Elise (19 page)

“Don’t turn your sarcasm on me. I’ll not give you over to them. Not without a fight, anyway. They’ve never seen an English lady’s maid when she’s angry. They’d best watch their Scottish backs! That’s what they’d best do!”

Elise giggled as Daisy began scrubbing her hair. She was right about the soap. It was harsh. Her hair would be like a cloud of white ash about her.

“Will you be able to pin it up?”

“The hair? You need worry over getting it dry enough first. And don’t you fret. I’ll have you back to the notorious ice goddess in no time. That’s my mission, and I’d never shirk from my duties.”

“Oh, thank you, Daisy.”

“Ice goddesses don’t cry, you know.”

The maid’s voice had softened, and Elise pulled in a shuddering breath. “Yes, I know,” she whispered.

When the knock came, Elise was ready. Her hair was still damp, and that made the tendrils about her face curl as they dried. There wasn’t a sign of the silver dress anywhere. She couldn’t even see where it had landed among the bushes bordering the tower. She’d had to wait until the tub was taken away, and Daisy was busy with her attire, to toss it. She was half-afraid the maid would try and stop her.

She was wearing one of her older gowns, a simple affair in peach organza over cotton sheeting. It was something she’d wear to visit with women-friends, or for a morning of strolling about a country garden. It certainly wasn’t something she’d choose to wear to meet and dine with the influential families of Carlisle.

She met Daisy’s glance in the mirror, and they both smiled.

“His Grace must not want to see you at your best. That is a puzzle, to be sure.”

“I look fine,” Elise replied. “A bit understated, but fine.”

“Understated? You? Isn’t this the self-same castle that our great Queen Elizabeth had that Scot’s Queen Mary imprisoned in? And aren’t you married to one of their very own grand Scottish lairds? Yet they wish you gowned this plainly?”

“The gown is fine. I wish I had my pearls with me, though.”

Elise had purchased a single strand of apricot-hued pearls in France last year, when she should have been attending Evangeline at the birth of Rory. She put the thought aside the moment it surfaced and gazed wistfully in the mirror.

“You’d think a great Scottish duke would know when he’d met his match. I have all your jewels, love. They’ve been in your reticule. Just let me go and get them for you.”

Elise watched as Daisy opened the large tapestry-covered carpetbag. She had to blink the emotion away as the maid came back with not only her necklace, but the bracelet and earbobs as well.

“There. An improvement, to be sure. I’m quite proud of you, I am.”

“Do you want me to cry?”

“Of course not. I want you to give them all the hell they can stand. Let me see if that Honor Guard is still napping at your threshold. Oh, bother. They’ve been joined by His Grace. Pardon me, Your Grace, we weren’t expecting you.”

Daisy had opened the door, then slammed it shut again. Elise had to stifle her laughter at the maid’s actions. She had her face composed when the door opened again from the outside. Daisy was busily picking up the discarded towels and straightening an already straight bed. Elise was grateful she was there.

“Thank you for being prompt, Elise.”

Colin took one step into the room, and four of his men filed from behind to flank him. It was effective. It was obvious they considered her the enemy. What were they protecting him from, a bar of lye soap?

Daisy snorted from her position beside the bed.

He looked Elise up and down, then he frowned. “I dinna’ send jewels up.”

“Inform His Grace that I’m wearing my own pearls.” Elise motioned to Daisy, who stood obediently and spoke for her.

“Her Grace is wearing—”

“I heard it, and I’ll na’ allow it. She already knows that. Take them off, or I’ll have them cut off.”

Daisy’s indrawn breath spoke for her.

“If she refuses?” Elise asked quietly.

“I’ve a certain position in Scotland, as one of their lairds. It’s one of the oldest and most sacred of duties. All my countrymen are aware of my marriage by now, without receipt of clan permission. They also know I wed an Englishwoman, which is worse. I have nae choice now but to produce my wife at every occasion. Doona’ test that choice, for I will na’ hesitate to send you, under guard, to Castle Gowan, with the bastard, and let the gossips be damned.”

Elise started unclasping her bracelet.

“They’re just pearls, Your Grace,” Daisy said.

“This is Scotland, Elise. Kindly tell your maid that in this country a man’s wife is his chattel, and her servants are his. They can be dismissed at my whim, and they will be.”

