Eternal Nights (41 page)

She shrugged. “I had a lot to think about.”

The possibilities were endless, but there was one topic that was the most likely. “You fretting about the smuggling ring? ”

“Not right now.”

Silence. Wyatt wasn’t sure how to broach what he wanted to talk about, and Kendall didn’t seem to be in a rush. Taking a deep breath, he decided the ball was in her court. She’d sought him out, and she’d get around to why in her own time. Hell, maybe she simply wanted to be with him. He was good with that.

But as she grew more tense, he knew she hadn’t come to just sit quietly, and her stress made his own nerves pull taut. Bug meant everything to him—everything—and he was scared of what would happen if he pushed. But he’d never avoided the tough stuff, and so he said thickly, “Straight out, Bug, that’s the best way.”

“Easier said than done.”

Wyatt rested his palm on her thigh, just above her knee. Like him, she’d changed into fresh clothes, and her camo fatigue pants were crisp to the touch.

About the time he feared he’d lose his mind, she said, “Wy?”

“Yeah, darlin’?”

“I love you.” She blurted the words fast, and before he could reply, Bug added, “More than that, I’m
in
love with you.”

Almost afraid to believe his ears, he turned his head to meet her gaze. As terrified as she looked, Wyatt knew he’d heard her exactly right. “I love you too, Kendall.”

“I know. I worked out a few things, that’s why I couldn’t sleep.” Her smile was sickly. “The thought of losing you leaves me petrified, but I can’t play it safe and go back to being just friends after we’ve been more. So I guess I’m on this ride for as long as it lasts.” Her voice petered out, and she shrugged.

Wyatt about whooped, but then what she’d said sunk in. “What the hell do you mean,
as long as it lasts?
I’m in this forever, and I expect the same commitment from you.”

“Don’t worry, I intend to give our relationship everything I have, but things will change when we have to leave J Nine.”

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to listen to what she was trying to say, to read between the lines. He knew Kendall; she would give it her all. So what had her nervous? “Yeah,” he told her, “things will change when we get back to Earth, but we’ll deal with them as they arise. I’m not looking for an off-world fling; I’m planning to marry you.”

So many expressions flew across her face so fast that Wyatt had no hope of reading them. “I think,” Kendall said at last, “that we should wait on that. You’ll change your mind.”

Anger burned, but he forced it down. This wasn’t about him. “Why do you think that?” he asked with hard-won neutrality. She looked uncomfortable and Wyatt wanted to cuddle her, but he couldn’t. Not until after they’d hashed this out.

“Relationships don’t last.” He tried to interrupt, but she talked over him. “Your parents are the exception to the rule.”

“You’re not your mother,” he told her.

“I know that, but it’s not only her.” She rested her hand over his. “No one stays together forever anymore. Ten years, fifteen, and they’re on to the next person.”

Wyatt snorted. “That’s not us. You and I are willing to do the hard work, to ride through the storms without bailing out. Dang, darlin’, we’re both so stubborn, the more difficult things get, the deeper we’ll dig in—together.”

“Yeah,” she conceded. “And you grew up with an example of how to do it, while I was raised learning what not to do.”

“The most important thing we know is that forever isn’t easy. It’s compromise and discussion and going toe-to-toe when it’s necessary. We already do that,” he reminded her.

“We do,” Kendall agreed. “But there are other challenges. When we’re back home, you’ll be in the field a lot, especially since we’re on the verge of another war, and in two more years, I’ll be out of the army. I don’t want to give up grad school.”

“I don’t want you to give up school either. Is there some reason why you couldn’t pick a college near where I’m stationed?”

“The army moves people around all the time. If I move with you, then I’ll continually have to start over in a new program, but if I don’t move with you, what happens to us?”

Wyatt gave her thigh a squeeze. “That’s easy.” He grinned. “Most of Spec Ops is stationed at Fort Honore in California. The odds are slim that I’ll be sent to any other post.” He sobered. “I will be out in the field a lot, though, you’re right about that, but you’re strong. You can take care of anything that comes up while I’m on a mission. I’ll miss you like heck while I’m gone, but I won’t have to worry that you can’t cope alone.”

“Do you have an answer for everything?”

