Eighty and Out (13 page)

When Jeannie announced she was pregnant, everything changed. After some raised eyebrows and unspoken questions about the timing of the baby, my parents warmed to the idea of becoming grandparents, and the ugly business of how Chuck and Jeannie had snuck off to get married became a thing of the past.

Mom invited Chuck to dinner for the first time and asked Jim and me to come along. She said she wanted it to be a whole family celebration, but I also imagine she wanted everyone there so it would be less uncomfortable. That was fine by me, because I was more than happy for life to return to normal.

We all sat around the table.

“How’s the car?” Chuck asked Dad.

“Runs like a charm,” he answered.

There was a long awkward silence. Dad broke it not with accusations or judgment about Chuck and Jeannie but with a moment of levity.

“But if I have any troubles, I know where to go.” He smiled politely at Chuck, and Chuck nodded.

“How are things going at the factory?” Jim asked Jeannie. “You think you’ll stay on until the end, or…”

Jeannie finished chewing her food and blotted her face with a napkin. “I think I’ll stay for a few more months, until I’m too big to sit and sew for that many hours.”

“Yeah. I would think that would be uncomfortable,” Jim added.

Instead of silently stuffing his face like most men did, Jim went out of his way to create conversation, making the night a lot less awkward. On the way over, we had decided it was best not to talk about Vietnam, and thankfully, Mom and Dad managed to avoid the topic as well.

After more tension-relieving light banter, Chuck went outside with Jim to admire his car, and Dad sat on the sofa keeping Jeannie company. Mom and I retreated to the kitchen to do dishes.

“Do you think it’s a girl or a boy?” Mom asked as she handed me a plate to dry.

“I don’t know. But I think she’d prefer a girl. She thinks they’re easier to raise.”

Mom gave me a look that refuted the statement and continued scrubbing the glass she had in her hand. After a few minutes of silence, she said, “Seems like Jeannie got pregnant right away, huh?”

“Yeah, some people have all the luck,” I said.

She turned to me. “Don’t worry. It will happen to you, too.”

I managed a small smile. It was easy to say “don’t worry” when you had kids and weren’t the one trying to get pregnant. Still, I knew her intentions were good.

“How’s Jim’s dad been?” Mom asked, changing the subject.

“The same. Likes to stay busy and keeps to himself.” Mom and Dad thought it was odd he didn’t date anyone. A few years had passed since his divorce, and most men wouldn’t just be dating, they’d be remarried by then. Jim’s dad spent all his time working.

“Well…your father knows someone who’s just been through a divorce, too. She’s a nice lady.”

“I’ll mention it to Jim on the way home.”

So I did. Jim’s response was to giggle.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“I’m picturing my dad’s face when I tell him your parents are playing matchmaker. He’ll look like he’s just eaten broken glass, then he’ll say what he always says, that women are the devil.”

I pictured his dad’s face all screwed up and laughed, too. “Seriously, though. He can’t feel that way about everyone.”

Jim turned onto our street. “I assure you, he does. Mom really broke his heart. And I don’t think he’s going to take a chance on anyone else. Least of all someone we suggest.” He parked the car and pulled the keys from the ignition. “If he meets someone, it has to happen on its own.”

After giving it some thought, I decided I wouldn’t like to go on a blind date, even if I hadn’t gone through a nasty divorce. Jim was right. If it happened, it would have to happen on its own.

Later on, as I watched Jim go through the mail, I wondered if he’d ever talk to his mom again. The few times I’d brought it up, he said he didn’t want to discuss her, so I stopped mentioning it.

I spoke to Bernice right before the holidays. She had been hoping to come home for Christmas, but it was just too expensive. “I’ll see you on summer break. Jeannie will have had the baby by then, right?”

“Right.” Bernice and I hadn’t been in touch as often as we used to, but with Bernice it didn’t matter how much time had passed. We always picked up right where we had left off.

“Mom thinks it’s going to be a boy since she’s carrying low. What do you think?” I asked.

“I think that’s an old wives’ tale,” she scoffed.

“Probably. But enough about Jeannie. How’s school? How’s Alejandro?”

“School is hard. There’s so much homework. And I only see Alejandro on the weekends.”

“So every week you can’t wait until Friday, am I right?’ I asked, giggling.

“It’s all I think about when I’m not studying. And sometimes when I am,” she said. “I’m ready to go all the way and get it over with already, just so I can think straight.”

“Maybe it would help your grade point average,” I joked.

Bernice cracked up. “It probably would.”

After we hung up, I realized I forgot to tell her about my new business cards. I reached for my purse, pulled one out of the ornate silver case I had them stored in, and smiled. I’d have to send one with her Christmas card.

