Eternally Yours 1 (33 page)

“I am not your child, Serenity. In fact, I’m not a child at all.
You expect me to leave Luc in this place of endless suffering? Alone? Well, I can’t. I won’t.” Tears swam in her eyes, blurring the figures in front of her to fuzzy outlines of humanity. How could they remain so calm, so incredibly lovely to the eyes yet so stony in their hearts? “Haven’t you ever loved anyone?”

“Are you saying you love Luc Asante, Jodie?
” Serenity asked. No censure filled her tone this time, only curiosity. “What about Gabriel, the man you left behind on Earth?”

“You, yourself, told me Gabe was lost to me. But beside
s that, having the chance to know Luc has opened my eyes to things I’d never allowed myself to see before. Gabe and I might have lived a happy life together, but he wasn’t my true match.”

“
And now you believe Luc Asante is? What makes you so sure?”

Jodi
e smiled for the first time since she’d walked into this massive room. “Because you wouldn’t have paired us up if he wasn’t. Our telepathic communications, the mind-blowing melds, even our arguments are unique from all other bounty hunters. You once told me our melding was natural. That Luc and I complemented each other. Why? Obviously because we are two halves of the same whole. I can survive without him if I have to, even find love with someone else. But we’re both stronger when we’re together.”

Placide’s lips twisted. “Do you really think so?”

His tone bristled against her nape. “Yes, I do.”

He spun his finger. “
Close your eyes, Jodie. Serenity and I will be happy to show you exactly how well you two fare when you’re together.”

Chapter 33

Jodie barely closed her eyes, didn’t even have the chance to inhale before the first lifetime appeared before her. She recognized the woman immediately: Greta Hamburg.

But this time, she
also got the opportunity to see the man who’d captured Greta’s heart. Erick Hamburg. Tall, handsome, with eyes that snapped with mercury lights and thick, dark hair tied in a queue. Shoulders wider than the Manhattan skyline tapered to a slim waist and a nice, tight butt.
Hubba-hubba. You go, girl. No wonder you always looked so happy before the witch hunt came to town.

The moment
Erick spoke, Jodie lost her sense of amusement. Luc! The cadence, the drawl, the attitude behind the tone. Erick Hamburg was all Luc. Riveted now, she watched their relationship blossom into full-blown love, saw their blissful marriage, followed by Proctor Verhoeven’s accusation against Greta, the subsequent trial and her horrible, agonizing death. When the end came, she not only saw Greta’s last sight of her husband blindly following the minister’s lead. She heard Greta’s last thoughts.
Erick, how could you betray me like this?

Next came Christine Grainger and another hunky version of Luc
: Christine’s betrothed, Nathan Bledsoe. This time, Jodie watched the heartbreaking farewells when Nate went off to war and blinked back hot tears when he died cursing Christine’s name. Jodie also recognized the villain who’d set fire to Christine’s house, Stephen, as the very same Proctor Verhoeven. Obviously all three of them played some kind of bizarre karmic roundup game generation to generation. So, she wondered, who was Verhoeven aka Stephen in their last incarnations?

She couldn’t place him anywhere in her memory. But w
ith a blur of foster homes behind her, maybe she’d forgotten every character who’d caused her some kind of harm in this last life. He might have been a boy in one of those homes, some cruel teenager who’d taunted her about her scars. If so, she’d have a better chance of remembering a significant snowflake in a blizzard. Too many villains could fill that role.

Disappointment flooded her as she watched herself and Luc cross paths lifetime after lifetime.
So many mistakes, so many missed opportunities to reconnect. Until the incarnation where they didn’t actually meet until they’d died. First, Luc’s life: idyllic and happy for the most part. Okay, so a pang of jealousy bit when Luc wed Daphne, but the feeling eased to sympathy when the marriage quickly unraveled.

