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Authors: Amy Gutman

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pistol, firmly lodged against her side. Stars glimmered above them 24

in a frosty sky. Their footsteps crunched through a shell of ice.

25

Through the weight of her cashmere coat, he felt Madeleine stiffen 26

at his touch. Streetlights sent off a dusty glow. The area shops were 27

dark. Rounding the corner, he saw the rental car parked at the end 28

of the block. A few more yards, and he was unlocking the door, 29

roughly shoving Madeleine inside.

30

And then, just as he’d planned, there were no witnesses when 31

he firmly pressed a chloroform-soaked cloth over the beautiful, 32

startled face.

33

w

ort 34

It was with a sense of relief that Kate quickly hugged Tara good-reg 35

bye before hailing a cab and heading uptown. She was glad to have 9858_01_003-152_r5hb.qxd 9/28/00 3:57 PM Page 47

E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H

4 7

the excuse of her Harvard Club date with Justin to short-circuit 1

the discussion of her personal life. After giving the driver direc-2

tions — 27 West 44th between Fifth and Sixth — Kate leaned her 3

head back against the seat and closed her eyes as the cab rocketed 4

through the night, zipping in and out of traffic lanes like a ball in a 5

pinball game.

6

As the cab careened uptown, Kate let her mind wander back to 7

her meal with Tara. Now that she was free from her friend’s prob-8

ing questions, she felt a little guilty. She’d call Tara first thing to-9

morrow, apologize for being a jerk.

10

“Miss?”

11

The cab had come to a stop next to the club’s crimson canopy.

12

Kate fumbled in her purse for the fare and then scrambled onto the 13

sidewalk. It had started to rain, an icy drizzle. Kate hurried through 14

the door.

15

Once inside, Kate could feel herself relax. She smiled at the 16

doorman before heading straight for the crackling fire, where she 17

held out her hands to warm them.

18

Kate knew that her fondness for the Harvard Club was slightly 19

perverse. With its fusty Old World demeanor, the club was almost 20

a parody of itself. But that was part of what she liked about it: the 21

pervasive if unconscious self-irony. Trophy animals gazed down 22

from the walls, remnants of big-game hunts. Kate had a particular 23

fondness for the green-tinged elephant, with its enormous ex-24

tended trunk. (“Looks just like the elephant king Cornelius did af-25

ter he ate the poisoned mushrooms,” Kate had once observed, 26

referring to a picture in the Babar book she’d loved as a child.) 27

Some months back, one of the ancient specimens had crashed to 28

the floor — the head of a wild boar or something equally prepos-29

terous. Kate had almost wished that someone had been hit if only 30

to see what the tabloids did with the story. She’d come up with a 31

few headlines herself:
Dead Head Strikes Talking Head. Head of the
32

Beast Kills Head of the Class. Taxidermy Kills Tax Attorney.
The pos-33

sibilities were endless.

34 sh

Kate glanced at her watch. Almost nine-thirty. She was right on 35 re

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A M Y G U T M A N

1

time. Pulling off her coat, Kate sank into a chair to wait for Justin’s 2

arrival. Her eyes wandered around the room. The club was a sea of 3

crimson — crimson carpets and crimson walls — punctuated by 4

portraits of old white men. Lately, there’d been some progress on 5

the gender front, with money raised to bring in more pictures of 6

women. Until the recent push, there’d been only two, the black 7

contralto Marian Anderson — might as well get two minorities for 8

the price of one — and Helen Keller — a role model, to be sure, 9

but was it mere coincidence that the club had selected a female 10

icon who was blind, deaf, and mute?

11

Kate was skimming the headlines of the
Wall Street Journal
when 12

Justin bounded into sight.

13

“Am I late?” he said, sounding slightly out of breath. “I got tied 14

up with some last-minute document work.”

15

“Just on time,” Kate assured him. “I was on the early side.” She 16

felt a glow of pleasure in his company. Justin wasn’t just a close 17

friend; he was also a touchstone, a reminder of how far she’d come.

18

Again, she thought about that last year of school. It had been Justin 19

who pulled her through. Not only had he given her a shoulder to 20

cry on; he’d also offered advice. “Don’t let a guy — any guy —

21

screw up your life,” he’d said. “Make this work
for
you. After you 22

spend a couple of years at Samson & Mills, you’ll be able to write 23

your own ticket. You may not think that matters now, but you will 24

later. Besides, what have you got to lose?” And he’d been right.

25

As Justin leaned down to kiss her on the cheek, Kate felt her 26

face grow warm.
Sounds like he’d make a great husband.
Andrea’s 27

lunchtime pronouncement. Luckily, Justin didn’t notice.

28

“Shall we dump our coats?” He was already heading toward the 29

cloakroom.

30

“Sure.” Following Justin down a narrow corridor, Kate saw that 31

his hair was damp. He must have stopped by the gym. Crazy as 32

things got at Samson, Justin never seemed to miss a day. Some-33

thing she couldn’t say for herself. Kate tried to remember the last ort 34

time she’d taken advantage of her firm-subsidized membership in reg 35

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E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H

4 9

the Mercury Athletic Club. Mercury was one of the city’s pricier 1

and more exclusive gyms. It was ridiculous not to avail herself of 2

this perk. She’d definitely make it over this week.
Really.

3

The Grill Room was a sea of overstuffed leather sofas, chairs, 4

and tables populated by the usual mix of old and young Harvard 5

types. A table of four elderly men in suits, white-haired and distin-6

guished, huddled over a vigorous game of backgammon with the 7

same high seriousness that they must have once accorded their 8

business deals. Several professional couples dined à deux. A cluster 9

of twenty-something guys with slicked-back hair were trading 10

jokes over drinks. They reminded Kate of puppies, high-spirited 11

and not quite housebroken. The mood was quiet and restrained, 12

with the club’s strictly enforced “Gentlemen’s Rules” barring any 13

display of cash or business papers. Payment was discreetly effected 14

by way of a member’s signature.

