Emily's Choice (8 page)

Tim and the
nurse opened the door to the exam room, and Jason followed them out only to
stop quick and pop his head back in. “Tim and I are going for a drink. Find
your own way home.” With that he quickly shut the door and laughed when he
heard something land against it.

Jason
followed Tim to his office and sat down heavily in the chair. “Thanks, man, I
owe you.”

Tim shook
his head. “Nah, I’m happy to help.” He reached inside his desk drawer and
pulled out a bottle of Scotch and two glasses.

“I thought
that only happened in movies.” Jason grinned, indicating the hidden booze. He
toasted Tim with his glass before throwing the contents back. It burned its way
down his throat, but Jason was glad for it. He needed it and as the Scotch
warmed his stomach, a feeling of freedom exploded within him. He was so damned
happy the situation with Lila was over.

Tim poured
them each another glass, and sitting back against his chair, he studied Jason. “So,
what are you going to do about Emily now?”

“I’m going
to do my best to get her back.”

“How?”

“No idea.
But this should help,” Jason said, raising the glass.

The nurse
came in with cleaning supplies and sat down next to Jason.

Jason shook
his head. “I’m all right.”

“Let her
clean them up. Who knows what kind of poison she has under her nails.” Tim
laughed.

“Good point,”
Jason acknowledged and tilted his head so she had better access to clean the
wounds.

Forty-five
minutes later, Jason practically skipped out of the office building to his
truck. Slamming the door shut, he rolled down the windows to get rid of Lila’s
perfumey
smell that had been trapped in there all day.

Relief
flowed through him along with a new sense of purpose. He’d conquered one
battle. But he still had the war to get through. It was time for him to
finalize his plan of attack to win the love of his life back.

Two
weeks later

Emily was
beginning to wonder if Sadie would ever make an appearance. She was two days
late and exhausted. Stepping from the shower onto the cold tile floor, she
reached for her towel when she felt a trickle of something running down her
legs. “Grace? Unless I just peed myself, I think we’d better head to the
hospital!” As soon as the last word was out of her mouth, a flood erupted from
her body, creating a puddle around her freshly showered feet.

“Okay,
darling, stay calm,” Grace soothed, rushing into the bathroom. “First babies
usually take their time,” Grace explained, guiding Emily into the bedroom.

“It couldn’t
have happened just thirty seconds earlier while I was still standing in the
shower?” Emily asked as she started to pull on her clothes.

“Where’s
your Go Bag?”

“In the
closet. My phone and charger are here, and my purse should be in the foyer.”
Emily pulled her hair into a bun and waddled out to the living room. “Do you
feel comfortable to drive or should I call a taxi?”

“Let’s call
a taxi so I can focus on you during the ride.”

“Sounds good
to me. Ready?” Emily asked.

“As we’ll
ever be,” Grace grinned.

At the
hospital, they were first seen by a doctor who didn’t seem older than a
teenager to Emily.

“You’re only
three centimeters dilated so far,” the young doctor announced.

When Dr.
Robbins finally arrived, an hour later——thanks to another baby who decided to
show up four weeks early—she did her own exam. “You’re still at three
centimeters, Emily. I think it might be a long night.” She smiled.

“Are there
any concerns about the preeclampsia?” Emily asked, twisting the blankets in her
fingers.

“Yes. We
want to keep you safe, which is why we’ve got the blood pressure cuff on to
automatically check your numbers. And the fetal monitor will tell us if Baby
Girl is under any stress.”

“Can I get
up and walk around once the pains start?”

“I’d rather
you didn’t. I don’t want another excuse for your blood pressure to go up.”

When Dr.
Robbins slipped out, Emily rested her head against the pillows and closed her
eyes. There was no pain yet, and she figured she’d better get some rest now.

Grace walked
over and placed a cool cloth on Emily’s forehead. Emily smiled and reached for
Grace’s hand. “I love you, Mama G.”

Just then,
pain, unlike anything she’d ever known, ripped across her stomach. Gasping for
air and clutching the blankets, she panicked. Alarms started to sound, the
noise doing little to calm Emily down.

Grace shot
to her feet and grabbed Emily’s hand. “Breathe, Emily. In through your nose and
out through your mouth.”

Emily sucked
in air and let out a whimper as the contraction subsided.

The nurse
barged into the room. “What’s going on?”

“I think
Emily had her first real contraction,” Grace told the nurse.

