Authors: Hilary Norman
Tonight, once again, his concentration was focused on vision.
He had another small collection, kept in a special compartment of his refrigerator, of porcine eyes, on which he sometimes rehearsed procedures, placing an eye under the microscope, sometimes using a Styrofoam head and cup, constantly refining his techniques and dexterity.
No practical work tonight.
Tonight, he was just looking over some of his instruments: orb indentors, membrane picks, foreign body forceps, curved scissors, serrated forceps.
He looked, did not touch, but spoke their names out loud, recited each one's purpose, saw in his mind the procedures and operations for which they had been created.
Very few people, he knew, would comprehend the pleasure his collections gave him, were he to try to explain.
Not that it mattered.
Ordinary people's opinions had never mattered much to him.
His patients mattered, what he could do for them.
As he had sworn by Apollo and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panacea in the Hippocratic Oath, which had numerous versions, though he favored the classic translation.
â
If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot.'
He would not transgress.
A doctor, first, last, always.
Grace was typing patient notes in her office just before noon on Monday, when Magda knocked and came in.
âMr Delgado just called to ask if you would see Felicia.'
Grace sat back. âIs she speaking?'
âI didn't question him,' Magda said. âAre you willing?'
âI'll need to speak to him first,' Grace said. âThere are considerations.'
Magda handed her a blue Post-it note with a phone number. âWhen you're ready.'
Grace thought for several moments, then made the call.
He picked up on the first ring, and she introduced herself.
âBefore we go any further,' she said, âthere might be certain issues precluding my visiting your daughter at the Foster-Pérez Clinic. For one thing, I don't have practice privileges there.'
âI already assumed as much,' Delgado said. âWhich is part of the reason why Felicia is coming home tomorrow. I'm taking on a private nurse, and my housekeeper is fine with the arrangements.'
âAnd is her doctor in agreement?' Grace asked.
âDoctor Pérez will continue seeing her at my home.'
âThat's good.' Grace paused. âThree more things. You might want to take time to check out my credentials.'
âAlready done, Doctor.'
She asked the most significant question: âHas Felicia begun speaking?'
âJust a few words,' Delgado said, âand nothing about her mother. But she has begun.'
âThat's very good news.' Grace went on. âThere's one more major issue here, though it represents no conflict at all from my professional standpoint.'
âYour husband,' Delgado got there first. âDetective Becket.'
âQuite,' Grace said.
âI'm sure you respect each other's confidentiality issues.'
âWe do.'
âThen I have no problem,' Delgado said.
Sam took fifteen minutes out to drop by at Lincoln Park Music School to find out if Billie had been attending classes.
Except no one would tell him.
Which was, of course, as it should be.
If Billie's parents wanted to check on their daughter, they were going to have to contact the school directly.
Still no sign of her at evening rehearsal, nor had anyone heard from her.
Faced with major decisions to be made, Linda, by now intensely stressed, had turned to Sam to share the load, linking arms with him and moving away from the rest of the group toward a big old banyan tree.
âI really don't want to give it to Carla,' she said quietly. âHowever fine she is, it's just not a soprano role.' She sighed, frustrated. âThough it would obviously be a thousand times easier to find another Micaëla at this stage than another great Carmen.'
âFrankly' â Toni Petit came from behind, holding a cup â âI'm more concerned about what might have happened to Billie.'
âWe all are,' Sam said, and the delicate fragrance from Toni's drink reached his nose. âWhat's that?'
âThat's my chamomile tea, with honey and vanilla,' Linda said. âGet you some, Sam?'
âNot right now, thanks.' He paused. âDoes Billie drink herb tea?'
âNot to my knowledge,' Linda said.
âIt'd be healthy for her,' Toni said. âWherever she is.'
âI wouldn't worry too much about our Miss Smith.' Tyler Allen joined them. âI have her down as a Grade-A mini-diva.'
The rest of the group were making their way over the lawn.
âYou couldn't be more wrong,' Sam said to Allen.
âAll this chopping and changing Carmens isn't exactly a picnic for me,' Jack Holden complained.
âYou said you enjoyed my interpretation on Thursday,' Carla said.
â“Interpretation”,' Tyler mocked. âYou were a good stand-in, darling.'
Sam shot him a look.
âYou have a problem with me?' Tyler asked.
âJust with the barbed remarks,' Sam said.
âHow about we get down to some work?' Linda took control.
âAnd anyone who's not needed first â' Toni raised her voice â âI'd like to check measurements.'
Sam called Larry Smith from the Saab after rehearsal to tell him that the school needed to hear from him before releasing any information.
âI'll call first thing,' Larry said. âBut what if she hasn't been there? I mean, I guess she can't be called a missing person, not if she's probably just gone off someplace.'
âAny luck naming the bar where she works?'
âNope,' Larry said.
âMaybe Jill knows,' Sam said.
âJill's not feeling too great right now,' Larry said. âWhich is why I don't want to stress her. It's also why I can't just drop everything and come down to Miami â we don't even know that Billie's
in
Miami.'
Sam told his old school friend that he'd see what he could do.
Billie troubling him even more now.
On Tuesday morning, shown into Felicia Delgado's bedroom in her father's condo by the gentle-mannered nurse, Grace found the room cool and dimly lit, the drapes closed.
The teenager was sitting up in bed, her hands on the covers, her dark hair loose around her shoulders. The dark glasses she wore despite the semidarkness were as oversized as Sam had described.
âHello, Felicia,' she said. âI'm Grace Lucca. I'm a psychologist, and I'm here to help you, if you want me to.'
Felicia Delgado didn't respond, her expression impossible to read.
There was a chair against the wall over to Grace's right.
âWould you mind if I bring that chair a little closer, Felicia?'