15

“How about over there?” Kate gestured to a corner table to the 16

right of the entrance. She wanted to be assured of privacy.

17

After settling in at their table and ordering drinks — white 18

wine for Kate, vodka and tonic for Justin — Justin turned to Kate.

19

“So how was the cruise?” he asked.

20

“Terrific,” said Kate. “Great.” It wasn’t quite the truth. While 21

the weather had been beautiful, balmy and hot, she’d counted the 22

hours till her return. What was so great about having time on your 23

hands? Better to be busy and productive.

24

“You were by yourself?”

25

“I wouldn’t put it that way.” Kate could tell she sounded defen-26

sive, the residue from her dinner with Tara. “There were ten of us 27

on the boat. I shared a cabin with another woman. A French trans-28

lator. I had plenty of company.”

29

She quickly changed the subject. “So how about you? How were 30

the holidays?”

31

Justin rolled his eyes. “The usual pandemonium at home. But 32

good. Delia’s already planning for college, can you believe it? Only 33

thirteen and she’s got her heart set on Brown.”

34 sh

35 re

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A M Y G U T M A N

1

“I love your family.” Kate had met Justin’s parents and younger 2

sister the week of their law school graduation. Justin’s father was a 3

history professor; his mother, a child psychologist. Kate, who had 4

toyed with the idea of majoring in psych before settling on English 5

lit, was fascinated by Sarah Daniels’s stories about the children she 6

counseled in southeast Washington D.C. “What’s your mom up to 7

these days?”

8

“Busy as usual. She just finished this book about adoption she’s 9

been writing for about a hundred years. So she’s a little burned out.

10

But happy.”

11

“That’s so cool. When will it be out?”

12

“Hmm, let’s see. We’re talking about an academic press here.

13

Probably in about 2010.”

14

Kate laughed. “You know, I really admire your mother. But I’d 15

never have the patience for that sort of thing. What I like about 16

law is, you write a brief and then, boom, you either win or lose. I 17

mean it’s not immediate, but you don’t have to wait forever.”

18

“Ah yes,” Justin mused. “Yet another reason to love the law.”

19

“Speaking of the law, what happened at S&M while I was 20

gone?”

21

“It’s been pretty slow. I’ve been more or less full time on the 22

Haber-Tech antitrust case. The document production has been a 23

nightmare. Last week I came in on Monday morning and didn’t 24

leave until eight o’clock Wednesday night. It got to be sort of sur-25

real. The sun goes up. The sun goes down. The sun goes up. The 26

sun goes down. The only sleep I got was a half hour Tuesday night, 27

hidden under my desk. It’s the only way to get those goddamn 28

lights to go out. The least little flutter of detectible movement, and 29

on they go.”

30

Kate laughed. “You want to hear something funny?” she said.

31

“When I first started work at Samson, I assumed that the lights 32

went on when you entered your office because the lighting mecha-33

nism somehow sensed the weight of your body on the floor.”

ort 34

Justin hooted. “Now let me get this straight. The floors were pre-reg 35

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E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H

5 1

cisely calibrated to reflect the weight of all the furniture, books, and 1

other stuff in the office and could somehow
figure out
just when a 2

certain hundred-and-ten-pound associate crossed the threshold?”

3

“I didn’t exactly
think it through,
” Kate said. “Anyway, sorry 4

you’ve been stuck at work so much.”

5

Justin shrugged, his shoulders moving easily beneath his dark 6

suit jacket. “Hey, I’ve got no complaints. You want to work at a top 7

firm, you’ve got to put in the hours.”

8

He sipped his vodka and tonic. “So what’s new with the Thorpe 9

case?”

10

“I’m just putting together a research memo,” Kate said. “Sexual 11

harassment law is still so murky. You’ve got to be really careful.

12

Cases decided last year are totally out of date. There is one thing I 13

wanted to ask you, though —”

14

“Hold that thought,” Justin said. “I’ve got to get something to 15

eat.” He gestured to the adjacent bar where a snack table was al-16

ways set up. “Want something? Some chips?”

17

“No thanks,” Kate said. “I’m still full from dinner.”

18

“Back in a second.”

19

Kate watched Justin cross the room. She had to admit that An-20

drea had a point. Guys like Justin
didn’t
come along every day. And 21

beyond that, she’d be hard-pressed to find someone more compat-22

ible. They shared the same values, liked the same books and 23

movies, laughed at the same jokes. They also shared a history, not 24

just the law school years but Samson & Mills as well. Still, she’d 25

meant what she said at lunch. Justin was almost like a brother, the 26

brother she’d never had. He’d seen her at her worst, red-eyed and 27

tearful, lethargic and morose. He’d brought her food and maga-28

zines when she didn’t want to leave her apartment and listened to 29

her endless disquisitions on Michael’s betrayal. Even if she
were
in 30

the market for a boyfriend, she just couldn’t picture Justin in that 31

role. Didn’t romance require an element of mystery?

32

And then Justin was back, balancing a plate heaped with chips, 33

pretzels, and other snacks.

34 sh

35 re

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A M Y G U T M A N

1

“Are you really going to eat all that?” Kate asked.

2

“No time for dinner,” Justin said. He picked up a Ritz cracker, 3

piled high with processed cheese spread, and stared at it apprais-4

ingly. “I really don’t get the food here. Some of the other school 5

clubs have really good spreads — fruit, water biscuits, Brie. This 6

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