Elise had pried the earbobs from her ears and it smarted. She ignored it. She was afraid Daisy would be sent packing if she said another word. The maid didn’t know what Colin MacGowan was capable of. She turned to the maid. “Thank you, Daisy. You may attend to Nanny and Rory, now.”

Daisy met Elise’s eyes before she curtsied. She’d been asked to do the impossible, and Elise knew it. Daisy couldn’t pass by Colin and his men, but she didn’t say another word, either.

“I am ready now, Your Grace.”

“I see that you are.”

Colin turned on his heel and walked out into the hallway. His men formed a line behind him. Elise walked past them with her head high. They were all wearing their kilts, and all the strange accoutrements that seemed to accompany an outfit of that nature. They were a barbaric-looking lot.

That was the point, she was sure.

They didn’t frighten her. She was The Ice Goddess, wasn’t she? Their laird was simply putting more ballast into her hatred of him. It was going to be highly enjoyable when he found out the truth. She might want to be around, after all.

Chapter 19

“What do you want?”

Elise looked up from the chair beside the fire as the duke entered. Her words hid the instant fright the sight of him had caused her. He was wearing a long plaid robe with the MacGowan crest.

“You sent for your maid,” he answered.

“What of it?”

“She’s na’ available to you tonight.”

Elise’s heart sank, and she had to fight to maintain her color. He wouldn’t have dismissed Daisy, would he? And if he had... why? Elise had postured at being an obedient, quiet, and subservient wife at the sup. Lord Kinley had even complimented Colin on his choice of a bride.

“Why not?” Elise looked down at her hands as she asked it. She was preparing herself for the answer. She knew she wouldn’t be able to hide her reaction if he was looking.

“She’s tending to the bastard.”

“He has a name, you know.” Relief was what made her words so harsh and quick.

Colin didn’t say anything for so long, Elise looked up to see why. He had such a look of disgust on his features, she immediately looked back to her hands. She was grateful he hadn’t been looking at her and had missed her motion.

“Your nursemaid woman was na’ up to a jaunt north. I let her go. Along with a nice stipend, I might add.”

“You dismissed Nanny? You’ve overstepped yourself. He needs her. You have to hire her back.”

“I’m afraid I dinna’ quite hear that. Perhaps you’d be carin’ to do a bit of a repeat?”

Elise sucked in a breath, held it, and then spoke. “My mistake, Your Grace.”

“I suspected as much.”

How she longed to scream at him! Instead, she contented herself with examining her nails.

“Now ...as to what I’m doing here,” he said, drawing out the words.

“I would prefer to be alone.”

“With nae one to assist you with your undressing? I’ve already seen how far that gets you.”

Elise caught the sob in her throat at the brogue-filled words. She didn’t want any of those memories! She was more certain of it now than when she’d tossed the silver-starred dress from the window. She didn’t want any reminders of Colin MacGowan.

“I’ll not allow you to touch me.”

Silence greeted her whisper. Despite her every effort, Elise glanced sidelong at him from beneath her lashes. He hadn’t moved. He had a strange look on his face, too. She looked away quickly before she thought about what it could be, but knew she was too late.

It was self-hatred. She knew it too well.

“I’ve nae desire to be anywhere near you, Elise.”

“You’re wasting your time,” she replied coldly.

“Nae, I’m not. I dinna’ say I’d be assisting you. I just said you had nae one else who would.”

“What do you want, then?”

He took a great, lung-expanding, chest-enlarging breath. Her eyes burned with watching it, and then her ears joined in with sound.

“To assure myself that I’m not a simple-minded whelp. To ken that my foolishness was na’ without cause. To remind myself that there were verra good reasons for wedding with you.” He stopped and pushed the rest of his breath out. “And to help me sleep. You’re a verra beautiful woman. Verra womanly. Verra.”

She gagged on the cry and fought the rush of goose-flesh along her limbs.

“It’s na’ difficult for any man, myself included, to see why I married you and why it’s affecting my sleep. I’m here now because it’s my own special hell that I have to ken for certain.”

“I care not how you sleep, or if you do,” she replied.

