Entangled Interaction (13 page)

Blinking, I shot him a funny look. "Huh?"

"Dress you in a leather bustier, attach a spreader bar to your ankles. Oh, do I have the perfect toys for that delicious body…" He licked his lips.

I squirmed in my seat.

He grinned wickedly. "I want to tie you to the bed, paddle that cute little ass until it's fire engine red, while you beg me to…"

"Switch!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Everyone dutifully scooted over another seat.

Next on my path was an average looking blond man. At least he looked clean and decent.

"Hi. I'm Shy. What are you looking for in a woman?" Might as well get to the point before I wasted too much breath on psychos.

He sat forward a bit. "My woman will stay at home, cook my meals, clean the house, and have my children. She will know her place and treat me like the bread winner and king that I am." He sat back. "So…?"

I gawked at him and shook my head. "No way."

He huffed. "Women should know their place."

"Yeah, well, some men need to be castrated!"

"Switch!"

I quickly slid over to sit in front of Santa Claus. He had the whole costume down perfectly, from the bright reds, spotless white trim, and even the black boots looked freshly shined. Not to mention, he really did have a cute button nose to go along with that white beard.
What did one say when considering going for a date with Santa? My place or yours? Can I go on a sleigh ride? Meet Rudolph? How do you get down those chimneys exactly? When you travel all night long, don't you have to stop and pee now and again? With so many elves do you have a little person's fetish?

"My dear, have you been naughty this year?" His deep voice broke into my bunny trail thoughts.

I blinked at Santa. "Ummm. I'm always good."

He tsked at me.

"I thought you already know who's been naughty and nice?"

He flashed a crooked grin. "Oh, but the naughty ones are the ones I'm looking for. They can sit on my lap, confess their bad behaviors then I shall spank them."

My mouth dropped open. Good grief. Maybe he didn't have a little person fetish after all. He certainly had a spanking fetish.

"I thought you had a little people fetish." The words tumbled out of my mouth.

He frowned. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. You live at the North Pole with elves and reindeer." I perked up. "Omigod! You have a beast… a beast… you lust after reindeer!"

Everyone shut up and stared at the jolly old elf. He choked and sputtered while his face turned as red as his suit.

"Switch!"

I quickly sat across from a young man with a painted white face. He opened his mouth to greet me, flashing a set of fangs.

That would explain the black cape he wore and the Eddie Munster hairdo.

"I want to drink your blood," he mumbled around the fangs.

I rolled my eyes. "You know, it's not quite the glamorous and romantic lifestyle you think it is."

"What?" he questioned, obviously still learning to talk around those fangs. I didn't think they were real, but I wasn't about to stick my finger in his mouth to find out.

"You know. Stalking people to get your fill of blood. Drinking in some dark alley. You have to erase their mind afterward. Oh, yeah. Can't forget that Buffy wannabes are out there with stakes looking for just your kind. Oh, and the second the sun comes up, you are fried to the cement. Sizzle just like an egg." I made a frying sound.

He turned his head, obviously perplexed. "How do you know?"

I shrugged, then leaned in to whisper. "I bet if you would take off the costume and be yourself, half the women in here would be more than eager to give you their phone numbers."

"Really?"

I nodded. "Really. Be yourself. That's what a woman's looking for."

A crooked smile appeared. "Thanks."

After the called move, I found myself looking at Elvis. The middle aged, pudgy belly in a jump suit, Elvis.

"I'm a hunka hunka burning love." He even had the voice down pat, not to mention that famous sneer.

I stared drolly at him. "Yeah, well, I'm blinded by the light shining off your rhinestones!" My hand automatically went over my eyes in an attempt to ease the flashes of painful intensity.

He must have taken that for a bid of interest as he stood, kicked back his chair, and did the Elvis spread, arm circles, and a bit of air guitar mixed in. "I don't know which way to go."

I knew where he could go.

The "Switch" call happened before I could tell Elvis just that.

My final stop landed me in front of a sharply dressed middle-aged man. His suit looked freshly pressed, a light brown to set off his darker hair. Nails were clean and trimmed. He even smelled of Aqua Velva.

"Hi."

