Edge of the Past (18 page)

“They went upstairs. They said they’d be back in a minute.”

Elena was probably trashing my coaching ability to Sergei. I stood and straightened the folds of Liza’s blanket. “Do you need anything? More juice?” I pointed to the half-empty glass on the coffee table.

“I’m okay.”

On my way up the stairs, I continued to remind myself to keep cool and collected. Then I reached the top floor and saw Sergei and Elena outside on the terrace. I squeezed my fingers around the handle of the glass door but didn’t move. It was bad enough seeing them alone in a special spot of Sergei’s and mine, but they were also standing closer together than necessary. Elena’s face was tilted upward as she listened to Sergei speak. He had her rapt attention.

I shoved the door open, and Sergei and Elena both turned in my direction. With a purposeful stride, I went toward Sergei, curled my arm around his waist, and planted a kiss near the corner of his mouth.

“Liza seems good,” I said, keeping my eyes on him.

“Yeah, she–“

“A hurt chin and concussion is not good,” Elena said, cutting off Sergei.

I couldn’t look at her because if I did, I was only going to say something that would play into her drama.

Sergei cleared his throat. “She handled everything so well. The doctor said she was an excellent patient.”

“Emily, I make clear to Liza you not teach her anything at rink ever again,” Elena said.

Slowly, I cast my eyes on her. “She told me. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Can you go down and check on her?” Sergei asked Elena.

She left without another word, and when Sergei and I were alone, I moved away from his side to the edge of the terrace. “You don’t agree with her, do you? About me helping Liza?”

“No, absolutely not. I trust you with Liza on the ice any time.”

“Did you tell Elena that? Is that what you were talking about?”

Sergei joined me along the patio railing. “She knows how I feel.”

I shifted to face the bay. The fading daylight made the water a dark shade of blue, and gray clouds blocked any shine from the moon. That time of year, the beach sat silent and untouched – no evening barbecues or couples spread out on blankets. I liked the quietness. I longed for more of it.

Turning to Sergei, I said, “I’m trying my hardest to make this work.”

He eased me into his arms and rested his forehead against mine. “I know, and I love you so much for it.”

I pulled Sergei closer, pressing my cheek to his chest. He wrapped his arms snug around me, and I held on tight to the moment of peaceful solitude. Lately, those moments were too few and too far between.

Chapter Seventeen

I tied the last of the pink balloons to the banister and scooted down the stairs. The sweet, sugary smell of birthday cake overpowered the kitchen and adjacent den. Elena fussed with the favors on the table, rearranging the miniature gift bags I’d set out earlier. Of course, she wanted them her way.

I opened a pack of napkins that matched the pink and white cake and placed them on the table in the middle of Elena’s shuffling. She stopped maneuvering for a moment and said, “Thank you for giving Liza’s party here.”

Since she’d spoken only a few words to me since Liza’s accident, Elena’s cordial tone shocked me. “You’re welcome,” I sputtered.

Elena stepped back from the table and appraised the new setup. “She not have good birthday last year. My cousins pass away one week before.”

“Oh, wow,” I whispered. “I didn’t realize it happened so close to her birthday.”

“I want this to be happy night for her.”

“Definitely.” I nodded. Were we actually having a civil conversation? I should try to engage Elena further and warm the Arctic air between us.

“Liza seems to be very resilient,” I said. “You obviously did a great job helping her deal with her grief.”

Elena smoothed a tiny wrinkle in the paper tablecloth. “She cry every night for months and months. I do not know what I do for her. She love to read, so I buy her
The Secret Garden
book and we read together every night. It help take her mind away, and she finally sleep better.”

I felt a hint of warmth as Elena spoke softly and not in the rigid manner I’d grown accustomed to hearing. I had to latch onto it and keep her talking.

“I read that book when I was young,” I said. “Since the little girl in the story lost her parents, too, I can see why Liza would feel connected to it.”

“I read it with her to help her see life get better. I think she understand.”

Sergei and Liza came down from the living room, breaking up the strangely thoughtful chat. Elena took to fussing with Liza’s hair while Liza chattered about her party guests. Her normally long, straight locks had been curled into bouncy waves, held away from her face with a pale pink headband. She was fidgeting with excitement, and I thought about how awful her last birthday must’ve been. I hoped the fun she’d have today would make those memories fade.

