Emeralds, Rubies, and Camouflage (6 page)

Holt couldn’t fix his scars but he could fine tune his body. As soon as the
doctors had let him he’d been in the gym pushing himself. As hard as he could and then some. No one seeing him walk or run now would ever know the trauma his bones and muscles had been through.

At least if they didn’t see his scars.

He rubbed his thigh and headed out the back of the house and straight for the hot tub. He’d soak for awhile and let the jets ease the soreness that he’d grown accustomed
to. It was a constant reminder of just how damn lucky he was to be alive.

The yard was shrouded in shadows, the only light from the moon up above, so it was a surprise when he realized that he wasn’t alone.

Myra was chest deep in the steaming and swirling water.

Her copper-colored hair was piled high on top of her head but a few tendrils had escaped and clung to her damp neck and curled around
her heart shaped face. She hadn’t yet seen him, and although it smacked of creepy stalking he stood there and watched as she let her head fall back and her lips part in a sweet sigh.

Mesmerized, his gaze wandered over the creamy skin of her shoulders and down to her full breasts that were pushed up by the swimsuit top. The water bubbled as her arms glided back and forth over the surface in a
soft slow rhythm that only she could hear.

The only sound was the tinkling of leaves or the chirping of crickets in the distance but he could smell the scent of fresh grass mixed with sharp tang of chlorine. There was nothing different about tonight. It could have been any one of a hundred nights just like it. Except for one thing.

Myra. She changed everything.

“I didn’t know you were out here.”

Holt’s voice sounded too loud in the dark silence and Myra must have thought so as well. With a half scream she sat straight up in the hot tub, her arms crossed over her chest as if to keep him from taking in the view.

He found himself moving forward, toward her rather than retreating which would have been his normal response. Something about her pulled and tugged at him, always keeping him near
and not at the safe distance he usually preferred.

“You scared me,” she breathed shakily. “I thought you were in the office working.”

“I was and then I worked out for awhile. Best way to get rid of stress. Do you mind if I join you?”

Stripping off his shoes and socks, he didn’t wait for her answer. He quickly submerged himself in the heated water, covering most of his scars, before stripping
off his wet t-shirt and tossing it in a heap on the concrete deck. In the past two weeks he’d become more comfortable around Myra and had even rolled up his shirtsleeves when they worked together. But getting a glimpse here and there wasn’t the same as seeing all of it in its horrific glory.

Myra levered herself from the tub and onto the edge. “I’ll give you some privacy.”

Some demon inside
of him wanted her to stay. He caught her wrist and shook his head, not sure what to say since she was probably doing the wisest thing by leaving. But that part of him that had been alone for so long…it was firmly in control tonight. Maybe a human being could only stand a certain amount of isolation before it was forced to reach out to another. He had Fiona and Bart, a few friends, his brother Beck,
and his parents.

It just wasn’t the same.

“You don’t have to leave on my account. Stay for awhile. Talk to me.”

Her lips parted as if to say no but then she smiled and sunk back down into the water.

“Thank you. I will stay. I’ve been working out after Amelia goes to bed for the last four days and I’m really sore from it.”

Since he had been closeting himself in the office he hadn’t known that.
“That’s great. I’m glad someone besides myself is getting use out of the gym.”

“Fiona and Bart don’t use it?”

“They have their own set up in their house, but they’re always welcome to use mine of course. As much as Bart works outdoors he gets a pretty good workout no matter what and Fiona says she likes to ride the stationary bike every now and then.”

They were quiet for a few minutes. Holt
didn’t know what to say but the quiet wasn’t uncomfortable. He let his mind wander, thinking about the day he’d had and what was in store for tomorrow. There was a crackle of static and a muffled voice and he jerked back to the present, instantly on alert.

“What was–”

“It’s okay,” Myra said quickly, holding up what looked like a small battery powered radio. “It’s Amelia’s monitor. This way if
she calls out for me I’ll hear it.”

Holt relaxed back down into the water. “That’s a good idea. Does she do that a lot?”

“No.” Myra shook her head and set the monitor back on the edge of the hot tub. “But since we’re in a new place and I couldn’t hear her from here I thought it better safe than sorry.”

“You’re a good mother,” Holt said and meant it deeply. Seeing her with Amelia these past
two weeks had shown him that Myra would do anything for her daughter. Even take a boring job like this one.

Instead of the smile he thought she’d give him she seemed to crumple before his eyes. Her lips quivered and a few tears ran down her cheeks. He moved to comfort her, patting her on the shoulder as she sniffled.

He had a feeling these tears had been a long time in coming.

*

Myra felt like
the biggest idiot on the planet. Holt was simply being nice, paying her a compliment, and now she was falling apart. Crying on his shoulder and being all emotional. It was a crappy idea. He was going to find out just how screwed up she was. The mistakes she’d made. The so-called rational explanations that had been anything but.

His warm fingers brushed at her tear-stained cheeks
leaving a trail of heat behind. And that was messed up too. The more time she spent with her handsome boss the more attracted to him she was.

He was a genuinely good man.

“Hey, easy there.” His tone was soft and soothing. “Everything’s okay. Everything’s fine.”

He had no idea.

Myra rubbed at her cheeks. As a redhead she wasn’t a pretty crier. Hopefully the dim light kept him from seeing her
in all her watery-eyed glory.

“It’s not okay. I’m such a failure,” she hiccupped. His thumb stroked the sensitive pulse point of her wrist and even in abject misery her heart rate sped up in response to his touch.

“Tell me how you’ve failed. I don’t see any of that.”

Sniffling, she swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed back a few strands of hair that had come loose from her topknot. “I’ve
made bad choices and they’ve affected Amelia.”

