Eternal (Eternal series) (8 page)

“
I’m glad you're protecting us Micah,” Emma smiled radiantly, hoping she could convey how thankful she was to him for giving up something so precious in his eyes to protect others. “It’s very noble of you.”

"
Sometimes I feel more selfish than noble,
" Micah admitted quietly.

"I thought it was impossible for you to be selfish," Emma said lightly.

"
Nothing's impossible Emma.  I have my own reasons for being here, and trust me, they aren't always noble.
"

"What do you mean?" Emma was confused.

"
Sometimes I think I'm here for you more than for the others.
"

"Yeah, but you're my guardian.  That's how it's supposed to be isn't it?"

"
Not exactly,
" Micah said bluntly.  "
I'm not supposed to do anything for myself.  Being selfless sort of comes with the job.
"

"What are you doing for yourself?" Emma said, perplexed.

"
All of this.  It all benefits me.  I like to spend time with you.  I probably spend a lot more time than I should with you.  I'm getting too close.  I won't want to let you go.
"

"Then don't.  I don't want you to ever leave," Emma said desperately.

"
That's not how it works.
"

"Why not?  Why don't I have a say in this?  It's my life and my happiness too."

"
I don't want to talk about it anymore.
"  Micah said firmly.  "
I'm not leaving, so you don't need to worry about anything right now.  I'm here for as long as you need me.  Let’s talk about something else, okay?
"

“
Okay,” Emma mumbled.  She couldn’t help but wonder what she’d done to make her angel angry?

Chapter 6:  CHOICES

Emma sat in Political Science staring out the window.  She tried to focus as Mr. Warren lectured about the upcoming finals, but her mind was elsewhere.

She felt like she'd been really connecting with Micah.  He felt so familiar and comfortable.  He seemed to be drawn to her, but he also seemed to be pulling away.

The bell rang and Emma gathered her books, hurrying from the room.  She headed through the parking lot, not paying attention to the other students moving around her.

Emma got an uncomfortable feeling as she neared her car.  She glanced around nervously and soon discovered where the feeling was coming from.

Destry McQuade was leaning up against the brick wall on the south side of the school that faced the parking lot.  His arms were folded across his chest and he was staring.  He wasn't just staring off absently—he was staring at her…intently.

She thought he'd look away now that he'd been caught looking, but he held perfectly still, not taking his eyes off her. 

His eyes were narrowed, and Emma didn't know if it was from the sun or if he was angry with her again.  He couldn't be angry.  Emma hadn't been anywhere near him since their first awkward run in a month ago.  What did he have against her?

Emma climbed into her car and started it.  She slowly pulled out of her parking stall, glancing at Destry once more before pulling out onto the road.  He was still glaring, his gaze following her car as it went, like he expected something from her. 

Goosebumps ran up Emma's spine and she sped up, trying to get away.  The uncomfortable feeling didn't leave.  The further away from the school she got the stronger the unease grew in her chest.



Destry was at war with himself.  He couldn't figure out what it was about the girl Emma that had him feeling upside down and inside out.  Every time he saw her, he got that burning feeling that nearly choked him.  He tried his best to avoid seeing her, hoping to relieve the strange pulling and burning when she was around, but that wasn't an easy thing to do in a school this small.

What
was
going on?  This made no sense at all.  He had acclimated quite well at this new school.  He had a lot of friends and was constantly inundated by offers to date beautiful and popular girls, but none of it mattered to him.  He only saw Emma. He only thought about Emma.

He'd gotten a job after school at the local feed store, which just so happened to be owned by Chuck's dad.  That should have helped him to spread his focus out to other things, but it hadn't.  He found himself daydreaming about her while he was working. 

He'd often "wake up" from these daydreaming sessions to discover he'd loaded a truck, had a conversation with the customer, taken money and made change without remembering any of it.

Maybe if he could just talk to her for a few minutes...  But he couldn't bring himself to do it.  It was as if they were magnets; he felt pulled to her until he decided to make a move, then the magnets were suddenly reversed and pushing against each other.

Maybe it was his fear of rejection.  She'd never given him a smile or even a kind look since that first day when he'd driven her from the lunchroom.  It still didn't make any sense.  He'd never been shy, never been afraid of talking to a girl before.  It had always come easily to him.

He watched almost every day as Emma walked to her car.  He thought she'd looked his way a few times, but he couldn't be sure.  She didn't acknowledge that he existed.  She seemed to be in her own world. 

He could understand why Chuck had made that comment the first day about Emma keeping to herself and no one knowing much about her.  She was a walking mystery.  He'd been watching her for over a month now and he was no closer to knowing her than he'd been the first day.  He didn't know what he was going to do about it.  All he knew was that something had to be done, and soon, before he went totally nuts.



“I hope you don’t mind my saying so but you don’t really talk like an angel.”  Emma said as she stood over the stove stirring the hamburger she was cooking for dinner.

“
What’s that supposed to mean?”
Micah questioned.

“
Well, I guess I just thought that you’d be a little more…. I don’t know—proper or something?”

“
Like I said before, I’ve been around a long time.  I’ve picked up some bad habits.”

Emma laughed.  “I doubt you have any bad habits.”

