Emanate: Insight Series ((Insight) Web of Hearts and Souls) (3 page)

I leaned in and let my lips rest on her forehead, breathing in that addictive aroma of lavender and warm honey. This girl was a drug to me
, an insane addiction that nothing in this universe could equal.

I left a note by the bedside table
, then in a flash I moved my body downstairs.

Phoenix was in the den with Skylynn
, poring over a book of shadows and maps of the universe. I’d sensed Phoenix popping in and out for hours now. He was trying to keep his eye on my life and his at the same time. I guess he’d finally figured out that I might be right. We may be linked beyond the obvious. That would be a gift: knowing he would always be at my side.

I had to get through this Chara thing before I could explore any myths of a supernatural future that might have m
y and Phoenix’s name on it.

I couldn’t walk into that room with them. They would want answers, want to pull me away from this dimension. But…I didn’t have any answers just yet. 

It was hard for me to be around Skylynn for any length of time. Our past was heavy on my mind. I was furious at myself for that. I hurt Skylynn, used her for gain, used her to appease my deepest desires. Her clear blue eyes and ‘don’t cross me’ attitude made that simple.

I had yet to process all the memories of my past that were now mine again; in truth
, more came flooding in my mind each day. I knew, though. I knew that I had met Skylynn long before the time I had become a Phoenix, that I made a promise to protect her, that I promised her lover that I would do that.

I may have saved her life more times than I could count in our past, but I’d also held her flesh
-to-flesh, and by holding her I betrayed a good friend that in this life has no memory of how honorable he was when I knew him: Aden. He has no memory of his pivotal role in my life. If it weren’t for Aden, I would have never found Willow in my first life. He guided me to this dark reality—in more ways than one.

In turn
, I hurt his girl. When I broke that vow, I didn’t remember that it was his girl, the promises I made. That is the curse of The Fall, in combination with the curse of the Phoenix. When you pass through both of those curses, you lose memories. They are still in your soul, somewhere deep, but you forget them.

The thing is, Skylynn forgot, too. She forgot the details. When I knew her as a Phoenix
, she was searching for an energy signature, an energy she felt bonded with. I helped her look, I really did, but I found Willow before she found Aden and I left her behind without even a parting glance.

At one time
, Skylynn was innocent. Easy to read. Easy to trust. But because I left her behind, didn’t think twice about it, she’s become colder and even further away from what she wanted me to help her gain. Life. Him.

I’m indebt
ed to her and
Aden
. It’s a debt that I have no idea how I will ever square. The spells that Skylynn bartered with, the same ones that inherently turned her into a shadowed soul, clearly state that no one can interfere, no one can just walk up to Aden and tell him she’s real. If they did—she will never come back, and he will live out each existence in agony, literally starved to death.

My goal back when I knew her was to gain enough power to break those spells that chained her. I never came close to finding enough energy to help her. I couldn’t find enough because she needed the power of the dead, or at least that
was how I read it. She needed the power of grief. My power was with the living, in fear.

I told Phoenix we had to find a way around that, that we had to repay Skylynn for all that she had given us. He didn’t hesitate to agree. Though he still harbored enmity toward her for actions she had taken on this side of The Fall, Phoenix now knew that back then Skylynn’s lover, Aden, had saved my life, and in some way, recently, Skylynn had saved Phoenix’s soul mate.

All brothers have a bond, one that words cannot touch. It’s rich with honor. In my first existence, I was Phoenix’s younger brother. We’d walked through hell together, thousands of years side by side. Phoenix would honor and repay any debt our family had, twofold. That was the Falcon way.

For a moment
, we both questioned if Aden had come to this side to bring us all back. For Aden was not only a member of The Selected in that past, he was a direct descendant of the leader of The Selected. No one knew the ins and outs of The Fall better than him.

Even if that were the case, Aden is blind now. We would have to awaken him before we could figure out if he indeed knew a way to reset this life course.

Phoenix told me he was going to focus on helping Skylynn, demanded that I let him do that. His excuse was that he didn’t think it was fair for Willow to watch me help her, but I knew underneath that excuse he felt indebted to Skylynn. I wouldn’t say that those two were best friends—not at all, they both enjoy arguing too much—but they were working together.

Even though I knew Phoenix would sense me leaving and surely follow me just to make sure I hadn’t gone off the deep end, the time alone between that point and this one was needed.

I flashed outside, next to my Jeep. Bad move; Brady was there.

He was on the porch last night when I came home. I didn’t say a word to him because I already knew what he was going to say
. Instead, I vanished from his sight and tucked Willow in.

One thing was certain about Brady: he didn’t give up easily. He had something to say
, and he was going to get it off his chest.

“Where are you going, baby brother
?” he said as he cocked his chin up.

These bonds right here—they twist my mind. One thought
: I felt the honor and respect of the Falcons, of the life across The Fall in the bright reality. I understood this side as being a hell, that my mission was to end fear and bring my lover home.

The next thought
: I was face-to-face with Brady, my older brother in this life. A man that had my back through all this hell and long before. A man that loved his world and his family, that put them first and foremost. The sight of him shifted me back to swallowing the fact that even if I was on the dark side of The Fall, this was home to me right now. This was a dimension that lore stated I created. It was a part of me that I could not turn my back on.

Two brothers, from different eras of life, forcing me to see through their eyes
, asking for loyalty with a glance that I should never hesitate to grant.

