Electrified (26 page)

This evening also stood as a reminder of what she was missing, what she had to give up when she ran from all she ever knew. More tears began to flow for the partner, the forever someone, that she would never call her own.

As her sobs began to lessen, Sienna forced herself not to think about what she had to live without, and concentrated on how she was going to stay alive. She would keep this delicious memory with her, but she had to run again. Having to leave the small little cocoon she’d created for herself in Vegas with a few friends, a career, money, and a house was almost enough to break her, but she loved life too much. She also adored her new family, and with this crazy Sam guy chasing her around, she couldn’t risk any of them getting hurt. Who knew what Sam Charles was really up to?

The idea of saying good-bye to Asher, Petal, and Mike made her cry the biggest and hardest tears. Did she owe them the truth? Could they take it? Would they want to make it right with Elon and expose her?

Finally exhausted, Sienna cried herself to sleep.

Friday

W
HEN
S
IENNA
woke up the next day puffy-eyed, she wanted someone to talk to. She didn’t want to lie there by herself and cry some more. She really only had two choices, Asher or Petal. After interrupting Asher and Natalie earlier in the week, she chose Petal.

Within a half hour of her text, Petal let herself into Sienna’s place and crawled into bed with her, holding a mug of warm chamomile tea.

How had their roles become reversed? Sienna was supposed to be the one mentoring Petal, yet she was so inexperienced in relationships, she had to turn to someone younger for comfort.

Petal smoothed Sienna’s hair, and all that did was make her think of Carson’s soft touch, the way he caressed her hair behind her ear the night before, and how she’d washed his smell off her whole body and shampooed it out of her hair.

Soon Sienna was crying again, and Petal kept repeating, “Shh, don’t cry.” After a few minutes of letting her tears run their course, Petal asked, “What happened, Sie? Did someone hurt you?”

Oh God, Sienna thought to herself. She couldn’t deal with anyone thinking Carson hurt her. She straightened up and firmly said, “No, nobody hurt me.”

Then she sighed and fell back into the pillows. “Actually, the opposite. This someone, Carson, made me feel so good, and I’ve never had that before, ever. Isn’t that so sad?”

Once she started opening up, she couldn’t stop. After wrapping herself back in her Carson-scented comforter, she said, “He treated me so delicately, and took his time making me feel things I never felt before. Like never, Petal. It felt like he cared for me, more than just the stripper he was smitten with. I never had any of that in my life. Then I asked him to leave. I didn’t want him to stay. I was so scared of getting even more attached in one night, if that’s possible. Is that normal? Ugh, I know it’s not. I’m not normal. I’m a sex symbol who doesn’t know how to spend a night with a man.”

Petal listened. Somehow she knew Sienna needed a friend to hear her out, which was probably why she approached Petal instead of Asher. Being a man, Asher would have tried to fix everything, and she just needed to talk, cry, and talk some more. After an hour of quietly listening to Sienna unburden herself about the night before, Petal encouraged her to take a bubble bath with some cold compresses on her eyes.

After helping her get settled, Petal stayed in the bathroom with Sienna. With her eyes covered with cold cucumber slices and her body submerged in bubbles, it made Petal’s next statement a lot easier for Sienna to digest.

“I know you didn’t come from an easy life to Vegas, Sienna, and if you don’t want to go into details, well, I get that, too. But how is it that you, someone so kind and giving, was never given anything good? Why is this the first time you felt something decent from a man? There’s something wrong in and of itself with that. You not only deserve good, you should have better than good. Do you understand?” With her eyes fixed on Sienna, her friend waited for an answer.

“I understand what you mean,” Sienna murmured from the tub, “and I know that I should allow myself to have the sweet part of life, but I just can’t. A long time ago, I had the worst of the worst. I don’t want to talk about it. Even though I want it all right now, I can’t have it. My life is a whole lot of wants that aren’t possible, my past won’t allow it. That’s all I can say.”

Petal sighed. “Look, we all come from checkered pasts, Sie. Like I said, I’m not going to pressure you. I’d never do that. Just know that you more so than anyone, it’s only fair you get a good life. You take care of all of us at the club. You need to give in to yourself one day and go after what you deserve.”

Sienna looked away. “Petal, I love you, and one day I want to explain it all to you, but right now, this is all whatever this is can be with Carson, a memory of the best night of my life. We’re going to have coffee this afternoon, and then he’ll go back on assignment wherever he should be. And that’s it.” She released a long sigh that almost sounded like a whimper, then closed her eyes before sinking further into the bubbles.

“I’m not going to argue with you,” Petal said softly, “and I’ll support you in all your choices, whether I think they’re crazy or not. I love you, too, and one day, I hope you’ll confide in me so we can figure out how to make sure you get it all.” She brought her hand to Sienna’s forehead and pushed a few loose hairs back before placing a single kiss on her forehead. Then, to give Sienna some space, she was sure, she moved to the makeup table and started looking through Sienna’s lip glosses.

With that, Sienna knew she had to change the subject to something less invasive than her past. She could only hold it in for so long, and the way her emotions were going up and down and around like a roller coaster, she was close to breaking down and spilling everything. She needed to move on to safer territory.

She opened her eyes and reached for a towel, then slipped out of the tub and dried off. While she dressed in loungewear, she said, “Thanks, love. I’m feeling better after talking with you, and the bath. Now tell me all about the bachelor party coming in tonight. How many men? Rooms? Which girls are working the party?”

She laughed about how much money Petal said she expected to make that night. Her “little sis” shot right back with reminding Sienna to eat, get dressed pretty, and be ready for coffee.

Petal didn’t wait for Sienna to come back with any arguments. She left Sienna to her thoughts after mentioning the coffee date.