The nurse
took Emily’s vitals, checked the printout on the fetal monitor, and set the blood
pressure cuff to start. Three seconds after the cuff started to constrict,
another contraction ripped across Emily’s stomach.

“
Ahhh
!” Emily yelled.

Grace got up
on the bed and sat behind Emily. Pulling Emily against her body, she spoke
firmly into Emily’s ear. “Breathe, Emily.”

Grace
glanced up at the nurse and mouthed the words requesting Dr. Robbins’s presence
now. The nurse nodded and quickly left the room.

Grace poured
some of the ice water on a washcloth from the bedside table. She held it to the
back of Emily’s neck for a few seconds and then moved it to Emily’s forehead.
Back and forth she went until the next contraction.

Emily
squeezed Grace’s hand and the bed railing, bending and raising her legs. “I
want to push,” Emily moaned.

“Not yet.
Wait for the doctor.”

“I can’t!”
Emily yelled.

A few
minutes later, Dr. Robbins walked into the room. “Doctor, please,” Emily
begged. “I have to . . .
Owwww
!” Another contraction
ripped its way across her abdomen. Gritting her teeth, she couldn’t wait
another second. Bearing down, she pushed with all her strength and shrieked
with the effort.

“Emily!” Dr.
Robbins yelled. “Stop pushing!” She stuck her head between Emily’s legs while
the nurse called out the blood pressure numbers from the past thirty minutes.
She quickly and gently checked Emily’s progression. “You aren’t fully dilated,
Emily. You have to stop pushing or you’ll rupture.”

“It hurts,”
Emily wailed. “Oh God, it hurts!” she screamed as another contraction took
hold.

“Doctor,
this isn’t normal. What’s wrong?” Grace asked urgently.

Dr. Robbins
put her hands on Emily’s belly to feel the position of the baby and then
checked the fetal monitor print out.

“I’m going
to set up an O.R. The baby is in distress, and we need to get the baby out. I’ll
be right back.”

Dr. Robbins
rushed out of the room, and the nurse began to prep Emily for surgery. “Ma’am,
I need you to get off the bed,” the nurse said kindly to Grace.

“Mommy!”
Emily shrieked. “Oh God! Please make it stop!” Emily hunched over her belly,
hoping the new position would lessen the pain. One second it felt as if she was
being torn apart from the inside out and the next there was nothing but sweet
oblivion from the pain. Emily sighed with relief and turned her head to the man
sitting beside her. “Who are you?” she asked in a hoarse whisper.

“Dr. Stark.
I’m your anesthesiologist.”

“She’s
looking a little green, Stark,” Dr. Robbins said.

Dr. Stark
whipped a bowl in front of Emily’s face to catch the vomit just as Grace walked
into the O.R. She raced to Emily’s side.

“Is she okay?”

“Yes,” Dr.
Stark assured her. “It’s a fairly common reaction to the anesthesia.”

Grace stood
by Emily’s head and held her hand. “I’m here, darling,” she whispered in her
ear.

“Emily?” the
doctor asked.

“Hmmm?” She
smiled up at her.

“I’m going
to start now. You’re numb from the chest down. Can you feel this?”

Emily felt a
slight tugging but no pain. She shook her head and closed her eyes. “Whatever
you say, Dr. R. I trust you.” Emily smiled, eager to meet her precious
daughter. Dr. Robbins nodded and got to work.

The next
thing Emily heard was the sweet, sweet sound of her daughter’s cry. “Sadie?”

“Indeed she
is,” Dr. Robbins announced happily. “You have yourself a beautiful daughter.”

Dr. Robbins
raised Sadie over the barrier, and Emily smiled. “Can I hold her?”

“For just a
couple seconds,” she said, placing Sadie on Emily’s chest before closing up
Emily’s incision.

Emily felt
her heart explode with love as she gazed at her daughter. “Oh, you’re so
perfect,” Emily said softly. She trailed a finger along Sadie’s cheek and
circled the impossibly tiny ear. What a miracle.

This tiny,
perfect human belonged with Emily. She was Emily’s special gift from God. A
gift she’d never take for granted. She fell in love with her princess at first
sight. Nothing and no one would ever come between them.

A nurse came
to collect Sadie, and Emily’s arms tightened involuntarily when the nurse tried
to take her. “No, not yet. Please?” Emily pleaded.

