Encounter at Cold Harbor (15 page)

The screen door slammed, and he muttered, “Well, you don’t have to get so sore about it!” He kicked at a stone, then stalked out into the twilight angry and upset—knowing somehow that he was in the wrong.

J
eff plunged away off into the darkness and eventually found himself almost lost in the woods. He had planned to stay overnight at Silas’s, not needing to go back to camp, but he felt so bad about the way he had behaved that he could not face either Leah or Eileen. Without going into the house to say goodbye to either of them, he returned to camp, where he stayed for the next two days.

Tom saw that he was in some sort of depression and tried to talk to him. “What’s the matter with you, Jeff? You been going around with a face as long as a mule’s. Are you sick?”

“No, I’m not sick!”

Tom stared at his younger brother. He knew him well enough to know that something was wrong. “Tomorrow is your birthday. Have you forgotten that?”

Strangely enough, Jeff
had
forgotten. “I guess I did,” he said. “Well, what about it? It’s just like every other day.”

“No, it’s not. You’re going out to the house and have a birthday party. Leah and Eileen and Pa all asked me about it yesterday.”

Jeff stared at his brother and then nodded. “OK, so I’ll go.”

“Well, that’s mighty big of you. Doing them the favor of lettin’ them bake you a cake and all that,” Tom said, snorting. “You’re acting like a baby, Jeff.

I’d like to know what’s eatin’ at you.” He hesitated, appeared almost to say something, but then changed his mind. “I’ll be off duty about three. We’ll go out to the house together.”

“All right, Tom.”

The time ran by slowly for Jeff that morning. He thought a great deal about his father, remembering how devoted Pa had been to his mother. And then he thought a great deal about his mother, saddened by the memory as he always was.

Finally he began to get ready. He put on his best uniform. He was brushing his hair when Charlie Bowers came by. He had been allowed to come into Richmond on a short leave from the trenches. The undersized drummer boy sat on a box and watched him. “What’s up, Jeff?”

“Oh, birthday party.”

“Whose birthday?” Charlie asked.

“Mine.”

“Why, you son of a gun! You didn’t tell me that. I didn’t get you no present.”

“You don’t have to do that, Charlie.”

“You’ll be eighteen. Bein’ eighteen, that’s almost a man. I’d guess it makes you feel that way. Does it?”

Jeff remembered how badly he had been behaving. “Nope, not really, Charlie. I feel just like I did yesterday. Like I got a ways to go before I grow up.”

“I remember the last birthday party I had at home. Sure was a good one. We had ice cream and cake and fireworks. Of course, it was the Fourth of July, so we would have had that anyway.” Charlie leaned back, reminiscing. “It’s too bad your ma didn’t live to see you grow up to be a man. I bet she would’ve liked that.”

“I expect she would,” Jeff said shortly.

“My ma died when I was just seven,” Charlie said. He polished his boot with the heel of one hand and looked up again. “But Pa married again two years later. I didn’t think I’d like her after Ma, but I sure did learn to. She took care of me through all kinds of sicknesses. Pretty soon I loved her as much as I did my real ma. I just call her Ma now. Not that I’ve forgotten my real ma,” he said. “But you know, I think she would have liked it, knowin’ that her boy had a woman to take care of him. Don’t you think so, Jeff?”

Jeff’s throat suddenly felt very thick, and he could not speak. Finally he cleared it and said, “I guess you’re right, Charlie.”

Jeff soon left with Tom, but the words of the small drummer boy kept going through his mind. He could not get them out.

The front room at Uncle Silas’s had been decorated as well as it could be under wartime conditions. Little cloth streamers hung from the chandelier. The instant he stepped inside, he was grasped by Esther, who began squealing, “Happy birthday! Happy birthday!”

Jeff picked her up and said to Leah, who was right behind her, “You didn’t have to do all this.”

“But it’s my birthday too. Have you forgotten?”

Jeff said, “Happy birthday, Leah. I’m sorry I didn’t get you a present. There’s not much to be had in Richmond.”

“I’ve still got this, Jeff.” Leah fingered the locket that she wore around her neck. She opened it, and he looked at the old picture of himself. “You’re going
to have to have a nice new one made,” she said. “You look much different now.”

At that moment, his father’s voice came from somewhere in the house. “Is that you, Jeff? Get on back here!”

Jeff, carrying Esther, walked quickly down the hall, followed by Tom and Leah. When he entered the dining room, he saw a white cake with lighted candles on the table.

“Make a wish, Jeff.” His father grinned. He was not wearing a nightshirt this time, and when Jeff looked at him questioningly, he explained. “I couldn’t stand not having my pants on anymore.”

“I’m glad to see you’re better, Pa.”

“I’m on the mend. Now, you and Leah get over there and blow those candles out. I’m ready to start eating that cake. It smelled so good, I’ve been chewing my lip all day.”

Jeff stood on one side of the table and watched Leah cross to the other side. They leaned over the cake, and he whispered, “Esther, you blow the candles out.”

“All right.”