By the time she reached her
childhood as Jodie Devlin, the tears she’d held in check slid down her cheeks. And the emotional upheaval began again. Her years in the villages of Central America, that fateful day of the coup… And the man.

She sat up higher,
studied the characters emblazoned in her mind. Managed to split the images into three separate entities. The traitor, Stephen aka Verhoeven, now known as Matt appeared in her village only moments before the violent melee began! He was a drug runner, pretending to be on a journey of goodwill. Intent on taking control of a rival runner’s territory, he’d stormed into the peaceful village of Castelan and annihilated everyone in some mistaken quest for a cocaine connection. Nausea rose. Her parents hadn’t died in a political coup at all. The battle had been over cocaine. The very idea cheapened their deaths in her eyes, made their sacrifices—their loss—less noble. And worse, Matt Cooper had fired the shots into the Jeep’s engine. Doubled over, she gripped her stomach to regain her equilibrium.

When she
dared to look again, there was Luc, a cadre of international lawyers in tow, swooping into the consulate to protect his friend and covering up Matt Cooper’s crimes with buckets of hush money. For a moment, her heart tumbled in freefall. Until some deep inner logic reminded her that Luc had never known her in this life, hadn’t realized he’d protected the man who not only scarred her but who’d killed her parents. And she forced herself to bear that uppermost in her mind as she watched the rest of Luc’s story unfold. The failure of the charity, Amity-For-All, coincided with the eventual demise of his marriage. The rock-climbing trip with Matt, Luc’s fall, and the doctor’s insistence that Daphne allow them to remove the ventilator, whipped Jodie’s heart until she wept.

Through it all, the true villain stood at Luc’s side. Matt Cooper, best friend, confidante, business partner, snake. And eventually, murderer.
Matt Cooper had victimized them both. He’d even wronged Daphne. Funny. In hindsight, she recognized Luc’s wife as Greta’s mother and as Nate’s younger sister. So, Matt Cooper’s circle of victims probably extended far beyond Luc and Jodie. Eventually he’d have a great deal of pain to answer for.

As for her own judgment,
too much of the last few centuries had centered on revenge. She would allow Matt Cooper to face his Karmic Justice when he came to the Afterlife.

At last, the screen
in her head went blank. Gripping the chair’s arms, she rose slowly, pausing long enough to pull herself even with the two Elder Counselors. “We’re soulmates, aren’t we? Luc and I are fated to meet over and over until we can learn from our mistakes and finally reunite. It all comes back to betrayal and forgiveness, doesn’t it? Just like I told Sean.”

The Elders said nothing, and their silence only increased her fervor.

“Well, guess what? I forgive him. Do you hear me?” Tossing her head back, she raised her voice. “With all my heart, for all our lifetimes, I forgive him!”

Placide shook his head. “I’m afraid it’s too late for that.”

“No, it isn’t. I’ll simply go to the Chasm and bring him home.”

Serenity frowned.
“I must warn you, Jodie, if you attempt to intervene with Luc’s punishment, the Board will consider your actions a violation of the probation set up after your last flight. And they will not be as lenient with you this time around.”

A knot of fear clogged her throat, but she swallowed hard. “
I’m not abandoning Luc to the Chasm. Even if he wasn’t my soulmate, he’s my partner.”

“Not anymore
,” Placide replied. “Regardless of your actions on his behalf, Luc is forever lost to you.”

Did they honestly expect her to accept their demands with a careless shrug and go back to business as usual? No way, no how.
“I’m sorry. But I won’t leave Luc trapped in some half-life, my own soul be damned.”

Placide’s composure slipped, and his brow furrowed.
“Our patience is not limitless, young lady. The Board went through a great deal of trouble to give you and Luc one final opportunity to iron out your differences, grow spiritually, and move on together. Luc’s hesitancy to confide his culpability when you revealed your history, and the rage he still carries, have rendered him unworthy of any more of our attention.”

