Element, Part 1 (12 page)

“What? I didn’t say you were nerdy.”

“You don’t have to. I know I am.” She picked at the light
pink nail polish on her nails.

“Well, I don’t think you are. In fact, I thought you looked
cute and sexy… wearing your glasses and your hair up in a ponytail the day I
met you.”

He felt her wrap her fingers over his. Judging by her
reaction, it told him he said the right things.

She let out a slight laugh.  “Sexy? Really? So I shouldn’t
wear my hair down and my contacts any longer?”

He looked at her. The wind continued to blow through her
hair causing strands to stick to her glossy lips. He kept one eye on the road
and the other watching her peel each strand away. Man, she was sexy and far
from nerdy in his opinion.

“No… I mean you’re beautiful with your hair down and no
glasses.” He searched for the right words, feeling like a nerd himself.

“It’s okay. I know what you’re saying. I guess that’s what I
like about you.”

“What, that I’m a rambling idiot?”

“No, you’re not an idiot. I like that you’re funny,
considerate, honest, smart, handsome, and…”

“And?” Ryan glided his thumb back and forth against the top
of her hand. He could caress her smooth creamy skin all day and night if she
let him.

She pushed a part of her hair back behind her ear and held
onto it, winding it around her fingers. “You’re sexy.” 

He burst out laughing. “Sexy? I don’t think so.”

She let out a giggle. “I do. I think you look sexy in a
cowboy hat and jeans.”

“I’ll be sure to wear them next time.” He winked and
squeezed her hand. It flattered him to hear compliments from her. He worked
hard to stay in shape and he took pride in taking care of his body. More than
anything, it was nice to have a girl that didn’t focus on herself constantly.
That’s what made Natalie even more attractive to him.

He turned onto a long and winding two-way road. Trees
stretched over the road from both sides, as though locking branches with one
another. It created a lush canopy of thick foliage that extended for at least a
mile. He had been down this road many times, but for the first time, it felt
cozy and romantic. Maybe because he had Natalie next to him, changing the mood
completely.

“Can I ask where we’re going?” She continued looking around,
her eyes darting around from side to side.

He wanted to surprise her but based on her actions he
thought it best to tell her.

“When you told me you had never been to Lake Travis, I
thought you might like to see it.”

“Oh… the lake.” Natalie’s hand went limp. He noticed her
shifting back and forth in her seat. 

“Is something wrong?” He wanted to take her to a romantic
and memorable place and wondered if he’d made the right decision.

She squeezed her eyes shut before finally speaking. “Yeah, I’m
okay,” she mumbled.

“Are you sure? You’re not dizzy again are you?”

Natalie glanced over at him. “No. It’s not that.” She paused
for a minute. “The last time I went to a lake it was to clear my head.” She turned
away and let out a small sigh.

He heard the pain behind that sigh. Obviously the lake
brought back some hurtful memories. He didn’t want to pry and decided he would
allow her to open up to him when she was ready. Damn, he couldn’t win for
losing.

“I can turn around, if you want.”

She shook her head. “No, I’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I want to see Lake Travis.”

The gravel crackled and popped as he drove up to the area
leading to the lake. He pulled up to a boat ramp and stopped. The setting sun painted
the sky with streaks of orange and purple. It made the water glisten like gold
and out of all the times he had been there, he had never seen such a breath
taking site.

He didn’t want to let go of Natalie’s hand but needed to put
the truck in park. He gave her hand a deep squeeze and let go. He felt her
latch on, apparently not wanting him to let go either. Slowly, she released her
hand from his.

“So this is what you wanted to show me?” Natalie took off
her seat belt and leaned forward, looking out the front windshield.

“Yeah, it reminds me of summer vacations with my family when
I was a kid.  I know it’s no beach, but it’s the closest thing we have here in
Austin.” He waited to turn off the truck, still not convinced that she wanted
to be there. 

“It’s beautiful. The water looks so inviting. I may have to
jump in.”

He noticed a change in her face. Maybe she would be okay
after all. “People come out here to get certified for scuba diving. Do you
wanna take a walk?”

