Elisa (15 page)

18

I took
Layla to the airport the next morning. I walked with her as far as I could go without a ticket. She and I stood together until her flight was called. We didn’t talk about anything important, just random things that came to mind. She stared at me the whole time with pity in her eyes.

“Have a safe trip back.”

“I would call you but your phone will probably be off.”

I smiled. “I’ll turn it on
when I get back.”

“And leave it on. It’s been a few days. It’s time to
deal with it, Jared.”

“You’re right.”

“Obviously.”

“Don’t get cocky.”

“Too late.”

I smiled at her. “Thanks for coming with me.”

“No problem. What are friends for?”

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me. When she pulled away, she placed her lips over mine in a gentle kiss. Initially, I was immobile, but I responded to her affection a second later. I wasn’t thinking. It just happened. It was soft and wet. When she pulled away, she smiled at me. “That will have to hold me over until the next time I see you.”

I didn’t say anything.

“Jared, you’re mine as soon as you’re ready.”

“Why do you like me so much?”

“Sometimes you just know.” She turned around and walked toward the gate. I watched her with a sad expression. An amazing girl loved me and I didn’t feel the same way. I hated this. I wished that Elisa didn’t hurt me, or that I was over her. I didn’t think I would ever be over her. I loved her like crazy. I wanted to punch something.

I left the airport then took a cab to work. It was quiet around the building. I stayed in my office and worked throughout the day. Every once in a while
, I would open my wallet and stare at the picture of Becky and Tommy. When the emotion overcame me, I closed it and returned to my pocket. I needed to stop doing that. It was just making me sadder. I went there to stop thinking about her, not to stare at pictures of her kids—my kids.

There was a knock on my door. “Come in.”

A tall man came inside. He had brown hair and a strong frame. Even though he was in his forties, he looked healthy and strong. “Hello, Mr. Montague. I’m sorry I haven’t come by sooner. Been rather busy.” He had a strong British accent. “I’m Roger.”

I stood up and shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for the wonderful opportunity.”

“Well, you’ve been a great worker so far. I’m glad that your mother recommended you.”

I smiled. “My mom exaggerates my qualities sometimes.”

He laughed. “Don’t all mothers?”

I nodded. “True.”

“Do you have any questions or concerns? Anything I can help you with?”

“No. I got it figured out. But thank you for the offer.”

“So, your mom tells me you have a sister. What’s she like?”

I opened my wallet and showed him a picture. “She’s an annoying pain. That’s about it.”

He laughed as he looked at the picture. “Beautiful girl. She looks like your mother.”

I shrugged. “I try not to let it go to her head.”

He smiled. “Let’s have lunch this afternoon. I would like to get to know you better.”

I felt like I would betray my father if I spent time with my mother’s lover, but I couldn’t turn the guy down, especially since he got me the job
. Also, he was really nice. “That sounds great.”

“Wonderful,”
he said as he clapped his hands. “Let’s go at noon.”

“I look forward to it, sir.”

He nodded. “Call me Roger.”

“Will do.”

He left my office then disappeared down the hallway. I concentrated on my work until lunchtime came around. Roger appeared at my office door right on the hour.

“Ready to go, Jared?”

“Yes,” I said as I rose from my desk. I saved my document then followed him out the door.

“So what sounds good?”

“I’m not a picky eater.”

He laughed. “I’m glad you aren’t too similar to your mother.”

“For Thanksgiving every year, she would only eat a salad and a side of beets.”

“She’s a bit odd.”

“A bit?”

He laughed. “But I love that woman.”

His declaration made me uncomfortable. I was still on my dad’s side.

“How about the deli?”

“I like sandwiches.”

We crossed the street and entered the small shop. They had an assortment of sandwiches and a collection of teas. When I tried to pay for my food, Roger put the cash on the table and paid for both of us. Now I felt like he was kissing my ass. I didn’t like it.

We sat down at a table by the window. He sipped his tea while he ate his lunch. The weather outside was gray and cold. I hadn’t seen the sun once since I had been there. The city was beautiful, but dark and ugly at the same time. I guess I was just spoiled with the moderate snow of New York City.

“So do you have a woman in your life?” he asked.

“No.”

He nodded. “You’re a good looking guy. You’ll find the right one easily.”

I said nothing. I hated talking about my love life with people, especially people I hardly knew.

“I’m impressed that you went to Harvard. I feel like I already know you. Your mother never stops talking about you two.”

“Really?” I blurted. It didn’t seem like she cared for me or Sadie.

“Yes. She always says how much she misses you. She always wants
to visit but she’s afraid you don’t want her to.”

“She never told me that.”

“Perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything.”

I chewed my bite of sandwich and looked out the window.

