Enhanced: Brides of the Kindred 12 (The Brides of the Kindred) (45 page)

“I told you—he won’t see me,” Mei-Li shook
her head.

“
Make
him see you,” Kat suggested.
“Don’t just sit here moping and letting him call the shots. Put on something
cute and sexy and
you
go to
him.
Knock on his door and refuse to
leave until he opens up. When he finally does and invites you in, then you can
make your move.”

Mei-Li looked at her blankly. “If you’re
suggesting that I try to seduce him, I wouldn’t even know how to start. I mean,
he witnessed the death of his
family.”

“Which actually
happened
years
ago,” Liv said gently.

“Look, we’re not saying you should go in there
wearing black leather bondage gear and cracking a whip,” Kat pointed out. “But
there
is
such a thing as sexual healing. And it sounds to me like that’s
exactly what your man needs right now.”

“Hold him,” Sophia advised softly. “Put
your arms around him and don’t let go. It sounds like he lost everyone that was
important to him when he was very young—let him know he’s not going to lose
you, too. Not without a fight.”

Mei-Li straightened up in bed. “You
know…that’s not a bad idea. Why should I let him make this irreversible
decision on his own, without my input?”

“Now you’re talking!” Lauren grinned at
her. “Sometimes you have to fight for your man.”

“You’re right.” Mei-Li took a deep breath.
“I’m not going to give up. And even if…” She nearly choked but forced herself
to go on. “Even if he rejects me, at least I can tell myself I tried.”

“And when is he supposed to take that
emotion serum stuff?” Kat asked.

“Yipper said he’d have it ready within the
hour.” Mei-Li felt a sudden surge of panic. “Oh, no—I hope he hasn’t given it
to Six yet!”

“Call him on the viewscreen. Or wait—where
is he going to be? Let me try something.” Sophia closed her eyes tightly for a
few long moments and then opened them and smiled. “I just talked to Sylvan.
He’s helping your friend in the lab—he’s a doctor so he’s always interested in
new medical techniques.”

“And Yipper hasn’t finished the serum
yet?” Mei-Li asked tightly.

“He’s finished with it but he hasn’t given
it to Six yet. Sylvan said he was about to leave with it when I bespoke him.
But I told him to make, uh, Kipper wait.”

“It’s Yipper,” Mei-Li corrected
automatically. “But wait—you got all that from thinking at your husband? Or do
you have some kind of tiny invisible cell phone I don’t know about?”

The girls laughed. “No phone needed—once
you bond with a Kindred male, you get an instant telepathic link with them,”
Liv explained.

“It’s just one of the perks of bonding.”
Kat grinned at her. “Bonding
sex
is pretty amazing too, though.”

“What
is
bonding sex?” Mei-Li
frowned. “I read something about it in the Claiming Contract but I didn’t
really understand it.”

“It’s different for every kind of
Kindred,” Sophia said. “I’m, uh, not really sure what it would be like with a
Dark Kindred.”

“All I know is that Six didn’t think it would
be possible to bond with his emotion damper implant still in,” Mei-Li said.

“Well maybe it’s as simple as just being
able to form that connection—the bond,” Sophia said thoughtfully. “Since the
Dark Kindred start out without emotions to begin with.”

“Maybe…” Mei-Li frowned. “So that means if
I did, uh, have sex with him, it would lead to a bond?”

“I don’t know,” Liv said honestly. “Like
Sophie said, it’s different for every kind of Kindred. But if you did bond with
him, would that be a problem for you? Being tied together for life? Because
that’s what bonding means.”

“It’s the deepest, most beautiful
connection you can imagine,” Lauren said softly.

“It really
is
pretty amazing,” Kat
agreed. “Even if it does lead to multiple babies sometimes.”

“It sounds wonderful—if Six wants it. I
wouldn’t want to tie him to me if he didn’t want to be tied, though,” Mei-Li
said cautiously. “I’m not looking to trap him into anything.”

