Echoes of Us (26 page)

“Fine, Jade. If you think it’s for the best, then I’ll sign after the show tomorrow night.” It was another lie to add to the mountain.

“Okay, Rylan, that would be great,” Jade said quietly. I thought he’d be more excited. After all, it’s what he wanted.

I nodded and twisted the doorknob. Jade tried to hug me, but I sidestepped his grasp. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to sleep.”

Dave glanced at me when I walked out of Jade’s room.

“You okay?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Can I talk to you?”

Dave stood up and called Brent, telling him he needed a break. Brent was there in five minutes. “I’ll be in Rylan’s room if anyone needs me.”

Dave followed me into my room. I went straight to the minibar and grabbed the first bottle I could wrap my fingers around.

“Rylan,” Dave said. “What’s going on?”

“You’ve been a great friend.”

Dave studied my face, got up, walked over to the minibar, and grabbed his own bottle. “I have a feeling I’m going to need this.”

I chugged my bottle and frowned. I sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I have no right to ask you this, and you can tell me no,” I rambled. “Whatever you decide, I would appreciate it if you could keep it to yourself.”

“You’re not signing, are you?”

“No,” I said. “Tomorrow is my last show, and I was wondering if you could help me get out of the arena when it’s over.”

“Have you talked to Jade?”

“I’ve tried, but he wants to sign. I can’t do it anymore, Dave. There’s been so many lies that I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

“Rylan, I’m sorry,” Dave said.

“You don’t have to apologize,” I said.

“Yeah, I do. I think all of this is total bullshit, Rylan. I wish there was something I could have done for you.”

“They would have fired you,” I said. “Having you around made it a little more bearable. I do appreciate it.”

He stood up and patted my shoulder. I tried to keep the tears inside, but they insisted on leaking out of my eyes. Dave pulled me into a big bear hug. When he walked out of the room, his eyes were wet too.

This was going to hurt so many people, but if I stayed, it would be worse. I curled up in a ball and lay in the middle of the large bed. I missed Jade already, and my wrist felt naked.

I managed to avoid Jade most of the day. We did separate interviews and separate meet and greets. Sound check was quick, and then Dave whisked me away, citing something that sounded plausible. We went back to the hotel and did a shot of tequila. Close to show time, I ventured over to Jade’s room.

The contracts sat on the table ready for our signatures.

“Did you sign it?” Jade asked.

“Uh, I told you, I’d sign after the concert,” I lied again. Last night had solidified my decision, and today I had accepted my future. This wasn’t the life I wanted, and if I didn’t get out now, I would end up hating him. I already hated myself for giving in to all their demands. I couldn’t be a dirty little secret anymore. I was done with the lies.

“Okay,” Jade said. He reached for my hand, but I pulled away, pretending to fuss with my tie.

“I can’t believe we’re playing the Garden,” I said.

“Yeah, me neither,” he said.

His phone buzzed, signaling that the car was downstairs ready to whisk us away. I headed to the door, but he grabbed my arm and spun me around.

“It’s all going to work out,” Jade said. I couldn’t make myself turn away from his kiss. Just because I was leaving him didn’t mean I didn’t love him. I would always love him. He tried to deepen the kiss, but I shoved him away.

“Andy will know,” I said and stepped away from him. “I don’t need him shouting in my face before the show.”

He frowned but agreed with me.

Jade was amped up and the ride to the arena was tense. Maggie sent a text wishing us luck. I couldn’t even reply. What the fuck was I supposed to tell her? This was it for me, my swan song. When the last note played tonight, I was walking out of Jade’s life and away from a multimillion dollar contract. People were going to think I’d lost my fucking mind, and maybe I had. I knew if I stayed, I
would
lose my fucking mind.

The closer we got to the arena, the more traffic slowed us down. There were people everywhere. When we’d done our sound check earlier, I swear some of the same people were still here, standing in the pouring rain.

Most normal acts would be driven into the underground entrance, but management loved to let the fans have access to us. The driver stopped the car and our bodyguards surrounded the car with bulk and umbrellas. I sighed, and Jade patted my knee. I flinched and quickly opened the door. The fake smiles came easy now. I’d been perfecting them for a year.

