Embrace, Entice, Emblaze (38 page)

I pointed to them. “I could try to heal those.”

It was intended as a peace offering, but it was too late. He threw down the towel he was using to dry his face. “Forget it. I’m not in the mood.”

It took me a few seconds to get it. When I did, my face burned

with mortification. “I…I wasn’t offering to kiss…I didn’t mean.”

“As I said. Forget it.” I noticed he hadn’t offered to heal any of my bruises.

“So what now?” I asked Griffin. He rubbed his forehead,

weariness showing. The circles under his eyes were darkening by the minute.

“I don’t know. At last count, Joel and Onyx between them

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especially since we keep losing good Grigori. They’re picking us off one by one and making sure we know about it.”

“Is that why they led me to the body…to Angus last night?”

“Partly, I think.”

“Griffin,” Lincoln interjected, “there’s a reason they’re targeting Violet. They fear her, but all they did last night was succeed in giving us a heads- up that there’s a problem with her powers. We need to find the cause.”

“Maybe I’m just defective,” I threw in defensively. He didn’t

bite; instead, he just turned his attention back to the nothing zone.

His restraint was impressive, as well as annoying.

“Either way,” Griffin stepped in once again, “we should prob-

ably arrange to have someone with you so this doesn’t happen

again. Lincoln? Can you stay with her tonight?”

My mouth flew open. “No!”

Lincoln gave a bitter laugh, shaking his head again. It made me feel about five years old.

“Umm…what I meant was…” I said, trying to regain a little

composure, “I’ve got plans tonight.”

“You’re going out?” Lincoln spoke quietly, but his disapproval

came across loud and clear.

“Yeah. I mean…Steph roped me into a night out. She says I

need some balance.”

“Steph and balance? I’d like to see that. So, I take it you’ve filled her in.”

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otherwise. I shrugged. “I’m not going to keep secrets from my

best friend.”

He was quiet. It occurred to me that I may have hurt his feel-

ings…again, since I’d accused him of so many secrets…I was more and more aware of how some of the hateful things I was saying to him must have been affecting him. Not that it was going to stop me. After talking with Steph and then Phoenix yesterday, my anger toward Lincoln was in overdrive.

“It was different,” Lincoln mumbled.

I didn’t say anything more and Griffin didn’t get involved in this one. I was just relieved he didn’t object to me having told Steph.

Instead, he started meandering around the apartment, looking at the art. He stopped in front of one of my favorite pieces of photography in the living room: an open field in pitch- black night lit by a bolt of lightning, which illuminated the silhouette of the field and a small white gatehouse in the distance. I was glad Griffin appreciated its beauty.

Eventually, Lincoln broke the silence. “You should still have

someone with you,” he said coldly.

“That’s fine. Phoenix is coming,” I retorted.

I tried to cover my shock at my willingness to go straight for the low blows by loading dirty cups into the dishwasher. I had to stop and grip the edge of the counter. I was holding on really tightly and I didn’t know if it was due to shame or the need to enforce restraint.

Even though part of me realized I was hurting him, I still wanted to.

You’re screwed in the head, Vi— absolutely nuts!

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Griffin joined us again. “We’ll be going out tomorrow to some

of the usual haunts to try to track down Joel and Onyx.”

“I’ll be there,” I said before he could ask.

“You will?” Lincoln seemed surprised.

“However I got here, Lincoln, this is what I am now.”

“That’s settled then,” Griffin said. “If you don’t mind though, Violet, it might be a good idea if one of us stays around until tonight at least.”

I took one look at Griffin and sighed. He was hanging over the

back of a chair, so tired he could barely hold his head up. Lincoln was seated on a barstool, looking anywhere but at me. I got the feeling he didn’t want to be stuck with me any more than I wanted to be stuck with him.

“I’ll stay,” he said without looking up.

I knew if I said I didn’t want Lincoln to be here, Griffin would only offer to stay in his place. “Fine,” I grumped.

Griffin left so quickly it was almost comical. Once upon a time, Lincoln and I would have laughed about it together.

Now, we just moved around the apartment awkwardly, avoiding

crossing into each other’s designated space, allowing long silences to stretch. Finally, after pacing the hallway for the seventy- fourth time— yes, I was counting— he came back to sit on the couch

opposite me, where I was slowly sipping my third coffee.

“You know, you don’t have to handle all this on your own. You

are allowed to let us help you. We have been through this ourselves.” My defenses reared before I had even realized it. “Yeah, and I

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suppose when you found out you were a Grigori, you just took it as a greater calling and ran off to do the trials.”

“Actually, no.”

I didn’t say anything else, frightened of what might come out

of my mouth if I opened it again. Lincoln stood and opened the

sliding doors that led to the terrace. I followed him out. I honestly had a moment where I considered not— for fear that I might lose it and throw him over the edge.
This
isn’t me.

“My mom was still alive when I found out, but she was sick and

struggling to run her business. Griffin found me and kind of took me under his wing. At first I didn’t want anything to do with it. I thought he was some kind of preacher trying to brainwash me into joining a cult.”

“Didn’t he just use his truth mojo on you?”