“I’m really glad you’re here, Jared. Your mother was so excited when she told me you were coming. I don’t think she’ll ever let you leave the house.”

“Then I’ll have to sneak out.”

“You very well may have to,” he said. “I don’t have any kids of my own but now I wish I did.”

“Have you been married?”

“Once. She passed away a long time ago.”

“Oh
, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It took me a long time to get over it but I did eventually.”

I leaned back in my chair then wiped my mouth with a napkin.

“I’m thinking about asking your mother to marry me.”

“What?”

“You sound surprised.”

“I just can’t see her getting married. She’s had a different boyfriend every year.”

He smiled. “Perhaps I’m the right one that can
tame her.”

I said nothing. I didn’t know my mother well enough to say what she wanted.

“So, how do you feel about that?”

“What do you mean?”

“About me marrying your mother?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s her life. She can make her own choices and decisions without my consent or approval. It wouldn’t make a difference if she gave me hers when I got married.”

“Sometimes people are uncomfortable when their parents get remarried. That’s all I was asking.”

“My parents have been divorced for seven years. That’s plenty of time for me to accept it.”

He nodded. “So I have your blessing to ask?”

“Of course.
I want my mom to be happy.”

“Thank you. That’s all I wanted.”

We finished our meal then returned to work. When I was back in the office, I thought about the conversation we just had. Even though I felt like I was betraying my dad, I realized it didn’t make a difference. My mother would remarry anyway, and my dad was better off without her. She didn’t love him so it really didn’t matter.

When my work day was finally over, I went to the pub and
had a beer before I walked home to the townhouse my mom owned. It was nice because it was right in the midst of the city. I didn’t mind walking but I still wasn’t used to the chilling cold. It was even more bitter than winter in Manhattan.

When I walked inside
, my mother looked at me. She was on the phone.

“Okay. He’s right here.”

I held up my hand, knowing it was Sadie, and turned away.

“Jared!” she yelled. “This is important. Something has happened.”

I stopped and looked at her. “What?”

She held the phone to me. “Talk to your sister.”

I pushed it away. “No. You can tell me.”

“Jared, just talk to her.
Please.”

After I stared at the fear in her eyes
, I took the phone and held it up to my ear. I didn’t say anything for a long time. I heard Sadie whimpering. I knew she was crying. I’m sure she wanted to apologize for everything and beg me to come home. I didn’t want to listen to it.

“What?” I snapped.

“Jared?”

“Get on with it.”

She stared to cry harder. “It’s Elisa.”

My heart fell. “What? What happened? Tell me. Is she okay? What’s going on?”

She started to mumble incoherently through her tears.

“SADIE! Speak up!”

“She’s in the hospital.”

I started to hyperventilate. “Is she okay? What happened?”

My mom covered her face while she watched me.

“She was mugged then beaten. Someone took her to the hospital. We just got here.”

I felt the walls cave in. This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t take it. “Is she okay? Is she alive?”

“I think so.”

“
You think so?
Tell me!”

“I’ll tell you everything as soon as I find out.”

“The kids, are they okay?”

“They’re fine.”

“Were they there?”

“No.”

“Ethan?”

“He wasn’t there.”

“Then what the fuck happened?”

“I don’t want to say.”

“TELL ME!”

They found her near your building,” she whispered. “We think she was looking for you, hoping you were still in the city.”

Tears fell down my face. “She went out by herself in the middle of the night?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck.” The tears kept falling. “This is all my fault.”

“Are you coming?”

I wiped my tears away. “I’m leaving now.”

“Okay.”

I dropped the phone on the floor. I stared at my mother but didn’t really look at her. My mind was racing with the speed of light. I dashed upstairs and grabbed all my stuff then headed to the front door.

“You’re leaving?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“But what about your job?”

“I don’t care.”

“Wait until the weekend. There’s nothing you can do for her.”

“Bye.” I slammed the door behind me then jumped in a cab. I told the driver to take me to the airport. I stared at the wet streets and thought about Elisa. I couldn’t believe this was happening. If I had said goodbye before I left, she wouldn’t have looked for me. If I just answered my phone, I could have spared her. I loved her so much, and now she’s in the hospital because of me. She must have been so scared. I should have been the one protecting her. I failed her and the kids. I just wanted to die.

19

The next twelve hours were agonizing. I had to wait to catch a flight, and when I finally got on one it was delayed. I was wound up so tight that I could
’ve killed someone. My legs wouldn’t stop shaking as I waited and waited. When the plane finally took off, I was stuck in a chair for eight hours, suffocated by the thoughts of Elisa. Her brother was going to kill me when he saw me, but I didn’t care. I deserved the beating of a lifetime.

