what I need to figure out.”

She blew out a breath, her eyes misting. “Then I guess we're on the same sinking ship, and we both need to choose a lifeboat.”

He snapped up his head. “This isn't good-bye forever, Shelby. Whatever I did or said to make you run away tonight, I hope you can forgive me.”

“Forgiveness is the easiest thing,” she said. “We both need time to figure out some things in our lives. Whether what we have between us is real...” She swallowed back more tears and met his eyes. “Or if it was all a lovely dream.” Oh, yes, she had a whole lot of praying to do. She'd seek the Lord's will, knowing He'd have the answers she couldn't find on her own. Lean on Him, as Harrison encouraged her to do. He was right, but she needed to find out for herself.

“If this has all been a dream,” Harrison said, “then it's the most vivid dream of my life. Believe
that
.” Perched on the curb, he raised his arm and whistled. A cab with its driver behind the wheel sat a block away. At Harrison's call, the driver started up the car and headed in their direction. When it stopped beside them, Harrison opened the door, waiting, his expression downcast. For once, he didn't look at her. She hated leaving him like this. “Harry,” she said, her voice faltering. “Forgive me, too. It's just...”

“Just what?” His voice was low, bewilderment creasing his features.

She inhaled a quick, deep breath. “I heard you say something in Robert's house. You and Pops were talking about my financial situation and about Harmony Lane.”

His mouth gaped. “Please don't jump to conclusions, Shelby. If you think for one second that I only want you for your money, you've got it all wrong—”

“Maybe I do,” she said, “but it was only the catalyst. Like a wise man told me, I need to find my home and know my own heart. But until I do that, I fear my heart is not mine to give. Harrison, I came to Edinburgh to honor a promise to my father. I never expected to meet you. Everything happened so fast between us, and I'm not sure I can trust these feelings.”

Harrison stared at her as if in disbelief, his brows drawn together, his lips compressed. “You're not sure you can trust
me
. That's what this is all about. Look, even if you can't admit it to me, be honest enough to admit it to yourself. From the moment you spouted that absolutely ridiculous spiel in the Castle Gardens about having pins in your head, you had me. Call me crazy, but I knew you were one of the least pretentious, genuine people I'd ever met.” He shook his head. “I never would have believed you'd question my motives, my ethics, or especially the depth of my feelings for you.”

He waved one hand in the air as if dismissing her. “Go back to Chicago, Shelby. I hope you'll be very happy. Find your peace. With Pops running Harmony Lane, you can rest assured it's in capable hands. I can only pray, in the years to come, you'll think fondly of this time we've spent together in Edinburgh.” His eyes met hers. “I know I will.”

Swallowing her tears, knowing there was nothing further she could say, Shelby climbed into the backseat of the cab. Harrison closed the door, telling the driver to take her to the hotel. Turning her head, she steeled herself not to glance out the window as the cab pulled away. Harrison would be standing there, but she couldn't bear it. She settled into the seat and allowed the tears to flow.

Saying good-bye and letting go of her parents was the hardest thing she'd ever done.

Until now.

 

21

 

Three Months Later

Harmony Lane, Lexington, Kentucky

Shelby swirled her spoon in her hot chocolate and focused on the melting cream. She covered her mouth with one hand as she yawned. It had been a long day, first exercising the horses and then conducting an inspection of the fences with Robert. Then she'd taken a long, relaxing ride to clear her mind and soothe her soul. Her exhaustion was borne of the deep satisfaction that could only come from being home at Harmony Lane.

“I'm sure you've wondered why I never showed you the letter your dad sent to me.” Robert slid into the chair opposite her at the kitchen table.

“A man has a right to his privacy.” She took a sip of her hot chocolate.

Lifting his mug of coffee, Robert held it between both hands, elbows on the table. He narrowed those piercing blue eyes. “I've learned there's a fine line between privacy and loneliness. Your daddy knew that, too. Back when I worked at Harmony Lane all those years ago, as I believe I told you, we were close friends. But there was always something unspoken between us.”

“What do you mean?” Shelby took another sip.

Robert lowered his mug and massaged the fingers of one hand over his brow. “He always envied my relationship with your mother even though I told him we were good friends, nothing more. With Katie and me, it was more an emotional connection. We worked the farm together, so it was only natural we got to know each other well. We talked, we had fun, and we understood one another. Tommy realized I was falling for Lily at some point before I enlisted, and he strongly encouraged that relationship. When I came back to Kentucky after my time was up in the Army and discovered Lily had given up waiting for me and married David”—he blew out a deep sigh, the long-ago pain etched in his expression—“I more or less blamed Tommy for letting it happen while I was gone.”

“So, that's why you didn't speak to each other for all those years?”

He nodded. “Aye, lass. Regrettably so. By the time I wised up and realized I'd made him the scapegoat for my own failings, it was too late. It probably wouldn't have made a difference in the way things turned out, but all the same, I should have been man enough—
friend
enough—to ask your daddy's forgiveness. One of the biggest regrets of my life is not making peace with Tommy.”

Shelby reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “Daddy wouldn't have written the letter and asked you to come home if he didn't respect you. Just like I know it was in God's plan for me to be the one to find you and deliver that letter.”