She sat in the chair closest to the fire, but at the present moment was so cold, she couldn’t feel it. She wished he’d leave, so she could crouch beside the flames. Or, now that she knew she’d be sleeping in her evening attire, she’d crawl beneath the heavy quilts and let them warm her. She knew it wouldn’t work, though. It wasn’t the chamber’s chill that she was suffering from.

“Why dinna’ you tell me of him, Elise?”

His whisper raised every bit of nerves she was fighting to still. Elise molded half-moons into her palms with her nails as she clenched her hands.

“I can understand hesitancy at first... when you kissed with me. I can even give you embarrassment at Barrigan’s. I suppose I can even give you Ipswich, but you could have said something at Crewe.”

His voice cracked. The hands beneath her blurred with the onslaught of tears. Elise hated the emotion and hated herself for being weak enough to have to suffer through it. She took several deep, even breaths and blinked the moisture away before she answered.

“Perhaps I was afraid of how you’d react, Your Grace. And look here, I wasn’t far wrong, either.”

“You think my treatment harsh?”

“Right now? No, but you do seem to have forgotten to bring along some of your Honor Guard. Perhaps you should open the door and invite some of them in.”

“Oh, I doona’ think so. I doona’ want observers at present.”

Elise knew it was her heart sinking this time. Her eyes widened to their fullest extent, and the hands on her lap shook. She had to clasp them together to stop the motion. She didn’t dare take her next breath for so long she started to feel faint. “Now, you’re wasting my time,” she said coldly.

“Since your time belongs to me, as everything else about you does, I fail to see waste. If I want to see you, I will. If I want to hold you, I will. If I want to use you to slake my lust, there’s none to stop me from doing so. You’re mine to do with as I see fit, remember?”

Oh, God!
Elise screamed it silently and lost any pretense to the contrary. She held her hands over her eyes and shook.

‘That’s what a whore is good for. You ken that much.”

“Don’t do this, Colin ... please?” To her own ears, the plea sounded broken and defeated.

“You’ve na’ received permission to use my name. Doona’ do it again, or reap the penalty.”

Elise pulled her hands from her face and stood. She knew she was ashen. She knew, because it took an effort of will to stay upright. “You don’t want me, Your Grace. You don’t. I know you don’t.”

“How do you ken anything about me?”

“I...I have foisted a bastard on you, remember?”

His jaw tightened. “How can I forget?”

Then he was walking across the room toward her, looming larger the closer he got. Elise backed away until her feet were on the hearthstone. She couldn’t go any farther without getting burned, but she actually considered it. She opened her mouth and started talking.

“His name is Rory. He’s eight months old. He was born at the Wyndham Villa in Monte Carlo last summer. There is no record of his birth. I thought it best... for all concerned.”

Her words stopped his advance. Elise watched the conflicting emotions cross his face. The closed, unreadable one was replaced by such loathing, she arched from it, the back-cracking motion stopping only when she reached the mantel.

Colin swore and spewed his Gaelic words before spinning about. Elise watched him pace her chamber; turning once he reached the door to glare at her.

“Damn you, Elise MacGowan. Damn you, and your ilk, to hell.”

The door slammed, reverberating through the room. She found she preferred his Honor Guard, after all.

~ ~ ~

Colin had ordered a privy chamber constructed in the corner of her prison. Elise looked at it without any emotion; she’d spent every last bit of that last night, after Colin had left.

They’d awakened her at dawn, and a strange maid had assisted her into a plain skirt and blouse. It hadn’t been comfortable sleeping in her corset and all the clothing beneath it, but things could have been worse. Colin might have stayed, and then where would she be?

Elise knew where she’d be. She’d been fighting thoughts of it all night. She’d be at Colin’s side, in his arms, and in his bed.

Whereas two nights ago, when it had been her wedding night, she’d longed to surprise Colin with her virginity, now she was doing her utmost to keep it from him. He’d not know the truth from her lips or her body. His treatment of her had sealed that vow. He didn’t deserve to know that secret.

“Elise? You slept well?” Daisy poked her finger through the scrollwork as she asked it.

Elise walked over to her. “Passably. What happened with Nanny? I thought Rory was everything to her.”

“She complained once too often. I couldn’t keep her silent. I tried. Please don’t think I didn’t try.”

