Edge of the Past (22 page)

“It’s okay,” I choked out and rubbed her back. “I’m just so glad you’re safe.”

I had to speak to the officer, so I stood up straight but kept my arms around Liza’s shoulders. She locked her grip around my waist.

“Thank you so much for finding her,” I said.

“She’s a brave little girl.” The young man smiled. “She didn’t cry until I called her mother.”

Part of the heavy weight returned to my chest, and I gulped. “You talked to Elena?”

“When Liza said she’d been with her father’s fiancé, I asked if she had her dad’s phone number so I could confirm. She didn’t, but she had her mother’s.”

“Elena must’ve been hysterical.”

“She was very upset.” Officer Cager’s smile turned sympathetic. “I let her talk to Liza, so she could hear that she’s fine.”

That wasn’t going to lessen Elena’s fury with me. I could already hear her screaming at me that I wasn’t capable of taking care of a child.

“I can give you a ride so you don’t have to get back on the T,” Officer Cager said.

“That would be great,” I said. “Thank you.”

I picked up my wrinkled bag and climbed into the backseat of the police car with Liza. After I gave the officer my parents’ address, I turned to Liza whose sobs had simmered to sniffles.

“I got on the next train after yours because I thought you might get off at the next stop and wait for me,” I said.

“I remembered the big clock from the stop by your house, so I was gonna go there and wait for you, but then this lady with a baby sat next to me on the train, and she asked if I was by myself.” Liza wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “My mom always told me not to talk to strangers, but if I got lost I should ask another mommy for help, so I told the lady we lost each other and I was gonna meet you at the stop with the pretty clock and the building that looks like it’s in Germany, and she said I was on the wrong train.”

I smiled. “That’s good advice your mom gave you. And that lady was very nice to help you.”

“She told the driver I was lost, and he said the police were looking for me, and then Officer Cager came to the train and got me.”

“Sounds like he was right and you were very brave.” I squeezed her arm. “Next time we’re in the city, though, we’re gonna hold hands and stay together, no matter what, okay?”
If there is a next time.

Liza nodded briskly.

“I was really, really scared when I didn’t know where you were. You promise you won’t ever run off again?”

Her little head didn’t stop bobbing. “I promise.”

I gave her a hug, and she looked up at me with her big wet eyes. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

I hugged her again. Was this what being a parent felt like? I couldn’t have been any more terrified if Liza was my own child. Somehow, I didn’t think Elena would agree that I could identify with a parent’s feelings.

Officer Cager dropped us off at the house, and I quickly grabbed the items Mom had bought for me for the Worlds trip. My old books I wanted to find for Liza would have to wait. As much as I dreaded facing Elena, we needed to get home.

My phone rang shortly into the ride, and I took a breath before answering Sergei’s call.

“Hey, I’m sorry I hadn’t called you back yet,” I said. “I’m guessing you heard from Elena.”

“Is Liza okay?” His voice resonated deep with concern.

“Yeah, she’s fine. We’re on our way back now.”

“What exactly happened? Elena didn’t go into much detail.”

I recounted the harrowing incident from beginning to end, and Sergei said, “I wish I could thank the woman who helped her. You must’ve been going crazy when Liza was missing.”

The memory of my crippling fear washed over me, and my skin grew cold. “It was a horrible feeling.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Sergei said.

I let out a tiny laugh. No way was Elena going to feel sorry for me. I didn’t want to say that out loud with Liza listening from the backseat.

“I’m sorry I didn’t do something to prevent the situation,” I said.

“Kids do careless things. I don’t have much experience being a father, but as a coach I’ve been around enough kids to know we can’t stop every bad thing from happening.”

“I know, but if I would’ve just held her hand…“

“The important thing is Liza’s okay. That’s all that matters now.”

He was so understanding. He reminded me a lot of my dad in that way, and it was one of the reasons I knew he’d be a great father.

We talked for a few more minutes before I hung up and turned on one of the classical discs in my CD player. Soft piano concertos and string symphonies flowed into the car. Calming music was what I needed to prepare for Hurricane Elena.