“Pretty much. I checked into it, and once we’re married, the army will make sure we’re stationed at the same post.” Wyatt turned his hand to hold hers. “The other benefit to making it official is that you’ll be protected if anything happens to me.”

“Nothing better happen to you,” Bug growled.

“As much as I’d like to promise you that, I can’t.” He swallowed hard, almost afraid to ask. “Can you handle the fact that when I leave on a mission, I might not come back?”

Kendall stared off into the night—right at the top of the pyramid—but he didn’t say anything. If she needed to think about this, he had to give her time. They’d both need to make concessions for each other, and hers would be the more difficult. Wyatt liked his job—most of the time—and he was good at it. He didn’t consider himself an adrenaline junkie, but he was already regretting the day he’d be pulled out of the field. His next promotion, though, was at least six years away. In his mind, it wasn’t long enough, but for a woman wondering whether her man was going to make it home, that was an eternity of uncertainty.

Her sigh sounded loud in the predawn silence. “Yeah,” Bug said at last, “I can live with it, but I won’t like it.”

“If our situations were reversed, I’d feel the same way.” His good mood evaporated as he realized she hadn’t stopped staring at the capstone. “Damn it, Kendall, is that fricking pyramid going to come between us in this life too?”

“The temple didn’t come between Zolianna and Berkant,” she disagreed.

“The hell it didn’t. She loved that thing more than she loved him.”

Kendall finally looked at him, her gaze heated. “You’re wrong,” she said quietly. “You need to consider how her behavior fit into
their
culture.”

“He asked her time after time to leave with him. She wouldn’t. I think that speaks for itself.”

He heard Kendall blow out a long, harsh breath. “Zolianna—and Berkant, for that matter—were raised to follow the rules. The aliens didn’t prize rebellion. Yet you expected her to toss aside a lifetime of conditioning and run off with him.”

“Why not? He was willing to go against expectations.”

“Not at first he wasn’t, not when she could have left the temple easily. If he’d suggested it before she entered as a novitiate, she would have said yes. If he’d asked her before she took her final vows, she would have said yes. Hell, if he’d bothered to bring it up the first few years she was a priestess, Zolianna would have left with him immediately, but he didn’t. Berkant waited until she’d been part of the temple for almost fifteen years. He waited till after she’d been proclaimed successor to the High Priestess, and her sense of responsibility wouldn’t allow her to leave. Think about that, Wy.”

He frowned. “You have a point,” he admitted grudgingly. “Berkant did wait a long time, but that doesn’t change things for us. I’m not playing second fiddle to that pyramid.”

“Did I ask you to?”

“No, but you’ve spent more time since you arrived staring at it than looking at me.” And damn it, that hurt.

Kendall glanced down at her hands, then back at him. “Because I’m a coward, okay? Because I’m afraid to look at you, and talk about how I feel. Not because you mean less to me.”

“Aw, darlin’.” He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side. “I’m not scary.”

“No, but what you make me feel is. I’ve never been in love with anyone. I never wanted to be, but you snuck up on me.”

“It’s all the training I’ve had in covert operations,” he teased, and was rewarded when Kendall gave him a weak smile.

Since she was already frightened, he decided not to bring up marriage again. That could wait till she got used to the idea of being a couple. Hell, now that they were headed the same direction, he’d wait dang near forever for her to catch up with him.

“I heard you at the infirmary when you asked Sullivan if your team was staying on J Nine. I’m glad you are.”

“Me too.” Damn glad. Kendall loved him, but if he returned to Earth right now, she might convince herself they’d never last. It wasn’t true, but he needed the time to help her trust that.

“There’s one more thing I want to say.”

“What’s that?” Wyatt asked. Bug sounded serious.

“Remember that pink stone in the temple? The kunzite? I wondered why it was all over the place, but now I know. It was there to remind the priestesses that when in doubt, they should follow their hearts, not their heads. That the heart always knows the truth.” She edged closer. “When I listened to my heart,” Kendall put her uninjured hand over the center of her chest, “I knew we belonged together. It’s still scary, but I’m not going to run from what we have, I promise.”

“I know. Once you commit, it’s full steam ahead.” He grinned, then closed the gap between them to kiss her. It was long, and slow as he tried to show her how much he loved her. Kendall was his heart, part of his soul, and his whole world.

