Enduring Everything (Marked Heart #1) (11 page)

There was a noticeable change in her voice as she replied, "Honey, would you like to come over for dinner tonight," even though I could tell she trying to sound up-beat.

"I can come Wednesday, if that's okay," I replied, trying to buy myself time before I had to face her.

"Sounds good, see you then," she agreed before hanging up.

Slowly exhaling, I pulled away from the Roberts' house and headed home.

20

Purpose
in Routine

Starting my new routine, I decided calling Sophia would be a nice way to begin my mornings. I would call her every morning for the rest of my life if I needed to. When Ailin answered, he said he was on his way to work and again he was sorry but Sophia had nothing to say to me. I asked him to tell her I loved her and he said he would.

Dressing in my Tuesday attire
, a thought of how at ease my self-imposed routines made me, gave me a great idea for Charlotte. As I made a mental note to set her up with her own routine, I folded the last of Jackson's clothes before placing them into a bag and setting them beside my bed. I was glad his clothes smelled like laundry detergent now. The previous night while placing clothes in the washer, the scent of my clothes mixed with his brought tears to my eyes.

Before I knew it, it was time for me to head to work. I made it to JPT a few minutes before I actually wanted to. Instead of heading straight into work
, I took my time getting out of my car, relieved to see Jackson's already parked in the parking lot.

When I finally decided it was time to head inside, I heard a snotty voice say, "Feeling better today?"

Turning towards Marabeth, I replied, "Yes I am. Thank you. I really appreciate you asking because I know you truly have my best interests at heart," and then I just stared at her.

She gave me
a blank stare as if she could not figure out how to respond before turning and walking into the building. In a far better mood now than I thought I would be, I walked into JPT with a smile on my face.

Shuffling through papers on my desk, I scooped the extra files into my arms an
d headed into Jackson's office. Tapping on his door first, I stepped in.

Without looking directly at him, I greeted, "Mornin'," as I continued to the file cabinets.

Jackson's voice was raspy as he replied, "Morning," causing me to quickly turn around.

Sitting at his desk with his arms folded in front of him as he rested his head on them, he looked awful.

Out of instinct, I asked, "Are you okay?"

Nodding into his arms, Jackson answered, "I think I'm getting sick."

Without thinking, I set the files down and walked over to him.
Reaching out to touch his forehead, I hesitated. The helpless look in his eyes caused my heart to tighten as I placed my hand across his forehead.

"You're a little warm but I don't think you have a fever," I shared with a longing to press my lips against him to make sure.

Closing his eyes, Jackson sounded both hoarse and stuffy as he said, "I feel like crap."

"Why don't you go home then? There's nothing on the calendar for today," I replied.

"I can't. I have to go to the bar at lunch, William hasn't been coming in," he mumbled into his arms.

Wondering if Charlotte was the reason William was flaking out on work, I assured, "Well, just rest then and I'll make sure no one bothers you."

Nodding into his arms, he gave a slight smile.

A strange feeling started to overwhelm me. It wasn't that I couldn't keep my hands off of Jackson or that I had an irrational need to be with him. He was sick and all I could think about was how nice it would be to make him some honey and lemon tea and curl up in bed with him until he felt better. It didn't matter to me that we weren't together. My husband was sick and I was just as in love with him as I was the night he proposed. I wanted to take care of him.

~

I stopped by Auggie's on my lunch break to give William Charlotte's apology letter but no one was home. After finding their spare key under a rock on the porch, I left the letter on William's bed. On the way back to work, I picked up a few things for Jackson at the grocery store. He wasn't back yet so I decided to leave the feel better items I bought him on his desk with a note.

Placing everything in the shape of a heart on his desk
, I set a note in the center that read
Feel Better ♥ Ren.
Pleased with my thoughtfulness, I started to head out of his office when a yellow post-it on his computer screen caught my eye. Glaring at it, I was outraged. Written on the post-it was a phone number and
If you ever need to talk- Marabeth.
At that moment, I actually weighed my options of it might be worth some jail time for what I was considering doing to her. Better judgment prevailed, but not before I snatched the post it off of his screen and walked out of his office.

Watching everyone trickle back into the office from lunch, I could feel my whole person fume the moment I saw Marabet
h. Pushing every instinct that was engrained in my very being to the side, I smiled and walked over to her desk.

"Did you have a nice lunch?" I asked.

Giving me a dirty look, she sat behind her desk saying, "Yea."