“I’m sorry.
I’ll bring her back in a couple of minutes.”

Emily forced
herself to relinquish Sadie.

“She’s
beautiful, Emily. You did amazing,” Grace gushed.

“She’s
perfect, Mama G.”

At this
moment, she didn’t know what the future held in regards to her friends or
family, her new life in Boston, or even with Jason. What she did know, though,
was that her heart belonged to Sadie, and she made a promise to God, right
then, to love, cherish, and protect the miracle gift He had bestowed on her.

*****

“She’s
resting now. The baby, oh my gosh, the baby! Sadie is just beautiful, Jason,”
Grace gushed.

“Do you have
a picture?”

“Yes, I’ll
send it right now. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that sooner!”

“I’m online
now and there’s a flight, a red-eye, tonight. I have plenty of time to make the
flight.”

“What time
does it arrive in the morning?”

“A little
after nine.”

“That will
work. I can pick you up on my way to the hospital.”

“I’ll be a
mess. Maybe I should catch a cab, get cleaned up at the hotel, and then make my
way to the hospital?”

“If you’d
rather, that would be fine.”

“I think so.
I don’t want to look like a bum when I see my daughter for the first time.”

Grace
laughed. “Fair enough.”

“Oh, Grace,
she really is beautiful,” Jason said with awe.

“I know.
Just wait till you see her in person. And hold her. She’s darling. Just the
most perfect thing ever.”

“I wish I
was already there.” He sighed. “See you tomorrow.”

“Fly safe.”

“Oh, Grace,”
Jason said quickly before she had a chance to hang up.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”
He hoped she understood. She was his lifeline, his partner in crime, even
though she didn’t have to be. Her allegiance was to
Em
,
but she was helping him. He owed her more than he’d ever be able to repay.

“You’re
welcome.”

Jason hung
up, a huge smile stretched across his face. He had a baby girl. She was finally
here, healthy and safe. He couldn’t wait to see her.

And he
couldn’t wait to see Emily. He prayed this would be the boost he needed to win
her back.

“Landed,”
Jason texted to Grace. “See you in about 2 hrs. Less if I can manage it. Will
text when I get to hospital.”

He’d carried
his luggage on so he didn’t have to wait around for baggage claim. As soon as
the plane stopped, he unbuckled and stood. He reached above his head and
brought down his suitcase. Glancing at the little old lady he’d had the
pleasure
of sitting next to the whole way from Santa Fe, he reached up again and brought
down her carpet bag. Not even kidding, straight out of
Mary Poppins
, she
carried it with two hands.

He put his
book in the front pocket of his suitcase and put his phone and headphones in
his front pocket. He’d sure gotten his money’s worth out those headphones by
listening to music and pretending he didn’t notice the little old lady’s
attempts at conversation. He’d obliged her for the first half hour of the
flight, but when she’d gotten up to use the restroom—a total of ten
times!—
he’d put those babies in his ears and done his best
to tune her out. He pulled out his wallet to double-check he had his driver’s
license and, once satisfied, put his wallet back in his pocket and waited for
his turn to deplane.

Ever the
gentlemen, he waited for the little old lady to walk out in front of him and
cursed his manners as he had to walk behind her extremely slow gait the whole
way up the
Jetway
. Once out into the terminal, he
double-timed his pace and rushed outside to hail a cab to the hotel. He gave
the cabbie the address to his hotel, not far from the airport, and settled back
into the seat to take in the scenery. Only his second trip to Boston, it was
still new to him and took his breath away. The ocean blew his mind. It was
incredible and he was in awe of the beauty of it. The dark blue water, the
disappearing horizon, the ships, some of them massive but yet gliding
gracefully across the choppy surface. It was an overcast day, much different
than the bright sunny day during his first visit, and he was amazed at the
difference in the shade of the water color.

Ten minutes
later, the cabbie pulled up in front of his hotel. He paid his fare and jumped
out of the cab, dragging his suitcase behind him. Once checked in, he rushed
across the foyer and hopped on the elevator. He barely cast a glance about his
room. He deposited his suitcase on the nearest bed, removed his toiletry bag
and a change of clothes, and hurried into the bathroom to shower, shave, and
get dressed.

Thirty
minutes later, clean, refreshed, and clean-cut, he slipped out of the room and
made the journey back to the lobby. It was then he realized he had no idea
where he was supposed to go. What hospital were they at?

