Embrace, Entice, Emblaze (11 page)

I wondered if that was actually true, but I appreciated the sentiment. “No. Nothing like that— and anyway, I already hit him.”

She burst out laughing and I couldn’t help but smile for a

moment too. It had been ridiculous of me to try to use physical strength against him.

“Good for you. I hope you gave him a black eye!” she said with

false bravado. Steph had never hit anyone in her life.

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“I think my hand sustained most of the damage.” I flexed my

right hand. It was still aching from the ill- conceived punch.

She laughed again. “I’m deleting him from my contacts as

we speak.”

I nodded in agreement, even though she couldn’t see me.

“Delete away.”

“Why don’t you come over for a girls’ night?” she offered. “I’m fully stocked: DVDs and mint- chocolate ice cream.”

“Thanks, Steph, but I think I need to be alone.” I knew I’d be terrible company. Right now, the only person I could stand to be around was myself, and that was only because I had no say in the matter.

For what seemed like forever, I wandered the city aimlessly,

wanting to be somewhere else— wanting to be
someone
else. I thought about Griffin’s words. There had to be some other explanation, a way out of this mess. But somehow I knew he had been

telling me the truth. It was crazy to find out all of this stuff, to discover my whole life had been a lie. But even as I felt besieged by my new knowledge, I knew deep down it was all shadowed by

something else, something worse— my heart was breaking.

Eventually, my feet refused to carry me any farther. I turned the next corner and was disappointed to discover I’d subconsciously brought myself close to home.

I took the next turn onto my street and had to stop and lean

against a wall for a moment. I couldn’t breathe; every time I drew in air, it got stuck until finally I had to bend over, arms around my waist, and hold back the scream.

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When finally I straightened and moved through the crowd

of people on the pavement loading onto after- work buses, I saw Lincoln standing outside the doors to my apartment building. My heart, which a moment ago seemed to be shutting down for good,

bounced all over the place.

I had just spent God knows how long walking aimlessly around

the city like a mental patient in the making, and with everything swirling around in my head, one thought kept sneaking back in:
It
sounded
like
he
was
about
to
tell
me
he
loved
me
. I rubbed my face and pulled on a fistful of hair. Maybe if I had just accepted all the lies, forgiven him, and listened patiently as he explained, I could be in his arms right now. It was enough to make me reconsider my actions for a moment— but only a moment.

He seemed different as I took those final steps toward him. I had never seen him look so…scared.

All
his
grand
plans
at
stake!

“Go home, Lincoln,” I said, trying not to look at him, trying

not to stop.

“I know you don’t want to see me.” He put a hand out in front

of me, gently stopping me in my tracks. “But I have something that might help you. Might answer some questions. Can I come up?”

I looked down at his hands. He was holding a small wooden box

I recognized immediately. My eyes flashed up and then quickly back down. I didn’t want him to know I had seen a box just like it before.

“You can come into the lobby.” It was the most I could muster— a big concession on my part as it was.

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“I don’t think this is something we can do in the lobby.”

I raised my eyebrows at him and crossed my arms, daring him

to push his luck.

“Whatever you think of me at the moment, I
can
help. My car is over there.” He looked across the street to his black, four- wheel-drive Volvo. “Maybe we could talk in there. It won’t take long.” I had a mind to say no, but something in me, that increasingly annoying part that somehow couldn’t drag itself away from him, overruled.

Weak!

I followed him to the car and we got into our usual seats, though nothing was usual about today. Lincoln adjusted his position to face me, moving a little closer in the process. When he saw the look on my face he shifted back a bit.

“I was going to tell you, Vi. When you came over the other

night to start on your mural, I was going to tell you everything.

Quietly, properly. But then I bumped into your dad and he told

me…” His voice trailed off.

“So it ruined your plans,” I said wryly. “I’m sorry it was such an inconvenience for you.”

“No, that’s not it. I was glad you told me. It meant a lot. I just didn’t want to bombard you with all of this…I wanted to give you more time.”

I snuck a glance at him from behind the curtain of hair I’d

draped between us. His green eyes glistened and I swallowed hard before I shook myself out of it.

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“There were plenty of other opportunities, Lincoln. Just say

what you came to say.”

He took a deep breath. “I don’t know what rank you’re from

or what strengths you will have. You’ll only find out when you

embrace. As for sensing exiles…I may be able to do better than just tell you.”

He placed the small wooden box in my hands. As he did, our

fingers brushed ever so slightly and I flinched, moving my hands away. A look of pain swept over his face before he was able to

mask it.

I opened the box, which was almost identical to the one Dad

had given me two days earlier. It was covered in the same intricate carvings but it looked newer, not as worn down by time and hands.

Inside lay two wristbands. Like the one in my mom’s box, they

appeared to be metallic, but closer inspection showed they were again leather with a silver finish.

“What are they?” I asked, not conceding I had recently seen

another one.

