Enchanted (31 page)

It was a long, quiet drive back to New York. Mac pulled the car to a stop in front of Kathleen’s building, grabbed her bag from the backseat, and started to open his door.

“Please, Mac. Don’t come up with me. Let’s end this here.”

“Damn it, Kath. I don’t want to end it.”

“But
I do. Please, let me have my way, just this once.”

He listened to her words, but he didn’t want any part of what he heard. He wouldn’t let it end.

“Let me take you to pick up Julie.”

She shook her head. “Listen to me, please. Last night was special and I’ll never fo
rget it. Can’t we just say good
bye now, before we end up hating each other?”

“We’ll never hate ea
ch other, and we can’t say good
bye. You promised to marry me.”

“I didn’t promise to give up my job, and you told me once before you wouldn’t compromise.” She wiped the tears away from her face. “I’m not going to marry you. I’m going back to my old life. Just me and Julie.”

“Are you saying there’s no room left in your heart for me?”

She grabbed her bag and opened the door. “You’ll always be in my heart. Always.” She slammed the door, ran up the stairs and into her building, and Mac sat alone, lost, and the tears that had swelled in his eyes ran freely down his cheeks.

Mac entered his apartment, surprised at its warmth, its darkness. He switched on the lights and found it emptied of Merry’s personal touches. The rocking chair was gone. So were the crocheted doilies, the afghans, the pictures of children.

A red envelope had been propped up on the mantel next to a photo of Mac’s dad. With shaky hands, he
tore off
the end and pulled out the letter.

My dearest McKenna
, it read.
I leave with sadness, my child, for I have grown to love you as a son. Yet, there is joy in my heart, knowing you have found the woman of your dreams. True love is a rare and tender thing. It must be nurtured, and, above all, you must give of yourself and ask nothing in return. I will miss you, young man, but you will always be near to my heart. Merry
.

He paced the floor, reading and rereading Merry’s note.
Ask nothing in return
. Those words reverberated in his head. He agonized over them.

He went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of milk and carried it and the coo
kie jar back to the living room. He
slouched in a big, cold leather chair. Where had he gone wrong? He wanted to marry Kathleen and give her everything—a beautiful home in the country where she would feel comfortable raising Julie; the time to enjoy Julie without the pressures of working. What more could he give?

But Merry’s words weren’t about what he could give. They said,
Ask nothing in return
. And he had. He had asked that she give up her job.

He thought about that. How would he feel if someone asked him to give up his job? It didn’t take long for him to agonize over that possibility. He would give it up in a moment if he could have a wife and child. But he didn’t love his work. It didn’t give him joy and fulfillment. Not the way it did Kathleen. The First Lady wanted to have lunch with her. He couldn’t forget the excitement in her eyes, the thrill of knowing she had accomplished a great feat and was to be rewarded with accolades from someone she respected. That meant the world to her.

She didn’t complain about not having enough time with Julie. She didn’t complain about anything, except that he wanted her to give up her job. She must be a good mother in spite of working probably sixty or seventy hours a week. He remembered the pictures on the refrigerator. Crayon drawings of a mother and her little girl in the park, swinging on swings, and they all said,
I love you, Mommy
. Magical words—I love you.

Hell! He wouldn’t give up now, not when he had come so far. He would have Kathleen, and he would have Julie. But what could he do so everyone would be a winner?

oOo

Kathleen anxiously watched the passengers exiting from the ramp that connected the jet to the terminal, her eyes bloodshot and swollen from hours of crying for the love she had lost. Yet when the stewardess escorted the dark-haired little girl into the waiting arms of her mother, Kathleen beamed with joy. She grabbed Julie and swung her around in her arms, kissing her hair, her cheeks, and her forehead, then held her tight and wept with happiness.

“I missed you, Mommy.”

“I missed you, too, sweetheart. My goodness. You look like you’ve grown a foot.”

“Hello.”

Kathleen spun around at the sound of Mac’s voice, and tears instantly appeared at the corners of her eyes. “Hello.”

“Mommy?” Julie put her little hands to her mother’s face and whispered up close. “Who’s that man?”

“My boss.”

“A very dear friend,” Mac corrected. “I’m McKenna O’Brien,” he said, taking Julie’s hand and gallantly kissing the backs of her fingers. “But you can call me Mac.”

“Mommy says that’s not polite. I’ll call you Mr. O’Brien.” She looked away from Mac and back to her mother. “Can we go home now?”

“Of course we can, sweetheart.”

“I’ve got a limo outside. I thought it would be more comfortable than a taxi.”

“Thank you, but we can get home on our own.”

“I want to ride in a limo.” Julie wiggled out of her mother’s arms, and Kathleen stood her on the floor.

“Let’s get your luggage,” Mac said, taking Julie’s hand. He looked at Kathleen, who stared back with saddened eyes. Julie tugged and Mac followed, heading swiftly to the baggage-claim area.

Kathleen walked behind, watching the big man and her tiny daughter strolling through the terminal, hand in hand, as though they had known each other forever, as though they belonged together. Maybe she should give up her work, for Julie, for Mac. A bond seemed to have formed the instant the two touched fingers, quite the same way it had when she had first seen his picture. Could she be selfish and keep them from sharing a happiness that may have been meant to be?

