Empower (15 page)

I didn’t turn. ‘Oh, I think we are,’ I replied, starting to walk towards the side door. ‘Don’t be a bad loser.’

‘Terms of a challenge are that the participant cannot use internal powers to give them the advantage.’

I paused as I scoffed. ‘I hate to break it to you but my speed and strength are not internal.’

His voice lowered. ‘But the cowardly shields you and your Rogues are famous for relying on so much
are
.’

I flinched at his words.

Anything but this.

I turned, slowly. Lincoln looked straight at me. Emotionless.

Does he know what he’s doing? What this will do to me? Could he be this cruel?

He raised his eyebrows. ‘You want to beat me, you have
to drop your walls.’

I looked up at the Assembly. Drenson was smiling. Josephine seemed surprisingly speechless. I gestured to Lincoln. ‘I’ve already beaten him. This is bullshit!’

Drenson made a pathetically brief attempt to appear compassionate to my argument. ‘Nonetheless, he is right. You have to prove you are of sound mind.’

‘But I beat him physically. Who else has done that in the past two years?’ I challenged, looking around the room.

‘Even so,’ Drenson said, increasingly unable to hide his enjoyment.

Shit.

I can do this.

No! I damn well cannot!

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d let my guard down completely. I wasn’t even sure I’d physically survive it. Part of me suspected that the only reason my soul had not shattered into oblivion the way it was probably supposed to was because I had naturally strong guards. I was broken into smithereens inside but my shields were like a protective glass jar holding them all together.

Ignoring Lincoln’s eyes on me, I wrapped my hands around my waist, considering what would happen if I let the cold take hold.

Pain. That’s what.

There would be so much pain. Even if I could physically survive it, mentally … The constant smarting I endured even with my defences on high made my existence barely tolerable – like sharp knives set on a constant cycle
of stab and repeat. The idea of bringing down my walls …

Oh my God.

It would be like putting my body through a meat grinder and my heart through—

I stopped the thought.

Lincoln was a good leader. I truly believed that.

Maybe I should just let him lead and go on my way, try to find Spence on my own.

I glanced over my shoulder to Gray. Even he looked sick.

Shit!

I needed their damn intel. I couldn’t take chances and I needed to be in charge otherwise I couldn’t be sure to cover all bases. Spence had said that Lincoln would be out of his depth. I couldn’t risk that.

‘Fine,’ I gritted out as I forced myself back into position.

Lincoln averted his gaze.

Good. I hope you feel guilty.

‘When you’re ready,’ he said, making it clear he didn’t feel too bad to proceed.

I couldn’t believe he was going to do this to me. But I was almost certain he couldn’t know. How could he? No one knew exactly what it would do to me. He was just playing the game, like I had. Win at all costs.

Slowly, I began to lower my shields for the first time in two years. My soul charged forward like the caged animal it was. And it was not happy with me.

The impact was immediate.

I knew my shields were not all the way down but there was no way I could go any further. My insides contracted painfully. The coldness that never fully
eased its grip seeped into my blood and bones completely, like a poison, reaching all the way to my dysfunctional heart. The ache consumed me with such terrible grief that I screamed out in agony. My legs shook, about to give way. I stumbled but couldn’t focus on anything around me.

An arm snaked around my waist from behind, its path warm and strong when there had been no warmth, no strength. Without being able to think or control my actions my body leaned back into the embrace, craving more. The sanity. The small reprieve. His other arm moved into position loosely around my neck and as I felt him press over my heart I wanted to cry out again, this time in relief.

‘Kill shot.’

His voice was so steady.

My legs gave out completely, but he held me up, his hand gliding slowly down my rigid arm until his palm slid into mine. His fingers lined up with each of mine and then, unmercifully reminding me of moments I could never have again, his fingers slowly – warmly – closed and squeezed tightly just as his lips grazed my ear and he whispered, ‘Put them back up.’

He braced me as I trembled and started to do just as he’d instructed, rebuilding the walls that protected me from the truth.

As soon as I was strong enough to stand, Lincoln stepped away from me.

I turned to face the Assembly again, refusing to look any weaker than was already obvious to the entire room.

I could feel Lincoln studying me. I glanced in his direction defiantly to see his brow furrowed as if he was confused by something. He opened his mouth to speak
but just as quickly closed it and turned back to the Assembly.

‘I’ll lead a team out tomorrow,’ he said, not looking back at me.

The room remained silent.

I took a deep breath, feeling more in control by the second. Overwhelmed by the whole thing and more than anything simply sad, I shook my head. ‘You really have turned into one of them, haven’t you?’ And suddenly I was completely exhausted.

What have we done to one another?

Lincoln flinched and I looked up at Josephine. ‘You’re making a mistake doing things like this and I won’t stay around to watch you put Spence’s life in unnecessary danger. That’s the beauty of being a Rogue. I’ll bring Spence back when I have him.’

With that I turned around and started to walk out.

‘You’ll do no such thing!’ Drenson yelled. I didn’t stop. They didn’t control me and I could already tell that Gray was walking out behind me.