“Emily, can you take photo of three of us and cake?” Elena asked as she retrieved her camera from the bar.

I swallowed the sourness in my throat.
You have to get used to this.
With a smile, I accepted the camera from Elena.

Sergei brushed his hand over the small of my back and took a few uncertain steps to the table. Liza and Elena also moved into place behind the cake with Liza awkwardly positioning herself between her parents.

I raised the small digital camera and framed the three of them on the screen. Now all smiling, they looked like the perfect family – two gorgeous parents and their beautiful daughter who’d inherited their most striking features.

My finger shook as I snapped the photo, creating the family’s first portrait. I quickly handed the camera to Elena, and Liza asked, “Can I get one with Emily?”

Elena’s smile disappeared, but she complied. The doorbell rang, and Sergei jogged up the stairs while Liza and I posed with one arm around each other. Sergei made several trips to the door during the next twenty minutes as the guests arrived – a few girls who’d befriended Liza at the rink plus Courtney, Chris, and Marley. A pile of colorful gift bags and shiny wrapped boxes formed in the corner of the den.

Liza and the other girls sat on the rug in the den with jewelry-making kits, crafting necklaces and bracelets, while my friends and I gathered in the kitchen. Elena hovered near the girls, and Sergei kept busy in the den, fixing a problem with his camera.

Chris grabbed a carrot stick from the snack tray on the bar and bumped my arm. “When are we gonna play Pin the Tail on the Donkey or Red Light/Green Light?”

I laughed. “Liza’s nine, not five.”

“That jewelry kit looks like fun,” Marley said. “I need to get one of those.”

“You can squeeze in there with the kids if you want.” I smiled.

“I might do that.” She laughed and hopped off her stool.

Chris stole Marley’s seat and rested his elbow on the bar. “So, you’re gonna be a stepmom to a teenager in a few years.”

On my opposite side, Aubrey said, “You can be a cool stepmom, like Julia Roberts in that movie with Susan Sarandon.”

“Considering how uncool I was as a teenager, I don’t know how useful I’ll be in giving advice,” I said.

“With the tight leash Elena has Liza on, I doubt she’ll be dating before she’s eighteen. You may not need to worry about boy problems,” Aubrey said.

My head hurt thinking about the moody pre-adolescent years to come. Liza might start tugging hard against Elena’s tight leash. I’d seen kids at the rink turn from sweet little girls to bratty pre-teens in a flash. I rubbed my neck, forcing my thoughts back to the present. There was enough to worry about in the immediate future without stressing over events years down the road.

We continued to snack and watch the girls entertain themselves until Elena announced it was time for Liza to open the gifts. Soon, instead of being surrounded by beads and baubles, Liza was elbow-deep in tissue paper and discarded wrapping.

With two presents left in the stack, Liza opened the small box from Sergei and gasped at the silver charm bracelet inside. It held one dangling aquamarine jewel, Liza’s birthstone.

“I thought you could put your skate charm from the festival on it, too,” Sergei said.

“Thank you,” Liza said, still wide-eyed.

The last gift in the pile was mine, and Liza grinned when she read the card. She tore away the paper and squealed as she lifted the bathing suit from the box. “I’ve never had a bikini!”

Elena had stooped behind Liza to pick up the mess, and her mouth set into a stern line, a look I’d seen from Mom when she didn’t approve of something. I couldn’t imagine what Elena’s issue was unless she was just annoyed Liza loved my present.

All the girls admired the suit as Liza slipped on the pink sunglasses. She shot me a big smile, and Sergei snapped a photo with his camera.

After everyone stuffed themselves with cake – everyone except those of us training for Worlds – the guests cleared out, and I started cleaning the kitchen. Liza ran upstairs and returned with her skate charm, which she hooked onto the bracelet. Elena helped her clasp it around her wrist, and Liza bounced over to Sergei, who bent to get a closer look.

“It’s so pretty,” she said.

“It’ll be our special bracelet,” Sergei said. “Every time we do something fun together, we’ll add another charm.”