“That’s a silly request, Daisy. I know my husband’s ways. He’s a harsh man. A barbarian. A brute. A boor. And all those other B words I used so long ago. He’s reverting further the longer we travel north, too. He’s a harsh man from a harsh world. I was a fool to forget it. You’re not overburdened by yourself?”

“I’ve four housemaids assisting. The duke hired them away from Castle Kinlochlan for the rest of the journey. It’s actually quite crowded over here.”

And too public, Elise finished in her thoughts, before sucking on her tongue.

Colin MacGowan was a worthy adversary. He either didn’t wish Elise to have any company, or he was aware that she’d try to escape him if given a chance. Either way, she’d lost her confidante for the time being but had gained some insight.

Colin MacGowan wasn’t a man easily thwarted.

They separated the train at Glasgow. Daisy described it for her. The only view from her side of the car was of rain-blurred trees, caressed by a low-lying mist that seemed to be held in the air by drizzle. It made the forest look more sinister than it could possibly be. Daisy told her there were eight more cars lined up behind another engine. The extravagance was stunning. Nothing the Wyndham family had could compete.

“They’re sending Rory on ahead, Elise! What am I to do? He’s lost Nanny, and he doesn’t know anyone here. He’s crying. Here, baby, that’s a love.”

Elise heard Rory’s cries, but she couldn’t do anything through a wooden wall. She was losing Daisy. She’d shown how much that would matter to her, and now he was using it. She shouldn’t begrudge it. She was the one who’d given His Grace the weapon to use.

“You’ll accompany him, of course. I can make do without a maid for the time being. It will be rough, but I’ve managed before.”

“I can’t leave you alone with him, Elise! Hush, Rory.”

“The baby’s already lost too many, Daisy. He knows you. He’ll be safe with you. I won’t listen to another word. Besides, I’ll be right behind you, I will. I promise.”

Elise wasn’t so sure of her words when Mick came for her. The MacGowan train had been reduced to two cars, and the others were nowhere in sight. The closer she got to Colin’s carriage, the more worried she grew.

All about her there were big-boned, unkempt-looking horses and men wearing the MacGowan plaid. Elise didn’t bother to count, but the ranks of Colin’s men appeared to have doubled.

“Where is Rory?” Elise broke her vow of silence to ask it. She didn’t think he was going to answer for a moment. Then he looked down at her with something akin to pity on his face.

“The bairn is on his way to the castle with the bags and such. They’ll be there for days afore we arrive.”

For days?
Elise set her lips and narrowed her eyes. “Was a guard sent with him?”

“The Honor Guard stays at the duke’s side. There’s outriders. He’ll be safe enough.”

“He sent my baby away without a guard, yet kept so many for his own use? You’ve got to stop him.”

“The bairn will be safe enough. None will attack the MacGowan train. The name’s too well known.”

“There’s nothing I would put past your country. There’s probably a robber behind every tree, and—and a kidnapper at every stop!”

Elise knew she was acting hysterically. She also knew it was horrid to consider, but she couldn’t stop the instant vision from catching her breath and twisting her belly with worry. What was to stop Rory from disappearing, and saving their laird at the same time? She didn’t know what Colin was capable of anymore.

She watched as Mick shrugged. “It will be safe. Come, you waste time. His Grace has to put in an appearance at the Castle Dunvargas yet today. It’s a long ride.”

“Why can’t we stay with the train?”

‘The tracks to Inverness go through Grampian Mountains. It’s rough country. The duke will stay to the valleys.”

“Why? Is it safer?”

Elise watched the man narrow his eyes and sigh heavily. He was probably attributing her fears to womanly weakness.

“I promise you it’s safe. The train runs year-round. Nothing happened to it getting here. Nothing will happen to it going back.”

“They weren’t carrying a baby, you backwater-bred idiot.”

He didn’t like that title. Elise could tell by the way he clenched his jaw as he opened the carriage door for her. She didn’t care.

“Go tell Colin—I mean, His Grace, that Rory isn’t just any baby! He’s Evan MacGowan’s illegitimate son. He’s too precious to be sent off like unwanted baggage. Go! Tell him. He can’t send that baby off without a guard. I won’t allow it.”

“That bairn ...is a MacGowan? He’s Evan MacGowan’s son? The duke’s brother, Evan?”