“I don’t think a bonding is possible
between two people unless both of them want it,” Sophia said thoughtfully. “So
I don’t think you need to worry about an accidental bonding.”

“Just go find your man and go with the
flow,” Kat advised. “But first, change your clothes. There’s nothing less sexy
than a hospital johnny.”

“I agree.” Mei-Li looked down at herself
ruefully. “But I didn’t exactly come here with a full wardrobe.”

“Well, we can help with that,” Liv said
confidently. “You’re too petite to borrow anything from any of us but I think
our friend Elise left some things when she and Merrick ran off to go explore
the universe together.”

“She’s about your size and she has
impeccable taste,” Sophia said.

“Her spare things are at my place,” Liv
said, getting up. “Why don’t you get up and take a shower and I’ll go see what I
can find.” She looked at her sister. “In the meantime, Sophie, get Sylvan again
and tell him to send that Yipper guy over here. I have an idea…”

Chapter
Thirty-four

Six paced back and forth, his long strides
eating up the short distance between the fireplace and the door and back again,
across the living area of the small guest suite. It had a fully stocked food
prep area and a sleeping chamber as well though the bed was strange and
inert—nothing like a proper
sousa.
Six thought it must be difficult to sleep
on a bed which did not respond to one’s request or conform to fit one’s body
comfortably. Not that he had been able to sleep—not with the memories preying
on his mind.

Gods, the memories!
Six pushed them aside and kept pacing the length of the
living area. Commander Sylvan had told him he could stay here as long as he
wanted to but Six couldn’t wait to be gone.

First, though, he had to get the injection
of emotion blocker serum that Yipper was making for him. Luckily, the little
Tolleg had brought most of the ingredients from his lab with him—probably to
keep them from falling into the hands of Two and the Collective. It was a good
thing because Six had gone through all the grief and horror he could stand. The
minute Yipper came through the door with the syringe, he intended to jab it
into his neck and let the cool rush of nothingness take him completely. Only
then, with the blessed numbness of non-emotion once more coursing through his
veins, could he finally be at peace.

The only bad thing was that Yipper would
be unable to suppress the memories this time. He had told Six that it would be
impossible to capture them and put them in a cache without the bulky equipment
he’d left behind in his enhancement area on the medical barge. That was
unfortunate but Six knew as long as he didn’t have emotions, the memories would
be no more than a minor distraction instead of the constant pain they were now.

Of course the pain
had
lessened
some, he admitted to himself. When he had first relived the memories, he’d been
certain that the threefold grief he experienced would drive him mad. Seeing
everyone he’d loved as a child die all over again in such a horrific way had
been almost more than his mind could bear. Six truly believed that if Commander
Sylvan hadn’t demanded his firearm before leaving him in the guest suite he
might have taken his own life.

But within a few hours, the effects of the
implant which Yipper had removed mercifully began to wear off. The feeling that
he had to blow his brains out to stop the flow of agony had lessened and the
memories had faded until the events he had relived now seemed to have happened
years ago instead of just yesterday. That was a relief and the result was that
now Six was simply miserable and no longer suicidal.

Miserable is bad enough,
he thought, still pacing.
Who knew there could be so
many negative emotions? Pain…horror…grief… Well no more—I’ve had my fill of
them. I never want to feel anything again.

What about the
other
feelings,
though?
whispered a little voice in his brain.
What
about Mei-Li? The taste of her lips, the scent of her hair, the feel of her
skin…you won’t care about any of that once you eradicate your emotions. She
will be nothing to you—nothing at all.

Six felt a twinge of guilt—another
negative emotion he would be happy to dispense with. He tried to push it away
but it wouldn’t go. It was true, he reluctantly admitted to himself, he didn’t
want to give up touching and caring for Mei-Li. The desire he felt for her when
they were together brought him to dizzying heights but it was more than just
sexual need that tied him to her.

He ached when he thought of never holding
her again—of never hearing her laugh or tasting her lips. The thought of
leaving her made his heart fist in his chest and gave him actual, physical
pain.