When the plane finally landed, I practically pushed an old
lady out of the way just so I could get off the plane as fast as I could. I grabbed my luggage from the collection stand then whistled down a cab. That drive felt just as long as the plane. When the hospital came into sight, I jumped out of the halted cab, forgetting to pay the driver and grab my luggage.

When the cab driver caught my attention
, I threw a fifty at him then grabbed my bags and dashed to the entrance.

“Elisa Benedict. I’m looking for Elisa Benedict,” I said
, out of breath.

The receptionist stared at me for a moment before she looked in her computer. “There’s no one here under that name.”

“Yes, there is! Check again!”

She leaned back at my ferocity.

“Please check,” I said hysterically.

She looked again. “I’m sorry, sir.”

I screamed.

“Jared!”

I turned to see Sadie looking at me. “Come on.”

I raised an eyebrow then followed her. “Where is she? How is she? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine,” she said as she grabbed my arm. “Keep your voice down and stop yelling.”

We entered a small private room. I dropped my bags on the ground then went to the bed. She was lying the
re, asleep. Her face was purple and bruised. She had a cut on her lip and her arms were dark with bruises.

I broke down. “No, no.”

I leaned over her and pressed my forehead against hers. “I’m so sorry, Ellie. I’m so sorry.” I kissed her forehead and tasted my own tears. I grabbed her hand and held it tightly. When she didn’t wake up, I got scared. “Ellie, wake up. Please wake up.”

“Jared,” Sadie said. “Let her sleep.”

“Why isn’t she waking up?”

She stared at me. “She hasn’t woken up yet.”

“What?”

“She hit her head.”

I sat up and looked at her. “Are you telling me she’s in a coma?”

“No. She just hasn’t woken up yet. Don’t try to wake her.”

I sat on the edge of the bed and held her hand. I stared at her face and felt my world crumble. “Where are the kids?”

“Ethan has them.”

“Do they know?”

“N
o. We don’t want them to know. They think she’s out shopping.”

“For a few days?”

“The kids believe it. That’s all that matters.”

I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’m so sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Shut up. Yes
, it is.”

“Jared, no
, it’s not.”

I didn’t respond to her comment. “Did they catch the bastard?”

“No. She needs to give a description when she wakes up.”

I sighed. “I’ll find him.”

She said nothing.

“Did anything else—happen?
”

“No.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Thank god.” I would die if someone raped her. I really couldn’t stand the thought.

Sadie stared at me but said nothing.

I held Elisa’s hand within mine and felt her pulse. It made me feel better because it was strong. She was going to be okay. She was going to be okay.

“Jared—”

“No,” I interrupted her. “Drop it.” I knew what she was going to say. She wanted to talk about the letter. “Now isn’t the best time,” I snapped.

“I just wanted to say I
’m sorry, Jared. That’s all.”

I said nothing.

The nurse came in. “Visiting hours are over. You can come back in the morning.”

“You may as well call security because I’m not going anywhere,” I said as I looked at Elisa. “And I won’t go quietly.”

Sadie looked at me. “Jared—”

“I mean it,” I snapped.

The nurse sighed. “It’s not worth it. He can stay.”

Sadie nodded. “Thank you.”

The nurse left.

Sadie grabbed my bags from the floor. “I’ll take
these home.”

I didn’t say anything.

Sadie came behind me then wrapped her arms around my torso. I didn’t reciprocate her embrace at all. My hands were still on Elisa.

“I love you,” she whispered.

I remained silent.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said as she released me. She walked out and closed the door behind her.

The only light in the room was from the monitor by her bed side. I grabbed a chair and pulled it next to her bed. I held her hand as I laid my head beside hers. I listened to her breathing until my eyes grew heavy. I closed them and fell asleep.

When the door opened a moment later, or it seemed like a moment, I sat up and rubbed the sleep from eyes.

“Good morning,” a man in a white coat said.

I said nothing.

“That’s gonna hurt later today,” he said as he looked at my neck. He sat on the stool then observed Elisa, checking her vital signs and her IV. He examined her bruises and cuts. “Well, the CT came back this morning.”

“And?”

“She doesn’t have any permanent brain damage. She’s just recovering from the trauma.”

“She’s going to be okay?”

“Yes. She can leave when she wakes up.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god.”

“Are you Mrs. Wyatt’s husband?”

“Who?”

He stared at the chart. “Elisa’s husband?”

“Oh—uh—no.
Her boyfriend. She’s a widow.”

He nodded.
“My apologies.”

“Yeah.”

He left the room, closing the door behind him.

Now I understood why the receptionist couldn’t find her. She still had her husband’s last name—not Ethan’s. I ran my fingers through her hair and stared at her face. The bruises pained my heart. She must have been so scared. I wished this hadn’t happened to her. I sat vigil next to her for hours before there was a knock on the door.

