Educating Esmé (18 page)

16. Take baby steps toward changing student behaviors.
When you encounter children who aren't good at controlling their impulses, use “successive approximations toward the goal,” which is teacher talk for “you've got to crawl before you can walk.” If a behavior is repetitive and disruptive, discuss it with the child, who may not even be aware of it, and create a manageable and specific goal to be met within a limited period of time (“Let's see if you can stay in your seat all through math class”). Then tape a small piece of paper with a grid on it to the child's desk; cheerful “incentive charts” are sold at teacher's supply stores, or you can make your own. For every five, ten, or fifteen minutes that the child meets the goal, go over and stamp the paper (or use a sticker or hole punch). No verbal exchange is necessary. Once the child can do it for one lesson, can he do it for two? For an hour? Half day? For the day? For a couple of days? Eventually, the charts will be abandoned, and a new behavior will be established. Be tender about setbacks; the child is likely as frustrated as you are. By starting out with reasonable goals, though, you are set up to create success and confidence about self-control in the long run.

17. Show your love through high expectations.
Some children come from terrible circumstances, have holes in their prior knowledge, or struggle with Herculean learning
differences. They may have lots of excuses, some very viable, for why work is unfinished or why they are otherwise behind. As a new teacher, you will naturally feel the desire to be liked by your students, and you will want to show empathy and gain their trust; making accommodations to match their explanations seems like a natural means to those ends. It is important, however, to be sensitive to these situations without being enabling; otherwise the children will begin to confuse their situation with their potential. There may be many good reasons why the world says “they can't,” but as soon as
you
say “they can't,” you have just punctuated the end of their pedagogical possibilities with a dreary period. Just as is the case with modifying behavior, high academic expectations doesn't mean making things hard for kids; it means setting them up to succeed by breaking tasks into manageable pieces. Once you have done your part, anticipate that with practice and diligence, they can and will meet whatever challenges stand in the way of that success.

18. Mind your behind.
“CYA” is the universal teacher code for “cover your ass.” You are going to get in trouble by accident at some juncture, that's the nature of the beast, but there are a few basics to keep you out of teacher stew:

• Keep your hands off the kids. This is actually not terrifically realistic, especially in the primary grades
when the children gather around for hugs, but know that it is the expectation from an administrative point of view, and certainly, no corporal punishment is allowed.

• Don't ever be alone with one child. Keep your door open, and always have another adult or at least another student present. This is a good idea for all teachers but especially imperative for men, who are perpetually vulnerable to suspicion.

• Don't ever leave your class alone, even if the children are well behaved. Let the office or a teaching neighbor know if you need to be excused in an emergency. Smoking and coffee are not emergencies.

• Keep detailed, dated records of behavioral problems.

• Keep detailed, dated records of any communications with parents and administration. Carbon-duplicate notepads are available at teacher supply stores.

• Document incidences of student misbehavior and samples of work that suggest possible special needs so you can make referrals when necessary.

•Stick to individual educational plans that have been established for children with learning, emotional, or behavioral problems and differences.

• Keep parents apprised of the child's progress, and attempt to make contact if there are any precipitous changes; there should be no surprises at report card pickup.

• Report suspected child abuse and neglect to administration (preferably in writing) and to the appropriate state agency.

• Keep an accurate attendance book and grade book, and an up-to-date lesson plan book. Keep student records confidential.

• Keep student safety paramount. You should know where your students are at all times.

• Don't smoke or drink at school, and don't buy drugs from the seventh graders.

• Don't interrupt instruction to conduct personal calls on your cell phone.

• Post emergency procedures where they can be easily seen.

• Have a union representative present when you anticipate a serious conversation with administration, and have administration present when you anticipate a serious conversation with parents.

•Try to de-escalate problems directly with co-workers before complaining to administration, and don't say anything behind the back of anyone in the building that you wouldn't be willing to say to his or her face. Duplicity, gossip, and tattling will invariably bite you in the behind. As one principal I worked for sagely advised the staff about verbal unkindness: “You'll have an easier time getting toothpaste back in the tube than you will have putting words back in your mouth.”

• Children usually think teachers are playing favorites; don't give them any legitimate reasons to believe it.

• On field trips, bring back the same number of children that you took. Preferably from the same school.

• Last but not least, if you insist upon making up funny names for yourself and then ask the children to refer to you that way, you might find yourself in some hot water. So bring the bubble bath.

There, that should do it. Shouldn't it?
Shouldn't
it?

19. Make school an oasis.
It's helpful for teachers to know when children have had a death or illness in the family, when there is a divorce, when living situations change
drastically, or when there are environments of abuse or poverty. These impact learning. But be aware that it is sometimes an especially loving thing to let children come to school and escape difficulties they experience at home. You don't have any say-so over when Daddy gets paroled, and Mommy's drinking problem isn't something a teacher's influence usually can sway. Keep hold of the bigger picture, and encourage the children to do the same. If children are perpetually reminded of difficulties at home while at school, they can lose focus and self-esteem, and then they may fail to gain the skills they need to live a different sort of life when they grow up. Sometimes new teachers become caught up in the drama of a child's life, but they must be careful not to overreach, imagining that their concern is in any way a substitute for counseling and services that a family may need. If you know a child is having serious problems, offer to be a listening ear, research and offer resources to the family, and report to authorities as the law may require. Don't ever underestimate the power of simply giving a child a nice day to look forward to as both a great temporary salve and a contribution to a long-term cure.