He pulled
out his phone and texted Grace. “Where am I going? What hospital?”

He waited
for what seemed like forever before Grace replied.

“Oops, that
would be helpful, huh? Brigham & Women’s Hospital - 75 Francis St.”

“Thanks!
OMW!”

A short ride
later, he pulled up outside the hospital entrance. Not wanting to show up empty-handed,
he ducked inside the gift shop and found a beautiful Christmas cactus, in full
bloom, for Emily. He thought it would be better than his usual bouquet of
flowers, something that wouldn’t die after a week, and something, other than
their daughter, to remember this special day by.

He chose a
small pink and white teddy bear for Sadie. It had the year stitched into the
foot and a bright yellow bow around its neck. Its long fur was as soft as an
angora sweater.

After paying
for his purchases, he went to the info desk and asked for directions to the
maternity ward. He was surprised to find a high level of security awaiting him.
Gone were the days when anyone could venture to the nursery and moon over the
babies. Nope, now it was a lot like trying to get into Fort Knox.

After
showing his ID, calling Grace down to vouch for him, signing a form, having his
picture taken, and then being issued his own hospital ID, he was finally on his
way to meet his daughter.

“Emily’s
showering and then her doctor should be in to check her incision. Sadie’s in
the nursery, so let’s go see her first.”

“Works for
me,” he replied, slowing his gait to match Grace’s. No need to rush now that he
was here. “How’s
Em
doing?”

“She’s sore,
as expected. The birth was hard, and no one was expecting an emergency C-section
to be necessary. She’ll have a longer recovery time now.”

“Are you
planning on staying?”

“Yes, as
long as she’ll have me.”

“You know
she’ll have you forever.” Jason smiled.

“I know, but
how long do you think Clint can manage without me?”

Jason
nodded. They stopped in front of the nursery windows, and Jason scanned all the
bassinets. Grace had texted a picture of Sadie to him, but he couldn’t
distinguish one baby from another—other than to know the pink hats were girls and
the blue hats were boys.

“There she
is.” Grace pointed.

Jason
followed her finger and saw a baby with a polka-dot pink and white hat. His
heart skipped a beat and then melted into a puddle at his feet. There she was,
his
baby girl. Sadie. She was the most precious and beautiful thing he’d ever laid
eyes on.

“Can I hold
her?” he breathed, not wanting to take his eyes off her.

“Not here,”
she replied, patting his back. “Rules and regulations. You have to wait until
we’re in Emily’s room.”

“Will
Em
even let me in?”

“Good
question. I haven’t told her you’re here, yet.”

“Of course
not, I just got here.”

“No, I mean,
I haven’t told her you’re here. In Boston.”

“
Graaaaace
,” Jason exclaimed. He swung his eyes to her face
and stared hard.

Raising her
hands in defense, she shushed him. “Surprise, Jason. We need the element of
surprise.”

He shook his
head. “Uh, uh—she’s going to be pissed.”

“Probably,”
she agreed. “But this is the best way, trust me. She won’t have had time to
think about it, won’t have had time to come up with excuses or a chance to
forbid your presence here.”

“This seems
wrong,” he hedged.

“It’ll be
fine. I’ll make sure you get to stay at least long enough to hold your baby
girl. I promise.” She smiled and squeezed his arm. “Let me go down and see how
she’s coming along. Stay here and ogle your baby.”

He nodded
and watched her walk away, knowing this was the wrong path but unable to stop
the hurricane that was Grace
Camancho
.

He turned
back to the window and placed a hand on the glass. It made him feel closer to
Sadie, and until he got to hold her, it was as close as he could get.

She looked
impossibly tiny in the bassinet, despite being swaddled. The blankets seemed to
swallow her up, just her tiny face was visible. And that cute hat. He looked
around, no other child had a hat like it, so he figured either Grace or Emily
brought it with them from home.

He stood
like a statue, staring at this baby. He couldn’t wait to hold her. He hoped
Emily would let him stay so he could get to know the baby. There wasn’t much
happening around the ranch right now, so he could stay indefinitely. The only
request his father had made was for lots of pictures to be sent his way. Sadie
was his only grandchild, and it bothered him greatly that there was so much
distance between where she would be growing up and where he lived.