“Eventually. He doesn’t like using it unless he has to. By the time he did, I had started feeling the senses. Not like you did, but enough to produce that déjà vu feeling. That, combined with Griffin’s power, helped me open my eyes to what was going on all around me.”

He looked down, elbows resting on the railing, turning his

coffee mug in his hands. “My first encounter with an exile was

when I realized one had infiltrated Mom’s company. She was sick with cancer and, using glamour and control of her imagination,

he persuaded her to redistribute the funds of the business. What was once a company that donated profits to children’s charities and the homeless became a financier of war and weapons. Mom

and her whole company were under the illusion they were making

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good choices for the right reasons. They couldn’t see through all the lies and deceit. Through my essence, I knew there was something wrong. Griffin and Magda helped me work out the rest.”

“That’s why you still donate to kids’ charities.”

“It’s what Mom would have wanted.”

“So…you embraced?”

“Yes, but by that time it was already too late. Her cancer

had spread; she was dying. He poisoned her mind and her soul

completely. By the time I returned, he’d disappeared, but the

damage was done. She died a month later and I…I failed her.”

He stared into his coffee as if it were a mirror of his past. He tipped the rest over the edge and walked back inside to the couch.

I sat down opposite.

“
That’s
why I’m a Grigori.
That’s
why I believe in it. No one should have to be controlled by another being. We have free will for a reason.”

Instead of saying how sorry I was, instead of reaching out to

him the way he had done for me so many times, I curled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around myself, and said nothing.

After a while, Lincoln turned on the TV, and desperate to distance myself from him, I closeted myself in the bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the bath counting minutes, I let the shower run. When I finally emerged, he was gone. There was a note on the table.

I’m sure you’ll be fine until you meet up with Phoenix. See
you later.

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chapter
thirty- two

“Then you will know the truth…”

John 8:32

I was putting the fi nishing touches on my makeup when I heard

Steph’s signature knock on the front door.

“Mother of God! You look hot!” she said when she saw me in

my new clothes.

I smiled, feeling confi dent. “Are you going to constantly throw around the blasphemy from now on?”

“Gotta do what works for me.” She shrugged and waved her

hand at me. “Explain.”

I glanced back at the mirror— skinny black jeans, black jersey

silk top with a revealing neckline, and black patent high heels. It was defi nitely a more dramatic look- at- me outfi t than I usually gravitated toward. I couldn’t deny it; since the trials and the feel of the power coursing through my body, my confi dence had grown.

It was vain, but becoming a kickass Grigori had given me a glow.

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“It was time for a new look,” I surmised.

“Well, no arguments here. You look
a- ma- zing
.” She walked over to me, surveying me more closely. “There’s only one problem.”

“What?” I said. Trust Steph to find a problem.

“These,” she said, as she touched the silver bracelets on my

wrists. Along with new clothes and hair, I had bought myself an array of bangles to cover my wrist markings. “You’re better without them.” She raised her eyebrows, but her expression had softened. It didn’t take much for her to know how I was really feeling.

“People will notice,” I said, looking down, organizing the contents of my handbag. “I don’t want to spend all night explaining myself.”

“No one will notice, and even if they do, you can blow it off as a cool tattoo or something. Trust me!”

I looked at Steph dubiously, then took off the bracelets to please her. But as we were walking out the door, I quickly slipped them back on again to cover the markings.

There was a line a mile long when we arrived at Hades. Steph

spotted Marcus waiting for us. He was looking good, in that preppy boat- shoes kind of way. Steph might like some things a little crazy, but she definitely wants her guys clean- cut. I guess it’s another reason we’re best friends: we never fight over guys. She elbowed me as we got closer to him.

“He might not be an angel, but that doesn’t mean he can’t

give a girl a taste of Heaven.” We both laughed and I linked my arm through hers. It wouldn’t be long before those two got a lot closer— in the biblical sense, that is.

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Jase had made good on his promise and our names were at the

door. It was incredibly satisfying to skip the line and walk right on in.

The restaurant section had been closed for the night and all the tables were gone, making more room for people to stand and drink and dance under the dozens of chandeliers. This, however, also

meant that it was only open to over-twenty-ones. It hadn’t been a problem getting in since Jase had left our names at the door, but that didn’t mean it was wise to start ordering up at the bar and risk getting carded.

Marcus dutifully obliged, readying his fake ID before getting

drinks for us all and hauling them back through the crowds. There were people everywhere; the vibe through the whole place was

amazing. It felt good to be surrounded by fun for a change. Steph gave me a sip of her mojito. It was lethal and she was sucking it back like a Slurpee. I had visions of dragging her home at the end of the night. Much to Steph’s horror, I was just having a Coke.

Control was not something I was keen on relinquishing more of

right now.

When Steph finished her mojito in record time, she promptly

sent Marcus off to get her another concoction from the cocktail list.

“Has he ever actually said no to you?” I yelled over the music.

“He’s gorgeous, isn’t he,” she yelled back, oblivious that I was teasing her. I couldn’t blame her and smiled back; she was genuinely happy. “If your angel doesn’t arrive soon,” Steph added, “he might have more than just Lincoln to worry about.”