Eternal Craving (16 page)

And in the second before Fin threw open his door, Al dragged his thoughts from their lovemaking long enough to wonder why they were meeting in Fin’s room instead of his office. No one got into Fin’s room.

As Fin swung the door wide, Al’s immediate impression was that for the first time in his memory, the godlike Fin looked almost human. His jeans hung low on his hips, and he wore a sleeveless T-shirt that had seen better days. And the cold calmness of his eyes didn’t look so remote in the early hours of the morning.

Fin didn’t say anything, just waved them in. If Al had been expecting lots of expensive things to go along with Fin’s status as leader of the Eleven, he was in for a disappointment. The setup looked the same as Al’s room, but there wasn’t one thing there that spoke of Fin’s personality. It was a blank slate. Somehow Al had thought that Fin would have tried to power the place up with a few pictures or something. Nothing.

“Have a seat.” Fin had his fireplace lit, and he took a seat in the chair nearest the crackling flames.

If Al was the imaginative kind, he’d find something demonic in the way the shadows played across Fin’s face with the fire in the background. But he had his feet firmly on the ground.

Jenna sat on the couch, and Al defiantly dropped down beside her. His possessiveness didn’t seem to bother her.

“This is an odd time to call us in to see you.” Jenna glanced around. “And why not your office?”

Al knew as soon as he saw the sly lift of Fin’s lips that Jenna had asked the wrong question. But then, she wasn’t used to Fin-the-control-freak.

“You were awake. I was awake. So why not meet? And one place is as good as another. Did I interrupt anything?”

The lift of Fin’s brows was so patently fake that Al wanted to…Al frowned. Why hadn’t he ever had thoughts of violence toward Fin before rising to this time? One of those unpredictable memories tried to surface, a memory of Fin’s face and his own helplessness. He didn’t even try to hold on to the memory, because he knew the pain and the fog were coming. Al wasn’t disappointed. But one day he’d push back that fog and see things the way they’d really been.

What the hell was he thinking? It’d been a long day and his brain was way past due for some down time.

“Yes, you did interrupt
something.
”

Jenna was matching Fin sarcastic comment for sarcastic comment. Al felt pride in her, and that too was an unfamiliar emotion. Human feelings were dangerous. They distracted him from the important things, like survival.

“What’s up?” He was too tired to play Fin’s games.

“Jude called. He’s received a challenge for his leadership of the states ruled by Katherine. He wants you there, Al.”

Al nodded. He didn’t know why the vampire needed him, but the Eleven owed Jude for favors rendered.

“He also wants Jenna to be there.”

“No.” The word was out of Al’s mouth before Jenna could react.

“Why does he want me?” Jenna was a little less emotional in her reaction.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re not going with me.” Al was certain of that. “For God’s sake, haven’t your recent vampire experiences been enough to convince you to stay home?”

She turned a cool gaze on him. “I don’t like other people making my decisions for me.”

Angry, he turned his frustration on Fin. “Why does she need to be there?”

Fin looked really interested in both their reactions. “I don’t know. Jude said he didn’t have time to explain.” He shrugged. “Jenna will be safe. I think you and Jude can manage to protect her. Just to make sure, I’ll have Utah and Tor wait outside in case you need backup.”

“Are you crazy?” Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have worded it quite like that. “Utah and Tor are torn up from losing Rap. They’ll look for any excuse to wipe out every vampire they see. Who’s going to control them?”

“I will. They’ll only kill if I say so.”

Fin’s eyes didn’t even flicker, but Al got the feeling he’d enjoy the killing. Al could never figure Fin out. The rest of the Eleven loved violence. It was as strong a drive as sex and hunger. They had to constantly keep their souls submerged to function as humans.

But Fin wasn’t like the rest of them. He was cold, calculating, and used violence like an ice pick. If he needed it to get the job done, so be it. But if he could get the same result from just letting the ice melt, he’d choose the melting.

If Al wasn’t so pissed, he’d be intrigued. Was the great Fin actually experiencing an emotion like the rest of them? “I still don’t want her there.”

“
Her
is sitting right here. And
she
chooses to go.”

Al didn’t know what was driving Jenna to do something she couldn’t possibly be looking forward to, but someone had to save her from herself. “Give me one good reason why you need to be there.”

“Because I don’t
want
to be there.” She raked her fingers through that beautiful dark hair that was all tousled and tempting.

Al quickly jerked his mind from that particular precipice. Sex wasn’t on the agenda right now. His first instinct was to react sarcastically to her statement. But one look at her face stopped him. She was dead serious about this. “Explain.”