A
T PRECISELY
three o’clock, Sienna heard a knock on her door and knew it was Carson. Steeling against flinging herself into his arms, she smoothed the front of her midnight-blue cashmere sweater, making sure it lay flat against her skinny jeans, brushed a lock of hair from her face, since it was down and set in light waves, and opened the door. Carson looked his normal casual, masculine self, dressed in a gray thermal pullover pushed up to his elbows, worn-in jeans, heavy boots, his black hair mussed up, and his little dimple in his cheek.

Under other circumstances, they would look like the perfect yuppie couple heading out on a brisk Vegas winter day. Sienna wanted to run her finger along Carson’s ear where his hair was slightly turning gray and curling up, obviously still wet and fresh from a shower. She was dying to reach up and kiss him intimately and whisper hello in his ear, something she always dreamed about doing when her husband came home, but they weren’t the idyllic yuppie pair. They were a stripper and her fan from out of town.

Instead, she clasped her hands behind her back, and said hi sheepishly.

“Hi to you. How was your morning?” He moved confidently through the door.

“Good. Relaxing, actually.” She wasn’t going to tell him about her meltdown.

“Nice. I kind of hoped you were going to say you counted the minutes until you saw me again,” he teased. “Are you ready to go, or do you need some time?” He then stepped in to brush a kiss across her lips.

A lump formed in her throat over the night before and asking him to leave. Did he not mind at all?

“I’m ready, let me grab my tote. Oh, wait, I have to text Mike and tell him I don’t need a ride to the club tonight.”

Carson waited for Sienna. When she was ready to leave, he held the door for her to leave her house and walked her to the car with his hand on the small of her back. Even with it being the third time he did this, she was already burning with desire by the time she got in the passenger seat. She wondered how she had ever walked without his hand there.

When they started down the driveway, Carson asked if she might like to go to the bakery and coffee place inside the new hotel on the Strip, or back to Canyon Coffee.

“You mentioned you never get to venture to the Strip for fun stuff, so I thought it would be a change of pace,” he said as he glanced at her, selling her on the idea with an ear-to-ear grin.

Considering this dating thing was all new to her, she’d never been on a date to the Strip. She had a ball cap in her tote and she was wearing her giant white sunglasses, so why the hell not?

“That works, as long as you don’t mind me putting on my hat.”

“I only mind because I love looking at you with your hair flowing all around, but I guess it will have to do,” Carson said jokingly.

It was entirely too comfortable between the two of them. She thought she’d feel awkward after the night before, but with one look and a single smile, Carson had put her completely at ease. Even the elephant in the car—their night spent apart when it could have been spent together—had now dissipated into thin air.

Most women would think this was great, but not Sienna. This being so at ease with Carson was bad, really bad, because with her defenses down, she was going to get attached and run the risk of slipping up with her story. She had already revealed far too much to Petal earlier today.

As much as she tried to rein herself in, she couldn’t. She was too happy and enjoying herself for the first time in her entire life. Was this what happened when you had an orgasm? Did everything else stop mattering and all worries fell into the abyss?

The pair made small talk on their way to the Strip. Sienna pointed out a few hotels and fun facts as they drove to the new mega hotel/casino. As they pulled up front, Sienna put on her cap and pulled it low before she got out of the car when the valet opened up the door.

“Sienna Flower! Welcome to the Palace on the Strip,” the parking attendant said in what was meant to be a whisper, but came out much louder. So much for the disguise.

A manager who had been chatting with guests nearby looked up in fear when he realized the young valet’s mistake and came over to apologize. Unfortunately, the valet had already caused a stir with the local paparazzi camped out at the hotel, and a few of them ran over to Sienna, bombarding her with questions about the club, her private life, and what brought her to the Palace.

This is what an orgasm gets me.

Sienna felt Carson’s hand on her back again and heard him saying, “Move along. Miss Flower is out on a personal errand. She’s not taking questions.” His firm tone combined with his imposing six-foot-plus frame convinced them to move away. Carson continued to escort Sienna into the hotel as if he were one of the bouncers from the club.

As soon as they went through the double doors, a VIP host was there to greet them, apologizing for the misunderstanding at the valet.

Carson stated matter-of-factly, “We were going to have coffee and something to eat at Le Mirage Bakery. Perhaps there’s a private room where we can enjoy something from there?” He held his posture straight and rigid, letting his eyes roam the casino lobby before coming right back to bore down on the host.

“Yes. How about we set you up in a private gaming room and bring you a menu from Le Mirage?”

“Good, lead the way,” Carson said tersely.

Sienna felt like she should apologize. She leaned close and said, “Sorry, Carson. We should’ve just stuck with the coffee place by my house.”

“Don’t you dare apologize. That valet had no right to shout your name and alert those photographers. At least now I get to see you with your hair down.” He set her at ease with one of his sexy winks.

Sienna gave him a small smile in response. She hoped no one was tweeting that she was on the Strip; she really wanted a quiet afternoon without crazy fans. On a good note, this always made for extra-heavy crowds at the club when she was spotted. All the chatter made even more people want to see her live. Asher would be pissed she was on the Strip without letting him know, but the Tunnel would benefit.

Finally, the host opened the door to a private gaming room, where Carson pulled out a chair at a small table by the observation window, then pulled open the heavy drapes so she could look out. A waiter rushed in with menus for Le Mirage, and opened a bottle of sparkling water for the couple. They took a minute and ordered coffee and pastries, then were left to their own devices.

Sienna took in the man-made beauty outside the window, her eyes wandering over the neighboring hotels and their opulent, perhaps ostentatious, displays. Taken with the water shooting into the air from the fountain directly across from their window seat, the stillness of the room caught up with her, and she suddenly felt nervous. Should she bring up last night? As it turned out, she didn’t have to.