Enjoying the Chase (17 page)

“Thanks, Josh. If you want to come over
tomorrow and see him that
’
s fine, we
won
’
t be going anywhere.”

DJ didn
’
t see his dad that often because Josh could be a little flaky and
cancel on plans at the drop of a hat. I hated having to explain to DJ why Daddy
wasn
’
t coming to get him like he
’
d promised. The disappointed look on his face
always broke my heart a little.  Thankfully, since we
’
d moved to LA, it made it easier for him to see him now that we were
closer and he didn
’
t have to drive
for two hours to pick him up. So far, he hadn
’
t actually cancelled yet.

“Yeah? Okay, cool. I need to bring his
weekend stuff over anyway,” he whispered, as he pulled the bedroom door closed
quietly.

“Yeah, I
’
ll need that damn Woody doll back before bedtime tomorrow,” I
grimaced
. DJ was so into
Toy Story
it was unreal, actually, anything
Disney and he was there with bells on.

Josh
headed towards the door.
“I
’
ll go and let you
get some sleep.”

Now that he
’
d mentioned sleep I couldn
’
t help but yawn, it was past three in the morning already.

“Bye then, and thanks for the ride home.” I
yawned, waving, and then locking the door before heading to bed, not even
bothering to change out of my clothes.

I expected sleep to come quickly, but it
didn
’
t. Instead, I lay awake for
another hour wondering if I
’
d just
lost someone potentially important from my life. I couldn
’
t help but wonder what would have happened if I
’
d told Nate sooner about DJ. I
’
d only planned on leaving it for another couple of dates before I
told him anyway, at that point he probably would have run away from me as fast
as his legs could carry him. I knew that a guy like Nate wouldn
’
t want anything to do with a single mother, so
I
’
d planned on making the most of
being treated like a normal woman for just a few more dates.

I groaned and rolled over, squeezing my
eyes shut tight, trying to think of something else so I could fall asleep. In
the end, I recited the alphabet backwards until I was so bored I could stay
awake no longer.

I woke in the morning to the sound of
crying. I jumped out of bed so fast it actually made my head spin as I darted
out of my room and into DJ’s. He was sitting up in the bed, sobbing. I sat down
and wrapped my arms around him, rocking him gently.

“Okay, Baby? Does it hurt?” I asked,
stroking his hair. He shook his head and sniffed loudly. “Then why are you
crying?” I asked, feeling sick with worry.

“I left Woody at Daddy
’
s!” he wailed. I laughed with relief. “He would have been on his
owns, and he would
’
ve been scared
without me there all night!” He looked at me with his big teary brown eyes and
I couldn
’
t help but smile at him.

“No, Baby, Daddy was watching him for you.
He said he
’
d let Woody sleep in
his bed so he didn
’
t miss you too
much.” I lied, kissing his forehead and smoothing his messy bed hair. 

A weak smile twitched at the corners of his
mouth as he wiped his tears with his good hand. “Can we go gets him back
today?” he asked, pouting pleadingly.

“Daddy
’
s going to bring him back for you. Come on, let
’
s get some breakfast.” I lifted him out of the bed and hugged him
tightly to my side, carrying him through the apartment and sitting him up at
the table ready to eat. He sat there, munching his way through a bowl of cereal,
while I just watched him and silently thanked God that he
’
d broken his arm instead of his neck.

DJ kept glancing at his cast with a small
frown on his face. I knew exactly what would cheer him up though. “Hey, Baby,
you know what would be really cool?”

He shook his head looking at me curiously.
“No, what?”

“We could ask Auntie Anna to draw on your
cast. I bet if you found a really good picture of Woody or Buzz that she
’
d be able to draw it on there for you. How
cool would that be?” I offered, knowing he
’
d love that idea.

He gasped. “Will she?”

“Yeah, I bet she will. You can call her and
ask her later.” I looked up at the clock, wondering if ten a.m. was too early
for me to call Nate and apologise.

When DJ was done with his breakfast, I set
him in front of the DVD and headed into the kitchen to call Nate. The phone
rang for a long time, and finally, just as I was about to give up, he answered.
My heart seemed to stop dead. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to
explain why I hadn
’
t told him
earlier?

“Er, hey, Nate,” I mumbled, squeezing my
eyes shut.

“What do you want, Rosie?” he replied,
sounding a little gruff, as if I
’
d
woken him.

“I was hoping to be able to explain.”

A bitter, humourless laugh drifted down the
line. “Explain what? That you have a son and a boyfriend? Hell, maybe you even
have a husband for all I know. So, did you take off the wedding ring when we
went out or what?” he asked sarcastically.

I sighed, knowing I deserved his anger.

