Equivocal Death (33 page)

ing that nothing had happened, she could actually make it so.

7

“So what’s going on at work?” Kate asked between spoonfuls 8

of spicy soup. She felt an urge to reconnect with the Samson & 9

Mills she knew, a fast-paced, rational world that hummed like a 10

well-oiled machine. A world where everything was clearly linked 11

by cause and effect. A world where violence never occurred.

12

“Let’s see.” Justin leaned back into the couch. “The big news to-13

day is that Drescher threw a stapler at a paralegal.”

14

Kate leaned forward. “He
what?
”

15

“It was Erik Parks, a new kid. Just graduated from Amherst.

16

Anyway, Drescher had him stamping some huge document pro-17

duction. Parks had never done it before. He went back to ask 18

Drescher some question, and Drescher just started screaming at 19

him. Parks tried to back off, but I guess he wasn’t fast enough.”

20

Kate shook her head. Stories like this were the stuff of Samson 21

legend, usually evoking an incredulous amusement. And yet, 22

tonight Kate couldn’t quite see the humor. The story just seemed 23

bizarre. Bizarre and a little frightening.

24

“Did the stapler hit him?” she asked softly.

25

“No. He was plenty scared, though.” Justin bit into a spring roll 26

and chewed for a moment, reflective. Then he wiped his mouth 27

with a napkin. “I talked to him at lunch. I mean, he was trying to 28

laugh it off, but you could tell that it had freaked him out.”

29

“Well, of course. God.” Kate’s thoughts returned to her own re-30

cent confrontations with Drescher. The repressed rage in his face 31

when he’d expelled her from Madeleine’s office. Her narrow escape 32

later that evening, when she’d hidden under his desk. She’d really 33

gotten off easy. Nothing at all like last night. . . . In an instant, 34 sh

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she was back in her unlit office. She could feel Chuck Thorpe’s 2

hands.

3

No.
Don’t think about that.

4

“Kate?” Justin was looking at her strangely.

5

“Sorry, I just lost my train of thought for a second. What were 6

you saying?”

7

“Just that I’ve got another one, another colorful story from the 8

annals of S&M.”

9

Justin was clearly relishing the opportunity to play raconteur, 10

and Kate made an effort to seem responsive. “Okay, shoot.”

11

“So do you know Daniel Weisbach?”

12

The name sounded vaguely familiar, but Kate didn’t feel up to 13

sorting through the possibilities. “Yeah, I think so,” she hedged.

14

“He’s a third-year. Went to law school at NYU.”

15

“Okay.”

16

“So he’s this really hard worker. But, because of the Sabbath, he 17

has to leave work early on Fridays and can’t work on Saturdays at 18

all. So he’s sort of been trying to make up for it by pulling these 19

constant all-nighters during the rest of the week.”

20

“And?”

21

“He was interviewing some guy from Harvard today for a sum-22

mer associate job. All of a sudden Weisbach starts feeling a little 23

queasy.
He excuses himself, and steps out into the hall. His secre-24

tary instantly sees that something is wrong. Then Weisbach just 25

keels over. They call in the medics and cart him off to the hospital.

26

It turns out that he has walking pneumonia and a hundred-and-27

three-degree fever. Not to mention that he’s seriously dehydrated.

28

He said he’d been too busy to notice.”

29

Again, Kate shook her head. She tried to summon up a smile, 30

but it died on her lips. In the past, she’d reveled in the gallows hu-31

mor that accompanied the telling of these tales: the guy who com-32

mitted suicide after working two 125-hour weeks in a row; the 33

female associate who fell silent in the middle of a late-night con-ort 34

ference call only to be discovered later at her desk, phone still in reg 35

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hand, and very, very dead, the victim of a sudden heart attack. The 1

stories had always seemed unreal, like incidents from a movie. Kate 2

had even laughed. But tonight the reality hit her. These were real 3

people, real people who had died. What had she found to laugh at?

4

There was nothing funny about death.

5

“You know, in Japan there’s a word to describe people who drop 6

dead from overwork,” Kate said. “
Karoshi.
I read about it in the 7

paper.”

8

“Actually,” said Justin, “there are two words. There’s another 9

word — I don’t remember what it is — but it’s for cases of work-10

related
suicide.
As opposed to, well, whatever you call the other 11

kind. Spontaneous. Anyway, there’ve been a bunch of lawsuits, 12

where Japanese families are suing for compensation.”

13

“I wonder how you prove causation,” Kate said dryly.

14

“Got me.”

15

Kate was suddenly aghast at her train of thought. Was this what 16

being a lawyer did to you? Instead of responding as a human being, 17

you thought about how to prove a case?

18

“I don’t really see what the difference is,” she said gloomily.

19

“The difference with what?”

20

“Between
karoshi
and the other one, suicide from overwork. I 21

mean, it boils down to the same thing. What’s the difference be-22

tween forcing yourself to work so hard that you die and shooting 23

yourself in the head? One’s just faster, that’s all.”

24

“Interesting,” said Justin. “So I guess you’d say that all of us 25

S&M minions are engaged in some sort of group self-destruction.

26

We’re in the process of killing ourselves, we’re just not there yet.

27

Just bring on the Kool-Aid.”

28

“Kool-Aid?”

29

“Just a joke. You know. Jonestown. Where they drank the poi-30

soned Kool-Aid.”

31

“Oh. Yeah.” Kate was feeling increasingly depressed. It was as 32

though the room had suddenly grown smaller, darker. She sensed 33

Chuck Thorpe at its edges.

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Justin sighed. “Come on, Kate. Lighten up. Have some more 2

soup.”