Taking a controlled breath, I stated, "Since you were so concerned about my feelings this morning, I decided I am going to save you from yourself."

With an unappreciative grimace, she snapped, "What are you talking about?"

Lowering my voice so as not to be overheard, I slapped the post-it down on her desk and stressed, "You accidently left this in Jackson's office."

As I pulled my hand away, Marabeth looked at the post-it and froze.

Narrowing my eyes at her, I assured, "I say accidentally because you and I both know what a mistake it would be to have done that on purpose."

Nodding
at her, Marabeth's eyes grew wide as she nodded back.

R
uining Marabeth's tacky attempt at getting closer to Jackson, I thought it might just be a good idea to go ahead and change my driver's license. Knowing it was long overdue and mentally acknowledging we were not even together anymore, how was I supposed to stake a legitimate claim on him if my last name was still Herterand? Making my way from Marabeth's desk to mine, I saw Jackson walk in. I quickly grabbed my purse from under my desk and headed towards him.

Jackson still looked terrible, but I felt okay asking for the rest of the day off since I left every item he would possibly need to feel better on his desk.

"Hey, I need the rest of the day off," I blurted trying to hurry.

Without a verbal
response, he nodded before I rushed around him, out of the building and to my car.

~

Pulling into Amila's back driveway, I was thankful I left JPT when I did. I had to wait in line for two and a half house at DPS before I made it to the front of the line to change the name on my driver's license.

Before I made it to the back door, Charlotte stepped out and asked, "What did he say?"

Thinking 'dang she doesn't waste any time', I answered, "He wasn't home, I left your letter on his bed."

With a disappointed expression, she stressed, "I want him to accept my apology."

Giving her a strange look, I suggested, "Maybe you should 'hope' he accepts your apology."

Shaking her head and looking at the ground, Charlotte shared, "I need him to forgive me."

As I nodded at her, I shared, "You apologized, now you have to give him time to forgive you."

Scowling at me she stomped off into the garage.

Thinking there was more to this than just an apology, I followed her.

"What's the real problem?" I questioned.

Appearing as though she was about to cry, Charlotte explained, "I feel bad...on the inside."

"I understand that but," I started before she shouted, "No you don't!"

Giving her a 'remember who you're talking to glare', I replied, "I bet I do."

With a huff she sat down on a table in the garage and shared, "We didn't have sex." As I scowled at her confused, she explained, "We were going to but y'all got there right before... We didn't."

Relieved but still confused, I asked, "Why wouldn't I understand that?"

"William's a virgin," she replied before waiting for the look of shock to wear off of my face and continuing to say, "Not only did I lie to him, I ruined what was supposed to be his first time. He's not like his brother. He was waiting for the right girl and he thought I was..."

Placing my hand on her shoulder, I imagined she did feel
pretty bad on the inside.

Back to my original plan for our meeting today
, I explained how my routines gave me a sense of calm and control. She seemed completely on board until I mentioned making her bed.

"No, I won't," she snapped.

Shaking my head at her, I fussed, "Seriously Charlotte, I think you can make your own bed."

Crossing her arms tight against her chest, she assured, "I can't." As I stared at her, she lowered her voice to a whisper and shared, "I won't do it right and then I'll get punished."

Something in her eyes told me more than her words as I suggested, "Maybe a good step for you is to realize you're not where you used to be. This is a different time and place and nothing will happen to you."

A panicky, "No," came before she hopped off of the table and started to walk away.

"You know, you have all these people that want to help you. Emerson, Amila and even William said you were worth helping and you won't even help yourself," I fussed pushing her to make the step.

Walking into the house, Charlotte didn't say another word to me before slamming the back door behind herself.

On the way home, all I could think about was the damn bathtub. Knowing something is over logically, doesn't erase the memory. I was right in what I told Charlotte. Amila and Emerson would never punish her for making her bed wrong and certainly not the way she was accustom to. By the time I made it home I considered taking my own advice. Until I was standing in my bathroom, at that moment I realized, I was nothing more than a hypocrite.

21

Family

My day started out
by leaving Sophia a voicemail before heading to work. When I arrived at work, I decided it was best to stay the whole day. There was some guilt in bailing on my job the last two days. In all the years I worked at JPT Financial, I only missed four days and that was because I had the flu and Mr. Thomas sent me home, claiming I would contaminate the entire office. It was time for me to get back on track and treat my day like just another day at work.