“I
’
m really sorry. I should have told you, but I just…
I don’
t know… it was nice for a little while to
have you look at me. I swear I didn
’
t mean to mislead you or anything, but I liked having your
attention. I guess I knew that as soon as you found out about DJ that you
’
d run a mile. I
’
m sorry, Nate. I was going to tell you though, I swear. Next week.”
I rested my forehead on the table. I actually wanted to cry, but I wouldn
’
t let myself, I had only known him for three
weeks; it was nothing serious, so I shouldn
’
t be upset about it.

“So your husband doesn
’
t treat you nice any
more, doesn
’
t take you
out, so you just decided to go have a little fun with a new guy? Screw him and
screw family?” Nate replied acidly.

Screw family? Is he kidding me right
now? How dare he just assume things about me and my family!

“Nate, you need to chill out. I know I didn
’
t tell you about DJ, but don
’
t you dare start assuming anything about my
family values. I put
everything
on hold for my family! I
’
d lay down and die for my son in a heartbeat,
so don
’
t even think about telling
me I
’
ve done something wrong by
him, because I haven
’
t!” I
snapped
angrily.

“Breaking up a family for a seedy affair
is
doing something wrong, Rosie!” he cried.

I frowned, a little shocked. Breaking up a
family? Did he think I was actually
with
Josh? Was that why he kept
saying the word husband… he thought I was married and cheating with him?

“Nate, Josh and I aren
’
t together any
more.
I haven
’
t been with him for over
three years. It
’
s just me and DJ
on our own,” I said quietly.

My explanation was met with silence for a
few seconds.

“But… you… I… it…”
he
stuttered.

I said nothing. I should have told him
earlier than this; it was unfair of me to lead him on but
realistically
we were both using each other for different things anyway. He didn
’
t say anything else for a full minute and I
was pretty sure I held my breath the whole time. My stomach was starting to
hurt at the rejection. I silently wished I
’
d just trusted my instincts and stayed away from him altogether. I
’
d had first-hand experience of what guys like
him did to girls; I knew he was trouble, but I hadn
’
t been able to keep a distance.

“You
’
re not with that guy?” he asked finally.

“No. Josh and I broke up a long time ago.”
I swiped angrily at the tear that fell down my face.
Damn it, why the hell
am I crying? Grow up, woman, you
’
re being pathetic. You
’
re stronger than this!

“I-I guess I jumped to conclusions then.
But that kid, he
’s your son?
”

“Yeah,” I confirmed. “He
’
s four, and his name
’
s DJ. Well, actually, his name
’
s Damon Josh, but no one calls him that really, we all just kind of
shorten it,” I mumbled, rambling like I seemed to do a lot around him. I forced
myself to stop talking before I made myself sound like an idiot.

“Is he alright? What was he at the hospital
for?” Nate asked, actually sounding concerned.

I smiled sadly. In a way, it was easier
when he was mad with me. Nate being all sweet and concerned about my son, was
just making it harder because it just showed exactly what I
’
d missed out on.

“He
’
s okay now. Apparently he was jumping on the bed and fell off. He
’
s fractured his arm. He
’
s got a cast and stuff, but he
’
s fine.
” I stood up and walked to the door,
peeking around the doorframe to see DJ still sitting there watching Cars on
DVD.

“He broke his arm? Damn that
’
s rough. I broke my arm when I was a kid, it
hurts like hell for a while. Make sure you give him plenty of ice cream and
candy. It
’
s the only thing that
takes the pain away, and that
’
s
coming from personal experience,” he joked.

I chuckled.
“I
’
ll be sure to do that. Thanks for the advice.”

“Sure thing. Want to meet me and talk some
more?”
His voice was surprisingly hopeful
.

Oh my God, he isn
’
t running?

Of course, I wanted to meet up and talk –
but I didn
’
t want to get my hopes
up, after all, he could just want to clear the air so that it wasn
’
t awkward next time we saw each other at
Cameron
’
s christening. He couldn
’
t possibly still be interested in me… could
he?

I knew the answer to that was no. For the
last three weeks, I
’
d just been
fooling myself, living a fantasy where I got treated nicely. A fantasy where I
didn
’
t have to worry about chores,
or the babysitter, or bedtime, or if I was going to have enough money to make
it through the month. It was nice just pretending with him for a little while
that I was attractive and needed, that I wasn
’
t lonely, and didn
’
t
cry myself to sleep because I had no one to hold me when I was worried or
scared. It was nice to just have someone for a short time. 

“Umm, I
’
d like to, but I don
’
t
have a sitter. DJ was supposed to be staying with his dad this weekend, but
because of last night he
’
s now
back home.”

“I could come to you?” Nate suggested.

“
No, no, don’
t. We won
’
t be able to
talk with DJ here, and there
’
s
really no point in that.” Not being able to talk with my son there wasn
’
t exactly the only reason, but I didn
’
t want to get into that right now with him.

“Oh, right. Yeah, I didn
’
t think about that. There are some things I
need to say though, and I don
’
t
really want to do it over the phone,” he replied dejectedly.