EPIC: Fourteen Books of Fantasy (39 page)

Most of it? Would she want me to do the cooking, make the fire, and buy things from the market? Wouldn’t I make people sick and spread the plague again? Mother seemed to have completely forgotten what was inside of me. It was like I wasn’t sick at all. Even Varago didn’t seem bothered by it.

‘As long as I’m paid, I’ll do it ‘til I’m sick of it,’ Jemely replied. ‘A maid would do a better job. Now, you got new bedclothes here, but there’s still a stink. Let’s take a look.’

Jemely and Mother grunted with the effort of taking apart the bed. The smell worsened as linen thumped on the floor. I pinched my nose.

Jemely laughed. ‘Hah, you’ll have to be tougher than that.’

Wanting to prove I
was
tough, I removed my hand.

‘Well, it’s soaked through. Your pillow beres seem intact. The featherbed is ruined, but the straw mattress is untouched. I’ll have to get a bag of feathers today, and we’ll make you another featherbed. Do you prefer chicken down, or do you want somethin’ nicer?’ Jemely asked Mother.

Mother sighed. ‘The feathers are Bivinian goose-down. I’ll never see fine filling like this again.’

Jemely snorted. ‘I might be able to find some duck, though it’ll cost a pretty coin.’

‘So be it,’ Mother replied.

‘All right, let’s get you clean.’

‘Adenine can manage,’ Mother replied, and I wondered if she was embarrassed to have Jemely do it. ‘Just fetch the bucket, soap, and cloth for her.’

‘Fine.’ There was a scraping noise. ‘Here you are, Adenine. Here’s a cloth.’ Jemely put a piece of soft cotton into my hand. ‘Bucket is by the bed, should be warm, and here’s your soap.’ She put a bar the size of a small brick into my hand. I found the bucket and placed the soap beside it.

‘Gots to be off now to help Varago. My unpaid work never ends. Adenine, the fire will need stoking. You’ll need to bring up some wood from outside; stock is low. There’s more stew sitting on the coals, and it’ll need moving before it sticks to the bottom. You’ll be scrubbing that pot raw if it does. I’ll take the dirty dishes and wash them. I’ll also wash these other soiled sheets and your dirty nightgown, Capacia.’

I realised Mother was naked, and I hoped she wasn’t cold.

‘I’ll be back in the evening,’ Jemely added.

‘Thank you, Jemely. We’ll be fine,’ Mother said.

Jemely touched my left shoulder, and I jumped, and then her footsteps disappeared from the room. Mother and I were alone, but knowing what was to come, I felt awkward. Not only was I uneasy about what kind of muck I might find on her body, but cleaning her would be an uncomfortable closeness.

‘Quickly, Adenine,’ Mother urged.

I breathed through my mouth, wet the cloth, soaped it, and wiped the places she couldn’t reach. I was swift, yet thorough, and luckily the places I didn’t want to clean, she could reach. Since she could no longer move her legs, we fought hard to get her clothes back on afterward.

‘Much better,’ she said, breathing heavily with the effort of dressing. ‘One should never have to sleep and live in one’s own filth.’ She laughed nervously, the first and only sign of her discomfort. In a way, I liked knowing she found the process as odd as I did.

‘Now, my precious girl.’ She tugged at my arm and pulled me onto the bed beside her.

The bad smell was gone from her skin, and I was happy to be close to her. In fact, the soap had left her smelling like flowers.

‘We have many things to discuss. The first, our little shop… Mystoria will not run on its own. The store must open. Otherwise, we will become poor and be forced to sell everything. We would lose our house. If your father were…’ She stopped for a moment. ‘Well, we can do this together, can’t we?’

I scratched my face and nodded.

‘Good. You’re courageous, just like your father.’

That word lingered in my mind. Father. I missed him so much, and then I couldn’t stop the tears that flowed from my eyes. I swatted at them with the backs of my hands.

‘Oh, Adenine. I know this is hard. Come here.’ Mother put an arm around me and pulled me against her. ‘You are making me so proud. Everything you do amazes me. You can and will do so much more. It’s going to be hard, but I will be there with you. We can do this together, yes?’

