Eden (16 page)

But in that case, we would
probably be inside a building, not under the stars.  There
would be a heater warming the room, not a billowing fire that
licked out at the night air.  I think I almost preferred it
this way.

“
You look beautiful,” West
finally broke the silence.

“
Thank you,” I said,
feeling heat rush to my cheeks, both from his compliment and at the
feeling of our shoulders brushing.  West slipped his hand out
of his pocket and his fingers intertwined with mine.

“
Would you dance with me,
Eve?” he said quietly as we both continued to watch the people move
before us.

A smile tried to break out
on my lips but I shook my head.  “I don’t know how.  I’ll
look ridiculous.”

He looked at me for a
moment, that look in his eyes that made my stomach do strange
quivers.  He took a step toward the woods, pulling me behind
him.

We didn’t go far, just
through the trees enough that no one would see us.  We stopped
where the trees met the sandy water’s edge. 

“
No one has to see you
dance,” he said quietly as we stood face to face.  We could
still faintly hear the music coming through the trees.  West
took one of my hands in his, wrapping his other hand around my
waist.  I placed my other hand on his shoulder since that
seemed like the right place to put it.  West pulled me closer
and I let my head settle on his chest as we just rocked side to
side in a small circle.

The sound of West’s heart
beating matched the slow rhythm of the music.  I closed my
eyes and let the symphony of it reach inside me and find the part
of me that was real, the human part.

“
So have you thought about
what I said?” he said quietly into my ear, his cheek resting on the
top of my head.  “I know you feel things.”

“
It’s so strange. 
I’ve never felt things like this before.  It’s overwhelming,”
I said quietly into the soft cloth of his shirt. 

“
Is it bad
though?”

I considered it for half a
moment and then shook my head.  “No,” I whispered.  I
didn’t tell him how it terrified me more than anything else had
terrified me though.  I’d been through a lot in my life and
developing feelings was the scariest thing I had ever
faced.

West slowed to a stop and
brought his hand to my chin.  Slowly he tipped my face up to
his, his eyes staring down at mine with intensity.  In that
moment, I thought I almost remembered them looking at me through a
window, younger and more innocent.  Almost.

“
I’m glad you don’t
remember,” he said in a low voice, his eyes turning darker. 
“Even if that means you don’t remember me.”

“
Good thing you found me
then,” I said. 

He tipped his head down
and his lips met mine, brushing them so softly they tingled with
anticipation as if they’d never touched at all.

“
What was that?” I hissed
as I whipped my head toward the tree line, stepping away from West
and into a stance ready to spring.  My ears strained,
listening for the sound of a branch breaking again.  I smelled
at the air, searching for signs of life that shouldn’t be
there.

I took a few steps into
the trees, West stepping quietly behind me.  “I didn’t hear
anything besides the party.”

“
Shh,” I hissed at him, my
eyes straining to see through the dark.  A figure stepped back
into the clearing at the exact same time someone else stepped
toward us.

“
Eve?” Sarah’s voice
called through the dark.  “Is that you?”

I sighed as I glanced back
at West who had a very annoying smile on his face.

“
A little paranoid?” he
said quietly.

“
Shut up,” I said as I
rolled my eyes and walked toward Sarah, trying to suppress the
smile that wanted to break through.

“
Eve!” Sarah called
excitedly as she saw me walking through the trees.  “The guys
are setting up a knife throwing contest.  The prize is
Terrif’s hunting knife.  He offered it since his eye sight is
getting too bad to do anything with it.  They were all hoping
you’d stay gone so they’d have a chance at winning.”

The smile did break onto
my face as I stepped back into the clearing and saw the target set
up across from where everyone was gathered.  As soon as Bill
and Graye saw me they groaned and threw up their hands in
surrender.

“
Come on, Sarah!” Graye
moaned.  “Why’d you have to go and tell her?  We might as
well not play!”

“
Settle down, boys,” I
said as I shook my head.  “Go ahead.  I’ll just
watch.”

Cheers erupted and the
energy turned to teasing Wix for taking up a blade to enter. 
He kept up with the banter though, pretending to be the toughest of
them all.

“
I’ll be back in a
minute,” West whispered into my ear.  He then started walking
in the direction of his tent.

Sarah caught my eye,
flashing a quick wink.

It was pretty comical,
watching Wix try and keep up with our best scouts in Eden.  I
had to respect him for trying though.  The kid wouldn’t be
bullied.

I looked up from my place
by the food tent and searched for Sarah.  I found her talking
to Morgan.  She glanced over at me and as she did I felt my
insides hollow out.  Her eyes were suddenly glazed-over
looking, her face going blank.  I bolted up from my seat and
was across the clearing in five bounding steps.  I caught her
just as she collapsed.

Sarah’s right arm flailed
wildly as I carefully lowered her to the ground.  Her eyes
stared blankly up at the night sky, her body thrashing
violently.

Everyone had been told of
Sarah’s newfound condition.  It had been necessary should she
be with someone and have a seizure.  But everyone still
gathered around her, watching in horror and with sad
expressions.  I suddenly wanted to tell all of them to get
away.  They didn’t need to see her like this.

“
Where’s Avian?” I asked
to no one in particular as Sarah’s arm batted against my right
shoulder.  I didn’t even feel it.

“
He went back to his tent
a while ago,” Morgan said as she crouched down next to us, Sarah’s
form starting to still.

“
Stay with her,” I
instructed.  Morgan sat next to me and pulled Sarah’s head
into her lap.  “I’ll go get him.”

I made my way through the
tents, seeing Avian’s in sight.  He had a lantern lit, his
shadow falling against the off-white canvas.  I stopped short
just ten feet away though when I noticed another shadow
inside.