Liza blinked a few times and then put her arms around Sergei’s shoulders. My heart turned to mush as Sergei’s eyes glistened. He shut them and embraced Liza harder.

When they broke apart, Sergei said, “We’ll have to find a charm for our whale-watching trip tomorrow.”

I put my head down to resume wiping the counter, and Elena quietly slipped into the kitchen. “May we speak in living room?”

Is this going to be about the look she gave me earlier?
I ditched the paper towel into the trash can and trailed Elena up the stairs. She stood in the center of the room with her arms folded.

“Liza is too young to wear bikini. It is not appropriate for girl her age.”

A combination of humiliation and anger burned my scalp. I should’ve been accustomed to Elena’s lectures, but they still scratched at every one of my nerves.

“They sell them in the children’s department,” I said.

“It does not mean it is okay.” Elena let out long breath through her nose. “You are young. You do not know what is good for child.”

I crossed my arms, mimicking her stance. “Nothing I do is going to meet your approval, is it?”

“I know what is best for Liza, and I do not want you to teach her different.”

“Would you prefer I ignore her and have her think I don’t care at all?”

“I prefer you not…” Elena’s forehead creased as she stammered to find the right word. “Influence her.”

“Because I’m such a horrible role model?” I snapped, my voice rising.

“Because you are young and not ready to be mother.”

I threw my hands up in the air. “I don’t expect to be Mother of the Year! I’m learning as I go here, and you’re not making it any easier.”

Elena further stiffened her rigid posture. “No one make anything easy for me.”

“So, I shouldn’t expect you to lighten up on me any time soon. Is that what you’re saying?”

“I worry only about Liza.”

The glacial air had returned, chilling me down to my core. Elena and I remained locked in a reciprocal glare until I turned toward the stairs.

“I’m done with this,” I muttered.

I clomped down to the kitchen, where I snatched the dirty serving platter and threw it into the sink. The clang of metal on stainless steel caused Sergei and Liza to look up from the books they were examining.

“Sorry,” I said.

Sergei’s eyes lingered on me with concern, and I let my hair fall around my face as I bent to wash the tray. Elena returned and asked Liza to bring the rest of her gifts into the guest bedroom, so Sergei came into the kitchen and stood against the sink with me.

“What happened?” he asked.

I sloshed soap and water over the tray and scrubbed a spot that had been on the silver for years. “Just another lecture from Elena. I don’t know why it even bothers me anymore,” I said through gritted teeth.

“What was she lecturing you about?”

“My gift was apparently inappropriate for a nine-year-old.”

“What?” He sounded just as surprised as I’d been.

I lifted my head, tossing my hair away from my face. “It’s always going to be something. I thought when Elena and I talked earlier that maybe we’d had a little breakthrough, but we’re right back where we’ve always been.”

Sergei passed his hand over his mouth and chin. “I’ll talk to her.”

“No!” I said more forcefully than I’d intended. “It’s not going to change anything, so just… don’t bring it up.”

“I want to do something…” he said.

I shut off the water and stared up at Sergei. “There’s one thing you could do. Come with me to the Vineyard tomorrow. Let’s get away from all this for a day.”

The conflict in his eyes didn’t give me much confidence in a positive response, so I inched closer to him and put a soapy hand on his forearm. “Please?”

He looked too pained to answer. Finally, he said, “Liza’s so excited about tomorrow. I’d hate to disappoint her.”

I turned back to the sink. “But you’ll disappoint me.”

“Em, come on. That’s not fair.”

“None of this is fair,” I said.

He was quiet, and I clenched the dishrag, whitening my knuckles. I started scrubbing again and Sergei stopped me, his hand on mine.

“Come back to my apartment with me. We can be alone for the rest of the night.”

Sergei stroked my skin under the warm water, and part of me ached for more of his silky touch. The other part of me stomped those stirrings, not wanting to give in so easily. The stubborn side won.

“I have to get up early for the ferry,” I said, pulling my hand away.

Sergei stayed at my side, watching me rinse dishes but not saying anything. When I didn’t speak either, he slowly retreated from the kitchen, not even giving me a goodnight kiss.

I wrung out my frustration with the towel and slumped over the counter. Making a bad situation worse had become my new specialty.