‘Y-Yes, Mama.’

For the rest of that day, Mother set me to tasks. Some of them seemed useful, but others less so. She assured me that doing chores would help develop my confidence in the invisible world around me. The barricade door that used to separate the second floor from the first was unlocked, and it was up to me to fetch wood stocks from the backyard.

Mother seemed calm about the possibility of me infecting people. She didn’t worry at all, in fact, and that confused me. She never mentioned it or talked about it, and it had been a long time since I’d taken my medicine. Was I cured?

Travelling up and down the stairs was tiring, but the woodpile was soon full, and I had no doubt that the staircase leading from the second floor down to Mystoria contained sixteen stairs. I was also tired. Finding my way around a large house in the dark was difficult. It wasn’t completely dark though. The ever-present red glow of my eyelids kept me company. Red by day, maroon by firelight.

I imagined the light of the world was somehow magical and that it called to me, wanting to be my friend. Mother thought that was nonsense. She also warned me not to put so much energy into witches’ thinking. She had never before mentioned witches as if they could be real. Well, other than the healers, which were usually referred to as witches or golden-whores.

Imagination or not, the red glow of my eyelids was a comfort, and I had never liked the dark. In winter, the fireplace in the attic kept the room in a soft light until morning. At least that was how I remembered it. In summer, Mother would light a candle. I remembered some colours better than others—the ripe red of a tomato, the green of leaves—yet I struggled to remember Father’s voice.

That night, Varago brought us the freshly washed sheets and more food. ‘How are you, Adenine?’

I shrugged.

‘I see. Well, neither good nor bad is still good in my opinion.’ He made his way to Mother’s bed. ‘You’re looking
and
smelling better, Capacia, though still a little pale.’

‘Praise you for bringing me these clean sheets. It’s astonishing what one takes for granted when one can walk. Thank Jemely for me also. It was an awful job she had to do.’

‘Posh, don’t you think on it. Jemely is spoiled and needs lessons in life. My being the only doctor in a small town has brought her comforts most girls don’t experience.’

‘Well, she’s a willing girl. Adenine helped me bathe today. She also fetched firewood and supplies, and even brought me water and food.’

‘Wonderful. What a smart girl you are, Adenine. You’re lucky you have such a dependable daughter, Capacia.’

I stiffened. Why did Mother tell Jemely that I was Uncle Garrad’s daughter if Varago knew who my real parents were?

‘Yes. I am lucky…’ she trailed off as if she didn’t believe she was lucky at all. And I knew why—I was a curse on her.

‘I’ve been giving it some thought,’ he said. ‘You can’t stay in bed here all day so we’ve got to find a way for you to move around.’

‘Yes. I’ll go mad if I stay here, Varago. You know me. But how? I’m too heavy for Adenine to lift.’

‘Hmm. Well…’

‘Why are you looking at the ceiling?’ Mother laughed, and the sound chased away the dreary feel of the house.

Varago chuckled. ‘You have a strong ceiling. See those beams? If we hung a rope up there, you could grab it and pull yourself up.’

‘I couldn’t lift my own weight, could I?’

‘You wouldn’t have to exactly. I’ll ask around first to figure out some sort of pulley system. And the more you use it, the stronger those feeble little arms of yours would become.’

‘Are you calling me weak?’

He chuckled again. ‘Of course.’

‘You know it sort of sounds like I would have a child’s play swing in my room.’ She laughed louder and not an inch of the house was left untouched by it. Her mood lightened mine, and I thought Varago’s suggestion was thrilling. If Mother could get out of bed, we might be able to get her downstairs to the shop.

‘And how will I move around without the use of my legs?’ she asked. ‘It’s hopeless. Unless Adenine manages Mystoria, we’ll have no coin left within the month.’

‘I can do it, Mama. I can run the store.’

‘She’s one brave girl isn’t she? Like her mother. Why don’t you try to teach her, Capacia? I’ve seen younger girls do more.’

‘But she can’t see if someone gives her the right coin, or whether someone steals things, or what the objects she’s selling look like.’ Mother sounded downcast.