“Maybe he’s undeserving of your attention, but he still has mine.
”

Serenity placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“You worry needlessly, Jodie. He will not be harmed. After he has served his sentence in the Chasm and has been fully cleansed of his wrongdoings, he will be reborn into a new life. He will begin again on Earth, with a new circle of loved ones.”

The knot returned, choking her words.
“You mean… he and I…?”

“Will no longer be linked here or on Earth. You, too, will move on. Though without the requisite stay in the
Chasm, provided you keep a sane head and remain here serving the Board as you’ve been assigned.”

In other words
, be a good girl, keep your mouth shut, and you’ll be rewarded with a treat? Hell no. They had to be kidding. Kidding or not, this was beyond cruel. She and Luc had finally rediscovered each other and now, they’d be forced to give up that unique bond? Forever?

“How can you do this?”
The question erupted, a harsh whisper, roughened by shock and disappointment.

“
We
have done nothing. Your mistakes are your own. As Placide said, we’ve been patient for many lifetimes. But sooner or later, the truth becomes obvious. You and Luc, despite what you claim you feel now, are clearly unwilling to learn from your past. You have both chosen to hold onto grudges and past mistakes. There is nothing left for us to do but find each of you more compatible soulmates. I’m sorry, darling girl.”

Monsters. These weren’t benevolent counselors. They were monsters.

“You don’t give a damn about us,” she murmured. “You sit here, playing judge and jury, with no regard for the emotions of those you toy with. To hell with you. To hell with all of you.”

Turning on her heel, Jodie stormed from the auditoriu
m. She’d find Luc—even if they couldn’t stay together. She wouldn’t permit him to suffer the tortures of the damned. Not for one moment longer than she needed to find him and tell him she loved him, had loved him always.

If she were willing to forgive him
—and God help her, she forgave him wholly—no one else had the right to demand more from him.

Chapter 34

Jodie didn’t stop moving until her fist landed atop Samantha’s desk. Leaning forward, she pinned the receptionist with an icy stare. “You know everything about this place, don’t you, Samantha?”

Samantha
’s mahogany skin paled to sickly orange. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I need to get to the Chasm. And I’m betting you have the coordinates.”

Eyes narrowed, Samantha frowned. “Have you lost your mind? I don’t know anything about the Chasm, and even if I did, the Board wouldn’t send you there.”

She thumped her chest with a fist. “
I’m
sending me there.” No way in hell anyone would stop her. Not Sherman’s capable receptionist, not the Elder Council, not the Board or Boru Magoo the Panda! “So where is it?”

“
I don’t…that is to say…you’d need…” Samantha sighed and slapped her hands on her thighs. “Why the hell would you want to go there anyway?”

“Never mind why,” a gravelly voice interjected from behind
Jodie. “Give her the coordinates, Samantha.” Jodie whirled to come face to face with Sherman. His ageless eyes crinkled to stained glass when he flashed a beatific smile that nearly split his sunken apple cheeks in half. “Go get him, Jodie. Bring him home.”

His support
caught her heart, but pricked her conscience. “You won’t get into trouble for this, will you?”

He shook his head, and the white mane flowed around his face like angels’ wings.
“Believe me, sweetheart, any punishment I face will be minimal compared to what they’ll do to you. And to Luc.”

“Luc?”
Samantha’s screech skittered down Jodie’s spine. “You mean Luc’s in the Chasm? Why didn’t you say so?” She ripped a clipboard off her desk with one hand, fingers of the other dancing over the surface until the familiar purple characters glowed to life. “Here!”

Without hesitation, Jodie took the offered board and slapped her palm on the surface.
Familiar pulses rippled through her cellular structure. Building a mental wall between herself and the buzzing occupants in the crowded Reception Room, she allowed her circuits time to absorb the most minute details. After she drained every iota and the board went dark, she dropped it back on Samantha’s desk.

“Thank you,” she told the woman and turned.