“Not now.”

“You’ve been saying that for months. There’s no time left.”

“Did you forget who you are talking to? If I
happen
to run out of time, I’ll stop it.”

“That’s your backup plan? Freeze our lives in place
?” he asked, lowering his chin to stare me down.

No one in my family was thrilled to discover that a large section of my past lives were in the role of a Phoenix. When those memories were unlocked and I naturally started to utilize those lost powers and temperament, they all cringed and looked for someone to blame, some way to bring me back around.

Chrispin tried to calm them down, assured them that I was still their Guardian and that I would rise soon. He had no doubt. Olivia had seen the flower on Willow’s chest, told him about it. That revelation had apparently spread across the family. My father knew about it now—the entire world did. That was the only omen they needed, the only one they wanted, the reason the intent of the dimension shifted so drastically, right now queued with Saturn’s approach.

“It’s a better idea than yours—Dad’s.”

His stare flicked to my chest. “It’s burning, isn’t it?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m only nineteen. A child too young to search for his soul mate or battle any darkness.”  That was the line they had all used with me as I grew up. It felt good to throw it back in their face.

“You’re acting like a
child
. Did you ever think that maybe, just
maybe
all the holding back they did, all the times they asked me to hold you back, was for your own good? Because they knew it would trigger this evolution, an evolution you can’t hide from anymore.”

“Pick a side, Brady. You can’t stand at my side one minute and back up Dad’s the next.”

“Landen, we have followed your every demand. We have put aside our heritage, our world—pulled warriors from their post and fought in a dimension that has
nothing
to do with us.”

“It has
everything
to do with us! If I am who you believe I am, then I came from there.
She
came from there.”

“You did. And you put decrees in place here
that you
will
abide by.” He glanced to my chest. “You can’t stop it.”

“The sa
me decrees that state that I had to be twenty before I could have even searched for her. I have time.”

“No, you don’t. The time is now. You tell her now.”

In a flash, I pushed him against his Jeep and had his shirt balled in my fist. “There is a risen dead man in my guest room, a Phoenix and shadowed soul in my living room. Explain to
me
how we can ascend if none of our affairs are in order. How can we ascend if we are not at peace?”

“That
dead
man is going to let out your secret. You know he will.” He unclasped my hand and stood straight.  “When you ascend, you will have the power to take out Donalt—problem solved.”

Justus. A man that served with my father, with Willow’s, who’d died long ago, had risen with the last trial. Not looking a day over the age of twenty, and just as Brady stated, well aware of every lore I’ve kept from Willow. 

Problem solved, my ass.

If only it were that simple. If only I didn’t know about another reality. If I didn’t know about every spell that was weaved together to bring down seven Master Escorts that were basically
Gods. If only I weren’t indebted to people like Phoenix, Aden, Skylynn, and every other soul that was pulled into this war against evil Gods.

Brady didn’t get that. He saw this as black and white. Chara first. Defend home first. But the thing is, with all these memories fresh in my mind
, I wasn’t exactly sure where my true home was. I wasn’t exactly sure who deserved my undying loyalty—because I wanted to appease them all.

“Has Dad gotten into your head again?” I bit out. “Is that where this is coming from?”

“No. This is me, Landen. I let this go on for far too long. I haven’t told a soul about you and your best
friend
Drake. Keep pushing me, and I will. You’re not in debt to him. His queen has been found. It’s time for you to take control of your celestial heritage.”  He let out a curse. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head, man, why you would even hesitate to protect Chara. You know the borders are weak. August told us that right now you may very well be facing both Saturn
and
Neptune. That’s not good, brother. Saturn will make you focus on what really matters: home, shedding ways that no longer serve you, and Neptune will give you illusions to make everything confusing. This is home. Shed this past I see in your eyes, and drop the illusion that you are indebted to any course beyond what that mark on your chest is telling you to take.”

“Until you know what I know, until you know every single detail of this twisted fate—stay out of it.”

“Tell me, then. Tell me why you are running from your own promises—promises you made when
you
created this dimension.”

“You couldn’t comprehend it.”

“Why? Because I’m not a king like Drake or a Phoenix? Because I’m nothing more than a Rampart Warrior from divine royal blood? You can hide behind any curse you want, but we both know what you’re afraid of. You have the strongest warriors in existence at your command, and you have chosen to play out this part for her. I don’t care what you know—I know you’re acting like a
coward
. And we don’t deserve to be in second, third, or fourth place on your to-do list. You have to rise to protect us. That is the only way you are going to take down the beast Donalt has become.”

I jerked my Jeep door open. “Tell you what, Brady. Go home. Look in Felicity’s eyes. Ask yourself how sure you are that you’re right. Tell yourself that you have no doubt—that Allie will not lose the foundation she was born into simply because her father was too much like his father, too worried about me and my own to consider the two of them. You think I’m a coward. You’re the coward. You need another man to make a move before you can push through with your life.”

His glare was glacial. “The difference between me and you, Landen, is that I’m not afraid of my future. I trust my heart.”

I only offered a scowl as I peeled away. He was
a fool. Any man that would blindly risk his family, his world, for the sake of heritage was a fool.

A boy that had no doubt, a boy that was looking to stake a claim and rage war on darkness made those decrees Brady wants me to honor. That boy, or rather myself, was a fool. Darkness is within us all. I want to heal, not destroy. Why that concept is so hard for my family to grasp
, I will never understand.