His brows pulled down as he placed his arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer to his large comforting body. “Amelia seems fine. Smart and happy. Is there something I’m not seeing?”

“She misses her father. Not that he was home much when we were together. He’s an over the road trucker so he was gone most of the time. But he was there. Now…he’s
not. He doesn’t call her or anything.”

“And how is this your fault? It sounds like this is on him.”

“No.” Myra shook her head again. “It’s my fault. I have lousy taste in men and now Amelia is paying the price. And the worst thing is I can’t fix it. I can’t make this better for her.”

If only Myra could feel pain and sadness for Amelia, she gladly would so her daughter would never know either
of those emotions.

Holt leaned down and tilted her chin so she was looking straight into his light blue eyes.

“Do you know why you can’t fix this? Because it’s not something you created. This is all on your idiot ex, if I may refer to him that way. He did this and he needs to own it. What was his excuse anyway?”

Clearly Holt didn’t have any patience for men who left their children. But maybe
she’d driven Bobby away. If so, then it was her fault.

“In the text Bobby sent he said he didn’t want to be a father anymore. He didn’t want to get married either. He’d met someone and she was fun. Not like me.”

Holt snorted with obvious disgust. “What makes you think you’re not fun?”

“I talked about bills, taxes, potty training, playdates, and a myriad of other things that Bobby wasn’t interested
in. He told me that I had let myself go after having Amelia and that I didn’t excite him anymore.”

His mouth a flat line and his eyes narrowed, Holt leaned down so they were practically nose to nose.

“That is the biggest load of shit I’ve heard in my life. Excuse me for saying this, but this Bobby guy sounds like a complete douchebag and certainly not good enough for you. Or Amelia for that
matter. Adults do things they don’t want to do. That’s practically the exact definition of being an adult. It sounds like he wants to be Peter Pan and stay a kid forever. Well, that’s fine but don’t bring a child into this world and then whine about how unfair life is. No shit. Life is unfair. Get over it.”

If anyone knew how unfair life could be it was Holt. And Myra had never heard one word
of complaint from this man even after all he must have gone through.

But admitting that Bobby was a loser wasn’t easy. He was Amelia’s father and Myra had chosen him – trusted him – after all. It didn’t reflect well on her.

“I know what you’re saying is true.” She pushed the words out that were so difficult to say. “I’ve spent years making excuses for him and waiting for him to grow up. I guess
he never will and it breaks my heart that my daughter is going to be the one hurt by this.”

Her voice choked and then broke, too emotional to continue. The most important job in her life was raising Amelia and she hadn’t done a great job so far.

“I think Amelia is lucky to have a mother like you that loves her so much. And I think eventually she’ll see who really loves her and has made sacrifices
for her.”

“He never calls her or anything. It’s like he’s fallen off the grid or something. I think that’s what bothers me the most. If he doesn’t want the day to day stuff…well, okay…but to just cut off all communication? That’s hurtful, and I don’t know how to explain it to her without making him sound like an ass.”

“And he is her father.” Holt sighed and squeezed her hand. “You’ve done the
right thing not bad mouthing him to your daughter. But I know it can’t be easy. Is he not sending any child support as well?”

Myra hated to admit her situation but she also didn’t like lying to someone she liked and respected so much.

“When Bobby left he cleaned out our joint checking and savings accounts. I haven’t heard from him since. Luckily I had a separate account and that’s what we’ve
been living on until I got this job.”

Holt muttered a couple of foul names under his breath before patting her on the shoulder gently. “That’s not fair to Amelia. I’m a lawyer and I can put a private investigator on the case. We can find Bobby and make him pay his share. It’s only right.”

She didn’t know what was right or wrong anymore. She wasn’t sure if tying him to her and Amelia financially
was the best long-term decision. If he wanted to be free then maybe it was all for the best. A clean break.

“I don’t want to force him to be a father.”

“He was there during the conception, wasn’t he?” Holt scowled, his tone hard. “Why should he get off scot free?”

“Yes, he was there. I can’t take the pill because it makes me so sick so we were using condoms. Then one day…we ran out… I guess
you can guess the result.”

Her cheeks felt warm remembering how stupid she’d been about possible pregnancy. “Pulling out” wasn’t a viable option but she hadn’t known that then.

“I want you to think about this, Myra. Think about finding him and at least have him pay his share of child support.” Holt tilted his head as he rubbed his chin. “Unless you don’t want him in Amelia’s life at all. Are
you hoping he’s gone forever?”

Myra had thought about this more and more as each day had gone by. She’d gone back and forth as the anger and hurt had waned but one thing stood clear in her mind.

“No, I want him to love Amelia. Visit her. Care about her life. I just don’t see that happening anytime soon. If at all.”

“Maybe you should find him and ask him that question. Then you’d know for sure.
I think he owes you that much. He sure as hell owes it to Amelia. Living in limbo like this, wondering if he’s ever going to call? That gives him all the power. Don’t you want to take it back?”

Myra hadn’t even realized she’d handed over all her power to Bobby. She had no idea how it had happened but somewhere she’d quietly given it to him without any struggle.

When did it happen? When they’d
moved in together? When she got pregnant? When he’d convinced her to stay at home with the baby because day care was too expensive? At a later point? Or had it been like a slow leak in a balloon happening month after month until Bobby called all the shots?

She didn’t have the answer but if she wanted her self-respect back things had to change.

“Can you help me find him?” Myra asked softly. “I
think you’re right. I do need to talk to Bobby.”

“I think I can. Tomorrow morning you can give me all the information you have about his last whereabouts and his employer. It shouldn’t take long to find him.”