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Authors: Amy Gutman

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a working lunch. I’m taking a tray downstairs. But how about 16

drinks after work?”

17

Kate brightened. “Perfect. I’m supposed to have dinner with Tara, 18

so I’ll meet you afterward. Say, nine-thirty at the Harvard Club?”

19

They finished making arrangements, and then Justin headed off 20

toward the cafeteria line. Kate felt her spirits lift. If anyone could 21

figure out what was up with Madeleine Waters, Justin could. He 22

seemed to have a sort of sixth sense about what lay beneath Sam-23

son’s surface, about the current pecking order among the firm’s 24

partners and the reasons for these distinctions. How he had accu-25

mulated this knowledge in the one year that they had both worked 26

at the firm, Kate had no idea. But it definitely came in handy.

27

Andrea’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “He’s yummy,” she 28

said. “I still think you should think about changing the terms of 29

your relationship.”

30

“Changing the terms,” Kate scoffed. “You make it sound like a 31

contract.”

32

“Seriously, Kate. Don’t wait too long. Guys like Justin don’t 33

come along every day.”

34 sh

35 re

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3 6

A M Y G U T M A N

1

“Look, Justin and I are friends. And it’s going to stay that way.

2

I’d never risk screwing up our friendship. You know how it is.

3

When sex gets involved, all bets are off.”

4

“I don’t know, Kate. Brent and I started out as friends, and now 5

we’re married. Very happily married, I might add. Some risks really 6

are worth taking.”

7

Kate shook her head. “It’s different for you,” she said. “If things 8

hadn’t worked out with Brent, you still would have had your fam-9

ily. Something to fall back on. But for me . . . I guess Justin’s about 10

the closest thing to family I have. You know the story. He practi-11

cally saved my life after Michael and I split up. He even signed me 12

up for job interviews when I just wanted to stay home in bed with 13

the shades down. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t even have
inter-14

viewed
at Samson let alone come to work here.”

15

“Like I was saying. Sounds like he’d make a great husband.”

16

Kate rolled her eyes. “No wonder you became a litigator,” she 17

said. “You’re relentless. Can we please just change the subject?”

18

“Okay, okay,” Andrea said. She was playing with the remnants 19

of her pan-Asian salad, building a little rice pyramid with her fork.

20

“So how are things going with Josie?”

21

Kate gave a short laugh. One more thing to worry about. She 22

briefly wondered what she’d been thinking when she agreed to 23

take on this sixteen-year-old girl as part of Samson’s pro bono ef-24

fort. At the time, the idea of serving as a high school mentor had 25

sounded like fun, and she’d liked the idea of giving back. She’d 26

even hoped she might
make a difference.
But two months later, dis-27

illusion was setting in.

28

“I’m not sure what to do,” Kate confessed. “We had a meeting 29

scheduled right before I left on vacation, but Josie didn’t show up 30

at all. The week before that, she was half an hour late. I had this 31

idea that we’d be talking about books —
To Kill a Mockingbird,
32

Catcher in the Rye —
that sort of thing. I was looking forward to be-33

ing a teacher. Instead I’m turning into a drill sergeant. Be on time.

ort 34

Do your work. Don’t get me wrong — she’s a terrific kid. She’s reg 35

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E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H

3 7

smart, energetic, full of ideas. But she can’t seem to focus. I can’t 1

seem to get through to her.”

2

“That’s par for the course,” said Andrea. “I had the same experi-3

ence with Vicky when I started to work with her. Just keep pound-4

ing away at the ground rules. Eventually, it’ll sink in.”

5

“I hope so.” Kate glanced at her watch. “Damn, it’s nearly one. I 6

need to get back to work. Ready?”

7

As they carried their trays toward the kitchen conveyor belt, 8

Kate’s thoughts moved back to that morning. “So you really don’t 9

think I should worry? About what Madeleine said?”

10

“Worry? No way. You’ll straighten it out the next time you see 11

her. Just ask her to explain what she meant.”

12

“You’re right,” said Kate. “That’s exactly what I’ll do.”

13

w

14

He stood outside the windows, watching. A little past seven, and 15

already the restaurant teemed with people. Set flat in the middle of 16

a run-down industrial zone, Ormond still pulled in a random as-17

sortment of black-clad artist types — few actual artists could afford 18

the price of a meal — and Wall Street apparatchiks who liked to 19

let their hair down at the end of the day. Ormond, he mused, 20

catered to a bourgeoisie in denial, to wealthy patrons with a yearn-21

ing to be rich
and
hip; to live on the edge without giving up the 22

status and perquisites of wealth.

23

It was cold, with temperatures hovering close to zero, but he 24

barely noticed the chill. A thin crust of ice slicked the sidewalk.

25

Carefully picking his way, he moved in for a closer look. His re-26

flection wavered in the plate-glass expanse. Then, he forced his 27

gaze back, beyond.

28

She was already there, seated at a back corner table. That was 29

bound to make things more difficult. Still. He’d come prepared.

30

The challenge only fueled his excitement. Since making the reser-31

vation, his emotions had alternated between elation and fear. Now 32

that the time had come, he found himself trying to prolong it. It 33

was tempting to extend the moment. To continue to wait and 34 sh

35 re

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3 8

A M Y G U T M A N

1

watch. To watch her grow restless. To watch as she glanced once 2

again at the gold Cartier watch on her wrist.

3

Like a connoisseur, he savored the possibilities.

4

But it was time to move on.

