Embrace Me At Dawn (35 page)

Lucan turned on him. “Then why did you let her? You had to know… Her heart made a different choice. Of course this was going to cause her untold anguish.”

“
It’s not as if I encouraged her. I’d Called to her over a century ago. How was I to know that she’d pick this special fucking moment to finally accept?”

“
You couldn’t read her bloody mind?”

“
Not without feeling her pain, douchebag. So I stayed out of her head. Are you really going to blame me for this now?”

Anka listened to them argue, grimacing as the next wave of need dismantled her coping mechanisms and decimated her energy reserve. She screeched in agony. Both men lunged to her side.

“
Stubborn witch,” Shock grumbled. “If I could touch you, I’d paddle your arse.”

She tried to smile. “Can’t.”

“
But I can,” Lucan growled. “If you were any stronger…”

The worry on his face eclipsed any menace he might have been trying to convey. She reached out to touch him, then thought better of it. “Millie?”

Confusion twisted Lucan’s face, and Shock rolled his eyes. “Take her back to Bram’s, wankstain. She wants his aunt.”

Lucan looked ready to pound Shock’s skull into little pieces, and Shock’s raised brow certainly invited him to try. But they both backed down—for now. For her sake.

“
This isn’t over. We’ll be talking about this. He might be your…
mate—
” Lucan spit the word at her. “—but once you’re better, we’re going to talk about everything, you and I.”

She nodded weakly, aware of another heated rush flushing her body as Lucan drew near. Her womb spasmed. Her sex gaped and clenched. Her nipples throbbed. And the raw craving for him sapped her energy so very quickly.

God, was Morganna’s spell going to kill her?

Finally, Lucan cursed and brought her into his arms, against his chest. The pain eased a bit, and she sighed with the momentary relief. “Thank you.”

“
Don’t thank me yet,” Lucan snarled. “I’m not nearly done with you.”

~ ~ ~ ~

They teleported back to Bram’s house, and the moment their leader opened the door to admit them, his eyes widened as if he’d just seen flying pigs. Thankfully, Anka had passed out during the teleportation. The overload of pain making her scream had been more than Lucan could bear.

What had she been thinking, running away and Binding to Shock, especially while enduring Morganna’s spell?

“
I don’t know,” Shock admitted.

“
But bloody hell…” Bram’s accusing stare zipped up to Shock. “You let her Bind to you
now
?”

“
I’ve already covered this shit with bachelor number one.” Shock hooked a thumb in Lucan’s direction. “Ease up, you git.”

“
Where’s Millie?” Lucan demanded. “I want her to tell me more about whatever enchantment Morganna put on Anka. It’s sapping her energy too fast.”

And at this rate, it would likely kill her before it waned.

“
I’ll summon her.” Bram looked Anka over with grim eyes. “And tell her it’s an emergency. Put Anka back in the bedroom.”

Lucan charged up the stairs, aware of Shock a half-step behind. He wanted to tell the bastard to go away, that Anka wasn’t any of his business. But she’d chosen him to be her mate, though she knew her heart had decided otherwise. Why?

As he set her on the bed, he looked up to find Shock rubbing a hand over his tired face. “She’s doing this to free me.”

“
From your existence without sex? I’m fairly certain you’ve been having your fair share since she came to live under your roof.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice.

“
Yeah, and if that bugs the hell out of you, well, so sorry, Sir Galahad. But she spoke the Binding to me because she intends to let me go. Forever. Like you said, her heart chose, and it wasn’t me.”

Shock believed that Anka intended to break their bond?

“
Someone get the guy an award,” Shock quipped. “Exactly. How else am I ever going to be free to love someone else or whatever crap is running through her head?”

“
But why now? It might kill her.”

Meaty hands curled into fists. “I don’t think that idea bothers her the way it does you or me.”

Bloody hell
! “She didn’t fucking talk to me.”

“
Join the club. She’s really not the same woman anymore. Her independent streak is a mile wide now.”

“
Clearly.”

Lucan paced, trying to take it all in and understand the ramifications. “So Anka spoke the Binding and…hoped I would see your bond?”

He nodded. “Then lose your bloody temper and denounce her eternally so that once my bond with her was broken, you’d no longer give a shit. That’s my guess.”

He snorted. “That isn’t going to happen.”

“
Do you truly love her?”

Turning to Shock as if he’d lost his mind, Lucan frowned. “How can you doubt it?”

Shock looked at him as if he’d lost every shred of sanity. “You hardly demanded that she come back to you after she healed you from your mate mourning. You left her with me and didn’t fight for her. What was anyone supposed to think, except that your pride was more important than your love for her?”

Shock’s speech stung like a bitch. Worse, Lucan realized there might be a kernel of truth to it. He’d been so broken and angry when he realized that Anka hadn’t come home to him, and had assumed she’d rejected him for a prick he couldn’t stand. She’d broken his heart. And he’d been too proud to ask why.