“Wy?”

“Yeah?” he murmured, then nipped her earlobe.

“Why don’t we go to bed, and see if a little physical exertion won’t help us sleep?”

He grinned. “Darlin’, you read my mind.”

Epilogue

It was nearly nine when Stacey heard Alex come in. Emma had been changed, fed, and burped, but she’d stubbornly refused to fall asleep. “Daddy’s home,” she said quietly, and she would swear she saw her baby’s eyes light up.

Before she could do more than wonder whether it was imagination, Alex entered the room looking tired. “Hey, Stace.” She lifted her face for his kiss. He lingered long enough for Emma to squawk. Easing away, Alex bent down, and pressed a loud smooch on Em’s forehead. “I didn’t forget you, munchkin.”

Emma reached for Alex, and Stacey handed her over. She was used to this. Em was definitely a daddy’s girl. It never ceased to bring a lump to her throat when she saw Alex cuddling his daughter. With care, he settled in the second rocker, and began to slowly move. “The private came by and told you I’d be late, right?” he asked keeping his voice low.

“Yes, he did.” Alex had developed a habit of making sure she knew when he wouldn’t be home on time. “Is there something going on? Or can’t you talk about it?”

With a huge yawn, Emma snuggled closer to Alex. “It wasn’t anything important. Noguchi wanted to meet with me and my three Spec Ops captains, so we could brief her on what we do.”

Stacey nodded. Alex had been running things, but last month Colonel Sakura Noguchi, the new post commander, had arrived and he’d resumed his usual duties. “What do you think of her?”

Alex didn’t speak for a moment, simply rocked and rubbed Emma’s back. The baby, Stacey noticed, was mostly asleep, and she couldn’t help wondering whether Em had deliberately remained awake until her dad came home.

“Noguchi is a hard ass,” he said at last.

Something in his voice tipped her off. “You like her.”

“Yeah, I do,” he admitted reluctantly. “She’s a straight shooter, and diplomatic enough to take over command without stepping on anyone’s toes. Not an easy feat with all these civilian consultants running their little fiefdoms.”

And not easy because she was taking over for the disgraced Colonel McNamara. Alex had spent months rooting out the members of the smuggling ring. It had helped that many of those caught had been eager to turn evidence, but he’d been meticulous—Stacey hid a smile. He’d had to be. Captain Kendall Thomas had made herself part of the investigation, combing through the files when she was off duty until Alex had officially drafted her. Stacey liked the young captain, but to say she was zealous about protecting the antiquities on J Nine was understating the matter.

“Noguchi invited us to dinner next week. Think you’re ready to leave the munchkin with a sitter?”

Stacey smiled. “The question is whether a sitter will be prepared to deal with Emma. She’s a little spoiled, thanks to her daddy.”

“Hey,” Alex said, returning her grin, “I have to get on her good side while I can. We both know that when she’s a teenager, Emma and I will be butting heads.”

“Because you’re overprotective.”

“Damn straight. It’s a dangerous world out there. I shielded Ravyn; I’ll shield my daughter too.”

Stacey shook her head. Em was only a few months old, but she already displayed a tenacity that was daunting. It was easy to imagine the battles her willful daughter would be having with her father in about thirteen years, and Stacey decided she’d better enjoy the relative peace while she could.

She didn’t say any of that, though. Alex knew. He’d been through the war once when he’d raised his sister, and he wouldn’t flinch at any weapon Emma brought to the battle.

“She’s asleep,” Stacey told him instead.

Alex checked, decided she was right, and stood to gently lower Emma into her crib. He gazed down at her for a minute, and Stacey joined him. “She’s beautiful,” Alex said softly.

“Yes, she is,” she agreed. Little Emma with her cinnamon hair and big brown eyes was going to break hearts one day. If her daddy let a boy near enough to ask her out.

“She’s already grown so much since she was born. Before we know it, she’ll be walking.” Alex was silent for a moment. “I hope Noguchi doesn’t call many of these after-duty-shift meetings. I don’t want to miss out on more than I have to.”

Emma stirred then, and Stacey tugged him out of the room before the baby woke up. When she had the lights lowered and the door partially closed, she asked, “Did you eat?”

“Yeah, the colonel had them bring mess to us.”