Jenna sighed and seemed to sink farther into her chair. “I’ve tried a lot of things that I wasn’t good at.” She shrugged. “But that’s okay, because they didn’t matter.”

Was Al imagining it, or did her they-didn’t-matter comment ring false? He blinked. Was some of his humanity asserting itself? Because his soul would take her at face value and not care if she was lying.

“But I
am
good at writing articles about the weird and wacky. Not that I’m going back to my room to start writing about what I’ve seen and heard—although I’m keeping my options open for the future—but I take pride in going where the story is.” She dropped her gaze from his.

Al saw where this was headed and tried to cut her off. “This is different. You can’t expect to—”

“Yes, I can.” She met his gaze directly. “I can expect to face each story directly and not let my emotions get in the way. She swallowed hard, and Al felt her reluctance to reveal anything further.

“Every time I’ve faced the reality of the battle you guys are fighting, I’ve become a useless pile of frightened crap. I ran from Jude and you in the park, all I did was throw up while Rap was being killed, and I was so scared at the church that I just stood staring instead of helping.” She was in full disclosure mode now. “I
hated
that you had to stand and watch with me because you knew I couldn’t take care of myself.” Her expression was filled with self-loathing. “But that ends as of now. I’m going tomorrow, and someday I’ll write about it. And it won’t be a secondhand report.”

“We have something in common.” Fin sounded as if his thoughts were elsewhere. “We both feel that if we can just be perfect enough, we can control everything around us.” Humor crept into his voice. “That’s not true, you know. And there are just so many times in life that we can walk away from a situation we can’t control and convince ourselves we didn’t care anyway.” An underlying bitterness said Fin didn’t think any of this was funny at all.

Al had never thought about what Fin felt. He’d never wondered what Fin had left behind in the place he’d come from. He’d never even thought about Fin coming from anywhere. Fin just…was. Al blamed the fog for his lack of curiosity about Fin. He turned his head to find Fin staring at him. Al turned his attention back to Jenna.

Jenna didn’t even try to hide her discomfort with what Fin had said. She stood and was already headed toward the door as she spoke. “I’m tired. I’ll see you guys in the afternoon.” But she paused before leaving. “Oh, and I have a question for you, Fin. You’re supposed to have saved everyone from extinction sixty-five million years ago. But the Allosaurus went extinct one hundred forty-five million years ago. It must’ve been tough saving a soul that was already gone.” Then she left.

And left her bombshell sitting between them. Al didn’t wait for the fog to envelop him. “What’s that mean, Fin?”

Fin leaned his head back against the chair and closed his eyes. “It means that I manipulated the truth.”

One thing Al had to hand to Fin was that he used the hard words. “Manipulate” was about as negative as you could get. He could’ve found a word that wouldn’t sound so damning.

“No kidding.” Al could feel the familiar fury churning in him. “Aren’t you going to make me forget everything now? That’s how things work, isn’t it?”

“Maybe I’m tired of keeping up with all the questions. As Jenna said, maybe it doesn’t matter. So what do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

“Everything would take a long time to explain. Guess I’ll just tell you about the time difference.” Opening his eyes, Fin speared Al with a gaze that was more purple than silver right now.

Al remembered Fin’s eyes had been the same color when Rap died.

“When your souls became beast, I had to spread you out over different time periods so you’d be harder to find.”

“I guess it wouldn’t do any good to ask why anyone would want to find us? I mean, we weren’t a threat to these immortals.” A thought hit him. “Or were we? None of us know what we were before the dinosaurs.”

“Right. It wouldn’t do any good to ask.”

Al’s rage was close to the surface now. “You never mentioned that you could move through time.”

“It never came up.” Fin sounded like his patience was wearing thin.

“That’s why I could never remember seeing Spin or Ty. They didn’t exist in my time. So when you took me, you weren’t saving me from extinction. You could’ve left me to live out my life.”

Fin ignored his outburst. “All time exists at once. I took you when I needed to take you.”

“Why put us in the ground for all those years when you could’ve just zapped us from our time to this time?”

Fin’s laughter lacked a lot in the humor department. “You give me credit for a lot more power than I have. I was burned out. I couldn’t zap you anywhere. I needed lots of downtime to power up my batteries again for this fight. Without the rest, I never would’ve been able to put your souls into new bodies.”

Al could only focus on one thing. “Could you send me back to my time as I was then? Could you do that now?”

“Do you want it? Knowing what you know about the future here? Could you go back to being what you were?”

