Electrified (25 page)

He stood up and bent over, holding out his hand for Sienna’s, then he paused and allowed her to lead him down the hall to her room, where she’d never brought a man.

When Carson got to the threshold, he stopped for a moment and pulled her close, searching for clues, gauging her feelings, making sure she wasn’t second-guessing asking him to her bedroom. He smoothed her hair, massaging her temple with his thumb, and delved deep into what felt like her mind, body, and soul to be sure she was truly okay with this decision.

W
HAT THE
fuck am I doing?
I should be through her bedroom door and deep inside her already, Carson thought. Balls deep inside her, yet here I am staring at her and checking in, making sure she’s okay with moving forward.

Since Carson picked Sienna up at the club, his plans to get inside her and get her the hell out of his system were out the window. Rational thinking had left the building, and he knew one thing for sure—this was bad. Not bad in the sense that he was finally going to take his time and savor the woman who had been the one and only focus of his fantasies for weeks, but not good because he wasn’t a get-involved type.

But there was such a difference between the Sienna who roamed the club making guys practically cream in their pants, and the Sienna who showed up at the back door waiting for him. The fantasy Sienna was just that. A fantasy.

This Sienna was a whole different kind of dream. The real Sienna was passionate and hesitant all at the same time. She had such flavor for fantasy and all things sexual onstage, yet she had this innocence in real life when she was stripped of the glittery thongs.

Fucking Christ.

He wanted her in the worst possible way, but also wanted it to be good for her. He didn’t want it to ever end for him. He should stop, leave, go back east and never look back, but he knew as sure as his dick was rock hard, he couldn’t do that.

With a quick glance at her face, taking the time to massage her temple, touching the smoothness of her hair, and checking in, he moved toward the bed. He set her down gently, even though his instinct was to take her hard and fast.

Her hair fanned out around her on the pillow as he laid her down, a blanket of soft, silky golden locks that he wanted to rub all over his body. She was a sight. He pulled off her yoga pants, revealing nothing underneath. Just beautiful, soft skin still shimmering from her special lotion, and between her legs, where she was completely waxed smooth, glowed with wetness for him.

Carson knew her core would be tight and would invariably hold him captive. Not just his dick, but his mind. He wanted in there, to stay, but first he wanted a taste. The way Sienna stared up at him with starry blue eyes, he got the sense this was a new experience for her.

He liked that, but he couldn’t understand it. She was a stripper. He had to keep reminding himself of that fact. She seemed so real, vibrant, and alive in the moment, as if everything was fresh to her.

For the second time in minutes, Carson had to drag himself away from his contradicting thoughts and focus on what was in front of him. Sienna naked, glistening everywhere, and ready for him.

He left his pants on and lay down next to her, massaging her breast with one hand, the other turning her head toward him for a kiss. He didn’t kiss her for long. He couldn’t wait. He swirled his tongue one last time in her mouth, pulling the softest, most feminine moan from her before breaking away.

His other hand, which had been back to softly rounding her nipple, moved down between her thighs where his mouth wanted to be, soaking in the wetness he craved to taste. He slowly lowered himself that way. Peeking up at Sienna, he saw that her head was tilted back against the pillow, her eyes closed, and fuck, she was stunning like that.

She was completely open to him, and somehow he had become entirely convinced she’d never done this before. After the other night and her earth-shattering orgasm, he knew he must be right. This was all brand spanking new to her, and it was his to own. He felt a primal need to roar, as if he were some fucking king of the jungle, but suppressed it.

Carson finally landed where he’d wanted to be all night, between her legs. His dick throbbed inside his jeans, but it was worth it. He’d never wanted to savor something so badly. He pressed his mouth to her, and immediately another soft moan escaped from above on the pillow.

He kissed and lapped her skin at a leisurely pace at first, allowing his tongue long licks and time to linger on her most sensitive bundle of nerves, learning his way around what made her squirm more. Sienna’s soft moans turned into something altogether more husky, and had his cock throbbing.