“
Seeing the picture now? She cried herself sick when she teleported to your house by accident a few days ago and found you’d brought a surrogate there.”

She’d seen him leading someone else into their house while he’d been gearing up to close his eyes and pretend that he was no longer alone. Knowing that he’d hurt her badly stabbed bitter fury into his chest. That day, he’d been desperate to prove that he could hold someone else within those four walls that Anka still haunted with her presence. And he’d failed miserably. One look at Anka and all thoughts of another female had fled.

Now only regret remained.

“
I see you’re beginning to understand. You left me to pick up the pieces and blamed her for staying with me when you gave almost no indication that she mattered.”

“
That’s crap.” Lucan pushed him in the chest. “I begged her to come home.”

“
Once or twice. But she was hurting and terrified. She needed reassurance. When her spirit was bruised and her self-confidence battered, you took her refusals far too easily. After that, how the hell was she supposed to believe that you really cared?”

When the hell had Shock become Dr. Phil?

“
It’s not hard, you stupid prat, when I can read her fucking mind.”

There was that. “Why give me so many helpful hints when she’s your mate now? Morganna’s spell will wear off, and you could keep her for yourself then.”

Shock tossed his hands in the air. “It’s not me she wants. And I won’t take her free will. Is it such a stretch for you to believe that I’d do anything for her?”

At this point? “No, but isn’t there a part of you that wonders if, perhaps, over time, you could make her love you?”

“
She already loves me,” Shock assured him, totally confident in that assessment. “But not as much as she loves you. It fucking pains me to say that, but for her sake, I did. Don’t make me regret it.”

Lucan nodded, stunned. Shock wasn’t exactly who or what he’d believed or expected. His feelings for Anka had peeled back the layers and revealed someone more human, more sensitive—

“
Oh, blast it. You did
not
just think that I’m sensitive.” A scowl thundered across Shock’s face.

“
Not at all,” Lucan lied.

“
Spectacular. Now fuck off.”

After everything Shock had told him? “Sure. Happy to. Feel free to do the same.”

“
Once she’s well, absolutely.”

They both stared at Anka, who sighed softly, tossing and turning on the soft sheets of the bed. She needed his touch. Lucan realized it innately. It pained him to put a hand on her naked skin while her signature blared with the proof of her bond to Shock. But this wasn’t about him, and Shock had put him in his place.

Falling to his knees beside the bed, he cupped Anka’s cheeks. “I’m here, love. Stay with us. You’re going to be all right.”

At least he hoped that would be true.

“
Millie will be around in a tick!” Bram called up the stairs. “Sabelle will be back, too, to see if she can impart any calm to Anka with her siren ability.”

Perfect. Why the bloody hell hadn’t he thought of that sooner? Maybe Sabelle could ease Anka and help her survive the mate breaking. He prayed. A world without Anka… He shook his head and tried to quiet the terror in his belly. Knowing that she was under Shock’s roof had been gut-wrenching and terrible, but at least he’d always known deep down that he would have the chance to talk to her again. If she didn’t survive now, Lucan didn’t think he would either.

“
We have to believe that she’ll make it,” Shock grumbled, looking at her with a frown. “Fucking hate it when she goes pale like this.”

Yes, Lucan hated it, too.

“
Listen…the mate mourning.” Shock swallowed. “Is it really bloody awful?”

Lucan lifted his head, realizing that Shock would soon endure what he had after Mathias had destroyed his bond with Anka. Any other day, he would have rejoiced at the thought of the big, leather-wearing arse feeling pain. Today, it all just felt petty.

“
Beyond awful. I don’t remember more than constant agony, an emptiness inside me that nothing could fill, wrenching grief, and a fury that wouldn’t die.”

“
That does sound bloody fucking awful.” And Shock looked nervous as hell about it.

“
I don’t have any reassuring words.”

“
Then give me something, man. If I lose my fucking sanity, do me one favor?

At this point, as much as Lucan hated to admit it, he owed Shock a debt of gratitude.

“
All right. What do you need?”

“
When the bond is severed, if my mind snaps, just kill me.”

Chapter Three

“
We’re nearly finished,” Sabelle advised as she stuck her head out the bedroom door.

Stuck in the hallway waiting, Lucan wanted to pace, but sat fidgeting and restless. In the wingback chair beside him, Shock looked ready to crawl out of his skin.

“
This is bloody awkward.” He tried to make light of the situation. “Isn’t it? You sitting next to your current mate’s ex, waiting to become her ex, as well.”

Shock flipped him a glare. Lucan could see nothing behind the sunglasses, but he felt the heat of the wizard’s annoyance all the same. “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

So much for that line of conversation. Lucan tapped his toe, straining to hear any sound coming from the room, any indication of whether Anka was going to be all right. They all knew that Shock wouldn’t be once this was over.