Al had already opened his mouth to say yes after Fin’s first question when the second question struck him. Al closed his mouth. He’d never had one doubt about what he wanted. He didn’t like the twenty-first century, didn’t like having to ride herd over his soul, didn’t like always feeling closed in. And
alone
. He missed his pack.

But going back meant never seeing Jenna again. It meant leaving humans to their fate when he had the power to do something about it. For the first time he considered the option of accepting the rest of the Eleven as his new pack. Why? Because he couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing Jenna again. Stupid. He’d bet she’d be just fine with never seeing him again.

“Well? Do you want to go back?”

In that moment, Al had the feeling he’d reached a tipping point. It was the moment when he decided he wanted to stay. “I guess not.”

Fin grinned. “Good, because I couldn’t expend the energy to send you back.”

Al rose to leave. He considered going back to Jenna’s room but decided she needed some time away from him. He asked one more question before leaving. “What about this Seir that Balan said was watching you from the park?”

Fin’s expression hardened, and his eyes turned glacial. “I don’t talk about Seir. Ever.”

Which meant that Al would find out everything he could about the guy. Anyone who could put that expression on Fin’s face was worth investigating.

“Where did Fin get the bodies for you guys?” Jenna knew everyone was fed up with her questions, but while she’d lain in bed last night trying to make sense of everything, she’d come to a conclusion.

She wasn’t staying just to protect her sister. Lord knows she wasn’t much protection for anyone. Kelly had made her choice to involve herself in this battle, and Jenna couldn’t change that. Jenna was staying for herself. For the first time, she was accepting her lifetime of avoidance for what it was. She was admitting that perfectionism combined with competitiveness created a person who not only had to be better than everyone around her but also could never make mistakes. Well, her whole attitude sucked. So, she’d stay here and probably make all kinds of mistakes. But as of right now, she was going to start doing her job. And asking questions was part of her job.

“Fin says he searched for bodies that had just lost their souls, and he stuffed our souls into the empty shells. Then he tweaked our features. He says he did the tweaking to make us better, but I think it was so no grieving relatives would ever run across us on the street and think they were seeing ghosts.”

“So he only took dead bodies?”

“That’s what he said.” Al never took his attention from the road. He drove with the same intensity he brought to his lovemaking.

“He didn’t get impatient and kick out a few souls so he could claim the bodies?”

“He might’ve. Fin keeps his eye on the big picture. He doesn’t sweat the small stuff.”

“So you’re saying he’s ruthless enough to kill an innocent to achieve his goal?” Jenna was pushing it, but she wanted an honest opinion.

“Yeah, I think he would.” But Al’s expression said he was conflicted about that answer.

Jenna would have asked the silent Utah and Tor the same question, but she was too scared of them in their present mood. Neither had said a word since they’d climbed into the backseat of the car. Ravaged by grief, both their faces were carved with their determination to kill and kill some more. Maybe that was the only way their souls knew how to work through their loss.

So instead of trying to make more conversation, she forced herself to take out her final reason for staying and examine it from all angles. That wasn’t too hard since the reason was sitting right next to her.

She was staying for Al. That wasn’t as selfless as it sounded. Because Al was giving her something. And, no, it wasn’t an orgasm that would kill her with its pure intensity of pleasure. Okay, so that was part of it. But there was something about the way he looked at her, spoke to her, made her feel, that hinted of things to come. Maybe bad, maybe good. But she wanted to stick around to find out.

When they pulled into the parking lot of a club that was tucked into a courtyard off the main street, Jenna glanced around. Dark, dark, and more dark. She could see a light on in the club, but the buildings surrounding it looked empty. “Sexy Bites? This is it?”

He shrugged. “This is where the GPS took us, so I guess this is it. Jude owns a vampire club in Houston, so maybe these kinds of places are everywhere.”

Jenna had lots of questions to ask about that but decided to hold them for now.

Al twisted to look at Utah and Tor. “One of you watch the front, the other the back. Don’t come in unless there’s trouble.”

Utah bared his teeth. “We should kill them all.”

“Look, I know how you feel—”

Utah interrupted. “No, you don’t have a clue how we feel.”

Jenna felt Al’s surge of anger as cold terror, her instinctive reaction to a threat from an ancient predator. Did other humans pick up the same emotion from him? And why did she feel it so intensely,
physically
?

“Don’t give me that crap. When Fin took my soul he left my pack behind. At least he kept you with your brothers. So don’t tell me I don’t understand.” Al pushed open the door and climbed out without giving Utah and Tor another glance.