“Connectors. We receive them from our angel guides when we

embrace. When we wear them, we’re able to take away an exile’s

power if we are locked with them in a physical hold. They also

enhance our ability to sense exiles. Most Grigori never take them off…” He stopped. I figured the end of the sentence was something along the lines of—
but
then, they haven’t been lying to someone
every day about who they really are!

“Try one on,” he encouraged.

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The words in my mother’s letter replayed in my mind.
Believe
in
the
unbelievable
. This was the choice she had known would lie ahead. Had she been a Grigori? I looked at the silver bands in the box that was not my mother’s but Lincoln’s. Everyone seemed to

know what was going on. Everyone but me.

Although I had held the band my mother had left me, I was still nervous to touch these. The thought occurred to me that Lincoln might have an ulterior motive, and my heart tightened at the realization that I had to now consider that.

“What happens if I touch them?” I asked. I placed the box down

on the center console just to be safe.

He nodded to himself slowly. “You don’t have to do anything

you feel uncomfortable with. When a Grigori first holds the

bands or puts them on, we experience a flush of the senses unique to each Grigori.”

“You
sense
something every time you put these on?”

“Yes— briefly, and then it goes away— unless an exile is near. It may not have any effect until you embrace anyway, but I thought it might help you understand.”

I bit my lip, considering just getting out of there. Since I’d

already bolted once today, it didn’t seem as dire to consider a repeat performance. It was that very thought that forced me to stay. I wouldn’t run again. I reached my quivering hand toward the bands, hovering over the closest one. I felt it before I touched it— a vibration, almost a hum of energy around it, like it was reacting to me.

I picked it up.

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When my fingers connected with the leather, I smelled…flowers,

fields of flowers. Like someone had sprayed perfume under my

nose. It faded just as quickly as it arrived. Then I heard birds flying, flapping, wings and trees swishing. I looked around for the source of the noise. There was nothing. I couldn’t decipher if it felt peaceful or chaotic. Moving my tongue around in my mouth

I thought I tasted something familiar…apple? But it was too brief to be sure.

Overwhelmed, I closed my eyes. The inside of my eyelids

flashed, like someone was flicking lights on and off. I opened them, but again, there was nothing, just Lincoln sitting in the same place, watching me intently.

The next sensation took me by surprise and my muscles seized.

Lincoln moved toward me instantly, putting a hand on my arm.

It felt warm against my skin, which was buzzing with a cool heat.

It was a conflicting sensation— hot yet cold at the same time. I heard Lincoln gasp and release my arm. He was saying something, but I couldn’t hear him over the sound of beating wings.

The intensity of the feeling traveling up my arm was building so much that I started to panic. I was about to drop the band when Lincoln again put a hand on my arm. Something like a cool wind

blew through my body, starting from within me and working its

way out, taking the odd sensation with it. I dropped the band and repeatedly clenched my hands into fists.

“Are you okay?” His voice soothed me.

I took a few breaths and gripped my legs hard. I needed to get

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control of myself. I needed to be stronger around Lincoln, not

show so much weakness, not anymore.

“I’m fine. Does that always happen?”

He was monitoring me carefully. “It’s a bit different for everyone.

They’re designed to enhance our senses, to alert us when exiles are near. Most Grigori will be able to get one sense strongly, like smell or touch; some feel more. What did you feel?”

I ignored his question. “What happens to you?”

“I hear birds and wind. I also smell flowers. Sometimes I think I might feel something, but I’m not sure. It’s unusual enough to have two senses so strongly, it would be unlikely I’d have a third. Griffin smells flowers too. We smell combinations mostly, but sometimes he says he can narrow it down a little to help identify an exile he has come across before and whether they are light or dark. It takes time to develop though.”

I thought about what I had
sensed
. I had definitely heard the birds and smelled the flowers. I was pretty sure I’d tasted apple, but I wasn’t positive. There had also been the weird light flickering and the cool heat at the end, but I didn’t know what that meant. I suddenly felt self- conscious.

“Does anyone get all of the senses?” I tried to sound offhand.

He studied me, searching my face. “No. Three is the most I’ve

ever heard of. Two is unusual enough. Vi, tell me what you felt.”

“Is it the same with the other one?” I said, looking toward the other silver band.

“Yes.” He was getting frustrated. “Violet, you’re avoiding the

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question.” He’d used my full name. It made me not want to answer him at all, but then I had been using his full name more and more today as well. I guess the distance was growing.

I considered telling him, but instead all I let myself say was, “I might have heard something. I’m not sure.” I looked down at my

hands, which were now clenched so tightly I could feel my nails digging into my palms, practically drawing blood. Lincoln reached over and covered them with his own and I couldn’t help it— I still wanted him. I relaxed my hands for a minute and he took hold of them gently. I closed my eyes, allowing myself a brief indulgence.

Then I took a deep breath, let it out, and pulled my hands away.

He let me.

“Violet?” he pushed. He knew me too well, but right now there

was no way I could afford to let my guard down any further.

“That’s it. That’s all I felt. I did what you asked, Linc, now…just…

just leave.”

I could see him warring with himself as he watched me get out

of his car, but I knew he wouldn’t fight me on this— and he didn’t.

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