It was one of the reasons he had refused
to see her or talk to her—he was afraid she would make him change his mind. He
wanted to be with her—to cherish and protect her always. But he couldn’t be.
Not now.

Because if something happened to her…

Six tried to push the thought away and
couldn’t. The loss of his parents and sister had been bad enough. But what if
he was to somehow lose Mei-Li as well? One thing his newly remembered past had
taught him was that anyone you cared for could be taken from you at any time.
They might be perfectly happy and healthy one minute and the next minute
bleeding their life away from an incurable illness, or dead from a sudden
accident or any number of uncontrollable, unavoidable things. The universe was
filled with random factors, seeking to separate you from the ones you
cherished.

Better not to care in the first place.
Better to never feel so strongly for anyone again than to risk the kind of pain
he’d gone through when his family had died.

I can’t let myself care for her. I can’t.
Because if I do…if I take that risk and something happens to her…

He knew he couldn’t go through that pain
again. It would drive him mad. Better to lose his emotions and keep his sanity
intact. Better if he just took the emotion blocker and left the Mother Ship,
never to return.

“I have to go,” he murmured aloud, still
pacing. “I
have
to. It is the only thing to do. I—”

There was a sudden rapping at his door.

Yipper! He’ll have the blocker with him—he
promised.

Six strode to the door and reached for the
release panel…then stopped. Though he had been telling himself he couldn’t wait
to be rid of his emotions, for some reason he hesitated, unwilling to open the
door. But what else could he do? How else could he deal with the pain of his
past and avoid the inevitable pain of the future?

There was no other way. Six squared his
shoulders—it was time.

He reached for the door.

* * * * *

Mei-Li felt like her heart was about to pound
out of her chest as she stood in front of the plain metal door and prepared to
knock again. Was this really a good idea? Six had told Yipper in no uncertain
terms that he had no intention of ever seeing her again. Was she just setting
herself up for a mortifying failure, standing here in her borrowed finery and
hoping he would open the door to her?

Then again, she
did
have an ace in
the hole. She patted the little clutch purse the girls had loaned her to go
with her new green dress.

It was a simple emerald sheath that hugged
what few curves she had and made the most of her small breasts with its
sweetheart neckline. Her long black hair was freshly washed and brushed until
it fell in a smooth waterfall down her back, tickling her bare shoulders. Under
the dress was a black lace panty and bra set that had still had the tags on it
when Liv gave it to her. The lace cups of the bra had a sexy peek-a-boo effect
and the panties fit her to a T and barely covered anything at all. The new
lingerie felt sexy and naughty at the same time and Mei-Li loved it.

Black high heels which fit perfectly
completed her outfit. Mei-Li blessed the absent Elise for leaving such nice
things in her size and hoped the other woman really wouldn’t mind her wearing
them. She certainly felt much more confident dressed to the nines than she
would have in the baggy hospital johnny.

She patted her hair once more. Her makeup
was minimal but perfect and the dress looked stunning. Between the dress, the
shoes, the makeup and the hair, Mei-Li looked lovely and she knew it, even
without all the
oohs
and
aahs
she’d gotten from Sophia and her
friends when she came out of the changing room to show them her new look.
Still, it was nice to have their support. It gave her confidence which was
good—she needed all the confidence she could get right now.

She was just raising her hand to knock
again when the door finally slid open, revealing Six.

His eyes widened when he saw it was her
and the way his gray gaze flicked hungrily over her body gave her another
little boost. But though he plainly liked what he saw, his words didn’t reflect
it.

“Mei-Li—what are you doing here? I am
waiting for Yipper,” he said flatly.

“I know.” She crossed her arms over her
chest. “He told me what you were waiting for. He also said you didn’t want to
see me or talk to me.”

Six scowled. “In this Yipper was correct—I
do not wish to speak to you. Now if you will excuse me…”

The door’s silver panel started to slide
shut but Mei-Li put her size five shoe in the way and the sensors stopped it
just in time.