Jenna got out before Al could charge off without her. Even so, she had to run to keep up. Damn Fin for insisting she dress up for this visit. Sure her heels and black dress looked sexy. But when she ran, the heels made her wobble and her oh-so-tight dress rode up her thighs. Sexy didn’t help when you were fleeing a mob of enraged vampires.

Al stood at the entrance waiting for her. “Jude told Fin they were keeping the club closed to night. I don’t know anything else about what’s going to happen here. Jude will fill us in. Spin put on an impressive show last night, so hopefully they’ll treat us like honored guests.”

She could’ve told him that
he
was the only thing that could make her feel safe in this place. But now wasn’t the time. Jenna walked beside him into the club and tried to look coolly elegant.

Al didn’t have to put any effort into how he looked. His black pullover sweater, jeans, and long leather coat would take him into the dark alleys of Philly as easily as a trendy club.

Of course, Jenna didn’t know if this place was trendy or not. She didn’t hit the clubs much in Houston. The décor seemed to be dark and intimate. Polished mahogany plus dim lighting gave the impression you could meet anyone here, and probably would.

The vampire at the door was huge, hulking, and looked like he chewed up steel girders to exercise his gums. But he must have expected them because he waved them through. And judging by the flaring of his eyes, he recognized Al from last night. That could be a good or a bad thing depending on how to night turned out.

Jude waited for them just past Cerberus. Jenna tried to take a closer look at the inside of the club, but she still got the impression of dark and rich. No Goths welcome here. It was very big, and the ceiling in the center was very high. Jude would have demanded a spacious locale so that in a worst-case scenario Al’s massive body would fit. Stairs led up to a balcony that circled the room where customers could sit quietly, drink, and watch what was happening below. What was happening now was a mob of vampires crowding the main floor and lining up along the balcony railing.

When Al and Jenna walked into the room to join Jude, every vampire eye turned their way. Jenna imagined hunger lighting those eyes. Jude motioned them into a small side room. He closed the door behind him.

The vampire dropped into a nearby chair. His smile was so seductive, so completely beautiful male, that if Jenna hadn’t been currently into the primitive predator look, she might’ve tumbled. A dangerous thing to do around a vampire leader.

Jude wore his black tux and black silk shirt with the same ease that Al wore his clothes. Both men were comfortable in their skins.

Al remained standing. Jenna sat. She was storing up pain-free memories against the time when her feet would begin to complain about the heels.

“So what’s happening?” Al leaned against the closed door. No one would be interrupting their talk.

“To night we do some acting.” Jude looked completely relaxed. “Katherine and Kenny’s daughter has challenged me for leadership. Lia wasn’t close to her mom…Actually, she hated her. But Lia feels this obligation to the vampires her mother ruled.” He shrugged broad shoulders that hinted at strength and muscle. “Go figure. They never did anything for her.”

“Cold, Jude.” Jenna thought that loving a man like this would take lots of courage, because she wasn’t sure there was a softer side to him. And the hard side was terrifying.

“Hey, I do what I have to for me. And I’ve decided that I don’t have the time to take care of my own ten states, let alone Katherine’s ten. I want out.”

“Then go out there and tell everyone you’re resigning your post and Lia can have it.” Jenna thought about that. “Wait. Would this Lia go over to Stake’s side?”

“No. But she wouldn’t help you either. She wants to take the vampires in a new and gentler direction.” Jude snorted his contempt of Lia’s new and gentler approach. “No more killing, no more feeding from humans, no more acting like, well, vampires.”

“I don’t see a problem.”

“You wouldn’t.” Jude glanced at Al for support.

Al tried to explain. “She’s asking her people to go against their instincts. Believe me, I know how it feels when someone asks you to suppress your nature..”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Jenna looked back at Jude. “So what’s going to happen when we leave this room? Can you just say ‘I quit’?”

“It doesn’t work that way. I’ll have to battle her for the leadership.”

“Why? Sounds like a stupid way to find a leader. The strongest isn’t necessarily the smartest.”

Jude exhaled deeply. “I know, but vampires live a long time. The oldest are the most powerful in our society. And they still cling to the old ways. Try to tell a Viking that fighting isn’t the best way to settle things.”

Jenna didn’t like the way Al’s expression brightened. “Guys, this is
not
a smart idea.”

For a moment Jude looked regretful. Jenna suspected it wasn’t because he’d have to fight Lia but because he’d be giving up power.

“The decision is made. There’s no going back.” Jude leaned forward in his seat. “We’ll fight with swords. The loser is the one who dies first.”