****

“Liza!” Elena cried hoarsely from my front stoop. She embraced her daughter before she could walk through the door.

I moved past them into the foyer and set my things down on the stairs. Sergei took me into his arms, and I rested my weary head against his chest. I could’ve stayed there all day, but I let him go so he could welcome Liza inside. He gave her a long hug and made her promise not to have any more train adventures.

“Liza, you rest in bedroom and I stay few minutes with Sergei and Emily,” Elena said. “Then we finish to pack for tomorrow.”

Liza went into the guest bedroom, and Elena pulled the door shut. I trudged up the steps to the living room and sank into my favorite chair. It was old and soft and big enough for me to curl up and sleep in, which sounded so appealing after the morning I’d had. But I couldn’t relax with Elena stalking toward me.

“Do you know how it feel when police call you and ask if you are Liza’s mother?” she shouted as loud as she could with her strained voice. “To have moment when you do not know if she is hurt or worse?”

“Elena, stop.” Sergei stood next to her. “I told you this wasn’t Em’s fault.”

“She let Liza run onto train. She should watch her close in place like that.”

“I’m sorry,” I burst in. “I wish I would’ve done something diff–“

“You are sorry.” Elena’s shouting lowered. “Sorry do no good if Liza hurt or lost forever.”

I shrank against the chair and dipped my head. I couldn’t allow myself to cry. I had to stay calm, but all the emotions of the day were spinning inside me, ready to explode.

“Liza is fine,” Sergei said.

“But someone could take her. She is alone in big city with bad people and–“

“It was my fault!” Liza cried.

We all looked toward the stairs. None of us had noticed that Liza had appeared.

“Liza, go back to rest,” Elena commanded.

“I’m the one who ran onto the train!” she exclaimed through her tears.

“Please go downstairs,” Elena said with more force.

Liza stared at us a moment and then ran down the stairs, slamming the bedroom door behind her. I covered my mouth to muffle a cry, but I couldn’t halt the tears from moistening my eyes.

Sergei pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled a loud breath. “Lena, can we please just move on from this? It’s done, and it’s not going to happen again.”

“No, it not happen again because Liza not see Emily again,” Elena said. “Ever.”

I lowered my hand but was unable to speak. Sergei glared at Elena with confusion. “We’re getting married. Liza’s going to have to see Emily.”

“I do not trust her. I do not want her with my daughter.”

“
Our
daughter,” Sergei corrected her.

“I know what is best for her. I should not bring her here. We have good life in Russia, and we stay there, and you not see Liza because I do not want her with Emily.”

I found my voice and asked weakly, “What are you…“

“What are you saying?” Sergei finished for me. “That since I’ll be married to Emily, you’re going to keep Liza away from me?”

Elena wouldn’t look at me. She replied with a simple and powerful, “Yes.”

I bent over at the waist and put my head in my hands as I quivered with sobs. This was whirling so far out of control.
What have
I done? That stupid, stupid train!

“You’re being completely unreasonable,” Sergei said in a hard tone. “As Liza’s father I have the right to see her. I’ll get a lawyer if I have to.”

I raised my head to see Elena crossing her arms and shooting a dark look at Sergei. “You do not fight me. I have money and best lawyer. You do not win.”

“You sound like your father.”

Elena narrowed her eyes. “I protect my child.”

She marched out of the room, and Sergei slowly dropped onto the couch. He sat pale and dazed with his hands in a steeple position.

“She’ll back down once she cools off,” he said.

I looked at the stairs. Elena had left, but her anger still hovered all around me like an ominous cloud. The storm had definitely not passed.

“I don’t know about that,” I said in a rough whisper.

“She’s not thinking right now,” Sergei insisted.

I shook my head as another batch of tears choked me. “I’m so sorry. This is all because of me…”

“Listen to me.” Sergei jumped up and came over to kneel in front of me. He put both hands on my face. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and I’m not losing Liza. I’ll talk to her when we get to D.C. and she’s had time to realize she’s overreacting.”

It sounded so easy, but I didn’t have half the faith Sergei had. Elena hadn’t wanted me around Liza before, and the incident in Boston just confirmed her opinion of me. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at Sergei. This was really happening. He could lose Liza because of me. He could lose his daughter because of
me
.

