Emeralds, Rubies, and Camouflage (9 page)

His hands, large and rough, cupped her face so she was looking up into his eyes. His chest rose and fell, his breath ragged.

“Yes or
no, Myra? If you don’t want this, send me away now because if I kiss you again I won’t have the strength to stop.”

His voice was soft and low, his mouth near her ear. Her brain function was muddled at best but one thing was clear. She wanted Holt more than she wanted her next breath. She’d been fighting a losing battle, but what pleasure there was in surrendering.

“Yes,” she sighed. “Yes.”

*

Blood roaring in
his ears, Holt lifted Myra into his arms and carried her across the hall to her bedroom, laying her gently on the turned-down covers. She reached for the bedside lamp but his hand stayed her movements. Tonight was so perfect he didn’t dare take a chance of letting her see him. What he’d become.

Darkness was his friend.

Always with the lights off, he’d had sex with women since
the accident but never with someone he’d truly had feelings for. If anything it had been cold-blooded, calculated, a physical release. Two people closing their eyes and pretending they were with someone they gave a shit about.

Tonight with this woman was completely the opposite.

Holt was only sad that the lack of light would keep him from seeing her beautiful body. But he could touch it. Trace
the curves with his hands and caress her soft skin, like satin. He wound his fingers in the long, silky strands of her hair, tipping her head back for another kiss.

“Holt,” she sighed when he lifted his head, his heart pounding and his lungs starved for oxygen.

He traced her lips with his tongue while his fingers went to work on the three buttons holding up her dress. They easily slid free and
he tugged the fabric over her hips and down her legs, tossing the dress onto a chair next to the bed. Her panties were the next to go and he kissed her knees and toes as they glided down her legs. He kicked off his own shoes and knelt at the end of the bed.

In the dim light he could make out her sweet curves and generous breasts. His cock swelled painfully against the zipper of his pants as he
ran his hands up and down her body, tracing every line and curve so he could commit it to memory.

Holt pressed open-mouthed kisses on her belly as he cupped her breasts. She moved restlessly underneath him as he trailed his tongue to her hard and pointed nipples. He traced circles around each of them before sucking one into his mouth and using the edge of his teeth.

Her fingers tangled in his
hair and she cried out softly, sending waves of heat licking along his flesh. He didn’t remember the last time he was so aroused, wanting this woman and no other. He nipped and licked a path over her rib cage and down to where hip met thigh.

Pushing her legs wide with his shoulders, he bent his head and flicked at her clit with his tongue, lightly at first and then with more pressure. Myra wriggled
and moaned, her fingers tightening painfully in his hair but he continued torturing her, tracing every fold and then lapping at her swollen clit. He didn’t stop until her legs were shaking and her body trembling as her orgasm took her over the cliff.

Kissing his way up her torso as she gradually came down, Holt retrieved a condom from the wallet in his pants pocket and set it on the nightstand.
Her fingers began fumbling with the buttons on his shirt but he quickly pulled back, undoing just a few if she wanted to slide her hands inside but not enough that she would be able to explore the damaged flesh in detail. The palms of her hands flattened on his bare chest, hot and eager.

“I want to make love to you too,” Myra whispered against his lips and his own body shook with the effort to
hold back. Every instinct he possessed was screaming to take her, bury himself so deep they wouldn’t know where he ended and she began. The alpha inside wanted to conquer, pillage, vanquish by bringing her more pleasure than she’d ever believed possible. More than with any man before him. Or after.

“You are. You have.” Holt nipped at the lobe of her shell-like ear and then laved the hurt with
his tongue. “It’s been awhile for me and I’m not sure I can hold back much longer.”

Truth be told, his cock was solid concrete and his aching balls were pulled up tight. He reached down yanked open his pants and pulled them down just enough so his cock finally sprang free. Her soft fingers immediately wrapped around it, dragging a tortured groan from his lips even as arousal raced through every
muscle and bone.

“Baby,” Holt growled. “Take it easy on me. I want you so goddamn much.”

“Yes, now.” Her tone of urgency matched his own and he hastily grabbed the condom from the bedside table, ripping it open and rolling it on with shaking fingers.

He lined up his cock with her slit and pressed forward, hot, wet velvet hugging every inch of him and almost sending him over right away. Gritting
his teeth, his jaw aching, he moved slowly, letting her adjust to his size. She was tight, the walls of her pussy gripping his cock with each stroke.

His pulse pounded in his head and sweat pooled on the back of his neck as he called on every bit of strength he had to hold back, make this wonderful for her. Her fingers were digging into the muscles of his back and even through the cotton of his
shirt he could feel the edge of her nails. Her passion spurred his own and he built up speed, thrusting hard and fast.

Her breath was coming faster now and her hips lifted off the bed to meet every stroke. He didn’t think he was going to make it, the pressure building unbearably in his lower back when her pussy clamped down on his cock and she cried out his name. His own orgasm hit him like a
freight train and he thrust in one last time as his cock jerked and swelled.

Groaning, he slumped over her as he dragged air into his starved lungs. Her hands were stroking his damp back through his shirt and she pressed kisses on the exposed flesh of his neck.

“I need to take care of the condom, sweetheart.”