He smiled at me. "Good evening. I'm Joe."

"Nice to meet you, Joe. I'm Shy." I grinned hesitantly.

"And do you believe in your salvation?"

"Salvation?"

He nodded, the plastered grin didn't budge. "Your salvation. In order to be granted entrance to your reward, your eternal home, you need to provide for the ones who would guide you there."

"Huh? Guide me where?"

"My dear. If you wish eternal salvation, you must contribute to the funds of those who help guide you."

The light bulb clicked on. "Omigod. You're that televangelist, Jim Baker!"

His smile quickly faded. "No. My name is Joe."

"I've seen you on the news! You stole all that money from the people, promising them great things, and instead, you paid for Tammy Faye's plastic surgery and eyelashes!"

His voice lowered and became sterner. "I did not. Lying is a sin."

"Compared to fraud?"

He stood to glare down at me. I shot to my feet as well, purse in hand.

"You're the devil incarnate!"

"Yeah, well…" I swung my purse, smacking him over the head with it. A loud thump sounded as he flipped over the back of the chair and lay unmoving.

All eyes focused on me and the now unconscious Joe, aka Jim. Utter quiet reigned until quiet whispers broke through the silence.

Speed dating wasn't all it was cut out to be.

After such a frustrating, dismal experience, I headed quickly to my car, checking over my shoulder now and again to make sure Mr Freaky BDSM guy wasn't following or the Televangelist hadn't woken and decided to personally send me to Hell. Didn't really want to meet either in a dark alley without some serious Taser juice at my disposal.

After a quick glance backward, I spotted a motorcycle sitting in the space next to my car. Slowing my pace, I focused on the figure, hoping I wouldn't be forced to use my purse as a weapon again. Once I could probably get by with. A second time might push my luck and toss me back in the slammer with Big Bertha. I shuddered at the memories of that less than thrilling experience.

The male body jingled a memory. Tall, muscular, toned; butt you could happily squeeze 'til the cows came home.

He lifted the helmet off, releasing the long waves of near ebony. Dark blue eyes sparkled in the dim light. "Hey."

Black leather pants molded to those legs and bottom, while a white button-down shirt flittered in the breeze. From the looks of his attire, he either was on his way to or from work.

I strolled closer, readjusting my purse on my shoulder. "Now, this is a surprise."

He shrugged before his attention focused on the chattering people leaving the same door I recently vacated. "After work meeting?"

"Something like that."

His eyes focused on my face for a long moment before a devilish smile slowly formed. "Speed dating, baby?"

My jaw dropped open before I clammed back up. Someone must have blabbed to him about my plans for the evening. Since I only told Jessica, she had to spill the beans to someone else who took it upon themselves to mention this little tidbit of my life to Meat. When I found out whom, they would be indefinitely cut off from any more cookies. Infuriating hyena didn't need to know everything.

"Who, me?" I followed with my best innocent blink.

He actually laughed. "Find anyone interesting? Got any dates lined up?"

I worried my lip for a second. "Wouldn't you like to know?" I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin. No sense in letting him see how badly I bombed at speed dating. His ego matched that of an entire professional sports team.

He lifted a leg, sliding off the cycle in a motion of grace. Eyes never leaving my face, he ambled toward me, stopping only to reach out with a large hand and cradle my cheek. "I'm more man than any of those others."

Oh, yeah. Arrogance in spades.

"None of them want you nearly as much as I do."

"Well…" I thought about the freaky BDSM guy. Yeah, I would say he wanted me, in a depraved, scary porn movie fantasy.

His thumb stroked over my lip. "Don't tell me you found a date."

I so wanted to tell him I did, just to wipe that expression of confidence down a notch or two. With a sigh, I looked down, toeing the pavement. "Not really."

He nodded to my hand. "You got a number, though." A small grin teased the corners of his mouth.

Glancing at the card, I released a breath. "Yeah, one." I waited a beat before mumbling, "He decided I would make a better therapy patient than date, though."

Meat threw back his head and guffawed.

My foot came up on its own accord and kicked the animal in the shin.

What was it with men tonight? Full moon? Invasion of the odd and arrogant?