I felt guilty that I couldn’t help. The idea of Varago’s swing invention seemed to have given her short-lived hope, but that faded in the light of my uselessness.

‘You could be Adenine’s eyes,’ Varago said.

‘And how am I going to get down to the store and back up here every day? Shall I drag myself across the floor like a dog?’ Mother’s words turned to sobs.

I had upset her by offering to help.
She
wanted to manage the store. She didn’t want her pitiful daughter doing it.

‘There, there. Let it out. There’s much for you to grieve over, Capacia, but once it’s done, let it be final. Look to yours and Adenine’s future. In two days, you’ll hear from me again. I’ll find a method by which you can move about. The rich can be blind too, and it’s possible one of them has engineered something beneficial, eh? You need to feel useful. All women do. Have faith, and we’ll find a solution.’

‘A woman needs a husband,’ Mother snapped and the weight of Father’s death pressed on me again.

‘Get some sleep now. Take some of this. It will help to keep you in the dream state until morning.’

‘I’ve no need for sleep aids, but I am grateful anyway, Varago.’

‘As you wish. Goodnight, Adenine.’

‘Varago, wash your hands before you go. You might carry my illness on you.’

After a long silence, Mother said, ‘Adenine, Varago is a doctor. He is always clean.’

‘That’s true, Adenine. It’s my job to bathe regularly. Twice a day. I’ll go straight home and bathe again. Does that ease your mind?’

I nodded.

‘Then good evening to you both.’ Varago left. The previous conversation had gone from hopeful to hopeless. The fire still blazed in the hearth, and I left to extinguish it. I derived a small glimmer of delight from the hiss it made as I drenched it with water. Once I was back in the comfort of Mother’s bed, many thoughts replaced the silence of the house.

‘How I wish your father was alive,’ Mother said and put an arm around me.

‘I miss him too. It’s my fault Father died.’

‘Now you’ll not be thinking like that anymore. What happened, happened. Your father acted hastily and without thought. Learn from your father’s mistake. Think before you act.’

‘But I made him kill his brother. If I was not here—’

‘Hush. No more.’ She pulled me closer and rubbed the back of my nightgown. ‘Sleep now, and tomorrow we will come up with a plan to get by. We can survive this. Listen to your mother, and all will be well.’

With my head against her chest, I listened to her heartbeat. The rhythm of it was like a soft drum that I followed all the way to sleep.

Chapter IX

I 
WAS
STARTLED
AWAKE
BY
the sound of a crash. I felt around the bed for Mother, but the area next to me was empty.

‘Mama, are you well?’

My question remained unanswered for a few moments, and then there was laughter. Lots of laughter.

‘Yes. I am very well. Oh, how pathetic I am, but I will not stay in this dreary bed one moment longer, nor in this prison of a room. The blood of strong women runs through us, Adenine. To lay here would be to give up.’

I crawled towards the sound of her voice, and when I found the edge of the bed, I offered my hand to her.

She stopped laughing and tapped it away. ‘I am not going to keep soiling this bed. I’ve already ruined the goose down from the Royal Tailors Society of Bivinia. It’s the best, and how terrible of me to make a putrid mess for you, my sweet Adenine. Find me a large bowl from the kitchen, oh, and a chair… yes.’

As I was gathering the items, I chose a pail instead of a bowl. When I returned, I made sure to count my steps.
Seven to the chairs, three more to the kitchen bench.

‘Good girl. Now…’

I heard banging, scraping, and then sounds that made me lie back down on the bed and wait for Mother to be done.

‘What relief,’ Mother said, laughing. Then, she sighed. ‘That smells horrid, doesn’t it? Now listen carefully. You must empty this bucket into the latrine outside. The bucket is deep, so you won’t spill any as long as you don’t fall or trip.’

Outside again?
‘Mama? Am I not sick anymore?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘People touch me, and nothing happens to them, and you don’t seem to care about me going outside.’

‘Oh, well… um… no. You’re not sick anymore.’

‘So people won’t get hurt if I touch them now?’