Call after call came through as I forwarded a few,
scheduled appointments and pulled up basic account information for clients. When my phone finally stopped ringing for more than a few minutes, I pulled a notebook out of my purse and started working on more steps and a list of questions for Charlotte.

While making my list, I quickly
covered what I was writing with my arm when Jackson tapped on the edge of my desk. Looking up, I saw him smile wide to reveal a cough drop between his top and bottom teeth before he winked at me and continued into his office. Rolling my eyes, I shook my head with a slight laugh.

I sat at my desk for a moment before deciding Jackson and I weren't beyond repair. Starting to get up, I was going to go in his office and ask him to come
by my house after the rec center when my phone rang.

"JPT Financial," I answered before Amila's voice was on the other end, saying, "Ren."

"Hey," I replied before asking, "Is everything okay?"

Sniffling before she spoke, Amila shared, "Charlotte is suspended for that fight but we were making her get up anyway and do chores because she's grounded. She didn't come out of her room this morning. When I went to see why she wasn't up, I found her in the closet.

Waiting for Amila to finish, I thought please don't let my pushing her have pushed her over the edge.

"What did y'all talk about yesterday?" she questioned.

As my chest grew tight I replied, "I set up a routine for her and..." before she broke in saying, "Ren, she hugged me."

With a huge sigh of relief, I asked, "Really?"

Choking up, she said, "I..I couldn't get her to come out. She just shook her head at me. Then, I noticed she made her bed. She's never done that before, so I told her she did a good job and she practically jumped out. She hugged me."

Feeling my eyes well up with tears, I replied, "That's good."

"In the two years we've had her, this is the first time she has showed anyone any type of affection," she shared before saying, "Ren, I know you're at work but I just had to tell you, whatever you're doing, it's working."

"Thank you for that," I appreciated before informing, "Oh, and I won't be by this evening. I'm having dinner at the Thomas' tonight."

Amila's tone changed as she asked, "Uh, how do you think that will go?"

Curious myself, I replied, "It should be fine."

With a little too much confidence, Amila responded, "I hope so."

"I have to get back to work but I will keep you posted."

After we
hung up, I continued my daily routine with a sense of peace and a feeling of relief that Charlotte was on a good path.

~

I never made it into Jackson's office to invite him over. Thinking there was always tomorrow, not only were we swamped with calls, four clients came in and then Jackson had to leave because of some hang up at the bar.

Changing out of my work clothes
, I threw on jeans and a sweater before walking a few houses down to the Thomas'.

Before I could knock on the door, Mr. Thomas opened it, saying, "Hey girl, I'm heading to pick up dinner."

Laughing a little because he still called me girl like I was young, I replied, "Okay."

When I walked
inside, Mrs. Thomas greeted me with a smile.

"Did you walk down?" she asked.

I replied, "Yes ma'am," and her smile grew wider.

"How have you been," she questioned.

Wondering if she knew about Jackson moving out, I replied, "I'm doing okay."

She started to say something and stopped as we both turned to see Jacks walking in.

Jackson and I gave each other a strange look before I turned back to Mrs. Thomas.

"Mom," Jackson said in a gravely voice.

With a serious expression on her face she stated, "You two are going to sit down and talk to each other. I don't want to know what happened. The two of you need to work it out," before turning and walking out of the living room and into the den.

After staring at each other for a moment, I said, "You don't have to talk to me."

Shrugging, he replied, "Thank you for the cold medicine and stuff you left for me."

Nodding, I asked, "You sound rough, how do you feel?"

"Better," he answered before asking, "How are you?"

I started to answer when the front door flew open and Auggie stormed in, griping, "There you are."

Stunned to say the least, I took a few steps back.

Auggie appeared furious as he threw an envelope at my chest.

"What the hell man?" Jackson blurted as loud as he could in his hoarse voice.

Reaching down, I picked up the envelope and asked, "What are you doing with this?"

Without answering me, he fussed, "You tell her to stay her ass away from my house and my brother!"

Narrowing my eyes at him, I questioned, "Why do you have his letter?"

"What is going on?" Jackson broke in just as his mom came in asking the same thing.

Auggie focused on Jackson for a moment, saying, "You need to keep your wife in check."

Mrs. Thomas quickly snapped, "Augustus!"

Glancing at her, Auggie looked at me and said, "You tell her, I'm not above calling the law on her for breaking and entering if she pulls another stunt like that."