"Oh, baby. Who's your friend?" a slightly familiar voice chimed in.

I spun around to see that sure enough Mr Freaky BDSM guy had indeed followed me, yet his gaze didn't fixate on me. Instead, he raked Meat from head to toe. Judging by the expression on the guy's face, he sure liked what he saw.

Meat glanced at the guy in return. One eyebrow lifted as he looked back to me. "Do I want to know?"

"The things I could do with him." The guy licked his lips and stared pointedly at Meat's rear.

With a sigh, I shook my head. "This is the guy who actually wanted me. In a scary, BDSM, heavy on the sadist kinda way."

Meat glanced from me to the creepy guy once more, taking in a long look before rolling his eyes. "The men you attract."

I smiled. "Yeah. Just remember you're in that category."

He snorted before focusing on Mr BDSM. "Go sniff elsewhere. Neither of us is remotely interested."

"Man, you'd make an excellent pet. Get a collar on you and…"

A deep growl emitted from Meat's wide chest. His large hand whipped out to grab the guy by the throat. "I'm no one's pet." Eyes blazed with fury while long fangs flashed in the limited light of sundown. He easily lifted the smaller man off his feet and shook him hard enough to loosen teeth before giving him a less than gentle toss.

The guy bounced on the pavement before struggling to stand upright and dash clumsily for safety, tripping over his own feet more than once as Meat continued to growl in his wake. He dared to look back, fell on the ground, then crab-crawled until he found his footing once more. I couldn't be sure, but judging by the look on his face, the guy probably needed a fresh pair of undies.

"Now where were we?" Meat slowly turned his attention back to me.

I lifted my foot, ready to give him an exact demonstration, but he sidestepped out of harm's way.

A small grin kicked up the corner of his lips, in stark contrast to the fury presented moments before. "Uh uh. Once was more than enough."

My head lowered as I squirmed under his scrutiny. "I…"

"We…"

We began to speak at the same time, paused, then smiled at one another.

"You go first," I encouraged before I lost all pride and confessed how much I missed him.

He lifted my chin with an index finger. "I've had a lot going on lately, which is why I haven't been around."

I held my breath.

He sighed, then leaned in to brush a tender kiss across my lips. "I've missed you, baby."

"You did?" I tilted my head when he put a few inches of space between our bodies.

His stormy blue eyes sparkled. "You wanted me to show you that I want you."

"Yes." I softly whispered around the knot of worry and hope stuck in my throat.

A full smile lit up his face as he reached for my hand. "Then come on." A tug on my arm set my feet to moving toward his bike.

I stared down at the seat, second thoughts racing. "Where… where are we going?" My fingers wrapped around the helmet shoved toward me.

He strapped on his, then grinned impishly through the open visor. "Out for ice cream, of course."

All worries dissipated with his playful statement.

I feared having to fend off his advances of simply wanting to jump right back in the sack instead of working on us as a couple.

Relief raced through me, leaving a sincere beam on my face. "I happen to like ice cream."

Quickly, I pulled on the helmet and snapped down the visor while Meat climbed back on the bike. I stood on tiptoe and climbed aboard with Meat's strong left arm giving me a boost.

Moments later, we zipped down the street, my arms wrapped snugly around him, my purse squished between us with the strap wrapped over my shoulder, my head pressed between his shoulder blades. And my cheeks began to ache from the constant smile that refused to fade.

Several minutes later, Meat and I strolled down a bark mulch-covered pathway, meandering between the towering and elderly trees of a nearby park. I licked my double-decked ice cream cone with appreciation as he crunched on the last of his.

"I had just about given up hope on you." The words revealed my deep thoughts.

He glanced down at me, the corners of his mouth kicking up when my tongue reached out to make yet another circle around the base of the treat. "Is that why you opted for a session of speed dating?"

I shrugged absently. "Maybe."

His fingers reached out to catch my swinging hand, twining his fingers with mine. Using the leverage he pulled me to a stop, facing me with a serious expression covering his face. "I had some thinking to do."

"What kind of thinking?" I inquired, then frowned as Meat leaned in, mouthing the remainder of my ice cream, leaving a bare fraction of cone in my hand. "Hey! I was eating that."