“
Don’t think I don’t know
this isn’t normal,” Avian’s voice floated through the night
harshly.  “I know she’s too young, that I’m too old for
her.”

“
I don’t know what you
want me to say.”  I was surprised when it was West’s voice
that answered back.  “I respect you Avian.  But I know
how I feel.  I know what I want.  And I’m pretty sure Eve
feels the same way.”

Avian was quiet for a
moment and I could almost sense the hard look that was on his face,
see how he would rub his hand over his recently shaven head. 
“You don’t know her,” he said, his voice low.  “How would you
know how she feels, what she’s been through?  I’ve been there
for her every moment the last five years.  I took care of her
when we found her alone in the woods.  I watched her, knowing
what she was, knowing that even if she turned against us that I
wouldn’t be able to short her out. 

“
And it’s not like she’s
just some eighteen-year-old girl.  She’s never
had
a childhood. 
She’s never been a kid.  She’s been a leader her whole
life. 

“
So don’t try and tell me
what I already know and wish could be different.”

The tension inside the
tent billowed out in an almost tangible way.  When West spoke
again it was tight sounding, as if he was speaking through his
teeth.  “Don’t you
dare
say I wasn’t there for her.  I’ve known her
for as long as I can remember.  I watched everything she was
going through.  I begged my grandfather and father for years
to stop, to let her go.  She was my best friend, my only
friend.  After she disappeared, I hoped for years that she was
still alive.  It ripped me apart, not knowing what happened to
her.  I’ve never stopped looking, hoping, for those five
years.”

I stood there, feeling
ready to explode.  I wanted to run in there and tell them to
stop fighting.  I didn’t belong to either of them.  They
had no claim on me.  And yet the words they said, they settled
into a deep place inside of me, burrowing into every corner of
me.  I also just wanted to run into the dark and force it all
out, to go back to the way I was just a month earlier.  I felt
like I was about to be swallowed up by myself.

“
It’s just going to have
to be up to Eve,” Avian finally said quietly.  “We both know
that.” 

I saw West’s shadow
nod. 

I didn’t want to hear
anymore.  I didn’t want their words to make me feel
anymore.  I didn’t think I could handle any more of
it.

“
Avian,” I called,
shuffling my feet, trying to pretend to just be walking up. 
“Sarah needs you.”

There was a pause as they
looked at each other for a moment, and then Avian stepped
out. 

“
She had another seizure,”
I said quietly.  I almost felt like I was seeing a different
side to Avian.  He wasn’t just the man who had looked out for
me all my life.  He was the man who pretended like he would
destroy me if he had to, but would never be able to bring himself
to do it if I turned against them.  Did that mean he cared
more about me than he did Eden?

“
Where is she?” he asked
when I paused.

“
Still in the clearing,” I
finally managed.  “Morgan is taking care of her.”

He gave me a long look and
I could sense the things that surged inside of him.  A moment
later he started back toward the clearing.

I heard footsteps come up
behind me.  West’s hand slipped into mine, but I took a quick
step away, shaking it off.

“
I think I’m going to go
to bed now,” I said.  I didn’t even glance back as I walked
swiftly toward my tent.  My breath was coming in shallow
gasps.  My hands started shaking and my insides
quivered.  I wanted to turn it off.  Not feeling was
easier.

THIRTEEN

Without meaning to, West
was added to my avoidance pattern for the next few days.

I got my lunch and went to
sit at the edge of the lake to eat it.  I sat with my toes
dipped in the water, sweat dripping down my back, my pack becoming
damp through my threadbare shirt.  Summer had finally arrived
with full force.

My afternoon was free of
any duties and I wasn’t sure what to do with myself.  I almost
didn’t
want
to do
anything.  The heat made me feel sluggish and slowed
down.  Guess that was one thing I didn’t share with the
Fallen.  The sun certainly didn’t charge me in the same
way.  In a weird way, that felt like a triumph.

I deposited my pack into
my tent, always a nearly painful thing to do, and made my way to
the east side of the lake.  The trees hung over the lake in
this section, providing a lot of privacy.  I slipped out of my
sticky clothes, washed them quickly, then hung them out to
dry.  I jumped in, the cool water hitting my skin with a sharp
slap.  I gave a sigh as my head surfaced, pushing my hair out
of my face.  The sun was nearly blinding as it danced on the
surface of the water.

I set out for the west
side of the lake, taking long strokes that propelled me
forward.

As hard as I tried, I
couldn’t push Avian and West from my thoughts.  I found myself
craving their presence and yet dreading having to come face to face
with either of them.  I wanted that peace I had felt with
Avian’s hand in mine, to hear him breathing and just feel him
there.  And yet I wanted to feel alive in a way I never had
felt before when West kissed me, held me.

What was wrong with
me?  I was Eve.  I didn’t need to feel things like
this.  I wasn’t
supposed
to feel things like this!  Everything was
supposed to be blocked out.  I was just making my life more
complicated.

I reached the eastern
shore of the lake and turned back. 

I was nearly back to where
my clothes hung to dry when I felt something splash against me,
waves not created by my strokes.  I pulled up short, my head
popping out of the water at the same time Avian’s did.

“
Avian!” I gasped as my
hands automatically clamped around my chest.  “What are you
doing here?!”

“
Swimming!” he said in a
shocked tone.  “What are you doing here?”

“
Swimming!” I answered
back, turning my back to him.  The water was dark in this
section of the lake because of the shadowing of the trees, for
which I was immensely grateful.  We were still nearly ten
yards away from shore though.  I then noticed Avian’s clothes
hanging about twenty feet away from mine, dripping wet, just like
mine were.