“Dies?” Jenna saw a flaw in his plan.

“This is where it gets dangerous.”

“No kidding.” She looked at Al. He only shrugged.

“Lia’s insecure even though she’d never admit it. She has the brains to rule, but if she ascends, she’ll have to show she also has at least a little of her mother’s viciousness. It’s sad but true that the old ones admire a certain savagery in their leaders.”

Jenna didn’t see where Jude was going.

Al evidently did, because he nodded. “That’s where I come in.”

“Got it. I have to lose this fight in order to win.” He grimaced. “I hate losing. Anyway, when Lia finally stands over me with her sword at my throat, she has two options. She can stab me in the throat in a symbolic gesture or—”

“
Symbolic
gesture?” She was horrified. “What’s symbolic about it?”

“It’ll hurt like hell, but as long as she doesn’t slice my artery, I can heal myself before I lose too much blood. But there’s a segment of her advisors encouraging her to take my head as a show of strength. That would be too permanent for my taste.”

“She’s a murdering little bitch.” Jenna hadn’t realized she felt so strongly about Jude.

Jude shrugged. “You have to be able to do the tough stuff to rule vampires. We like to brag that we’re superior to humans, but we’re way behind the curve when it comes to civilized behavior.”

“So what do you want me to do?” Al probably didn’t see anything wrong with the vampire way of doing business.

Remember this when you’re having all those hot thoughts about him.
Along with the sexual sizzle came his predatory soul.

“I’ll have to put up a good fight so no one will suspect anything when she wins.” His expression said he doubted anyone would believe he could lose.

Jenna wondered about that. Was Jude just that good, or was ego playing into his opinion?

“When I go down, you’ll have to move fast.” Jude speared Al with a hard gaze. “Watch her sword arm. If she intends to merely stab me, she won’t raise her arm. But if you see her swing her sword arm back, you’ll have to interfere.”

Jenna had a good idea what form that interference would take. “Why Al? Couldn’t one of your friends come forward?”

“These are all Katherine’s people. None of my vampires were allowed in. I could invite only two people who’d represent my interests.”

“I don’t get it—” Jenna was cut off by someone knocking on the door.

“It’s me, Kenny. Can I come in?”

Jenna recognized the excited voice of Katherine’s husband. And Lia’s father?

Jude nodded at Al, who moved away from the door and then unlocked it. Kenny burst into the room and shoved the door closed behind him.

“Everyone’s getting restless.” He cast an anxious glance Al’s way. “You won’t hurt her, will you?”

Evidently Kenny realized where the true danger would come from. Jenna had a question, though. “If Lia’s your daughter, why didn’t you talk to her about all this? I don’t think Al’s boss will be too happy if your daughter offs an ally.” Jenna didn’t want to call Jude a friend, because she didn’t think Fin had any friends.

Kenny did everything but wring his hands. “She’s all wrapped up in taking over her mother’s place. Lia sees Jude as the enemy. She thinks he’ll carry on the same way Katherine did. She loves me, but she thinks I’m too weak, unwilling to do what needs doing to take our people in a new direction. Besides, she’s been listening to friends who think she can only win the respect of her people by showing no mercy to Jude.”

Jenna huffed. “Let me get this straight. She wants her vampires to be kinder and gentler, and to demonstrate her own kindness and gentleness she’s going to try to chop Jude into little pieces? Hey, works for me.” And yes, the situation called for sarcasm. “Vampire logic is a thing of beauty.”

Kenny’s face fell. “Please, I don’t want to lose her.”

Okay, now Jenna felt officially small and mean. “She’s a vampire, so I’m sure she’s strong enough to come through this fine.”

Kenny looked stricken. “But that’s the problem.”

Jenna stood; the others looked like they were ready to leave. “Problem?”

“Lia is human.”

Jenna stopped dead to consider the impossibility of what Kenny had just said.

“I was still human when I hooked up with Katherine. My swimmers must’ve been a lively bunch, because Katherine got pregnant and had Lia. Once we figured out that Lia didn’t act like Katherine—thank God for small favors—we had all the tests done.” His voice grew bitter. “Instead of treasuring her daughter for the miracle she was, Katherine rejected her. Said she was inferior. Do you know what the chances are of a vampire as old as Katherine getting pregnant?” He answered his own question. “Let’s just say I wouldn’t put any money on the odds.”

Jenna had lots of questions bubbling up from her bottomless well of curiosity, but she figured now wasn’t the time to ask them.

As they left the room for the dimly lit club, it was tough for Jenna to make out expressions, but both Jude and Al looked worried.