*****

The first few months of 1963 were filled with running Jeannie to doctor appointments, shopping for the baby with my mom, and helping Jeannie and Chuck find a place to live. Jim had suggested a unit at the second building since it was close to Chuck’s work, and after looking the place over, they accepted.

“We can afford to give them a decent discount,” Jim said, and when he saw how happy the news made me, leaned in and kissed me on the forehead. “I think you should use your clout at the furniture store for the interior, too.”

“I’ll have to see what they want to spend first.” Jeannie had stopped working at the factory, but they had managed to save money while living at Chuck’s dad’s house, so I wasn’t worried.

“I’m sure they’re in good hands,” he added, patting me on the behind as I got up to leave.

Mom, Jeannie, and I had finished shopping and were relaxing at my place when Jeannie’s water broke.

“I’ll call Chuck,” Mom said, rushing to the phone.

Chaos ensued, with Mom and I rushing to and fro, and Jeannie looking horrified.

“I’m so sorry. I can’t believe this happened on the sofa,” she said.

“It’s just fabric. It’ll clean,” I assured her, reaching for her arm to help her up. I heard Chuck’s car, and a moment later he burst through the door, looking frantic.

Jeannie and Chuck sped off, and I gave Jim a call. He said he’d pick us up as soon as he was finished with his appointment.

Mom paced back and forth, biting her nails. I did the same thing in the opposite direction, realizing I must have picked up the habit from her. Jim showed up not long afterward, and we drove to the hospital.

A nurse directed us when we arrived, and I saw Chuck in the waiting area.

“How is she?” I asked him.

Just then I heard Jeannie shriek in pain from behind closed doors.

“It’s been like that for the last twenty minutes,” he said. His face was sheet white.

“Are you doing okay?” I asked.

Chuck exhaled loudly. “I’ve been through unspeakable things, but it’s different when it’s someone you love hurting.”

“I understand.” I wished I could say something to comfort him.

Mom poked her head in the room to get a glimpse of Jeannie, and as she did, Jeannie let out a blood-curdling scream that echoed down the hall.

Chuck stiffened. He looked like he was about to snap.

“Have you eaten anything?” Jim asked.

“No,” he replied, his voice tight.

“You want to go across the street and grab some food? If Jeannie has the baby while were gone, Lou will come and get us. If not, we’ll still have enjoyed a hot meal.”

Chuck appeared to consider his offer. And as he weighed the pros and cons, trying to make a decision, the doctor came out.

Everyone turned to him, breathless.

The doctor reached for Chuck’s hand and shook it.

“Congratulations,” the doctor said. “You are the proud father of a baby girl.”

Being a new mother proved a challenge for Jeannie. She was overwhelmed and exhausted, so I stopped by often to do what I could to help her out. One day, after I’d finished making a casserole for their dinner, I stood behind Jeannie and began brushing her hair.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Jeannie said, glancing at Lisa sleeping in her crib.

“She sure is.” Jeannie stared into the distance. Worry lines creased her forehead.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’m just feeling a little guilty.” She turned to face me. “Our baby is so precious, you know, but I can’t help but think… that she’s not really ours.”

Jeannie had crossed paths with Tad a few times since the breakup. The first time, he had been a gentleman and wished her happiness in her new life with Chuck. On the second run in, when it was apparent she was pregnant, he had congratulated her and told her she’d make a wonderful mother. Each time she saw him, she felt worse. And now that Lisa was born, it seemed to bother her even more.

“She is yours,” I said. “You made a decision to follow your heart. And you have to learn to live with that decision.”

Jeannie locked eyes with me, seeming to realize for the first time it would weigh on her conscience for the rest of her life, and wordlessly nodded acceptance.

Lisa stirred in her crib, grabbing our attention. Jeannie went over and picked her up, smiling and making cooing sounds, her prior worries forgotten.

For the moment.

*****

Summer approached, and I couldn’t wait for Bernice to come home. I gave her a call, anxious to catch up.

“The baby’s doing great,” I reported. “Jeannie’s getting the swing of things and doesn’t need help anymore.”

“That’s good to hear.”

She didn’t sound as excited as I thought she’d be. She was quiet for a bit, then said, “I’ve got some good news and I’ve got some bad news.”

“What’s the bad news?” I asked.

“I’m not coming back to Chicago this summer.”

“What? How come?”

“Because I’m getting married!” she squealed. “What do you say, Lou? Will you be my maid of honor?’

I was at a loss for words. “Of course!” I answered once the shock wore off. “Of course I will. This is such great news!”

“You won’t believe how he asked me. It was so romantic.”

“Tell me,” I demanded.