A loud roar from the crowd went up as we were quickly ushered inside the building. Jade bumped me and placed a warm hand on my shoulder. I twisted away from him, shrinking from his touch because Andy was always watching. My mind flashed back to the unsigned contracts, and suddenly I didn’t give a shit. What the hell more could he do to me? After tonight, he no longer owned me. I leaned over and whispered in Jade’s ear.

“I will always love you.”

He cocked his head and gave me a confused look. I shrugged and let Dave practically carry me into the building, where we were hustled into the dressing rooms for hair and makeup.

My phone buzzed again showing another text from Maggie. She was worried. I sent her a smiley face. She was going to know something was up, because I hated those stupid emoticons.

We signed some autographs, posed for some fucking pictures, and goofed around with the lucky fans who were given backstage passes. Time passed in a whirl of makeup brushes and hairspray. We were given last-minute orders about costume changes and some other shit. I pretended to listen to all the instructions. Don’t stand so close to each other. Flirt with the girls. It was the same shit they told us at every show.

“Hurry up and get changed,” Ella shouted at us. She hustled us out of makeup and into the dressing room where everything was neatly laid out for us.

“Fifteen minutes,” Ella said before she closed the door.

We were alone. We were never alone anymore. I turned my back on Jade and stripped off my jeans and shirt. The click of the lock sliding into place sounded like an explosion, and I was sure someone was going to be pounding on the door in a second, shouting at us to open the fucking thing.

His warm hands slid up my spine bringing me back to the first night we made love.

“Jade, please,” I whimpered when he pressed his body against mine. “They’re going to fucking kill us.”

“
They
are not here right now, and I’ve missed you so much.”

He ran his hands down my back, slipped his fingers in the waistband of my underwear, and slowly pulled them down. The logical side of my brain told me to fight him, to say no and get dressed for the show. My heart told my brain to shut the fuck up. This was probably going to be the last time, and I was going to take whatever he was offering.

He buried his face in my neck, ran his tongue across my shoulder, and bit down hard. I hissed but let him mark me. It would be visible when I wore my white T-shirt.

The unmistakable sound of the top popping off a lube bottle filled my ears. The tearing of a condom wrapper caught my attention, but I understood why he was using one. I didn’t need to have fluids leaking out of me during our performance. His wet fingers spread me apart, and I leaned forward and grabbed the edge of the table. He pressed two fingers into me. We really didn’t have time to mess around, and I didn’t care. He could have shoved into me the minute he slicked his cock.

“Just do it,” I growled. The physical pain would be a welcome distraction to me.

He twisted and wiggled his fingers for a few more minutes. His cock nudged against me, and he grabbed me around the waist and shoved hard into me. I bit my lip and stifled my shout. It burned, and the ache spread through my entire body. Jade stilled, waiting for me to adjust.

“Fuck me,” I begged.

He groaned, and it was then I felt the desperation in him. His hands were everywhere, running up my back, digging into my hips and tugging on my hair. He bit me again, and I arched into him, meeting his frantic thrusts. When I tried to grab my cock, he slapped my hand away and wrapped his slick hand around my erection, and twisted and ran his thumb through my slit until I wanted to scream.

“Almost there,” he gasped. He tightened his grip on me, and I grunted.

“Now, Jade,” I moaned, and watched as my cum covered his hand.

He bit down on my shoulder again and collapsed on top of me when he came.

“Five minutes” came a voice from out in the hall.

“Christ,” Jade groaned.

“Yeah, Christ,” I said as he pulled out and I examined his marks in the mirror. “I look like I was attacked by a vampire or have leprosy or something.”

Jade shrugged and tossed a towel at me so I could wipe up any remaining jizz. We quickly got dressed. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. Did he know what was coming?

This once magical ride had been reduced to a bunch of angry people shouting about insignificant things. The worst thing was Jade wanted to keep the lies going. Too many people had already been hurt by this roller coaster ride. It was my turn to get off.

“Hey,” Jade said. “You okay?”

I nodded because I didn’t trust my voice.