Ethan walked into the room. He didn’t look surprised to see me.

“I’m not leaving,” I blurted. “So save it.”

He sat in the chair on the opposite side of the room. “I wasn’t going to ask you to.”

“Good,” I snapped.

“Any news?”

“Doctor says she doesn’t have any brain damage.”

Ethan breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god.” Tears bubbled under his eyes but he blinked them back.

“How are the kids?”

“Oblivious.”

I nodded.

“Sadie is watching them.”

“Okay.”

I squeezed Elisa’s hand. I hadn’t drop it since I got there. I wanted her to know I was there even if she couldn’t speak or see. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

Ethan looked at me. “It isn’t your fault.”

I stared at him, incredulous. “It’s completely my fault. I shouldn’t have left, or I should have told her I was really leaving. She obviously thought I was lying or was still at the apartment. If I just answered my phone, I could have stopped this.”

He sighed. “Don’t beat
up yourself over it. It was my fault too. I should have heard her leave.”

A tear fell down my face. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. No.”

Ethan fell silent.

I cried quietly to myself, hating myself for it. This was entirely my fault. “You should kill me.”

“It’s not your fault,” he repeated.

“So, the one time I actually do something wrong
, you don’t care? But I get punched for crimes I didn’t commit?”

“I was wrong to hit you before, but you didn’t do anything wrong
here. Let it go. She’s going to be okay. That’s all that matters at this point.”

I shook my head. “I can’t believe you. If something happened to Sadie
, I would hold you responsible for it.”

“That’s completely different and you know it.”

I said nothing.

“Jared, no one holds you responsible. She went out on her own.”

“Shut up,” I snapped.

He fell silent.

I grabbed her hand and kissed it.

We sat together for a long time. Only the sound of the monitor could be heard. I stared at Elisa and watched her breath
e. The IV machine would beep every once in a while. It was a nice distraction.

When I saw her eyes flutter open, I felt my heart race. The tears poured down my face. I didn’t move or speak because I didn’t want to scare her. Her last memory must have been horrific. When her eyes were completely open
, she stared at me for a long time until she recognized me.

“Jared?” she said with a croak.

“Yeah,” I whispered.

She reached her hand toward mine. Instead
, I leaned over and pressed my forehead against hers. She wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed me tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”

She said nothing while she held me.

“
Ellie, I love you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” she whispered.

“You are everything to me. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m okay.”

I kissed her forehead then her cheeks. “I didn’t know what I would do if—”

“
Shh.”

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed.

“It’s not your fault, Jared.”

“Yes, it is. I’m supposed to protect you. I failed.”

“Jared, calm down.”

I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m so glad you
’re okay. I’m so grateful.” I pulled away and looked down at her. “How are you feeling? Are you in pain?”

“A little.”

“I’ll get the nurse.”

She grabbed me. “No. Don’t go.”

“Okay.”

She placed her hand on my chest and gently rubbed me. “You didn’t have to come, Jared.”

“I love you. Of course I had to.”

“I’m not your responsibility anymore.”

“Shut up. You’re always my responsibility. I love you.”

Her eyes softened but she said nothing.

Ethan stood up then approached the bed. “Hey,” he whispered.

She turned to him. “Ethan?
”

“Hey.” He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. He started to cry quietly. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I know.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

He continued to hold her while the tears fell down his face.

“Where are my babies?”

“They’re
at home with Sadie.”

“Do they—know?” she asked.

“No. They have no idea.”

“
Good.”

He rubbed her back while he held her. I looked away to give them some privacy. When Ethan finally pulled away, his eyes were still red. He wiped them and looked at his sister. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I know,” she whispered.

“The doctor said you’re going to be fine. He said you could go home.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Good.”

“You still need to give a description of the mugger before we go,” he said quietly.

Her eyes widened in fear. “No.”

“
Elisa—”

“No.” She started to cry. “I can’t—no.”

I grabbed her face and kissed her gently. Her cries were stifled for a moment. “Ellie, please do this for me. I’ll be here the whole time—both of us.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Please.”

She kept crying.

I kissed her tears away and ran my fingers through her hair. “Calm down.”

“I’m trying,” she said between breaths.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“Okay,” she said.

“Please do this for me.”

She was quiet for a long time. “Okay.”

“Thank you.”

Ethan rose from the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

I kept Elisa’s face close to mine. We stared at each other for a long time, neither one of us saying anything. When she looked into my eyes, she seemed to feel calm, distracted. I wanted her to stay that way, so I ran my fingers through her hair gently. Her eyes were still red but the tears stopped falling. I wanted to ask her what happened but I couldn’t. It would make her hysterical again.