Echoes of Silence (Unquiet Mind Book 1) (33 page)

We waited for what felt like an eternity, and then I heard the roar. That familiar roar of a Harley. Kill heard it too and his hand flexed in mine. His reflexes may have been quick, but he had nothing on me. I jumped off the sofa and was halfway across the room before he called after me. I didn’t pause, didn’t turn. I just ran out of the clubhouse into the parking lot. Various bikes were pulling back in, but I was searching for only one.

The one Zane was riding, the one that pulled up in front of me. I was afraid. I was terrified of looking at his face, at seeing the demons Mom had chased away return to destroy him, and destroy me too.

“Courage, dear heart.”

I looked up at the same time he got off the motorcycle.

I would have collapsed right there if he hadn’t been there to catch me. His arms circled around me.

“She’s okay. We got her, Lex,” he murmured against my hair.

I clung to his cut for a split second then found my feet.

“Take me to her,” I commanded.

Zane grinned, properly, ear to ear. He reached over to his bike, retrieving a helmet that he fastened on my head. Once that was done, he nodded to the bike.

“Hop on.”

I gaped at him. “Mom would kill me,” I replied instantly. He knew Mom’s rule.

He stroked my cheek. “I think she’ll understand, just this once,” he murmured.

He hopped on and I didn’t hesitate. I got on behind him and fastened my hands around his waist. He didn’t waste any time roaring out of the lot.

Kill stood watching me with my boys by his side. I blew him a kiss as we left. And in a gesture I didn’t think any other person in the planet could execute while still holding onto his badass card, he caught the imaginary kiss and clutched it to his chest.

Then he was out of my sight and I buried my head into Zane’s back, hoping upon hope that someone had answered my prayers, and everything would be okay.

I’d find out later that they had. Every single one.

Then even later, I’d find out they hadn’t.

SIX MONTHS LATER

Kill held my wrists above my head; they were clasped in one of his hands while the other spanned my ribcage, trailing down the side of my body, leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

His mouth moved against mine, devouring me, turning me into a mess of need and desire. His body was pressed against mine and my back was flush against the wall. I let out a sound at the back of my throat that would have been slightly embarrassing, but all I thought of nothing but Kill’s mouth on mine and more.

I had wanted more, but I got less. A lot less. Kill was suddenly gone and halfway across the garage in what felt like the blink of an eye.

I stared at him, rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand.

“What—?” I began to protest but then my gaze moved to the door, which Zane had just stepped into.

His gaze was murderous on Kill. “It’s eleven,” he bit out. “You need to be at the club. Shit to do,” he declared.

Kill returned his look and then nodded tightly.

Zane’s gaze was on me and it softened immediately. “In the house in five, Lex,” he said softly. “Also, your mom has instructed me to tell you, and I quote, ‘If you don’t get your butt inside before
The Walking Dead,
she’ll feed you to the zombies the minute they start taking over the earth,’” he informed me, his eyes dancing slightly.

I wasn’t fooled by the way he spoke. It was not a request. Zane took to enforcing Mom’s loose curfew to something akin to how a drill sergeant enforced his soldiers. It may have disappointed me, saying good-bye to Kill, having to abide by rules when it came to my lawless boy, but Zane never annoyed me. It was something that I actually liked. It was how a father would enforce his daughter’s curfew.
That’s what he was to me. The moment he slipped the ring on Mom’s finger, and even before that, he was my father. My second father. Steve was my first. The man who kidnapped and almost killed my mom and the love of my life was nothing. He wasn’t dead to me because he never existed to me.

I didn’t know where he was. I had a feeling he might not be in this world if Zane and Kill had anything to do with it. I knew that should affect me, screw me up in a multitude of ways, but somehow I didn’t find myself haunted by my father’s ghost. That was because ghosts existed in the darkest of places, and for the past six months, I’d only seen light. Apart from the day at the club, two weeks after everything. It had been hard to face the results of what happened after Mom was kidnapped, but we didn’t have much time to focus on that, considering Zane proposed to her the moment he found her and declared he wanted a wedding as soon as possible. I’d gone into ultimate wedding planner mode, not letting Mom plan a thing. Hence me being at the club after a meeting with my fellow planners. Gwen, Amy, and Evie were amazing, helping out with anything and everything.

I was about to walk out of the common room and into the bays to where I knew Kill would be.