“That's part of what I wanted to tell you. In the letter, he said if I was reading it, then it meant he'd passed on.” Fingering the handle on his coffee mug, Robert cleared his throat. “He invested me with a very important responsibility, Shelby. As you know, Harmony Lane was vital to him—his lifeblood and heritage—but your daddy asked me to watch over what was infinitely more precious.”

Shelby's eyes misted, and she waited, knowing in her heart what his next word would be.

“You.”

Robert rose from the chair as she jumped up and ran around the table. Wrapping her arms around him, she leaned her head against his chest, allowing her tears to fall. “He was taking care of me even then.” She burrowed into him, loving how he smelled like hay and horses, like her father. More than that, Robert held her close and seemed to understand her.
Love
her.

When he tilted her chin, his eyes were wet. “I don't expect or ever want to take your father's place, Shelby, but it's my great honor to be a part of your life.”

She noted this man's quiet strength, his goodness. “I think you've been part of my life a lot longer than either of us could ever know.” With a small laugh, Shelby moved out of his embrace. “That probably made no sense.”

“You make more sense than you know.” The same words Harrison said to her in Edinburgh. The deep ache in her heart twisted her emotions all over again.

Shelby grabbed a tissue from the counter and dabbed it beneath her eyes. “Sometimes I wonder how all this would have played out if I'd never made that promise to Daddy.”

A smile relaxed Robert's features as he carried his empty mug to the sink. “All in God's plan.” He turned and leaned back against the counter, arms crossed. “Your story with Harrison's not done either. Surely, you know that.”

A quick sip from her mug confirmed the hot chocolate was now lukewarm, losing its appeal. Shelby avoided looking at Robert, afraid he'd read her indecision. “I love him, Pops, but when I heard you two talking that last night in Edinburgh—” She shook her head and heaved a sigh. “In my heart, I knew I'd misunderstood. We shared too much for Harrison to betray me.” Following Robert's lead, she took her mug to the sink and rinsed it.

“The truth? I was scared when I took off from your house that night.” Shelby lifted her gaze to his. “Scared of giving away my heart. It made me say some ill-advised, really dumb things. I never meant to hurt him, Pops.”

“I know that, and so does Harrison. As I said before, you're one of the smartest people I know. Harrison's faith is strong. Aye, you hurt him, lass, but he knew he had to let you go in order to figure things out for yourself. Find out your direction, find out his
own
direction, and where he might fit into your life. If it helps put things in perspective, Harrison has plenty of his own money. And the Miriam Foundation is more than just a job.”

“That was apparent from the start,” she said, shaking her head. “I could tell how invested he is in the foundation.”

“With Harrison, it's intensely personal, Shelby.”

“What exactly do you mean?” Shelby lifted her gaze to Robert's, searching his strong, weathered features.

“Honey, Harrison
is
the foundation. Sure, he has people on the payroll, and his dad is still a figurehead, but our friend pretty much runs the foundation now. Does a great job, too. The Miriam Foundation is doing some terrific work around the world.”

Stunned, Shelby glanced up at him. “I realized in hindsight he'd never specifically mentioned the foundation by name when we were in Scotland, and I never asked. Pops, why do you think he didn't tell me?”

Robert shrugged. “Only Harrison can answer that question, but if I may hazard a guess, I suspect it's because women in his past have been overly impressed with his family credentials. Call it a trust issue, perhaps. I'm sure he liked the idea of getting to know you—and vice versa—without the foundation being a factor.”

“He told me all about it, but not that it was his
own family's foundation.”

“Named after his mother, as a matter of fact.”

Shelby slapped her forehead and groaned. “How could I be so dense?”

Robert chuckled. “Not dense, but you were a woman falling in love. Love has a way of clouding our minds from clear rationale. We see what we
want
to see.”

“I completely misunderstood and jumped to the wrong conclusion,” Shelby said. “I
was
incredibly dense, and Harry was right. He knew I needed something exactly like the program we've set up here now at Harmony Lane, and he encouraged me to come home to Lexington for good.” Seemed Harrison could see what she needed but she'd been blinded to it. “By the way, the first group of kids from the Miriam Foundation is coming next Saturday. Sylvia Donigan called yesterday to make all the arrangements.”

Robert planted both of his big hands on her shoulders. “Harrison's more than worth the risk.”

Life was full of risks.
Love
was a risk, but Robert was right. “Harrison loves his work. I can't tie him down to one place. I don't think he'd be happy for long.”

“Maybe it's not your decision to make,” Robert said. “Do you trust
me
?”

“Of course, I do. You wouldn't be here at Harmony Lane now if I didn't, no matter what Daddy wanted.” As soon as the words slipped out, regret rushed through her. “I'm sorry,” she said. “That sounded incredibly entitled and high handed.”

“You're the boss now,” he said. “You're strong. All your training in school and your position at the brokerage firm has made you tough to handle the decisions that need to be made. But you have a very tender heart. Tommy knew all that, too.”

“And you're so much more than a hired employee, and you know it. I love you, Pops.” The last statement was almost a whisper, and another glimmer of regret passed through her for not telling him until now. How long overdue those words were.