“Ready?” Jeff said, and when Leah nodded, they all blew together, Esther blowing as hard as either of them. All the candles went out.

“Happy birthday, Jeff.”

“Happy birthday, Leah.”

Then Jeff saw Eileen standing at the door, wearing a light blue dress and looking very pretty. He knew that, whatever he did, he would have to do quickly or he would lose his nerve. Still holding Esther, he walked over to her and said, “Mrs. Fremont, I’ve got to say something to you.”

Eileen took a quick breath. She glanced at his father, then back to Jeff, and said quietly, “What is it, Jeff?”

Jeff let his eyes run around the room in desperation. He saw Tom staring, a frown on his face. Leah wore about the same expression. His father looked as worried as he had ever seen him look.

Jeff turned his eyes back to Eileen and took a deep breath. “Well, what I want to say is … you and Pa can get married if you want to. I’d like it real well.”

Silence hung over the room, and then Tom slapped his hands together and exclaimed, “Why, you crazy coot! They don’t need your permission!”

But Eileen reached out and took Jeff’s hands, ignoring Tom. “Yes, I really
did
need for you to say that, Jeff. Thank you very much. I’m looking forward to our life together. I’ve always wanted a son, and now I’ve got two and a beautiful daughter as well. God has been very good to me, and I’ll do the best I can for you and for your brother and for your sister and for your father.”

“Well said!” Nelson cried. He was near enough to take Jeff by the belt and pull him closer. The wound in his side was still obviously touchy, for he winced, but he said, “I’m not able to get out of this chair, but I want to tell you that this is your mother, and if I ever hear of you givin’ her any trouble, you know what to expect.”

Jeff grinned down at him. “I know that all right, Pa. I’ll do my best. I can’t promise anything though. I get pretty rambunctious at times.”

The colonel held out his free hand, and Eileen came to take it. When he had it fast, he looked up at
her and said, “It’s good to have a wife and mother again.”

After the cake had been eaten, and the small presents—all handmade and very inexpensive—had been given to the two honorees, everyone played games in the parlor for a while. Then Eileen went to the piano, and they sang old songs.

But finally she said, “Nelson, you’re getting tired. We’re going to put you to bed.”

Jeff immediately got up, saying, “That’s right, Ma. Make him mind.” He discovered it felt good to have someone he could call Ma.

When Tom had gone back to camp and Esther was asleep, Leah sat with Jeff on the front porch.

“That was one of the hardest things I ever did— tellin’ Eileen I was wrong,” he said.

“You always did have trouble doing that. But so do I,” Leah said. “I guess we’re too much alike.”

They watched the huge moon. It was almost orange and seemed pasted on a black-velvet sky.

Jeff said quietly, “I’ve never seen a moon brighter than that.”

“It is pretty, isn’t it?”

Quiet fell over the porch. Far off a dog barked, and then the bark turned into a mournful howl. The shadow of an owl drifted across the front yard, and they both watched the bird glide away into the darkness.

Jeff said, “I’m going to be goin’ into the regular army tomorrow.”

“I wish you didn’t have to do it, Jeff.”

“I’m eighteen now, and that’s a man of legal age. And I wouldn’t be true to the Confederacy if I didn’t.”
He got to his feet restlessly. “Let’s walk down the road a piece. It’s almost bright as day.”

“All right.”

They strolled along the road in the moonlight, saying little, and when they reached the crossroads, Jeff said, “I guess we better go back.” But he hesitated and then turned to her. “You’re seventeen years old now.”

“Yes.” Leah looked up at him. She could remember when they were both the same height. She had been tall and lanky, and Jeff had gotten his growth slowly. Now, however, he was six feet, and she felt secret pleasure in looking up at him. She had always felt big and gawky, but now she did not feel so. “I’m seventeen,” she said, “and that’s a woman.”

Suddenly Jeff reached out and grabbed her. “A woman?” he shouted. “Tomorrow I’ll throw you in the river, just like I did when you were a little girl!”

“Jeff, turn me loose!” She laughed and tried to get free, but his strength was too great. Then she stopped struggling and just looked up at him.

“I remember a little girl I used to hunt birds’ eggs with. She had braids, and big eyes, and she felt she was too tall and gawky. I wonder where that little girl is now?”

“And I wonder where the little boy is?” Leah said. She still made no attempt to pull away. “I guess they’re gone forever, Jeff. But we can remember those days, can’t we?” She took a quick breath, for he suddenly released her hands, put his arms around her, and pulled her close.

“I guess if you’re a young woman, then you need a birthday kiss.” He kissed her soundly, then grinned. “Well, I guess you’re a woman after all.”

Leah started back up the road, but he caught up with her and took her hand. They said little until they got within sight of the house.

Then she said, “Jeff, be careful when you go back to the lines. I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you.”

Jeff squeezed her hand. “Don’t worry. God’s brought us too far to let anything happen to me now.”

They turned into the yard. The dog on the porch thumped his tail and lifted his head to greet them. They stopped on the steps for a final look at each other.

Jeff said quietly, “Nope, you’re not a little girl anymore, Leah Carter.”