They retrieved the luggage and walked out of the bustling terminal to the traffic-jammed street. The limo driver met them at the door and took the bags from Mac, and Kathleen watched as Julie instantly grabbed Mac’s empty hand. They were linked together, a threesome, and Mac maneuvered them through buses and taxis to the waiting white limousine parked not far away.

They climbed through the open door into the back of the car, and Julie’s eyes lit up. “There’s a TV in here, Mommy. May I watch it?”

Kathleen looked at Mac for an answer.

“Of course. Here, let’s see if we can find something good to watch.” He picked up the remote control. “Do you know how to use this?”

Julie turned her head from side to side, examining the controller. “It’s different from the one I have at home.”

“Here, let me show you.” He took it in his hand and, holding her index finger, pointed out the different buttons. “This says Volume, and this arrow turns the sound up, this one turns the sound down. And this says Channel. You can push this button until you find something you want to watch.”

“Thank you, Mr. O’Brien.”

Kathleen couldn’t help but smile. “You seem to have a way with children.”

“I’m much better with children than I am with adults.”

“That’s not true.”

He reached out a hand and with his thumb wiped a tear from her cheek. “May I take you to lunch?”

She started to say no, then looked at Julie. She needed a father, and Mac wanted a child so badly. In less than a week
Success
would be on the newsstands
and ablaze with color on the Internet
. She would have had her moment of glory
—
her lunch with the First Lady. Maybe that was all she needed. Maybe she could turn the magazine over to someone new, let someone else continue her work. It hurt to think about that. But it also hurt to think about not spending the rest of her life with Mac.

“Lunch would be nice.” She avoided his eyes, finding it much safer to look at Julie, to gather the little girl into her arms and hold her close.

“I’m going to take you and your mommy to lunch,” he said to Julie. “Is there someplace you’d like to go?”

“Can we go to our special place?” she asked her mother.

“Oh, honey. I don’t know if Mr. O’Brien would like it”

“I’ll love it
.
Just tell me where.”

“The zoo. Mommy takes me all the time, and we have hot dogs and cotton candy.”

“Do you feed the animals, too?”

“No. They don’t like hot dogs. Do you like the zoo?”

“I haven’t been in a very long time. Will you show me around?”

“Sure. I like the tigers the best. But I’ll show you the elephants and zebras and giraffes.”

Kathleen interrupted. “Let’s make it a short trip today, honey. Mr. O’Brien had a very late night, and he’ll probably want to get home early.” Kathleen looked beseechingly at Mac.

He smiled. “Your mother’s right
,
Julie. We’ll have hot dogs and cotton candy, then take a quick peek at the tigers. Then I’d better head for home.”

“Okay, Mr. O’Brien.”

Julie turned back to the television while Mac asked the driver to take them to the zoo.

He reached out and took Kathleen’s hand, holding it tight, but he felt nothing in return. Dear Lord, please, don’t let me lose her now.

At the zoo Kathleen watched Julie lead Mac from the hot-dog stand to the tigers, then to a vendor selling ice cream. For the first time in ages, she didn’t feel like eating, but watched Mac down several hot dogs and wipe mustard off Julie’s face with his napkin. He looked as though he were cut out for fatherhood. His face beamed as her little girl pointed out one delight after another, totally ignoring the idea about seeing only the tigers.

Four hours later Mac held Julie in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder, her eyes closed in sleep. “Maybe we’d better go home now,” he said, looking sheepishly at Kathleen.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. How could she give up this man?

They rode quietly back to Kathleen’s building, and Mac carried Julie until they reached her bedroom, the driver and Kathleen following behind with her luggage. Mac laid her down gently on the bed, removed her shoes and socks, and pulled the lightweight blanket up to her chin. Bending his large body, he leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.

Kathleen stood in the doorway and watched. Such a big man, and so tender. Just what Julie needed in her life. Just what she needed in hers.

He walked back into the living room and pulled Kathleen into his arms. “Don’t worry. I don’t plan to stay. I know you want to be alone.” He kissed her forehead, just as he had kissed Julie’s, only his lips lingered longer, and Kathleen felt the strong beat of his heart, the heavy, labored breathing.

“Could we have dinner tomorrow night? You, me, Julie?”

She shook her head. “I have to work late tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday?”

He smiled. It was a breakthrough. She did still want to see him. “Is Tuesday your lunch with the First Lady?”

She nodded. “So, don’t expect me to be my normal, calm, highly in-control self.”

“I prefer you out of control. Like last night. Remember?”

“I remember.” She led him to the door, opened it, and he stepped just outside.

“Who’s taking care of Julie tomorrow?”

“The sitter. She lives just down the hall.”

“I thought maybe I could take her out for the day.”

She laughed. “What would you do with a five-year-old?”

“I don’t know. Wing it, maybe.”

“What about work?”

“I’m the boss. I don’t have to be there.
That’s why I hire
people like you.”

“I almost forgot.” She leaned her head against the doorjamb and gazed into Mac’s eyes, a wistful look on her face.

“What about tomorrow?” he asked.

“I don’t know. She likes going to the sitter’s.”