“Well, that depends on what you count as a bad habit?”

“
I don’t think I need to explain bad habits to an angel,” Emma said with a huff.

“
I think you do,”
he said playfully,
“you’ve got me intrigued now.”

“
Okay, swearing for instance.  That’s a bad habit.”

“
I agree,”
he mused.
“Cursing is totally unacceptable not to mention very unladylike.  What else?”

“
Then there’s drinking, smoking, and chewing of course.”

“
Of course,”
he sounded amused.

“
And then there’s all the gross ones like: picking your nose, spitting, burping, and farting.”

“
Well, I can assure you that I have none of those,”
he chuckled. 
“Although I’d have to say that last one isn’t really a habit, but more of an involuntary release as I understand it.”

“
Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Emma laughed, “but it’s still gross,” she added, wrinkling up her nose.

“
I love it when you laugh
,” Micah confided. 
“I think it’s the most beautiful sound in the world.”

“
I doubt that,” Emma said, blushing. “Aren’t there angelic choirs or something where you come from?”

“
I’d trade them all for you
,” he admitted quietly.

That had sounded somewhat like a love declaration, but she couldn’t be sure.  Micah was always being sweet with her.  He was an angel after all.  Emma could feel the blush filling her cheeks as she looked in the cupboard for the can opener then proceeded to open the spaghetti sauce.

There was something she'd wanted to ask Micah since the first time he'd spoken to her but she'd been afraid of his answer.  She hadn’t wanted to upset the delicate balancing act going on between them.  But she couldn’t avoid it any longer and now was as good a time as any.  Besides, she had to know.  

“
Micah.”

“
Yes?”

“
Do angels ever….show themselves to mortals?”  This seemed like an innocent enough question to start out with.

“
Not very often, but on some occasions when necessary, yes they have shown themselves
.”  Micah's answer seemed very nonchalant; he must not have suspected her intent.

Emma decided to say it quickly and get it over with, like ripping off a Band-Aid.

“Do you think you'll ever show yourself to me?”  Her heart began to race as she worried about what repercussions this question might bring.  After she'd blurted it out she instantly wished she could take it back.  It was too soon.  She should have taken more time to try to get the words to have the effect she desired.

Micah was quiet for a long time. She should have just kept her mouth shut and left well enough alone.  She was such an idiot, always ruining everything.

“
I don’t think that would be a good idea Emma
,” he sounded unsure.

She shut off the stove and turned around, looking for a dishtowel to wipe her hands with.  “Why?”  She tried to sound calm, but she was upset that he didn't think it was a good idea.  Emma thought it was the best idea ever. “Would you get in trouble for doing that?”

“
No
,
not really in trouble.  I just don’t see how that could be of any benefit.  There's no reason for you to see me.
”  He sounded firm on the matter, but Emma knew there must be some way to negotiate.  If he could speak to her, then why couldn’t she see him?

“
Does talking to me have any benefit?" she asked firmly, "What is the reasoning behind that?”

“
Maybe you’re right Emma.  I probably shouldn’t be talking to you.”

“
That’s not what I meant, I just….”

“
I told you that I would though, as long as it didn’t interfere with your life,”
he said, cutting her off.
  “But showing myself to you would just involve you deeper in a reality that has nothing to do with the one you live in now.  Can’t you see that?”

“
Please,” she sounded pathetic when she tried to beg, she was wringing the dishtowel tightly in her hand.  “Just consider it, okay?”

“
Okay, but you need to accept that the chances aren’t good.  I don’t want you to get your hopes up Emma. There is no reason to change the way things are between us now
.”

“
I don’t understand Micah.  If it’s not breaking any rules, why are you so against it?”

“
It’s just not necessary.  You need to accept my answer Emma.  Why are you always in such a hurry to change things
,” his voice sounded slightly agitated.

“
Is there something wrong with that?” Emma was the one who sounded agitated now.

“
Y
ou should slow down sometimes.  Mortal life is a gift.  I don’t understand why you feel it necessary to rush through it.”

“
Life is short.  Haven’t you ever heard that one?  I’m not getting any younger.  I’m trying to experience everything possible in the time I’ve got.  Slowing down isn’t really an option.”

There was a short pause before he answered.

“
I guess you’re right.  I know that I don’t always see things the way you do.  Time's not a factor for me.  I'm not trying to tell you what to do; I just want you to enjoy life as it comes.  Mortality is such a short span of time in your eternal existence.  You should appreciate what is has to offer
.”

“
That’s what I’m trying to do,” Emma felt a little smug.

“
I meant enjoy the mortal part, not the angelic possibilities.
”

"It doesn’t sound like I have much of a choice in the matter,” Emma muttered under her breath. “I guess I have to go along— for now.”

Emma wasn’t about to let this go.  She was determined to find a way to see him.  He hadn’t said never, so there was still reason to hope.  That small piece of hope would fuel her creativity in getting him to yield in the end.

“
It’s for the best Emma, you’ll understand someday
.”  He was calm and reassuring, and Emma couldn't help but feel a little guilty.  She was going to make him go against what he believed was best for her.  She knew it was selfish, but she was only human.

Emma knew what she wanted, whether it was
best
for her or not.