Embrace Me At Dawn (39 page)

Lucan focused on a fantasy in which Anka sat cradled on his lap, the moonlight shining on her rosy skin. In that vision, she heard his Call and opened her luminous eyes to smile at him, to Bind to him, then opened her mouth and her thighs to him. The vivid image pumped blood through his body in a rush. He got iron hard in an instant and couldn’t push his way inside Anka fast enough. He needed to feel his beloved grip him in all her tight, spectacular glory.

Lucan positioned her wilting body over him, the petals of her sex opening as he breached her with the head of his cock. He hissed at the fiery line of pleasure zipping down his body while he cupped her face in his hands and swept his lips over hers. Her cool lips didn’t deter him. Anka would come back to him, by God. Somehow, some way, he would restore her. If he had to exhaust and deplete himself to fill her with all his energy, reassure her with his every word and breath that he would never leave her alone again—whatever it took—he would do it.

Eating at her lips hungrily, he took possession of her body, pressing deep inside her, feeling her flesh stretch to accommodate him.
Bloody hell
… He groaned as he slid in to the hilt, and she squeezed him in welcome.

Every touch now was a revelation. Anka didn’t move with him, but her quick breathing, her pliant flesh, told him that she felt their connection every bit as much as he did. She might not yet have the energy to be with him physically, but mentally? They were fused together. She
felt
everything he did.

Anka gasped into his mouth as he lifted his hips up, driving deeper into her body as he feathered his lips over hers again and again.

“
You’re not alone, love. Do you feel me? Take me. Together, we’ll fight.”

She sighed into his kiss and leaned, grimacing until she wrenched one arm up, throwing it over his shoulder. Anka was reaching for him, wanting him! He thrust faster inside her.

“
That’s it, love. Move with me as much as you can. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Fuck, you feel so good.”

The soft grip of her folds closing around him and growing slicker by the moment twisted his entire body into a seething need he knew only Anka could fulfill. Lucan shoved aside everything but the soaring pleasure, the tingles jetting up his body, the heavy ache burning in his balls. He laid her head on his shoulder gently, then gripped her backside like a man possessed and shoved his way deep into her body, grunting with every upward thrust. Damn it, he had to give to her every bit of energy he could generate so she would open her eyes and become his again.

Her lush breasts bobbed enticingly against his chest. He lifted one of the distended peaks to his mouth and sucked hard, curling his tongue around her, nipping with his teeth, as he pushed into her snug sex again.

Anka arched. More of her gorgeous flesh filled his mouth, and he suckled it all greedily before moving to the other and doing the same. White-hot need seared him. Sweat joined the warm water rolling down his face. He moaned with every rough breath as he drove deeper into her.

She managed to raise her other arm and curl it around his neck, as well, then moaned softly. “Lu…can.”

“
Yes, love. Be with me. Feel me. I’m going to give you everything you need.”

“
So…tired.”

“
I know. Soon, you’ll feel better. Don’t give up now.”

“
Burning up.”

The residuals of Morganna’s spell? “You need me?”

She murmured a sound that he took for assent as he pounded into her tight, liquid sex with a roar. Ecstasy pooled like a thick, drowning quicksand. It sucked him under, scraping down his back to gather at the base of his spine. Tingles brewed there, boiling. Everything inside him tightened, compelling him to fuck her faster. He couldn’t goddamn breathe as desire stomped him flat. His heart drummed in his ears. The only other sound he heard over it was the rough sawing of his breath with every thrust in and out of her swollen pussy.

Fuck, he’d missed having her, making love to her in their house. He was bloody glad now that he’d never once managed to bring another woman into this room to try to exorcise Anka’s ghost haunting his soul. This space belonged to them and the love they’d always share, no matter what happened or how much time passed. Eternity eventually eroded everything, but Lucan swore not even it could tear down this love.

After today, she would be here with him always, beside him at night, the first face he saw each day. The lips he kissed. The woman he held. They would live and love forever.

Joy erupted at the same time pleasure peaked. He held her against his chest and curled his arms around the backs of her shoulders, fingers pushing her down onto his eager cock. He growled a primal sound of possession as ecstasy detonated inside him and blew him completely away. The sensation of being suspended in the cocoon of pleasure with her went on for long, gorgeous moments. Around him, her slick walls grasped him gently. Bloody hell, he wished he could send her into this climactic bliss with him, but she couldn’t afford the loss of energy. Not yet. Instead, he moaned against her mouth as he poured his seed deep inside her, vowing he’d make it up to her.

Finally, she opened her eyes, her mouth. And her soul.

She gasped as if coming awake from a dream and blinked at him, her amber eyes confused but alert. “You did it. You brought me through!”

“
I wasn’t giving up, love. I’m never giving up.”

He kissed her, his tongue sweeping into her mouth to begin showing her again exactly how much he meant that. And how much he loved her.

~ ~ ~ ~

Though every muscle in her body ached, despite the warm spray of water at her back, when Lucan ended the kiss, Anka lifted her lashes slowly, focusing on her surroundings. The bathroom, dimly lit by the moon and the light flooding in from the adjacent bedroom, was painfully familiar. Her eyes went wide. “You’ve brought me back…”
Home
.

She didn’t dare breathe the word, much less believe it.