Chapter Twenty-One

I removed the World Championships credential badge from around my neck and looked at my photo. I wore a forced smile just like the one I’d been giving everyone since I’d arrived in Washington D.C.

A large and enthusiastic crowd had gathered to watch the practices at the MCI Center. I stood at the entrance to the ice and scanned the arena, searching the many faces for Elena and Liza. Because they were staying at a different hotel, I hadn’t seen them since we’d parted ways at the airport the previous day. Liza hadn’t spoken to me during the trip from the Cape to D.C., and she wouldn’t even make eye contact with me. She probably hated me for being the reason she couldn’t stay in the U.S.

Sergei walked out from the backstage tunnel and stood beside me at the boards. I handed him my badge, and he looped it around his neck for safe-keeping while Chris and I practiced.

“Did you try calling Elena again?” I asked.

“Goes straight to voicemail,” he muttered before taking a sip of his coffee.

I rested my hands on the boards and bent my head.
Isn’t this what you wanted? For Elena and Liza to leave so you could have Sergei all to yourself?
I gripped the barrier, straining my fingers over the wood. No, I never wanted Sergei to be cut out of Liza’s life forever. Everything was so messed up.

“I can’t wait to get on the ice,” Chris said as he flanked my other side.

I kept my head down, trying to push away all thoughts of Elena and Liza. I had to get into my competitive zone. Even with Chris’s injury, we were still the favorites to win, and the chance to compete for a world championship on home soil didn’t come around often. We had a golden opportunity before us, and I couldn’t let my personal issues get in the way.

“Do you remember how to skate?” I asked Chris as I stood tall and rolled my neck.

“Ha. Very funny.”

The announcer declared the start of our practice session, so Chris and I led the three other couples in our group onto the ice. I took off at full speed, working my blades over the ice and getting a feel for the rink, but my movements lacked their usual energy. My legs felt like fifty-pound weights, and my knees didn’t have the softness I needed. Not sleeping much the past two nights and picking at my meals likely hadn’t helped.

Chris fell in step with me and took my hand, and we did crossovers in tandem, warming up for the difficult elements to come. As we turned the corner of the rink, two figures in the stands walking down the aisle caught my eye. Elena and Liza! Chris released my hand and skated ahead of me, and I twisted my neck to look behind me at the seats.

“Em!”

I turned in the direction of Chris’s voice just in time to see the German national champions barreling backward toward me. I gasped and ducked out of the way, dodging them at the last moment. They stared me down as they returned to their exercises, and Chris skated over and reached for my hand.

“Something interesting in the stands?” he asked.

“Huh? Oh, I saw Elena and Liza.”

“Is Elena still avoiding Sergei?”

“Yeah.” I glanced again at the spot where Elena and Liza had found seats. Liza was finally looking at me, and I wanted to wave but was afraid she wouldn’t return my gesture. I set my gaze straight ahead. “I shouldn’t be thinking about this right now.”

Chris nodded and squeezed my hand. “Let’s work.”

We’d practiced the triple twist and the lifts on the floor backstage, so we knew Chris had enough strength in his shoulder to handle those elements. Sergei had told us before the session not to push too hard in our on-ice work. We glided over to him for more detailed instruction, and he was staring into the crowd. He’d spotted Elena and Liza, too.

He set his attention on us, but his eyes didn’t hold the clarity and focus they normally had when he addressed us. He made his instructions brief, and Chris and I left him to run through sections of our short program. It had to kill Sergei to see Liza and not be able to go to her. And I was the reason.

The heaviness in my heart sapped even more of my energy, and as we practiced our jumping passes, I stumbled through most of them. I couldn’t get enough spring in my legs. Chris was having more success, and he’d been off the ice for weeks. My frustration level built, which only threw me off more.

Sergei fed me technique reminders every time I circled back to him at the boards, but as soon as I skated away from him, he looked at the stands again. His distracted behavior was distracting me, and I almost had another collision, that time with Claire and Brandon, our American teammates.