“Lexie,” a raspy voice called, making me stop.

I turned with a smile on my face for the owner of the voice. Steg’s wrinkled but attractive, albeit scary face was focused on me.

“Hey, Steg,” I greeted warmly. What Kill had said about him not being nice just simply wasn’t true. I felt a connection with the older, ex-president of the Sons of Templar MC. I guessed he could be scary to anyone who threatened his family, but to me, he was always a bristly kind of soft. He didn’t treat me with kid gloves; I liked that. Kill and I had been over there for dinner a few times in the past few weeks and a lot while Mom was still in hospital. Their big ranch out in the middle of nowhere was like a fortress and a second home. I liked how they treated Kill, with the same kind of bristly softness they treated me. Granted, Steg was a lot bristlier, but it was apparent he cared for Kill. He deserved that, people who loved him.

“You got a second, sweetheart?” Steg asked, his face strangely blank.

I furrowed my brows slightly at the look but nodded. “Sure,” I said, stepping toward him. “I was only going to hang out with Kill while he worked anyway.”

Steg gave me a half grin. “Well, let’s give the kid a few more minutes of concentration,” he teased. He nodded toward the door marked “Church.” I bugged my eyes out slightly at this invitation but followed him into the room. I immediately knew something was wrong. This room didn’t hold happy memories for me. The last time I was in here was when Mom was kidnapped, when I didn’t know if I’d see her again. I wasn’t supposed to be in here.

“Sit down, sweetheart,” Steg invited, nodding to a chair.

I swallowed and did as he bid. He sat on the one beside me, moving it slightly so he faced me.

His silvery gray eyes regarded me for a long moment before he spoke.

“Well aware that Bull, your mom, and Kill aren’t gonna be the ones to tell you this. They’re hell-bent on protecting you from everything the world throws at you. Know for a fact Kill would damn near shoot me for having this conversation, despite the fact I’m the man who brought him up.” He paused. “That’s a testament to how much you mean to him, but the kid means something to me, to the club. The club’s in his blood and always will be. Looks like club may be in his blood, but you’re under his skin in a way it looks like you’re gonna stay there. He’s gonna patch in, which means you’re gonna be an old lady. We protect old ladies. Die for them if need be. But you ain’t gonna make it in this world without knowing what it is. So I’m gonna tell you. I’m doin’ this ‘cause I like you, sweetheart. ‘Cause I know you’re strong enough to handle it,” he said, his voice rough and no-nonsense.

I sucked in a breath at all of this. It was a lot to take in unprepared, and Steg wasn’t giving me much time to let it process. He didn’t seem to give me any time before he started talking again.

“Your mom hasn’t told you much about your dad, about how he was connected to the murder of your grandparents?” he asked, though it wasn’t exactly structured as a question.

My heart sank and I shook my head slowly, tasting bile. Mom barely spoke about Steve and Ava’s death since it happened. She talked about them all the time. She didn’t let the memory of them dim, didn’t let sorrow bury their spirits. They were always with us. But this, the darkest black of reality didn’t come into our lives. I tried not to think of it, of the ugliness. Tried not to wonder about the faceless person walking this earth, breathing free after doing this. I tried to swallow the fury I felt when I thought of this. I was successful most of the time. There was enough light in my life to chase away those dark thoughts, but sometimes in the middle of the night, when I couldn’t escape them, when the light wasn’t there to chase them away, those thoughts came back.

Steg nodded briskly. “Didn’t think so. Man was a piece of shit. Lowest of the low.” He paused. “Know this ‘cause the way this club used to run, it put me right down there with those people. The low people. Your dad, he was further. So low that when he was Kill’s age, he didn’t turn into the man your man is. He was evil. A coward. Even then. He was involved in shit that made him powerful. And powerful men with evil blood are fuckin’ dangerous, which is why your mom left. She knew he’d kill you, both of you otherwise. Strong woman your mom,” he said with respect, with pride. “Strong woman brought up a strong daughter,” he added, laying his large hand over mine.

I looked down at it with detachment, still digesting his words. He wasn’t finished.