‘Violet!’ Josephine called. I glanced over my shoulder and something about the way she looked at me, almost imploringly, made me pause. ‘The way I see it, the outcome of that challenge was a tie. You and Lincoln will work together, assemble a team you both agree on and share the leadership.’

I shook my head. ‘No. I can’t work with him,’ I said, knowing the full truth of my words.

‘Then I guess it will come down to how much you want to find your friend, because we all know this is the best solution.’ With that she looked at Drenson,
making it clear there would be no argument.

I looked around me. Gray rolled his eyes and Steph nodded me on at the same time that Lincoln glanced at Mia for counsel. A shot of jealousy speared me when I saw her give him an encouraging smile.

Finally, I shrugged. ‘We should get into the building tonight.’

Lincoln shook his head instantly. ‘We’ll go during the day tomorrow and make sure no one slips away before we question them.’

I sighed and looked straight into his eyes. ‘I get that you are used to charging through the front doors having nothing to fear, but there is a value to having the defences we do. These walls you were so keen to tear down keep us guarded from exiles. Trust me, if there are big players in that building they’ll be there at night and if there are exiles, we’ll find them before they find us. Give Gray and me an hour in the building tonight. If we don’t come out with anything useful, storm the place until your trigger-happy heart is content tomorrow.’

He dropped his head. ‘You say that like it’s a possibility.’

‘What?’ I asked, confused.

‘Contentment.’ He said it like a throwaway comment and looked towards Mia again. ‘We’ll give this a go. Get the conductors on it. Set up a perimeter and we’ll cover them for an hour.’

Mia nodded and moved away towards the doors. Lincoln turned to me, shooting a sharp glance in Gray’s direction. ‘You and your …
partner
should be ready to move in half an hour,’ he said before marching out of the room.

I wanted to scream after him, but his words
had hit so hard they had sucked the air right out of my lungs.

‘Did he just call me your
partner
?’ Gray asked, now beside me.

‘He did,’ I replied, still staring at the door Lincoln had just slammed in his wake.

‘The quarrels of lovers are the renewal of love.’

Jean Racine

W
hile everyone else went into research
mode that afternoon, I slipped across the glamoured walkways, marvelling yet again as I walked between buildings on an invisible bridge over to the Academy classrooms in building D. I found Simon eating his lunch in the cafeteria.

It was strange to look at him. Just two years older than when I’d last seen him, looking malnourished and far younger than his age, he had changed from a boy to a young man. His blonde hair was styled into a messy heap and his glasses made him look more Clark Kent than Wimpy Kid. He glanced up from the book he was reading and when he saw me his fast-changing expressions from wide eyes, to mouth agape, to huge smile, made me laugh.

I sat down beside him. ‘Hey there, stranger,’ I said.

‘You’re really here,’ he said, keeping his eyes on me as if worried I might disappear if he blinked.

‘Passing through,’ I explained. ‘I wanted to see how you were doing.’

He put his book down. ‘Great. I’m great. I mean, it’s … you know, life is different and
I miss my family, but … I like it here. I embrace in a year – well, actually closer to two years, but still …’ he said, stumbling over his words.

‘I heard that. It sounds like you’re pretty excited about it all.’

He nodded proudly. ‘And once I embrace I’m going to come and work for you,’ he said suddenly.

I found myself watching him with an odd sense of pride. Simon had been little more than a child, caged and doomed to a terrible fate at Lilith’s hands. I had been there to save them, but even after they were freed, Simon had come back for me, his determination and calmness igniting my will to survive, even though I knew I’d lost everything. To see him now …

See. It wasn’t all for nothing.

Simon was the perfect reminder.

I put my hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eye. ‘I heard you might be thinking something like that, and that’s part of the reason I’m here.’

Simon smiled.

‘Listen to me, Simon. You have a great set-up here. You’re going to have more training ahead of you once you embrace and before long you’ll have a partner to think of too. Where I am … it’s not the right place for you.’

His smile slid away and I wanted to take it all back but I knew I couldn’t. He needed to hear this.

‘But you’re the one,’ he whispered.

‘The one?’ I asked softly.

His big blue eyes looked suddenly as young as they had the night he and the other children had lifted me through the fire. ‘The one who changes everything.’

I bit my lip.

And what exactly am I supposed to say to that?

‘Okay, well, how about we make a
deal? You stay here after you embrace and complete all of your training with your partner then, and
only then
, if you still want to come and fight at my side, we’ll talk about it again.’

His eyes narrowed and he pressed his lips together while he watched me. ‘You promise?’

‘I promise.’ Now I just had to hope that by that time he would have lost any interest in getting mixed up in my crazy world.

‘So,’ I said standing up. ‘Are you going to show me around and introduce me to your friends?’

Simon beamed, scrambling to his feet.

Hell, even I know I’m quality show and tell.

Lincoln insisted that Gray and I wear earpieces so he wouldn’t miss anything.

Let’s hear it for bad ideas.

I rolled my eyes, not seeing why the tech was necessary before reaching the clear-as-day conclusion that it was because he simply didn’t trust us.

Wow. The hits just keep on coming.