Read Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Online
Authors: Travis Bradberry,Jean Greaves,Patrick Lencioni
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 (20 page)
This discovery says as much about the malleable nature of EQ as it does about the differences between generations. With practice, anyone can—and many people do—become more skilled at picking up on emotions and managing them. Developing those skills takes time, but a little conscious effort can cut that time down to a fraction of how long it would ordinarily take. One of Gen Y’s signature traits is its enormous capacity to soak up new information and to acquire new skills. That means it’s almost entirely up to each individual to do the legwork necessary to speed up the development pace of his or her EQ. For members of Gen Y, the option is to either let years of experience run their course (waiting until their 50s to master their emotions) or to take their development into their own hands. If Gen Yers choose to, they can start now. By the time Gen Yers reach their 30s, they can be poised to lead like seasoned veterans.
With Boomers retiring sooner rather than later, talented twenty-somethings not only
can
prepare themselves for leadership roles today: the Gen Yers
must
. Those Gen Yers who take the time and the effort to train themselves to resist the temptation to speak when it won’t help a situation, and to keep the lines of communication open even when upset, will be the ones who are tapped to fill the vacant leadership positions in tomorrow’s organizations. Along with those positions will come not only better pay but also the ability to make the changes Gen Yers so desperately want to see in the world around them.
China’s Secret Weapon: EQ and Culturecan
prepare themselves for leadership roles today: the Gen Yers
must
. Those Gen Yers who take the time and the effort to train themselves to resist the temptation to speak when it won’t help a situation, and to keep the lines of communication open even when upset, will be the ones who are tapped to fill the vacant leadership positions in tomorrow’s organizations. Along with those positions will come not only better pay but also the ability to make the changes Gen Yers so desperately want to see in the world around them.
“Made in China” just doesn’t mean what it used to. Manual labor by the country’s 1.3 billion citizens was long considered its sole competitive advantage in the global economy. While American business has turned a blind eye to the Chinese laborer, the country’s burgeoning skilled workforce now stands as the biggest competitive threat to American business today. How did this happen?
Forget that Wal-Mart imports $25 billion annually in goods from China—that’s old news. Today, China has the knowledge workers needed to take hold of sectors like finance, telecommunications, and computing. Surprised? You shouldn’t be. In 2004, Chinese computer giant Lenovo paid $1.25 billion to buy IBM’s PC division. In 2005, U.S. investors scrambled to get in on the biggest IPO of 2005, a Chinese bank with $521 billion in assets. That IPO marked the first major Chinese financial institution to offer shares overseas, and despite its tremendous size, it’s only the third-largest bank in China. Even though the balance of economic power has not totally shifted, it’s no secret that China is America’s single largest creditor. The sleeping giant has indeed been stirring.
A few years ago, TalentSmart® researchers decided to see what role EQ was playing in China’s colossal transition from cheap supplier to knowledge leader. We spent the summer of 2005 measuring the EQ of 3,000 top executives in China. Our unexpected findings illustrate the secret ingredients of China’s economic success, and a serious threat to America’s ability to compete in the global marketplace: discipline. American executives averaged 15 points lower than Chinese executives in self-management and relationship management.
The Chinese executives who participated in the study were homebred talent. All 3,000 were nationals from the public and private sectors who took the
Emotional Intelligence Appraisal
®
test in Chinese. The executives’ scores in self-awareness and social awareness, though a few points higher than the U.S. sample, were statistically similar to those of U.S. executives. This means executives in both countries have a similar awareness of emotions in themselves and others, but Chinese executives use this awareness to their benefit—and actions speak louder than words.
Emotional Intelligence Appraisal
®
test in Chinese. The executives’ scores in self-awareness and social awareness, though a few points higher than the U.S. sample, were statistically similar to those of U.S. executives. This means executives in both countries have a similar awareness of emotions in themselves and others, but Chinese executives use this awareness to their benefit—and actions speak louder than words.
American executives averaged 15 points lower than Chinese executives in self-management and relationship management.
Chinese execs are living the qualities that Americans
permit
HR to put into the company competency model. American leaders like how these behaviors look on paper, but they don’t tend to walk their talk. Lip service seems to be all the energy U.S. execs are willing to spend on seeking feedback, working together as a team, getting to know their peers, and following through on commitments.
permit
HR to put into the company competency model. American leaders like how these behaviors look on paper, but they don’t tend to walk their talk. Lip service seems to be all the energy U.S. execs are willing to spend on seeking feedback, working together as a team, getting to know their peers, and following through on commitments.
Making business personal is nothing new in China. Executives ordinarily schedule dinner meetings with their staff to talk about business trends, career aspirations, and family. People expect their leaders to set an eminent example in how they make decisions, connect with others, and improve. There is genuine shame in not fulfilling these duties because people really care.
The implications for the rest of the world are clear: pay attention to managing emotions or suffer the consequences. Whether for countries trying to protect their existing competitive advantage in the global economy or for those nations whose stars are rising, the link between EQ and economic prosperity cannot be overestimated. China seems to have a slight advantage here because of the culture in which Chinese execs were raised. If you grow up in a culture where emotional outbursts and careless self-gratification are not only discouraged but are also considered personally shameful, such an upbringing is going to affect the way you manage yourself and others. As we discussed earlier, EQ is very susceptible to cultural influence. The question here is whether that culture promotes or prohibits emotionally intelligent behaviors.