“Your father didn’t feel love, but he did have a sick infatuation with your mom. Sick enough he spent almost sixteen years lookin’ for her. Those sixteen years he became more powerful, more evil, his soul rotted and twisted,” Steg spat, his voice moving toward fury. He squeezed my hand. “It was his rotten and twisted soul that took Ava and Steve from you,” he said the words quickly, like ripping a Band-Aid off quickly. I guessed he hoped the initial sting would subside as quickly as he said the words.

If only. Agony settled into my soul at these words. Into my blood. The blood that was half his. My father. My father was the one who killed my family.

“Stay with me, sweetheart. We’re not done yet,” Steg said softly.

I blinked up at him. “Not done?” I choked out. “What else is there?’

I asked, but I knew. Somehow I knew.

“Evil men like him, they see beauty, pure beauty, like what you’ve got, what your mom’s got, and they have to possess it. When it gets away from them, they will dedicate their life to get it back. Not to nurture it like Bull does, like Kill does, but to destroy it,” Steg explained. “He spent sixteen years lookin’ for it. He found it. Not because Steve and Ava told him. They died protectin’ you and your mom. ‘Cause somehow coincidence favors those evil souls in some sick joke.” He paused, musing for a second. “Maybe coincidence favored you ‘cause he found you just when you found yourself a family that would die before they let anything destroy you. That would never let that happen,” he corrected. There was a long pause. “So that’s it. What the people you love would die to protect you from, but what you need to know, just the same.”

I was silent for a long while. Steve and Ava dead because of him. My mom endure
d
u
twenty-four hours of hurt because of him. Zane went through the nightmare similar to what happened four years ago because of him. I feeling complete and utter terror at the thought of losing my mom like I lost Ava and Steve
because of him.

I lifted my head to give Steg an even stare. “Did he pay?” I asked flatly. “Did you make him pay?”

Steg jolted, and I saw the surprise in his eyes before they turned hard. He nodded. “Yeah, darlin’, Bull made him pay.”

I nodded. The fury that had pulsed through me like some kind of monster seemed to quiet slightly.

There must be something wrong with me for thinking this, for feeling this, about my own father.

“Proud of you, Lexie,” Steg declared. “Consider Kill to be a son to me, family. You’re my family too. I know a lot of strong women. Heck, I’m married to a warrior in fuckin’ heels. They’re the only kind of women that survive this life. You’re growin’ up to be one of them. You are one. Couple more years, you might give my warrior in heels a run for her money.” He winked. “You tell her I said that, I’ll deny it,” he joked, his tone lighter than it had been before.

I smiled at him weakly, the weight of his previous words heavy on my soul.

“I’ll let you get to your man,” he said, standing. “I’m gonna go put some Kevlar on in preparation for him findin’ out what I told you,” he declared, half joking.

I did the same. “You don’t need to worry about that. I won’t be telling him.”

Steg frowned at me. “Didn’t tell you this to keep it a secret, darlin’.”

“I know,” I replied. “But he doesn’t need to steal anything else from me. He took Steve and Ava. He tried to take my mom, my happiness, my future. He isn’t taking a second more,” I said.

Steg regarded me. He shook his head and bent in to kiss my forehead. “Perfect for him,” he murmured.

Steg moved to open the door.

“Thank you,” I said to his back. “Thank you for telling me.”

He stopped and turned. “You’re welcome, darlin’,” he replied before giving me one more look and leaving the room.

I followed him after a beat and walked on lead-filled legs to the bays in a sort of dream. It almost felt like I was walking underwater, wading through the thick air as the words and thoughts surrounded me.

“Lexie?” Killian’s alert and concerned voice jerked me out of my mind.

My head lifted to see him in front of me, his face a mask of worry. I’d made it out to the garage where he was working without even noticing.

“What is it?” he demanded, clutching my arms.

It was safe to say Killian was uber protective over me lately, as if he hadn’t been before. He seemed to make it his life’s mission to make sure nothing else ugly touched me, which was precisely why I wasn’t telling him anything. We were just getting back to beautiful. I wouldn’t pollute that. I could deal with this darkness on my own; somehow I knew I had to.

“Nothing,” I reassured him, giving him a smile. “Just a million and one wedding tasks to get through.”

Kill frowned at me, seeming to see through my lie before he shook his head and kissed me softly. “Don’t stress out too much, Freckles. You got a bride, a groom, someone to marry them, and your family. You don’t need much else,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes. “And music. Your beautiful voice needs to be the soundtrack to this particular event.”