Lucan cradled her face in his hands, fusing his gaze to hers. His intent stare willed her to listen. “To
our
home, yes. You belong here.”

The sweet words were nearly her undoing, just like those she remembered piercing her unconsciousness. “Y-you Called to me again?”

“
I can’t be any clearer about what I want, love.” The blueness of his eyes was magnified by the fringe of thick, black lashes. He ripped past her defenses and looked right into her soul. “Whatever Mathias did to you, however you think that’s damaged you, why ever you think you’re not good enough…it’s all shit. You and me and what we feel—that’s all that matters.”

“
I’m scarred.” He knew that, but still the words popped out like a confession.

Lucan shrugged. “I’ve picked up a few nicks in my hide these past months. The Anarki, Zain, Mathias, they’ve all taken chunks out of me here and there. I didn’t always care enough to acquire the energy to fix it.”

“
But my family, they aren’t…”

“
I mated with
you
, not your bloodline.” He frowned at her. “Love, you’ve always tried so hard to please me, and I adored you for it. But none of what’s worrying you is your fault. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. After you’d healed my mate mourning, I should never have let you go. I should have grabbed you, told you exactly how I felt, and refused to let you leave me. But I didn’t fight. Your rejection stunned me. I let it crush me. I took your refusals to mean that you no longer loved me.”

Guilt crushed her into a million pieces. She clapped a hand over her mouth as tears sprang to her eyes. “I loved you too much to drag you into what I’d become.”
And what I still am
.

God, he was stripping his soul so bare for her, how could she keep her banshee bloodline a secret? She couldn’t, if she wanted him in her life. She had to be honest with him. But how could she tell him such a terrible truth—one she’d kept from him for over a century?

Lucan snapped his fingers, bringing her focus back to him immediately. “Are you hurting? Need something?”

“
No.”

“
Then I don’t know where or why your mind wandered, but it needs to stay here, on us.”

Anka nodded. “Sorry. Yes.”

“
Good. When I’m done, you’ll tell me what’s on your mind, yes?”

“
All right.”

Softly, he kissed her lips, then withdrew reluctantly. “When I’m with you, I can breathe again. I feel whole, alive. I feel loved. No matter what else happens, I will keep pursuing you unceasingly until you either Bind to me again or look me in the eyes and tell me unequivocally that you no longer love me.”

Her heart nearly burst. He was so forthright, so brave with his feelings. That made her feel even more like a coward.

“
Lucan…”

“
Let me finish.” He held up a hand, then caressed her cheek. “I also understand that I didn’t give you all the loving guidance you needed when we were previously mated. I’ve talked to a man…a Dominant. I’ve been reading up. I understand now, love. God, I wish you’d told me.”

A deep flush swept up her body. Proper, perfect Lucan knew all her dark little desires? She tried to turn away, conceal her face. Lucan grabbed her chin and refused to let her hide. Still, she squeezed her eyes shut tightly.

“
Stop. Look at me. Now,” he demanded tenderly, waiting in silence until she complied.

When she dared to glance at him, his direct stare awaited, prying at her like a crowbar and opening up her soul. “Lucan—”

He pressed a finger over her lips. “Let me finish and don’t look away. Not being completely honest is part of what led us here. I might not have been able to stop Mathias from taking you or hurting you—and it bloody pains me to say that—but maybe if I’d been everything you needed and told you how worthy you are of love more often, you would have wanted to come home to me from the first.” He brushed her wet hair from her face and kissed her lips softly. “Let me assure you, there is nothing you want that I don’t. I always tried to treat you so gently. You’re delicate, and I often feared breaking you. I pushed down urges that I know now would have pleased you. I always wanted you desperately. I wanted to be deeper in your body and soul, but I worried about scaring or hurting you too much to do anything about it. That changes now.”

She looked up, her mouth gaping open. “But what about…” Hell, she couldn’t ask him for that. Could she? Anka swallowed, indecision gripping her. She hated being a fucking coward, but she cringed at the thought of his rejection.

“
If it’s on your mind, say it. This is the first of what I hope will be many negotiations between us, Anka. You’ll have everything you need. I have needs, too.” He dragged a hand down her back to cup her backside. She shifted on his lap, and his cock hardened inside her again, thick and insistent.

A bolt of desire trembled low in her belly. How easy it would be to surrender to his touch and just forget this conversation. But Lucan was right. If they were going to have any future, not clearing the air now would only come back to haunt them.

“
S-spanking?”

His grin widened. He lifted Anka up his cock slowly. “Absolutely. I’m looking forward to reddening your pretty backside.”

Pleasure suffused through her even as she felt another flush rush up to her cheeks, this time with a shy smile. “Will you…tie me up?”

“
Can you handle it?”

Anka nodded, then moaned when Lucan eased her up his shaft again. “Yes! It’s not something Mathias did to me.”

“
Good. Then yes.” He pumped into her again, agonizingly slow. “Fuck, yes. Feel me inching my way inside you, love?” She wriggled on his lap with a whimper, and he gripped her arse tighter, keeping perfect control. “I know you do. But do you feel all the love I’ve kept buried in my heart? I’m giving it to you as I stretch you wide so we can join as one again. I want you to feel all my need, my tenderness, my unconditional love filling you over and over. It’s all for you. Always for you.”