Eden (15 page)

West had fallen asleep,
his arms wrapped tightly around me.  His face looked so
peaceful.  He looked younger.  In sleep he didn’t have to
worry about survival, feel guilt for the actions of his
family.  

It took me a while to
understand how I was feeling that night.  I felt relaxed
too.  Sluggish almost.
 
I didn’t understand what was happening inside of
me.  It was more than the fall of my defenses

I felt happy.

Maybe I did feel things
after all.

TWELVE

Sweat beaded between my
shoulder blades and rolled down my back.  I wiped my forehead
and scanned the trees again.  Maybe it was just the fact that
I was out on scouting patrol by myself but I felt uneasy.  It
felt like something was coming.

While on scouting duty
that morning, I happened upon the biggest elk I had ever
seen.  It had taken three shots to bring it down.  Bill
and Graye had taken it back to Eden to be prepared to eat that
night.

Dead pine needles crunched
softly underneath my feet as I circled around the lake.  I
smelled at the air, searching for any traces of something that
didn’t belong.  I tried to keep my head in the task at hand
but I’d been distracted the last few days. 

Everything had changed and
yet everything hadn’t.  I’d been away from the people of Eden
for the most part since that day I had read the notebook, the night
West had kissed me, again.  I’d been on scouting duty every
day and then on watch tower nearly every night. 

Despite everything I had
learned about myself, everything had gone back to normal.  I
was still who I was. 
I
hadn’t changed at all.  I just knew how I
had become the way I was.  I was still Eve.  As long as I
was breathing, as long as I was still in control of my actions and
the cybernetic side of me didn’t turn me against myself, I would
continue to protect Eden until I took my last
breath. 

Gaging by the position of
the sun above me, I knew it was about time for the scouting
switch.  I headed back toward the lake.  I took a quick
bath and walked to Eden in the fading daylight.

I drug my fingers through
my tangled blond hair and stepped back into the mass of
tents.  The scent of something delicious wafted through the
air.  There was a sense of excitement buzzing around, almost a
tangible thing.

“
Eve!” Sarah called to me
from the clearing in the center.  “Come on!”

I made my way through our
version of a city, watching as people bustled about.  I was
confused how everyone wore their nicest clothes; at least what
passed for nice these days.

“
What’s going on?” I asked
her as I observed several women cooking up a food frenzy in our
makeshift kitchen area.

“
We’re having a party,”
Sarah said with a wide smile.  “Today is Gabriel’s sixtieth
birthday!”

My eyes widened a bit at
this and I gave a nod.  It was impressive.  Not many
people lived to see that age anymore.  Terrif was the only
person older than Gabriel in Eden.  Only the strong had
survived the Fall.

“
Come with me,” Sarah said
excitedly as she grabbed hold of my wrist and pulled me in the
direction of her and Avian’s tent.  “We have to get you
ready.”

“
What’s wrong with the way
I am now?” I asked with only half a voice of protest.

“
You may only be part
human Eve, but the woman inside of you needs some
pampering.”

I wasn’t sure what Sarah
was talking about and if I was being honest, I was a little
frightened what she might mean.  We stepped into the tent and
found Avian, just pulling a shirt over his thin but toned
frame.

“
Out,” Sarah
commanded.  “I have to get Eve ready.”

I glanced at Avian, ready
to give him what I was coming to think of as
our
smile, but he wouldn’t even meet
my eye.  “Yes, ma’am,” he said and ducked out without another
word.

I stared at the place
where he had disappeared with a strange feeling in my
stomach.  There had been a weird feeling between us the last
few days.  I had not been around anyone much but I had seen
even less of Avian than I had expected.  He would hardly even
look at me.  I realized then that he had been purposefully
avoiding me.  

“
Put this on,” Sarah said
as she rummaged through a bag of things.  What she thrust at
me was a mass of light green material.

“
What is this?” I asked,
holding it away from me, trying to figure out the answer to my
question.

“
A dress,” Sarah said with
a half-smile as she looked back at me.  She herself held
something similar, but in a red color.

“
A dress?” I questioned as
I held the folds up, looking through what must have been the top of
it.  “It looks more like a small tent.”

Sarah chuckled. 
“Here, let me help you.”

Despite my protests, Sarah
soon had me undressed and into the light green dress.  I felt
half naked.  While it was long enough to cover even my ankles,
the thin straps at the top of it felt like it would barely hold it
on my frame.  The front of it also plunged far lower than felt
right, exposing what even I felt embarrassed to see.

“
This seems so
ridiculous,” I said again as Sarah worked on my hair, twisting and
pulling at it. 

“
It’s part of being human,
of being a woman.  Or at least it used to be.  We’re all
clinging to anything we can.  Trying not to forget what it
used to be like.”

We were quiet for a while
as her fingers continued their swift work.  I wondered if the
fact that it had
never
been a part of my existence had crossed Sarah’s
mind.

“
Avian’s been strange
lately,” I suddenly said, recalling the cold way he had left
earlier.  “He’s been avoiding me.”

Sarah paused for a
moment.  She gave the slightest of sighs before
resuming.  “He saw you and West the other night.  He saw
your shadows through the tent.”

My breath caught in my
chest for a moment, a rock forming there.  “He was
watching?”

“
He went to talk to you,
to make sure you were alright.  He was worried because you
hadn’t come out all day.  That’s when he saw you and West
kissing.”

The knot in my chest
tightened, the feeling spreading down to my stomach.  I wanted
to run after Avian, to explain.  But what was there to
say?  West had kissed me, but I had kissed him back. 
More than that, I had liked it.  I had felt something and I
wasn’t sure I wanted to
stop
feeling.  But why did I feel so
guilty?