“You ready, then? It’s Madison Square Garden, babe!”

Jade unlocked the door, and Ella burst into the room. She fussed and fiddled with our hair, straightened our collars, and gave me an exasperated look when she spotted the hickeys on my collarbone and throat. I pointed at Jade. She pulled a tube of cover up out of her pocket, but I waved her off. She didn’t even argue. Instead, I got an eye roll and doused with hairspray.

Jade bounced out of the room and headed down the hall, high-fiving everyone who saw him. I hung back and tried to calm down.

Ella touched my back. “Rylan, it’s going to be okay.”

When I looked into her eyes, she gasped and covered her mouth. She knew.

“Please,” I begged. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“Oh God,” she whimpered and turned her back to me.

“I have to.” I felt like I owed her an explanation, but I didn’t have the time. I touched her hand and frowned because Jade was shouting at me. It was time to slide into my pop star persona.

Ella pulled me into a quick hug. Ella K never hugged anyone. Jade gave me a weird look, but I shrugged it off. We stood shoulder to shoulder for a few seconds, and then he turned to face me and rested his forehead against mine. I had to bite back the tears. He wanted to say something, but he swallowed the words and knuckle bumped me. What the fuck?

The music signaling our walk to the stage started. I was surprised to see Andy waiting in the wings. God, I wanted to lean in and tell him to fuck off, but it would have to wait until after the show. He hugged us both and I went stiff as a board when he touched me.

“It’s been a great year, boys. I can only hope the next year will be just as lucrative for us all.”

“Fat fucking chance,” I said under my breath.

The thumping of the drums pounding in my chest sent adrenaline racing through my blood. We sprinted out on stage to a roar so loud I couldn’t even hear my own voice over the microphone. I took a minute to scan the audience. The RheartJ signs were out in full force. I was always surprised Andy didn’t set up checkpoints to search the fans and take any unsavory signs away from them. He liked to believe he could control everything.

Jade talked to the audience, thanking them for a great year. I smiled and flirted with some girls in the front row, posing for pictures and shaking hands, until Jade came over and grabbed me by the arm and hauled me back to center stage. The set started, and I went into autopilot, playing my part perfectly.

The costume changes were quick. Our harmonies were spot-on, and the banter with the audience was light and charming. Then the house lights dimmed, the audience settled down, and Jade and I sat alone in the middle of the stage. He picked up his guitar, and I watched as his calloused fingers slid down the neck. My body remembered how his hands felt the first time he touched me. I remembered everything from our first awkward kiss in the hallway to waking up snuggled against his warm body. I wondered if I went back, knowing what I knew now, would I still choose to kiss him? I stared at him and took a deep breath. Thoughts of our first time invaded my mind again. It had been good. And even though things were pretty shitty right now, I figured, with time, I’d come to appreciate the time we’d spent together.

Things had been simple before we put those songs up on YouTube and Andy Tremaine found us. I heard Jade tell the audience that this past year had been a dream come true, the best year ever.

He continued to talk about the past year. I had to close my eyes and count silently in my head to keep from falling apart. Most of the days had been good, but lately, the lies were taking over everything and I didn’t know where the lies ended and I began. Kelli was back home and Maggie was in Chicago. I missed them.

He plucked a few notes, but stopped and stood up. I eyed him when he shuffled his stool closer to me. He also fucked around with his mic stand before he settled back down. A shy smile spread across his face, and I almost died when he hooked his ankle around mine and started to sing “From the Beginning.” We usually didn’t sing that song anymore. Andy thought it gave too much away. My throat felt like it was collapsing, and I could barely breathe. The heat from his ankle actually calmed me down, and I was able to join him on the chorus.

The audience went bat-shit crazy when the song ended. My entire body shook as we bowed. It got worse when I felt Jade’s hand sneak under my shirt. I reminded myself he had chosen to sign a contract that would keep our secret hidden behind a wall of lies.

I took a deep breath and pulled away from him. Jade got a funny look on his face when I picked up my microphone and held it to my lips. This was when we were supposed to blow kisses to the audience, smile, and get off the fucking stage.