She shrugged, and Grace picked up the chair and placed it about four feet from the bed, not wanting her to feel hemmed in.
She sat down. âDo you understand why I'm here?'
âYou're a shrink.' The teenager's voice was soft and a little husky. âA shrink came to see me in the clinic, but I didn't feel like talking, so she went away again.'
No purpose in raising her brief appointment with Magda, Grace decided, especially given that it had taken place before her mother's death.
In another lifetime.
âDo you think you feel ready to talk to me now?' she asked.
âI'm not sure,' Felicia said.
âThat's OK,' Grace said. âWe can just see how it goes.'
The only sound in the room now was the air conditioning's low hum.
Grace took a chance. âI'm going to ask you to help me out with something, Felicia. But if you're not willing, that's OK, we'll manage.' She paused. âI know you don't want to take off your lovely glassesâ'
She saw the girl visibly flinch.
ââbut because of them,' she went on, âI can't tell how you're feeling.'
âI'm not taking them off.'
âI'm not asking you to,' Grace said. âI know you have a problem with that.'
âI don't want to talk about it.' Felicia's voice rose a little.
âYou don't have to. Not till you're ready.'
âI'll never be ready.'
âThat's OK,' Grace said. âI just want to explain that, from time to time, because so much of your face is hidden by your glasses, I might ask you questions about how you're feeling that seem dumb.'
âOh,' Felicia said. âOK.'
âThank you,' Grace said. âI only raised it because I'd like us to be honest with each other. So you know that I know about your problem.'
She allowed a decent pause.
âIt's also pretty dark in here. Would you mind if I opened the drapes?'
Felicia didn't answer.
âI know I'd feel better,' Grace said. âI often find first meetings quite hard, so it might help me if the room were a little brighter.'
âSo open them,' the teenager said.
âThank you.' Grace stood up, crossed over to the window, found a cord, opened the drapes and turned around.
This room had not, of course, been Felicia's home, but it was not an impersonal guest room, seemed like a place in which she might have spent time in the past. There were no posters, the only âteen' thing a framed, signed photograph of three of the Harry Potter movie kids. A swift scan of the bookshelves revealed âExtraordinary Hispanic Americans', a Bible and a Laura Ingalls Wilder novel, and Grace wondered if Felicia removed her dark glasses to read, if perhaps she waited until she knew no one would walk in on her, or if she locked doors.
Or maybe she never took them off at all in case she passed a mirror and caught sight of her own reflection.
âI'm sorry,' Felicia said. âI know I'm not easy.'
âYou have nothing to be sorry for,' Grace told her. âYou've been through an unimaginable ordeal, and you've suffered the worst kind of loss, and I wish I knew some easy way to help you quickly, but I don't. So I'm just going to see if maybe, over time, we can help each other find a way.'
Felicia Delgado's mouth lifted a little at the corners. Not exactly a smile, but something like it.
âWhat?' Grace asked gently.
âNothing.'
âI thought perhaps I saw a trace of a smile.'
âAnd you could see that even with my glasses on,' Felicia said.
Being a smart mouth seemed to Grace a welcome sign of normality.
âYes, I could,' she said. âBut why did you smile?'
âBecause you talk like a real person,' Felicia said.
âI'm relieved to hear that,' Grace said.
There was a knock on the door, and Carlos Delgado looked in. âHow are we doing?'
Grace knew instantly and with regret that the brief connection was lost.
âI think we've been doing fine,' she said, staying focused on his daughter. âThough I think you've probably had enough for one day, haven't you, Felicia?'
âI guess,' she said.
Grace stood up. âWould you mind if I come back again soon?'
âIf you want,' Felicia said.
âI'd like to,' Grace said. âVery much.'
âJust so long as you don't think we're going to be friends,' Felicia said.
âHey,' Carlos Delgado said. âDon't be rude.'
âYour daughter's just saying what she feels,' Grace said. âI want her to know she can be honest with me.'
âSo how much did she say?' Delgado asked.
His living room was emphatically masculine, the flat-screen TV huge, the bar handsomely stocked, the furniture racing-green leather.
âWe made a start,' Grace said.
âDid you ask about her mother?'
âNo.'
âBut if she was a witness . . .'
âWe don't know that yet,' Grace said.
âIf she's talking,' Delgado said, âthe police will want to question her.'
âThey will,' Grace agreed. âBut I don't think she's ready to speak to them.'
âWill you tell your husband that?' Delgado asked.
âIf Detective Becket asks for my professional opinion,' Grace said, âthat's what I'll tell him.'
Billie had not been to class for almost a week, Larry Smith reported to Sam that evening, and the school had no information to offer regarding any part-time work she might be doing.
âAnd so far, apparently,' Sam told Grace later, over bowls of vegetarian chili and couscous at their kitchen table, ânone of her fellow students seem to know anything.'
âYou're really worried about her.'
âI'm concerned,' Sam said. âBut I guess it's her parents' decision as to if and when they regard her as actually missing.'
âI hope she's OK.' Grace paused. âAnd it's all right, by the way, for you to ask me about Felicia Delgado.'
âI was waiting for you. Professional courtesy.'
âThere's not much I can tell you, obviously,' she said. âBut you can ask.'
âDid she talk to you?'
âA little.' Grace paused. âIs she ready to talk to you? Not quite yet, I'd say, but at least we made a start.'
âMeantime, every hour that passes . . .' Sam shook his head.
âIs wasted from the investigation standpoint,' Grace said. âNo help to you, though, if she shuts down again.' She paused. âAs it happens, we'd barely begun when her father came to check on her. I'll see her again as soon as possible.'
Sam put down his fork. âAny chance he might have been deliberately cutting your time short?'
âHe instigated my seeing her, didn't he?' Grace said.
âPoint taken.' He thought for a moment. âWhere did you see her?'