There was a clattering sound, and Bernice returned, laughing. “Sorry. The phone slipped out of my hand.” Bernice exhaled. “We were hiking in the mountains, and he said he wanted to show me something, a special spot, he’d said. So we continued up to a ridge with a scenic overlook. It was so beautiful, it took my breath away. I was just about to tell him how pretty it was when he reached for my hand, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him.”

“Wow! I’ll bet that really took your breath away. It’s so romantic. Like a chapter in your uncle’s book.”

“I know,” she replied, giddy with excitement.

I marked the wedding date in my calendar, and we discussed bridesmaid dresses and shoes, both of which she said she’d order locally after getting my measurements.

“Juan is going to be the best man. So you’ll be standing up together,” she said.

I was happy I’d finally get to meet her neighbor and soon to be brother-in-law. “Let me talk to Jim and we’ll either get airline tickets or drive. I can’t wait!”

We chatted a little while longer, then hung up. Afterward, I sat on the sofa and felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Bernice had gone to school out west, and now she was getting married to a man that had said he would never leave New Mexico.

That could mean only one thing: I had just lost my best friend.

I went to the bathroom and filled the tub. As I soaked in the hot water, tears flowed. I thought of all the fun times Bernice and I had growing up and found it hard to believe we wouldn’t be able to see each other from now on. I pictured her living out west, married to a man who lived on a ranch with horses and smiled. I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather have living my childhood dream than Bernice.

When Jim got home, I told him the good news.

He hugged me. “Are you all right?” he asked.

“I will be,” I said, not wanting to let him go.

Jim rubbed my back. “Let’s go out to dinner tonight. Why don’t you put on a nice dress, and we’ll try out someplace new. I’ll put the food you made in the fridge, and we’ll eat it tomorrow.”

“Okay,” I said, kissing him on the cheek. I went to my closet. There was a fancy frock I’d regretted buying because I didn’t think I’d wear it often enough. I put it on and touched up my hair and make-up.

Half way through our meal and bottle of wine, Jim gazed at me, glassy-eyed. “We should drive to New Mexico. Make a sightseeing trip of it. What do you think?”

“Sounds good to me,” I grinned.

I had never told him about my dream to live out west because I didn’t want him to think the life he’d given me was lacking in any way. The truth was he had provided everything I had ever wanted, and I couldn’t be happier.

“I’ll have to buy a new suit,” he said. “And have Chuck tune up the car before we leave.”

Jim was more than capable of working on his own car, but faithfully took it to Chuck ever since he became family. As we shared dessert, I felt thankful that my husband was as thoughtful as he was smart.

And even though I’d miss Bernice, I was glad we both had gotten lucky in love.

*****

A week before the wedding, Jim’s dad came down with pneumonia. He had a high fever, and Jim was concerned about leaving him.

“I can’t believe this is happening right now,” Jim said, clearly torn. “I hate to say this, but I don’t think I should go with you.”

I felt terrible leaving when his dad was so ill, but I couldn’t miss Bernice’s wedding.

Jim rubbed his chin, thinking. “Here’s what we’re going to do,” he finally said. “I’m going to stay behind with my dad, and you’re going to fly to New Mexico.”

I’d never been on a plane before, and the idea of flying alone terrified me.

“Don’t worry,” he said after seeing my reaction. “Flying is safe. And I’ll make sure to mention it’s your first time in the air so you get special attention.”

“Okay.” I nodded, still scared.

Jim grabbed the phone book and found the number to call and book the flight. Once he had finished, I called Bernice and let her know of the change of plans.

“I’m sorry to hear about your father-in-law,” she said. “Horrible timing.”

“I know.”

“Let me check my schedule,” she said. I heard her flipping the pages of her calendar. “Looks like I’ve got a final dress fitting the time your flight arrives. Would you mind if I sent Juan to pick you up?”

Great. First I had to soar through the sky cross country without my husband, then a stranger would pick me up at the airport and take me to Bernice’s, all while I worried about my ailing father-in-law.

“No. I don’t mind,” I said unconvincingly. “But how will he know who I am?”

“Good question.” Bernice thought about it for a bit. “I know. I’ll show him your picture. And just so you know it’s him, I’ll have him holding a sign with your name on it.”

I didn’t like the plan but didn’t want to be difficult. “Are you sure he won’t mind?”

“I’m positive. In fact, he’ll probably think it’s fun.”

“If you say so,” I said. How someone could think waiting for someone they didn’t know while holding a sign could be fun I didn’t know, but I kept that thought to myself.

“And how about my dress? It’s ready, right?” I asked.

“Ready and waiting.”

“And you got the check I sent?”

“I got the check and everything’s all set,” Bernice said.

“Okay, then. See you soon.”

I laughed to myself. I was frazzled, and I wasn’t the one getting married. Bernice, on the other hand, was unruffled; her wedding just another piece in the puzzle of her life falling into place.