“
You deserve to be happy,
Eve,” Sarah said with another sigh, her hands falling into her lap
behind me.  “As much as anyone else here, maybe more after all
you’ve been through and done for us.  But be careful.  He
has feelings for you, even if he won’t be obvious about
them.”

I glanced back at Sarah,
having a hard time meeting her eyes for some reason.  Hadn’t I
really known all along?  Hadn’t it been so obvious?  The
necklace he had given me?  Our conversation about the prom,
the way we had held hands?  The way he had gathered me into
his arms upon my return with the syringes?  Of course Avian
had feelings for me.  And he had seen me with someone
else.

I shook my head as Sarah
shifted to sit beside me.  I closed my eyes and hugged my
arms.

“
Are you alright?” she
asked.

I shook my head. 
“What is happening to me?” I asked.  I suddenly felt like I
was splitting in two.  One part of me feeling like I needed to
console Avian, wanting to have the feeling of his hand in mine
again.  The other half wanting to run to West and grab hold
tight enough that I’d never have to let go.

“
You’ve got feelings for
both of them,” Sarah said softly.  Even though I wasn’t
looking at her I detected the small smile that was in the corner of
her lips.  “Love’s a complex emotion, isn’t it?”

“
Love?” I said, my brow
furrowing as I looked up at her.  “There is no place for love
in this world anymore.  The luxury of love died with the rest
of the world.”

“
If love dies, that’s when
we’ve all truly died.”

I didn’t know what to say
for a while, contemplating everything she had said.  “I don’t
want to hurt him,” I whispered.

“
I know,” Sarah said as
she wrapped her arms around me.  “But you have to do what
makes you happy.  Maybe West is what will make you
happy.”

I turned so that I was
facing her.  “Thank you, Sarah,” I said with a
half-smile.  “For all of this,” I said as I indicated the hair
and the dress. 

“
You look beautiful,”
Sarah said with a sly smile.  “West won’t be able to keep his
hands off of you!”

I just chuckled and rolled
my eyes at her.  “Come on,” I said as I stood and pulled her
up with me.  “Let’s get this over with.”

We sat down at the table,
surrounded by Morgan, Eli, Bill, and Wix.  Piles of food had
been placed on the table, a good chunk of our left over stores from
the previous fall’s harvest.  The elk I had killed earlier had
been prepared in every way I could think possible.  Gabriel
sat at the head of the long table, his family gathered around
him.  I had never seen him look so happy.  He deserved
it.

I glanced down the table
as I ate.  Avian sat near Gabriel’s family.  I noticed he
still wouldn’t look at me.  It made my insides feel strange
and not in a pleasant way.  I almost felt sick.  West was
seated at the middle of the table, next to Graye.  He on the
other hand kept glancing down at me, the barest hint of a smile
ever present on his face, the smile of a secret.  West’s
glances did other strange things to my insides, things that I kind
of liked.

“
I’d like to make a
toast,” Avian said halfway through the meal, standing up and
holding his glass.  “To Gabriel.  To the man who has
always kept us safe.  The man who has willingly led us, for
not having to be asked to do so.  To the man who has built
this place we call home.  To Gabriel.”

“
To Gabriel,” we
echoed.

As the meal came to a
close, an unfamiliar sound came from the head of the table. 
It was then that I noticed Wix had disappeared as well as a few
other people.  They were now the source of the noise I
heard.

“
What are those?” I asked
Sarah as I observed them.

“
Teresa is playing a
guitar,” Sarah said quietly to me.  “Thereon is playing a
drum.  And Wix is playing his violin.  He was something
of a child protégé when he was young, before the Fall.  He got
to play at all these world class venues and with famous
symphonies.”

I watched them as they
played.  The sounds were beautiful, but so foreign and strange
to me.  I knew nothing of music but something told me these
instruments were not normally played together.  Still, it was
the most beautiful thing I had heard.  It may as well have
been magic.

As people finished their
meals, they drifted to the sides of the table, and started doing
what I could only guess was dancing.  The tables were cleared
away and a bonfire was built in the middle of the clearing, the
dancers moving around the fire.

I stood to the side along
the tree line, watching how they moved.  At first it had
looked so strange, so silly.  But as I observed the way they
moved in time with the music I understood why they did it. 
There was something about the music that spoke to a place inside of
me.  Dancing was a way to let the body and the music
combine.

“
You look really beautiful
tonight,” a voice said from behind me.  I turned to see
Gabriel come to my side.

“
Thank you,” I said as my
eyes dropped to my bare feet.  “I feel so exposed.”

Gabriel chuckled, his lips
disappearing into the mass of his beard as they pressed
together.  “Not exactly what you’re used to.”

“
I’ve never worn a dress
before.”

“
It’s good for you. 
A reminder of what you really are.”  When I didn’t say
anything in response Gabriel filled it in. 
“Human.”

“
Thank you, Gabriel,” I
said quietly as I looked back down at my feet.  “Happy
birthday.”

He gave a chuckle and then
a sigh.  “I feel so old.”

“
That’s a good thing,” I
reminded him.  “Not too many get to feel old
anymore.”

Footsteps approached us
and we both looked up to see West coming to join us, his hands
stuffed in his pockets.

“
Happy birthday, Gabriel,”
he said.  “Eve,” he gave a nod in my direction.

“
Thank you.  Well,
I’d better get back to my party,” Gabriel said with a grin that got
lost in his beard again.  He wandered back into the
crowd.

West and I stood there for
a few moments, staring at the scene before us.  The fire, the
people dressed up, the music, and the laughter.  It was almost
as if the Fall had never happened.