3

“Okay.” Obediently, Kate spooned up another mouthful. As she 4

swallowed the warm liquid, her thoughts moved to Madeleine 5

Waters.

6

“Is there any new word on Madeleine?” she asked.

7

“Just a couple of rumors,” Justin said. “The usual paranoid stuff 8

that she was done in by the partnership. Mills or Drescher. Or 9

maybe both of them working together. Along with the Pope, the 10

Trilateral Commission, and the IRS.”

11

Kate tried to laugh, but none of it seemed very funny. Again, the 12

memories pressed in on her. Chuck Thorpe’s hands on her body, 13

his breath on her face. The more she thought about it, the more 14

likely it seemed that Thorpe was Madeleine’s killer. Her mind 15

went back to the events of the past few days. Madeleine’s grip on 16

her shoulder, her urgent words:
You have to be very careful.
Carmen 17

Rodriguez’s fury.
They made her have dinner with him, and God knows
18

what else.
And then Thorpe’s brutal attack. Yes, she’d been very 19

drunk last night, but that didn’t mean that she’d been wrong. She 20

was sober now and could think it through. And the pieces of the 21

puzzle still fit, just as they had last night.

22

Justin didn’t seem to notice her distraction. He’d walked over to 23

the TV and was studying the weekly broadcast schedule.

24

“Wanna watch a stupid movie?”

25

“If you do,” Kate said.

26

Justin flipped on the television and returned to the couch. The 27

movie had already started. Two sisters — one rich, one poor —

28

were fighting over their mother’s estate, but really what they 29

wanted was each other’s love. Giving Justin a sideways glance, 30

Kate felt a surge of gratitude that he was here tonight. He’d always 31

been there when she needed him, and tonight was no exception.

32

The only difference was that tonight he had no idea, no idea at all 33

what she was going through.

ort 34

A commercial flashed on the screen. Justin turned toward Kate.

reg 35

“So what’s up with that guy Douglas you’ve been seeing?” he asked.

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Kate had barely thought of Douglas since their Friday night 1

date. It felt like another lifetime.

2

“I’m hardly seeing him,” Kate said, trying to cut short the ex-3

change. “I’ve just been out with him once.”

4

But Justin persevered, his voice warm. “I’m just really glad to see 5

you moving on. That thing with Michael — he wasn’t worth it 6

then, and he’s certainly not worth it now. It’s important to have 7

someone in your life.”

8

“Can we just not talk about this now?” Kate asked. Still preoc-9

cupied with thoughts of Chuck Thorpe, she was only half focused 10

on what Justin was saying. “Besides, you’re hardly in a position to 11

talk. When was the last time that you had a date?”

12

Justin opened his mouth, as if he was about to speak. But then, 13

looking at Kate, he closed it again. There was something odd in his 14

expression, an emotion that she couldn’t place.

15

“What?” Kate asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

16

Justin shook his head and then laughed, a sheepish, boyish 17

sound. He stood up and walked to the window. Then he turned 18

back toward Kate. “This is ridiculous. I don’t know why I feel un-19

comfortable telling you this. I mean, we’re friends, right?”

20

“Right.” She had a growing sense of trepidation.

21

“Well, the thing is . . .” Justin was briefly tongue-tied. Then he 22

blurted it out. “I’ve started going out with someone. A woman, I 23

mean.” He ran a hand across his forehead and smiled, the familiar 24

slightly lopsided grin that she knew so well. “Whew. I guess that 25

wasn’t so hard.”

26

Kate’s lips returned Justin’s smile, but her face felt frozen in 27

place. She felt disoriented, unable to situate herself in time and 28

space. Almost as if she were drowning. Still, she managed to keep 29

up the smile.

30

“So don’t keep me in suspense. Who is she?” Kate’s voice was 31

unnaturally bright. Like Lucy Ricardo trying to keep something se-32

cret from husband Ricky.

33

“Well, not surprisingly, she’s a lawyer,” Justin began. “Since I’d 34 sh

have little chance of meeting anyone else.” He took a deep breath.

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“Her name’s Laura Lacy. She works at Wilmot Dickerson. I met her 2

last month when we did a joint document review with them. You’d 3

like her, Kate. She went to Penn. Does a lot of pro bono work.”

4

Now that the shock had begun to ebb, Kate was more confused 5

than upset. Her reaction didn’t make any sense. After all, Justin 6

wasn’t her boyfriend. He had every right to date anyone he 7

wanted.

8

“That’s wonderful,” Kate said, trying to bring a warmth to her 9

voice that she was far from feeling. “So, how long has this romance 10

been going on?”

11

“Oh, not long,” Justin said quickly.

12

Something in his voice made Kate want to know more. “So how 13

long is that?”

14

Justin sat down on the couch, crossing one long leg over the 15

other. “Oh, a few weeks, I guess. Maybe about a month.”

16

A month.
Kate felt as if she’d been slapped. She’d always as-17

sumed that Justin confided in her about the important things in his 18

life. Before she could stop herself, the words were out. “Why didn’t 19

you tell me?”

20

“I
am
telling you, Kate. I’m telling you right now.” Justin 21

sounded awkward, as if he wasn’t sure what to say.

22

Kate slumped down against Justin’s side, her head turned away 23

so he wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. She tried to sort through 24

her thoughts. Was she jealous? She tried the thought on for size, 25

then dismissed it. She didn’t want Justin for a lover; she wanted 26

him for a friend.

27

“Kate?” Justin’s voice was soft. Kate shrank lower on the couch, 28

keeping her head turned away. Maybe this wasn’t about Justin at 29