Natalie nodded. “Sure, why not.”

He let out a sigh of relief and opened his truck door. He
came around and opened the door for her. He stuck out his hand, helping her get
out of the truck.  When she didn’t let go of his hand, Ryan didn’t hesitate to
interlock his fingers with hers. They walked down to the water, holding hands.
It felt good to be next to her; natural and right, in so many ways.

“Wow, there’s sand.” Natalie dug her shoes into the brown,
sand-like dirt.

“I know. That’s why I like coming out here so much. Feels
like I’m at the beach.”

“Just a minute, I don’t want to get my shoes wet.” She bent
over and removed her sandals before the water reached them. She held on to them
by the straps, allowing them to dangle from her fingers. “What about you?”

He glanced down at his boat shoes. “Nah, I get these wet all
the time.”

Something caught his eye as the water splashed over Natalie’s
feet. He had to take another look. For a split second, he thought he saw her legs
and feet liquefy into water. The structure of them remained solid but they were
clear, like the lake. He shut his eyes tightly and shook his head.

“I can’t believe the water is so clear, almost like the
ocean. Hey, are you okay?” Natalie pulled at his arm. Her grip tightened and
she shook him a couple times. “Ryan.”

“Yeah?” He opened his eyes and blinked a few times. He
looked back down and saw they were normal. His eyes had to be playing tricks on
him. He figured the anxiety building up inside of him caused it, since he still
needed to have that talk with her.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I was just thinking that we should come out
here during the day. Ya know, go swimming or rent a boat.”

“Yeah, that sounds like fun.” Natalie smiled at him but he
could see the doubt in her eyes.

“C’mon, let’s walk down this way.” He motioned with his
head.

He led her down the sandy shoreline holding her hand. A cool
breeze blew off the calm water, not at all typical for an evening in May. Out
in the distance, he spotted a few boats and saw a couple of people dotted along
the beach area on the other side of the lake. He figured there would be more
people at the lake because of the nice weather but they were practically alone.

Natalie gazed out into the horizon. “It’s a beautiful
sunset. I’m glad you brought me here.” 

“I’m glad you like it.”

Her lightly tanned skin shimmered in the setting sun’s rays
and her hair flowed freely in the breeze. She looked radiant, almost Goddess
like in her white dress. Then again, Natalie looked good in anything she wore.

Even though she excited him, she also calmed him. She put
him at ease and he felt his heart surrendering to her. Never did he imagine
falling for the quiet sophomore he knew back in high school. Her beauty
mesmerized him and he nearly forgot that he needed to have that heart to heart
honest conversation with her. There were so many ways to do this wrong. He had
to do it right. He had to be completely honest and open with her.

With his shoe, he smoothed out the sand, thinking of the
right words to say.  “Natalie… I don’t want to step out of line again, but the
feelings I have for you are beyond controllable.”  He held his breath waiting
for her response.

She turned toward him, gazing deeply into his eyes. She
reached up and touched his cheek with her hand. “My feelings for you are
uncontrollable too.”

His heart skipped a beat. So she had the same overwhelming
feelings he had about her. He took her in his arms. “You don’t know how good it
feels to hear you say that.”

“I’m scared though,” she mumbled.

He cradled her face in his hands and stared into her pale blue
eyes. “Don’t be.” He glided his finger over her lips.  They parted and he heard
her let out a soft sigh. The plumpness and fullness of her lips were inviting,
making him want to take them captive.

She glided her hand down behind his neck and leaned into
him. Cautiously he brought his lips to hers, afraid that she might run off
again. When she closed her eyes, he kissed her deeply and tenderly. It released
every ounce of fear that consumed him, allowing him to show everything he felt
for her. It had to be the most passionate and intense kiss he had ever
experienced.

She responded willingly and didn’t pull away this time. He
pulled her body closer to his, holding on to her tightly. Her hot breath
against his mouth made him dizzy with desire and need. They continued kissing,
not even stopping for a breath of air. His feet sunk deeper into the sand
burying him up to his ankles. She wavered back and forth in his arms, and he
struggled to keep them both upright. She pressed her body against his and his
head swirled. For a moment, he lost all sense of direction and he felt his body
lifting. He swayed back and then forward before finally losing his balance.