No, Jason’s
mistake hadn’t only ruined his life. It had rippled out too many others’. Jason
was all his father had left, and Joe had been over the moon about the wedding
and the baby. His wish had been for
Em
to have lots
of babies and she’d seemed to be on board with that wish.

But then he’d
gone and gotten piss drunk with the guys and Lila had happened. He hadn’t lost
control like that since. A beer or two with dinner or while out with the guys
was all he would allow himself.

Argh. Would
Em
ever forgive him? He was betting on no but wishing on yes.

“She’s just
finishing up with the doctor,” Grace said, breaking him out of his reverie. “Let’s
sign Sadie out of the nursery and bring her down to the room so you can hold
your little darling.”

“Maybe you
should give her a little warning.”

“She doesn’t
need a warning. And besides, I’ve just had an epiphany.” She grinned hugely. “You’re
this baby’s father. You don’t need permission to be here.”

He felt like
his eyes were getting a workout with all the eye rolling he was doing today. He
loved Grace, he really did, but sometimes he wondered whether he should even
listen to her advice.

But it didn’t
matter now anyway because they were at Emily’s door, and Grace was opening the
door and walking through, pushing the bassinet.

He held the
bear and the cactus in front of him, a peace offering of sorts. It wasn’t what
he wanted the gifts to be, but he had a feeling he was going to have to use
them as such.

She didn’t notice
him at first as she only had eyes for Sadie. He was glad for it as it gave him
a chance to drink her in. She certainly didn’t look like a woman who’d just
given birth, and a difficult one at that. Her hair shone in the fluorescent
lighting, she wore a light application of makeup and had on a stretchy pink
tank top and a pair of black yoga pants. Her toenails were painted a bright and
cheerful pink.

As she held
Sadie, her face was a picture to behold, full of awe and gratitude. She stroked
one finger down the baby’s face, across her nose, and down the other side. She
traced Sadie’s ear and gently caressed her bald head. She tucked her finger
inside Sadie’s hand and placed a sweet and gentle kiss on her forehead.

When she
glanced up, he could see tears in her eyes and just like that, the moment was
gone.

“What are
you doing here?” she growled. “Mama G, did you know he was here?”

“Of course I
knew, I invited him. Not that he needed an invitation, mind you. He is the
father, after all.”

“I don’t
want him here.” She turned her eyes to him and glared. “I don’t want you here.”

“I came to
see the baby,
Em
. Our baby.”

Her eyes
went to slits, and he knew, if she weren’t holding the baby, she would have
launched herself at him.

“Get out,”
she hissed. The baby must have sensed Emily’s distress because she began to
fuss. “Now look what you’ve done.”

“He hasn’t
done anything,” Grace chided. “She’s reacting to your emotions. Calm yourself
down and the baby will relax.”

“I’ll calm
myself down once he’s out of here.”

“He’s not
going anywhere, and you’re going to grow up. You’re a mother now, stop acting
like the baby you’re holding.” Grace gently took Sadie out of Emily’s arms and
walked her over to Jason.

“Uh,” he
mumbled, trying to decide what to do with the gifts he’d brought.

“Set them on
the table over there and then have a seat. It’s time you met your daughter.”

“Mama G,” Emily
began.

“Hush,
child. He’s traveled a long way. It’s his turn.”

Emily huffed
and leaned back against her bed. She folded her arms against her chest and
glared at her lap.

“Support her
head,” Grace instructed. “There
ya
go. Just hold her
gently, close to your body. You got it.” She removed her hands and stepped
back, a bright smile lighting her face. “You’re a natural.”

“Oh, I don’t
know about that. This is awkward, to say the least.”

He stared
down at her face and had an urge to trace Sadie’s face, just as he’d seen
Em
doing moments before. Unable to help himself, he was
surprised at how soft her skin was. And her head wasn’t completely bald; she
had the fairest peach fuzz he’d ever seen. Her eyes were a deep, dark blue, and
he secretly hoped they’d stay that way.

She stopped
fussing and stared at him for the longest time, and he reveled in it. She was
so precious. He couldn’t get over how tiny and perfect she was. He could sit
here forever just holding her. She closed her eyes and turned her face into his
chest.

And that was
what did it. He completely lost his heart for the third time in his life. This
tiny baby, less than two days old, had completely and irrevocably stolen his
heart and wrapped it around her impossibly tiny finger.

He glanced
up at
Em
. “She’s . . . she’s just . . . I can’t even.”

She offered
a small smile. “I know.”