Holt pulled away slowly and swiftly dropped a kiss on her nose before padding into
the bathroom. A few minutes later he came back out to find Myra sitting up in bed, covers pulled to her neck, but the bedside lamp on.

He’d needed that time in the bathroom alone to come to grips with what had happened between them. It had been a far cry from the almost clinical coupling he’d experienced since the accident. He’d forgotten what it was like to be with someone he gave a damn about.

And he more than gave a damn about Myra.

The only thing he didn’t know was where they went from here. He wasn’t sure he was capable of having a normal, loving relationship anymore. So much had happened. He’d changed.

Just because he wanted something didn’t make it so. Even if you had loads of money. It simply didn’t work like that. He’d found out the hard way.

“You’re scowling,” Myra observed
as he neared the edge of the bed. “Was it that bad?”

She wasn’t smiling or laughing so he didn’t think the question was in jest. He shook his head and sat down next to her, his hip pressing against her thigh.

“No, just the opposite.” He wasn’t ready to reveal everything he was feeling. It put him in too vulnerable of a place. “But I’ve never slept with someone who worked for me before. I might
just have ruined everything. Have I? Are you angry? Do you have…regrets?”

“No,” she said softly, her hand coming to rest on his knee. “Do you?”

“No. I’m just not sure where we go from here.”

The corners of her mouth tilted up in an almost smile. “I imagine that’s bothersome for you. You like to know all the answers and every move.”

She already knew him well.

“Maybe we should just sleep on
it and talk again in the morning,” Myra offered. “I doubt there is much to be gained by doing a post mortem right now.”

His breathing immediately became easy with the flood of relief her words brought. It was chicken shit to be this glad but he needed to think about whether he was ready to…try. Myra was dangerous in that she was the first person in years that had the ability to truly hurt him.

If she were so inclined.

He wasn’t sure he was ready for that. If he ever would be. It was easier to hide himself away in this house day after day, week after week, only coming out every now and then while the rest of the world went about their business.

Never letting anyone in was safe.

“I think that’s a good idea. We can talk about it tomorrow after we’ve both had a good night’s sleep.”

He leaned down and kissed her soft cheek and brushed her silky hair out of her eyes. Despite the maelstrom of emotions that churned in his gut one thing was clear – he wanted to touch her. Leaving her after their lovemaking and going back to his own rooms was like ripping off a limb. His body yearned for hers but his mind was saying slow down.

His mind won.

“Goodnight, Holt.” Myra’s brown eyes
gave nothing away – happy or sad. He left her room with the niggling feeling that he was making a mistake. He should turn back before it was too late. Hold her all night long and make love until they were both thoroughly exhausted.

That was his heart talking.

He thought it had been mortally wounded in that bombing but it was – to his shock – very much alive.

‡

E
verything between Holt
and Myra had changed. She could feel it and it wasn’t for the better.

The two of them plus Amelia had an awkward and tense breakfast. Myra and Holt picked at the pancakes she’d made while the little girl chattered on and on about what she
wanted to do that day. They both tried valiantly to pay attention, but their minds were far away, still in Myra’s bedroom.

She’d had an awful time trying to sleep last night. The whole room seemed to smell of Holt and sex, especially the sheets. Finally around three in the morning she’d fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion, no closer to knowing how to handle things than she’d been hours before.

By the time Fiona and Bart showed up mid-morning Myra’s nerves were stretched taut and she wanted to stand in the middle of the house and scream at the top of her lungs. Holt looked no better, dark circles under his eyes and curt answers to every question. It must have obvious that something was going on between her and Holt because the older couple immediately offered to take Amelia to the horse
barn.

“I guess they could tell we needed to talk,” Holt said after the couple retreated with Amelia between them. “I don’t know about you but I think I need more coffee.”

There wasn’t enough caffeine in the world to make Myra alert, but she nodded and followed Holt into the bright, cheery kitchen that seemed to mock her gloomy mood. Last night with Holt had been the best of her entire life but
from his guarded expression this morning she was pretty sure he didn’t feel the same way.

Once again she’d let her dreams and fantasies rule her better sense. What she knew about men would fit on the head of a pin.

“So…did you come to any conclusions?” She poured two cups of coffee and added cream and sugar in hers. She held the spoon tightly so he wouldn’t see her shaking hands.

“Sort of.
What about you?” His expression was guarded as if he was afraid she was going to stomp her feet and yell.

Totally not her style. She had a temper but it was usually a small, contained explosion followed by remorse. As she’d come down the stairs this morning she’d vowed to hold on to any anger he might ignite. There was too much riding on this. It wasn’t just about her, it was about Amelia and
how happy and settled she’d become.

Myra wrapped her hands around the mug and sat down at the kitchen island. “I did a lot of thinking last night and I came to one conclusion. The most important thing to me is my daughter. Everything else comes in a distant second. If she’s happy and healthy, then any other problems are minor.”

Holt still stood, his gaze directed out of the window to the empty
backyard. “Am I in the pro or con column when it comes to Amelia? I care for your daughter very much.”

A lump formed in Myra’s throat as she remembered Holt with Amelia last night. She had given him a hug and a kiss, her little face alight with love for this man. But Myra’s own feelings weren’t as clear. It was too soon to call what she felt for Holt love. But it was something and she wanted
to continue to explore those emotions if given the chance.