Finally, picking up speed and staying focused on her hottest area, he slipped his finger inside her, finding just the right pace and spot. Within seconds, Sienna was writhing underneath him.

It absolutely was a first for her. No denying it. The way she let go with reckless abandon, the flush that spread across her entire body, he couldn’t help but feel the newness of all this for Sienna.

He didn’t let up until she calmed, allowing all the little tremors to flow through her body while he softly caressed her with his tongue through all the aftershocks. He wanted this to be the best first ever.

Carson shifted his body back up to meet her face to face. He nuzzled her neck, pressing small kisses around her ear while gently pushing his hardness against her. His jeans were strangling him, but he needed to know she wanted him before he took the next leap.

“I want you so bad, Sienna.” He paused, breathing deep and steady, and waited for her response.

He suspected she might retreat into her brain for a minute while weighing the pros and cons, but she surprised him by saying, “I’ve never felt so good. I want you, too. Now.” She was so firm in her choice, she didn’t even flinch a muscle.

Carson didn’t need any more convincing. He reached down and pulled his jeans off. Sienna looked so fucking inviting, lying there on the bed, flushed from her orgasm, he was ready to delve right in, but he forced himself to stop and fish protection out of his pants pocket. He tore his boxer briefs off, slid the condom on, and was slowly sliding inside her before anything could change.

He angled over her body with one arm holding his weight up on the bed, the other gripping Sienna’s hip, giving him purchase to rock deep inside her. His thumb moved across a long scar, hidden in the sparkles of her body lotion, but he rubbed it a few times to make certain it was there. The detective in him wondered what it was from, but the man in him won over his thoughts. He could do nothing but think about how he was sliding in and out of the best woman he’d ever had.

Something was immediately clear—there was no way one time with this woman was going to cure him of his Sienna addiction.

After slowly settling inside her, he steadied his mind, wanting to make this good for her and not come too soon. Problem was, he was so fucking taken with her, he couldn’t even think of a topic to take his mind off her. He felt her arm slip behind his head, drawing him in for a kiss and further into the moment. She wasn’t even turned off by her taste all over his mouth. She wanted everything that was happening with a fervor he had never experienced with a woman before Sienna.

He shifted his weight a little, pushing deep, quickening his pace, and Sienna’s leg wrapped around his ass.

“Oh God,” she said in a breathy voice.

“Is this good, Sienna? You fucking feel amazing,” he whispered along her neck.

“More than good,” she said, and then moaned again. He pushed deeper.

Her foot dug into his ass as he kept sliding in and out of her. His hand traveled south, spending a little time on the side of her breast, finally landing in between them, where they were joined. Feeling himself going in and out of her only ratcheted his desire, if that was even possible. His finger found her most sensitive spot and swirled around it, leaving her panting and breathless.

With one more swift pass and press of his finger, Sienna came. She came hard and the vibrations of her clenching his dick traveled all the way up his spine, causing him to release right with her. He stayed deep, allowing her waves to subside, letting her milk him for everything he had.

After begrudgingly pulling out and removing the condom, Carson settled right beside Sienna, one leg lightly resting over hers while he smoothed her hair behind her ear. They were silent.

Carson could feel her uncertainty surfacing, her anxiety over what just happened. He didn’t know what to say to make it go away. This was uncharted territory for him. He did good times, drinks, and sex. He had no idea how to comfort and reassure in bed.

So he said, “You all right?” when what he really wanted to ask was if it was good for her. He wanted to take away her fears and tell her that he quite possibly wanted to do this for a long time. But he didn’t.

First, he had no idea where those thoughts were coming from, and second, he had no idea how make those words come out of his mouth.

“Yes, I’m fine,” she replied. “Thank you for being gentle with me. It was clear you knew how new this type of thing was to me. I’m kind of embarrassed, but it was so decadent.” She hid her head in the pillow.

“Don’t be.” He lingered with his fingers in her blonde locks and allowed her to hide, desperately trying to figure out how to wrap this whole thing up, despite wanting to pull her tight against him and stay there for days.