20. Say “I don't know.”
As a self-contained classroom teacher, you may teach more than half a dozen subjects, and it is very unlikely that anyone would be masterful at all of them. When you can't model being an expert, model
being a learner. When a child asks a question that you don't know the answer to, admit that you don't know or that you aren't sure, and model the process of finding out. Whip out a dictionary, look something up online, or ask for help from others (including students). If it is not something you can address at that moment, write the question down and make a point of getting back to the child, sharing how you found the information as well as the answer.

“I don't know” is also a healthy response in professional situations. Though as a new teacher you are eager to show your proficiency, there can be professionalism in admitting when you need help to get the job done. Ask experienced teachers how to perform tasks correctly and efficiently. In meetings and in exchanges with administration, it is also all right and prudent to say, “I don't know,” and “I'm not sure,” and ask if you can give the issue a little more thought. This may go against your personality; teachers tend to want to give the right answer, to be the ones who know. The old adage says, “The wisest man is one who knows there is much he does not know.” True dat.

21. Be consistent.
Any fantasy you may have about a successful teaching experience is invisibly anchored to classroom management skills. The best behaviors you may have observed, such as children seeming to know what to do without much direction, or children listening respectfully
to you and to each other, or children fully engaged in an activity to the point that they lose track of time or don't want it to end, all have been hard-won by the teacher at some point by virtue of experience and consistency. Consistency is the holy grail of classroom management. It means you do what you say and you say what you mean, you mean the same thing on Tuesday as you do on Thursday, and you mean the same thing for Johnny as you do for Janey. It means you are fair and constant and that people around you know what to expect. It means, “This is the way we do things around here.” Sometimes adults think that consistency limits children's freedom and creativity, but consistency isn't synonymous with inflexibility. Rather, you are not renegotiating the rules and procedures to the point that it impedes your ability to make the most of the time that you share together. It can actually afford more time for creativity and concentration on tasks that you and the children deem important.

You can start by articulating rules, procedures, and consequences early on. In fact, these should be well established and communicated by the end of the first week. The trick is sticking to them! Sometimes teachers don't follow up with a consequence or they let children explain extenuating circumstances at length in an effort to be nice or fair. Well, there is nothing nice about it, because, in fact, what you have said to a child is, “When I say something, I don't
mean it; it all depends on my mood and how fast you can talk.” In which case, everything you say afterward will be suspect. For example, if you suggest that you are going to make things better for them, or that they are intelligent, or that they are not in danger, this, too, may be suspect, and children may resort to defense mechanisms to protect themselves. Inconsistent teachers make for very scary classrooms, and I mean that quite literally. Children have to be able to believe everything you say in order to feel safe.

At some point every teacher feels the loathing that comes from having to deliver a consequence that was promised but that he or she doesn't really want to deliver. You may have established “No recess, if . . .” and then, after they test those limits, you are stuck with them in the classroom all recess when you needed that break to do something else. You may have been looking forward to a classroom party or a field trip even more than they have. With experience, you will learn to say only what you mean, toning the extremity of your “if/then” statements down a few notches. You will learn to take a breath even in the heat of the moment and look a few steps ahead. There may also be occasions when you realize that, for whatever reason, you have gone overboard, in which case you can apologize and temper a consequence to be more reasonable. If you've been consistent all along, this should feel like a governor's reprieve, rare
enough to elicit gratefulness from the children, but not an expectation.

Over the years, I have found that three simple classroom rules cover all the bases: “looking” (at the person whose turn it is to speak), “listening” (to the teacher or whoever has been called on to speak), and “consideration” (which means we go out of our way not to drive each other crazy). When you ask children to make up rules, they usually start with “don't” statements, because they hear a lot of “don'ts,” and it's so exciting to be able to say “don't” to someone else for a change that they can hardly contain themselves. “Don't chew gum.” (This falls under consideration.) “No talking.” (This falls under listening.) “Don't kick your neighbor's chair.” (Consideration again.) A lot of teacher-training programs advise that children be part of creating classroom rules, that it makes them more invested. While I see the rationale in this approach, in practice I haven't seen that much difference in the investment. If you are in the role of delivering consequences, especially as a new teacher, it is very important that
you
are invested in the rules so you are more likely to be consistent. If you want to include children in the process of developing boundaries, a more meaningful conversation to have with children has to do with rights and responsibilities. As a teacher, you have the right to change seating arrangements. You have the right to give directions without having to talk over other people's
voices. Students have the right to know what's coming next in their day, to be included in games on the playground, to make up work when they have been sick, to be able to hear what the teacher is saying. Rights and responsibilities are an ongoing conversation. I think kids, like adults, just want to know what's allowed and what's not, and to feel that the boundaries are reasonable.

The challenges of classroom management have delivered a knock-out punch to many a well-meaning new teacher, but if you can stay in the ring, in time you will not rely on the excessive negative consequences that are the mark of a reactionary novice trying to manage a large or unruly group. Instead, you will become expert at setting a climate of expectation and camaraderie that is livable and humane, delivering on the promise of positive outcomes for positive behaviors, operating on students' intrinsic motivations, and creating consensus or group meetings to solve problems. In the long run, as a consistent teacher, you'll find yourself held in esteem not because the kids were able to control you but because you helped them to control themselves.