Sherman’s grip on her forearm prevented her from moving ahead. “My dear, a moment please.” He pulled her away from Samantha and the pressing throng, closer to his office door. “Are you certain you want to go through with this? I feel I should warn you. Spending time in the Chasm has a terrible effect on a spirit. Depending upon how long he’s been there and what they’ve subjected him to, Luc may not welcome your arrival. He may not even know you anymore. Are you sure you understand the repercussions?”

Repercussions. Through all their lifetimes, she and Luc had self-destructed on repercussions. Not this time.
She inhaled sharply, hoping to clear her memory of the recent events inside the auditorium. “I understand that either way, Luc and I are lost to each other. But we’re both responsible for the predicament he’s in now. And I won’t move on and leave him suffering. I love him too much.”

Releasing his hold,
Sherman stepped back, beaming. “Hard to argue with that.”

~~~~

Fire consumed Luc. Trapped inside an invisible box, he suffered the tortures Jodie must have endured throughout her many lifetimes. Sharp-toothed flames bit and pierced his circuits, creating an endless tattoo of agony. Above his own screams, Luc’s mind absorbed the taunting of other voices, calling him a freak, a monster, scar tissue. Invisible hands slapped him, poked him, shoved him against the walls of his cage.

Throughout his torment, he remembered Jodie. Focusing on her ocean-blue eyes, her storm cloud of dark hair, the way she laughed
, filled him with a minute semblance of peace. Until the doubts invaded. Why hadn’t he realized how much he loved her? Why hadn’t he recognized her at that first meeting in Sherman’s office? Dammit, all the time he’d fought her, fought Placide, fought Sean. All the time they’d tried to get him to see the truth. And the more they argued with him, the more blind he’d become. Now, he’d lost her. Forever.

The doubts tore down his veils of peace, trampled them at the bottom of his black cell, erased Jodie from his memory banks, and let in the pain.
Without the images of Jodie, no matter how he fought, he found no relief from the endless torment. No one came to his aid—if, in fact, anyone else resided in this private hell. As the relentless suffering continued, he lost more and more of himself. Soon, he
was
Scar Tissue: numb, ugly, and no longer recognizable as once being human. Still the fire burned. His only constant companion.

~~~~

Whatever Jodie assumed she’d find in the Chasm, the actual site surpassed her dismal expectations. She landed in a stark landscape of hard-packed gray sand without foliage, water, or even shiny pebbles to break the linear ennui. A hollow breeze, chilling in its emptiness, drained residents of hope. Groans from the damned rang in her ears in an endless symphony.

Worst of all were the cubes. T
he prison cells. Black glass cubes, several stories high, created an ebony penal colony. Poor souls stood crushed inside their private hells, experiencing untold agonies no outsider could truly imagine. Finding Luc among these miserable masses would prove almost impossible. Unless…

Was she still
able to communicate with him through a sensory link? Despite the barren wasteland littered with private cells of endless agony? Only one way to find out.
Luc! Can you hear me?
She paused, ears cocked, waiting for anything to call back to her. Nothing.

Luc!
Only her own voice echoed in the dreary atmosphere. Dammit! Now what? She’d have to check these high-tech cells one at a time until she found the one that held Luc.

Yeah? Then what?
She didn’t have a clue what she’d do when she found him.

O
ne step at a time. First, she’d find him. And then, she’d figure out how to release him. At that point, once they’d reunited, surely, together, they could find a way out of this purgatory. They could do anything. Together. If only she found him!

One step at a time.

On hesitant feet, she approached the first cube, hand outstretched.
Zap
! Her fingers made contact with the smoky surface and a sudden electrical charge blistered her. Definitely not Luc.

She scanned the multitude of cubes crowded on the land like some broad metropolis.
Time to rethink her methodology. If she had to touch every cube to locate Luc, and every wrong contact sent shockwaves through her system, she’d be a static mess by the time she finally succeeded. Hell, she might not survive! The chance for overloading her circuits was too great.