He had to leave before he was stuck. Not just physically stuck, but mentally.

Cocksucker
.

Then she let him off the hook. Pulling her face out of the pillow, she looked at him with softened yet unsure eyes and said, “I’ve never had anyone sleep over, and I don’t feel comfortable with it. Let’s say good night. I’m going to shower and go to bed.”

That was it. She dismissed him. His stripper—who was anything but experienced when it came to intimacy, which he liked a lot—was asking him to leave after sex.

He didn’t even have to try to slip out. She gave him an easy out, and although it was what he thought he wanted, Carson suddenly realized he really didn’t fucking like that. Not one damn bit.

“I understand,” he answered nonetheless, and slowly moved to get up.

Not being able to control what happened next, he asked, “Can we see each other tomorrow? I know you work, but a late lunch or coffee?” Somehow, he didn’t want to ask for a nightcap and have this just be about sex.

“I have to help a little early at the club tomorrow. We have a VIP party coming in, and I have to make sure the girls are all set. Perhaps a quick coffee, but honestly, I don’t want this to be about guilt over what just happened. I’m a big girl.”

Carson tilted his head to the side, trying to understand and make sense of where this sudden change in personality was coming from. “That’s not what this is about. I’d like to get together, have coffee, talk. I could pick you up around three and then drop you off at the club, so you wouldn’t have to take the town car.”

Shit, I’m eager to spend time with her and prove her wrong.

“Okay,” was all she said in response.

He wasn’t going to argue. As he finished putting on his pants and shirt, he said, “It’s a plan,” then leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her lips. He tasted like her, smelled like the two of them, and he was leaving when all he wanted to do was stay.

Fuck, what’s wrong with me? Go!

Sienna got up and wrapped herself in a robe, then walked him to the door. With weariness in her eyes, she said good-bye, then locked the door behind him.

A
FTER SAYING
good night to Carson, Sienna wasn’t in the mood for her usual nightly bath. She didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts bubbling in her head. Despite desperately wanting to keep his scent all over her body and hair, she showered like she said she was going to when he left. As the water poured down from the rain head, she could only think one thought: My first time with a man who actually cared about pleasing me, and I ask him to go.

She had no other choice but to ask him to leave; she was going to drown in emotion if she didn’t. It was one thing to be made love to gently for the first time at twenty-eight years old, it was another to sleep next to the man involved and keep her emotions at bay.

It would be undeniably impossible to keep her feelings wrapped up nice and neat if he stayed, lingered in her bed, whispering sweet nothings and false promises, and then fell asleep next to her. This was the same reason why Sienna begrudgingly washed their mixed scents off her in a hot shower and slipped into a fresh robe. She needed fewer reminders of all that she wanted in life, yet couldn’t begin to allow herself to have. All that was Carson.

She couldn’t bring herself to change her sheets, so when she climbed back into bed, it smelled like Carson and her orgasm intermingled with his. She couldn’t help but to breathe deeply everywhere she could. She wrapped herself tight around her pillows, sheets, and blanket, chasing her drug of choice, inhaling deeply of every last scent of Carson and the two of them together from her bed.

Then she cried. She cried for her first orgasm while making love to a man and how beautiful it was. She shed tears for the only time she was with a man who took his time with her, wanted to make her feel good and loved, even though she knew that wasn’t what this was about.

She called what happened making love because she couldn’t bring herself to call it fucking. Sienna wasn’t sure whether Carson thought it was fucking, but she couldn’t tarnish her memories. In her mind, she wanted to put what just happened on a pedestal and leave it there forever.

Yet another reason why Carson had to leave. If he stayed, she risked not being able to remember this special night, and she wanted desperately to memorize it. She needed to save it, bank it away for a cold and lonely night.

What made her cry even harder was the thought of living a life devoid of love, romance, and spending her days with someone to hold her. She might never have any of that, but she had this night. A night where she felt everything there was to feel at its greatest heights. A night where she felt safe and warm, adored, and satiated in the best way.