"I'm the one that put the letter in his room," I snapped.

Shaking his head at me with an angry sound, Auggie griped, "Oh, so you're helping her ruin my brother's life?"

Trying to keep control of myself with Mrs. Thomas standing right next to me, I corrected, "No, I am trying to keep Charlotte from ruining her's. William will be okay."

"I know he will 'cause I'm gonna make sure of it," he spouted.

"By stealing his letter?" I snapped.

"Where's your loyalty, Ren? Its bad enough you and Roberts kicked in my door. Now you're defending her fake ass apology?"

Jackson broke in, asking, "What?"

Auggie didn't give me a chance to answer as he fussed, "Oh yea, Saturday afternoon her and Roberts kicked in the front door of my house."

Giving him a dirty look, I said, "It's not like we didn't have anything better to do and you know why."

Jackson held his hand up and turned to me, asking, "That's where you were?"

Ignoring Auggie for the moment, I lowered my voice and shared, "Amila called right after you left. They didn't know where Charlotte was so Emerson and I found her."

"At his house?" he questioned, motioning to Auggie.

With a 'your mom doesn't need to know' expression, I whispered, "She was there with William."

Apparently the cold medicine was making Jackson slow because he blurted, "But she's only seventeen."

To make matter's worse, William walked in with Sophia and Ailin right behind him.

The four of us watched the three of them walk in. It hurt that Sophia was purposely looking away from me.

William stepped towards us, saying, "Auggie, I'm responsible for what happened."

In a gruff voice, Auggie replied, "No that little lyin' whore is."

In unison, William and I said, "Don't call her that."

"She knows what she did was wrong and she's trying to make it right," I assured.

Shaking his head at me, Auggie swore, "It's her or us."

"No its not, I asked Ren to help her," William announced.

Realizing I still had Charlotte's apology letter in my hand, I held it out to William, "Here."

"Damn it Ren," Auggie blurted before saying, "You're a traitor. I'm glad my dad isn't here to see this. It would break his heart."

Furious, I snapped, "Please, Gus wouldn't be
here
anyway,
he'd be at the bar with Old Lou."

I heard Mrs. Thomas scold, "Ren," as Auggie clenched his teeth glaring at me, William looked at the ground and Ailin turned his head to the side.

Instan
tly remorseful, I wasn't making it up but hearing what came out of my mouth even hurt me a little.

Shaking my head, I swore, "I'm sorry...I didn't...I'm sorry."

"We're supposed to be family," Auggie uttered.

Taking a deep breath, I assured, "We are. I am so sorry I said that. I shouldn't have. I love this family. Charlotte has nothing to do with..."

"Family?" Sophia blurted.

I vaguely heard Mr. Thomas say, "I don't think I brought enough if everyone is staying," before Sophia continued, "You're gonna talk about family?"

Standing behind her, Ailin wrapped his arms around her, saying, "Not now Soph."

Jerking away from him, Sophia snapped, "Yes now,
she
wants to talk about how much
she
loves family then she can explain to everyone why she didn't tell me about mine."

"Sophia," Jackson warned before she looked at him, spouting, "Don't Sophia me, you knew too."

Tears
filled my eyes and I thought I might throw up.

Sophia referring to me as if I was a stranger and calling Henley family broke my heart and made me sick all at the same time.

"Since you're so
in love
with family, why don't you tell everyone why you never told me Henley was my father," Sophia spewed at me.

Glancing around at everyone, I started finding it hard to breath as I mumbled, "I'm sorry."

They
all stared at me waiting for a real answer, except for Mrs. Thomas. She was scowling as she looked away from me. I couldn't handle the moment. Feeling my hands shake, I rushed out of the Thomas' house.

With tunnel vision and ready to lose whatever was in my stomach, I staggered down to m
y house. Just as I was about to open my door, Jackson was next to me.

Wrapping his arms around me, his gravely voice was at a whisper, "It's gonna be okay."

Struggling against him, I argued, "No it won't."

Trying to keep his arms around me, he assured, "Yes it is, I'm here."

Pushing him away from me as hard as I could, I watched him stumble back as I shouted, "I want to be left alone. You can't make her stop hating me. Leave me alone."

Rushing inside, I locked Jackson out.
Sliding to the floor against the door just in case he thought about using his key, I pulled my knees to my chest. I wrapped my arms around my legs. Crying, I knew everything that was good in my life had slipped away, crumbling into nothing.