He held on to her with one arm, protecting her as best as he
could. He used his other arm to break their fall. She cried out when they fell
back on to the sand.

“Are you okay?” He lifted himself up off of her. “Did I hurt
you?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m fine.” She glided her fingers
up and down his arms, awakening every nerve ending in his body. “Kiss me again.”

He leaned over her, caressing her neck and trailing kisses
up to her luscious lips. She responded back with soft and light kisses. Her
lips tasted so good, he didn’t want to part from them. He closed his eyes,
taking in each kiss fully. She moaned low in her throat and it tormented him to
the very core.  He wanted her badly. Never had he felt this way before about a
girl. Desire flooded his senses. He was losing control.

He pulled away. “I’m sorry.”

Natalie opened her eyes. “What? Is something wrong?”

He knelt down on the sand and shoveled his fingers through
his hair. Why couldn’t he control himself around her? She was so irresistible
but that was no excuse. He had to bridle the passion and feelings he had for
her. This couldn’t go any further. He got up and walked off.

“Ryan. Ryan, what’s wrong? Did I do something?”  Natalie
chased after him but stopped when he held out his hand.

He ignored her pleading for a second, gathering his
thoughts. He took a deep breath and let out a long and drawn out sigh. “No, ya
didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me.”  He held on to his head with both hands,
pacing back and forth along the sand.

Natalie stared at him, looking confused. Who could blame
her? He gave her all the right signals to only push her away. He had to be
honest with her, otherwise how would he know if she was the right gal for him.

He walked up to her and took her hand. “I’m sorry. I really need
to finish my talk with you.”

“Okay.”  Her eyes sank and the glow from her face faded in
to a look of worry.

He led her back down by the water and sat down. She knelt
down next to him, keeping some distance between them.

“Natalie, there’s something I need to tell you.” He grabbed
a fist full of sand and sifted it through his hand.

She placed her hand on his arm. “If it’s—”

“It’s not what you think.  I need to be honest with you.”

She pulled her hand back. “Oh…okay.”

He hesitated for a moment and then looked over at her. His
mind reviewed the words carefully before he spoke. “When I’m around you, I find
it really hard to control myself. Like I said earlier, my feelings for you are
beyond controllable.”

She nodded and barely mumbled, “Uh-huh.”

He cleared his throat several times. “Every time I’m with
you, I want to lose myself with you. But I can’t. I made a promise and I’m
sticking to it. I just don’t know if you are willing to accept that and if
you’re not then…” the words hung in his throat before he managed to spit them
out, “I’ll have to end our relationship.”

She winced and had a puzzled look on her face. “What? I have
no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t understand.”

“What I’m trying to say is that… I’m a virgin.” He felt a
flash of heat hit his cheeks.

She let out a small sigh. “That’s what this is all about?”

He dug the heels of his shoe into the wet sand.  He took a
deep breath and let it out quickly. “Yes. I’m twenty-one and still a virgin. If
you can’t accept that, I understand. I made a promise to not have sex until
marriage and I intend on keeping it.”

She laid her hand on top of his. “That is the most admirable
thing I’ve ever heard from a guy. I only wish I could say the same.”

Ryan felt everything drain from him. His shoulders sank and
his head dropped down. He felt his body sinking deeper into the sand. “I
understand. It’s not easy to make this type of commitment.” He stared into her
eyes. “I wish you could walk down that same path with me, because there is
nothing more I want than to spend each and every day with you.”

Tears filled her eyes and she shook her head. “I… I don’t
think I made myself clear. I meant that I wish I could say that I was a virgin,
but I’m not. I don’t intend on having sex again until I marry. I only did it
because I really thought Tony and I would marry. I’ve been beating myself up
over making such a dumb mistake.”

“So you’re okay with me being a virgin and not having sex
until marriage?”