5

As he stepped through the restaurant’s glass doors, he felt a burst 6

of warm air. He was greeted by the hum of conversation, the tinkle 7

of cutlery on plates. Pushing forward through the human throng, 8

he got within earshot of the pony-tailed maître d’. Translucent 9

bored face. Vacant gaze. Probably thinking about where he’d like 10

to be tonight if it weren’t for this frigging job. From where he 11

stood, he could hear the maître d’ murmuring to a petulant couple 12

in line. “The very next table, madam. Would you like to have a 13

drink at the bar?” No she would
not
like, what she wanted right 14

now was a table. The caustic tones drifted in his direction until, 15

having no choice, the woman and her date moved to the crowded 16

bar. He’d counted on this level of quiet chaos and disarray.

17

Now came the delicate part.

18

Quickly, he edged past the podium. Perfect. The maître d’ would 19

never remember him. Hadn’t seemed to notice him at all. Slowly, 20

deliberately, he made his way toward her table, an animal stalking 21

its prey. He was seven or eight minutes late. Not enough to prompt 22

suspicions. But it was definitely time to begin.

23

“Why, hello there, Madeleine,” he said.

24

w

25

“So, try the tempura. Fried vegetables, shrimp, tofu — even you 26

can’t complain about that. What’s not to like?”

27

“Tofu. Yuck.” Kate wrinkled her nose and continued to scan the 28

menu.

29

“Well, what about the soy eggplant Parmesan? It really
does
taste 30

like cheese.”

31

Kate sighed. Her college roommate had always shown a suspect 32

yen for healthful food — green salad and hold the dressing — but 33

lately things were getting out of hand. If she hadn’t been so frazzled ort 34

at work, Kate would have vetoed this choice, the latest in the reg 35

seemingly endless array of fluorescent-lit nonfat nondairy restau-9858_01_003-152_r5hb.qxd 9/28/00 3:57 PM Page 39

E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H

3 9

rants that Tara patronized these days. Kate wondered privately 1

how any of them stayed in business. Tara’s strange affinity for soy 2

products and bitter greens could not be so widely shared.

3

“Okay,” Kate mumbled, trying not to sound sulky. After all, she 4

hadn’t seen Tara in weeks. She could at least try to be polite. “The 5

cabbage salad with carrot dressing and the, uh, shrimp tempura.

6

No tofu, though.”

7

“No tofu?” The waiter raised a pierced eyebrow. Kate could see 8

that he’d sized her up for what she was: a meat eater who wouldn’t 9

recognize a vegan dumpling if it bit her.

10

“I’ll take her tofu,” Tara volunteered.

11

The waiter looked grateful. “And what would
you
like?” He 12

turned to Tara, seemingly relieved to be done with Kate.

13

“I’ll have the tempeh primavera, and the seaweed salad to start,”

14

Tara said.

15

“Cool.” He headed toward the tiny open kitchen at the back of 16

the cramped dining space. It was early, a little after six. Kate and 17

Tara had the place almost to themselves.

18

Settling back in her seat, smoothing her tailored skirt, Kate was 19

struck by how odd they must look together. She in her fitted suit 20

and lawyerly horn-rimmed glasses, Tara in full bohemian regalia.

21

Tonight, Tara was wearing a long batik skirt with a baggy moth-22

eaten sweater. Her red curls were lassoed back with a velvet band, 23

while stray tendrils fell over her forehead and cheeks. Silver ear-24

rings hung just above her shoulders. It was hard to imagine that she 25

and Tara had once traded clothing so often they’d sometimes lost 26

track of an item’s owner. College seemed very long ago.

27

“What’s with the Woodstock refugee look?” Kate asked wryly.

28

“What’s with the corporate clone look?”

29

Kate laughed. “Touché.”

30

“If I showed up for an assignment dressed like you, people would 31

fear for my sanity,” Tara said. An aspiring novelist, Tara had spent 32

two years in a low-level publishing job before opting for the free-33

lance life. She wrote for a baffling array of women’s magazines 34 sh

on subjects ranging from fake eyelashes to sexual politics. Kate of-35 re

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A M Y G U T M A N

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ten stumbled on Tara’s bylines while waiting to have her nails 2

done.

3

“Seitan.” Kate mused. “I always forget what that is.”

4

Tara raised her eyebrows. “You just want me to describe it so you 5

can tell me how repulsive it sounds. And really, it’s delicious. Not 6

to mention being packed with protein.”

7

“Anything that looks and tastes that disgusting better be packed 8

with something to justify its existence as a food product.”

9

“How do you know how it looks and tastes if you don’t even re-10

member what it is?”

11

“Deductive logic. Based on my extensive observation of your 12

dietary habits.”

13

“Very funny.”

14

Kate grinned. The familiar banter was a perfect antidote to the 15

tensions of the past two days.

16

“I’ve missed you, Tara.”

17

“Well, it’s been a long time. You left town before Christmas, and 18

I hadn’t seen you for weeks before that. Not that I’m counting.”

19

“It’s not exactly like I have a choice, you know,” Kate said. She 20

felt a twinge of annoyance. Why did Tara always have to start in on 21

her schedule? “That’s just how Samson is. It’s the same for everyone.”

22

Tara was about to respond when the waiter appeared with their 23

meals. As he set down the steaming plates, Kate noted with satis-24

faction that her meal bore a marked resemblance to genuine edible 25

food. Tara, on the other hand, had her usual brown mess of indeci-26

pherable lumps and strips.

27

“Mine looks good,” Kate said. “I won’t say what yours looks 28

like.”

29

Tara beamed. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”

30

They ate for several minutes in companionable silence. Con-31

versation from a nearby table filtered past.

32

“My sister’s, like, very linear about time?” The speaker’s voice 33

was softly indignant, her assertions concluding with a slight up-ort 34

swing. “It’s like, really important to her that you’re on time? She’s reg 35

like —
I’m on time, you should be on time.

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