There’s an old Chinese proverb that says, “Give a man a pole, and he’ll catch a fish a week. Tell him what bait to use, and he’ll catch a fish a day. Show him how and where to fish, and he’ll have fish to eat for a lifetime.” The flipside to that proverb is that the man or woman without a pole, without bait, and without knowledge of the
how
and the
where
runs a serious risk of famine. Similarly, emotionally ignorant people with little understanding of how and where emotions affect their lives will have an exceedingly difficult time reeling in success. On the other hand, those who use the right tools and strategies for harnessing their emotions put themselves in a position to prosper. That same truth applies to individuals, organizations, and even entire countries.
Closing Thoughts: EQ and the Futurehow
and the
where
runs a serious risk of famine. Similarly, emotionally ignorant people with little understanding of how and where emotions affect their lives will have an exceedingly difficult time reeling in success. On the other hand, those who use the right tools and strategies for harnessing their emotions put themselves in a position to prosper. That same truth applies to individuals, organizations, and even entire countries.
While the sum total of these findings is encouraging, these discoveries also act as a stern warning. The steady, five-year rise in EQ—and unexpected dip in 2008—as well as the climb in men’s EQ skills show that emotional intelligence is a skill set that can be learned—and unlearned. Just as you can work hard to lose weight over the summer only to pack those pounds on again over the winter holidays, you can sharpen your EQ skills only to see them go dull again. That is precisely why we recommend reading this book and reviewing these skill development strategies at least once a year.
You wouldn’t expect to forever master the game of golf or playing the piano after practicing for six months and then quitting, would you? The same is true with EQ skill development. If you let up and stop consciously practicing these skills, somewhere down the road you will almost certainly allow tough circumstances to overpower you. You will slide right back into those old bad habits. These hard-earned skills can be lost almost as easily as they were gained, and with them the higher pay, stronger relationships, and better decisions you’ve come to enjoy.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS FOR READING GROUPS
Discussing EQ will help you bridge the learning-doing gap. Use these questions to start a meaningful dialogue and build your understanding of how the four EQ skills apply in daily living.
1. How many members in the group were familiar with the term “emotional intelligence” before reading
Emotional Intelligence 2.0
?
2. For those who had never heard of EQ before, what’s the most important thing you discovered after reading
Emotional Intelligence 2.0
?
3. For those who were familiar with EQ before reading the book, what’s the most important thing you discovered?
4. Have you felt an emotional hijacking similar to Butch Connor’s during his run-in with the shark?
5. What are the physical symptoms you experience with emotion? An example might be your face turns red when you’re angry.
6. What are the few fundamental changes you might like to make now that you know change can happen at a physical level? What would you like to train your brain to do?
7. What’s one experience that stands out for you in learning to recognize or manage your emotions? What about learning to recognize what other people are feeling?
8. In your job, how are emotions dealt with? Is there anything covered in the book that will help you in the next six months at work? How about next week?
9. How are EQ skills visible in current events today? Discuss politicians, celebrities, athletes, etc.
10. Can you think of any historical figures or events that were influenced by either poor management or excellent management of emotions?
11. Only 36% of people are able to identify their emotions accurately as they happen. Why do you suppose this is the case? How might someone get better at this? Groups that decide to take the online
Emotional Intelligence Appraisal
®
test before meeting can bring their results and discuss them as follows.
12. Without sharing specific numbers, which EQ skill score was your highest?
13. Which EQ skill score was your lowest? Which strategies will you practice to improve this skill?
14. What will make practicing EQ skills most challenging for you?
15. What would you like to know from the other people in the group about how they:• Work on being more self-aware?• Self-manage?• Read feelings or emotions in other people?• Manage relationships?
16. Consider the following fascinating findings and discuss them as a group:• EQ tends to increase with age.• The biggest EQ gap between Baby Boomers and Generation Y (Millenials) is in their self-management skills.• Women and men have the same average self-awareness score, while men score higher in self-management and women score higher in social awareness and relationship management.• CEOs and other senior executives, on average, have the lowest EQ scores in the workplace.
NOTES
The story of Butch Connor’s shark attack comes from a highly entertaining book of true stories edited by Paul Diamond,
Surfing’s Greatest Misadventures: Dropping In on the Unexpected
, (Seattle: Casagrande Press, 2006). Online at:
www.casagrandepress.com/sgm.html
. Another account of the incident from Demian Bulwa (2004, May 31). Surfer goes toe-to-toe with shark.
The San Francisco Chronicle
.
Surfing’s Greatest Misadventures: Dropping In on the Unexpected
, (Seattle: Casagrande Press, 2006). Online at:
www.casagrandepress.com/sgm.html
. Another account of the incident from Demian Bulwa (2004, May 31). Surfer goes toe-to-toe with shark.
The San Francisco Chronicle
.
W.L. Payne coined the term emotional intelligence: “A study of emotion: Developing emotional intelligence: Self integration; relating to fear, pain and desire.” Doctoral thesis, The Union Institute, Cincinnati, OH (1988).
Seminal emotional intelligence research contributing to the term’s spread in popularity: from Yale University: Jack Mayer, et al., “Perceiving affective content in ambiguous visual stimuli: A component of emotional intelligence.”
Journal of Personality Assessment, 54
(1990). A second study linking emotional intelligence to success: Jack Mayer and Peter Salovey, “The intelligence of emotional intelligence.”
Intelligence, 17
(1993). A third linking it to well-being: J. Mayer and A. Stevens, “An emerging understanding of the reflective (meta) experience of mood.”
Journal of Research in Personality, 28
(1994).
Journal of Personality Assessment, 54
(1990). A second study linking emotional intelligence to success: Jack Mayer and Peter Salovey, “The intelligence of emotional intelligence.”
Intelligence, 17
(1993). A third linking it to well-being: J. Mayer and A. Stevens, “An emerging understanding of the reflective (meta) experience of mood.”
Journal of Research in Personality, 28
(1994).
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