“Oh, no you don’t,” she declared, hoping
her voice didn’t shake too much. “I didn’t get all dressed up just to have you
slam the door in my face.”

A look of surprise crossed Six’s chiseled
features.

“What do you propose to do, then? I told
you, I do not wish to talk. My decision is made.”

“You might not want to talk but you’re
damn sure going to listen.” Mei-Li held up her clutch, making sure to keep it
out of his long reach. “I’ve got what you want right in here—the emotion
blocker.”

“You
have it?” His face darkened. “How—?”

“Yipper gave it to me. And this is the
only batch on the ship. So if you want it, you need to let me in and listen for
a little while.”

Grudgingly, Six stepped back, clearing the
doorway.

“Very well but nothing you can say will
change my mind. I want to be rid of these feelings—they weaken me and make me
unable to function. I refuse to be made vulnerable by emotion.”

“Feelings of pain and grief,
can
make you feel weak,” Mei-Li admitted, moving past him into the guest suite. “I
don’t blame you for being upset, Six. What happened to you—to your family…” She
shook her head. “I don’t have any words.”

“No words are necessary,” he growled,
following her into the living area. “Only the emotion blocker. Give it to me.”

“Not yet.” She motioned to the large,
sturdy couch made to fit a Kindred sized body. “Sit. I’m not done—not by a long
shot.”

He sat stiffly on the couch, his arms
crossed over his broad chest, and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Very well. Speak.”

“First of all,” she said cautiously, “I
want to thank you for what you did for me. The sacrifice you made so that I
could feel again was
beyond
amazing. I think I got only a fraction of
the pain you were going through while we were linked and it’s honestly the
worst thing I’ve ever felt.”

“That was the threefold pain.” He looked
away. “It is…less now. More bearable.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Mei-Li was
cautiously optimistic. “Then you’re feeling…”

“Less like I need to splatter my brains across
the wall to make it stop?” he growled. “Yes.”

Mei-Li closed her eyes briefly and took a
deep breath. God if he’d really be suicidal…she had probably come within a hair
of losing him! The thought left her feeling shaky and weak but she made herself
go on.

“Why did you go?” she said in a low voice.
“After the memory was over. Why did you leave if you were feeling that way? You
should have stayed with me—should have let me help you through it.”

“I do not need help,” Six said stubbornly.
“I am perfectly fine.”

“Perfectly fine?” Mei-Li didn’t bother to
try and keep the sarcasm out of her voice. “Is that why you’re running away
again? Looking for a way to stamp out your emotions instead of working through
them?”

“Why should I try to live with something
that makes me weak?” he demanded. “Why should I endure the feelings associated
with those memories if I do not have to?”

“Because not
all
emotions are bad
ones,” Mei-Li said gently. She scooted closer to him and put a hand on his
knee. He stiffened immediately but she didn’t remove her hand. “Six,” she said
softly. “There are positive emotions too. Caring and warmth and tenderness and
love.”

“So you say.” He swallowed hard and looked
down at her hand, still on his knee. “But so far most of what I have felt is pain.
I do not wish to bear it anymore.”

“Then let me
help
you bear it.”
Mei-Li got up on her knees to reach him better. She put an arm around one broad
shoulder and touched the back of his neck lightly, caressing the small bandage
that covered the healing scar left by his implant. “You got the emotion damper
when you were fourteen,” she murmured. “You had to—there was no one left to
help you deal with the trauma you suffered, to ease your pain. But I’m
here
now, Six. I want to help you bear it. Please…”

A shudder went through his big, muscular
frame and he closed his eyes.

“I cannot, Mei-Li.” His deep voice was
hoarse with longing. “I cannot deal with these emotions and I do not wish to.
Please…do not ask it of me.”

“I’m not asking you to stay or to change your
plans,” she said, taking a gamble. “I’m just asking you to let me ease your
pain. After all, you allowed yourself to feel it because of me—let me be the
one to help you heal from it.”