Aaarrrrgggghhhh!
The growl echoed inside her with such ferocity, she shuddered.

Luc!
She stumbled forward, straining to locate the source of the sound. The tortured scream ripped through her again. This way! Fear jumped from synapse to synapse, but she used the energy spurts to push onward, leap by leap. Again and again, his cries thundered in her pulses, creating a global positioning signal for his cube.

The sounds grew louder, rougher, scraping her nerves.
They seemed to come from a cube glowing bright orange in the dismal scenery. As she drew nearer, the heat hit her full-force. The cube she’d found lay engulfed in fire.

Oh, sweet Jesus. No!
The Board had obviously upped Luc’s Human Life Empathy to reflect her past lives by eternally burning him alive.

Turning her gaze to the sky, she shouted, “I forgive him. Let him go. Please.”
No reply except the howling wind and the continuous torment of the man in the three-dimensional box. Raising her arm, she blocked the waves of heat from burning her face. “Luc!”

Go away!

Luc? It’s me. Jodie.

I don’t give a damn who you are. Let me out or go away!

I’m going to let you out, Luc. As soon as I figure out how.
Through eyes misty with tears, she surveyed the box from all angles. Between the dim light, the boiling heat, and her own anxiety, she could discern no clasps, no openings, no way to release Luc from this hellish prison.
Is there an opening on your side?

Break the glass, dammit!

With what? She didn’t think to bring a sledgehammer. No rocks littered the ground. But she couldn’t bear the idea that Luc suffered on the other side of that box. No other choice. On a deep inhale for fortitude, she raced forward and slammed herself against the box. The heat seared her shoulder and hip where she made contact, and she cried out. Luc’s groans also increased, and despite the pain, she slammed against the cube again. This time the box tilted on its side, wobbled, and then landed again.

Hang on, Luc!

On another running start, she shoved again. And when the box tilted, she didn’t wait for it to wobble back into position before knocking herself against it again. With each slam, the pain sizzled, until her arms felt like strips of bacon on a hot griddle. Once, twice, three times, a dozen times, she bit her lip, ignored the agony and collided into the burning wall. At last, the cube teetered and fell onto its back side. The seal shattered and Luc flew from inside the cage.

But the flames still
engulfed him, and the burst of air made the fire burn hotter. Blinded by pain, he flew upward, snarling his rage.

“Luc, no!”
If he heard her cries, he paid no heed. Violence and fire swirled about him, pelting the ground near her feet. Terror rose in her heart, and she jumped back, out of target range of his hatred.
Luc, please. It’s me. Jodie.

I know no Jodie. Only pain.

She had to get him to remember her, to remember them. To remember who he’d been and could be again.
Think beyond the pain, Luc. Remember.

There is nothing to remember.

Yes, there is. You’re Luc Asante. Do you remember?

There is nothing to remember. Only pain.

There’s love, Luc. Remember love.

No!

How could she reach him? She had to reach him. Make him remember. But dammit, how? Only one idea came to mind, and the mere thought drove her heartbeat into spasms. But she forced the fear into some darkened corner of her mind, cast the horrible memories into the empty wind, and devoted herself to her sole objective. Flying upwards, she called, “Meld with me, Luc!”

Realization blossomed on his face
, and he whirled away from her. “Jodie, no!”

She chased after him, but he continued to evade her, zigging and zagging across the acrid sky. “Let me go, dammit.”

Like hell. “Not without me.”

“Yes, without you. I love you, Jodie. I’ve always loved you. I’ve earned this hell, but you’ve earned a chance to be happy. Go find it.”

“Forget it, pal. We’re an all or nothing team,” she shouted and threw herself directly into the center of the flames.

Agony enveloped her. Flames sank razor sharp teeth into her circuits, devouring her cell by cell.
Once again, as she had over so many lifetimes, she surrendered to the white-hot blinding fury of fire. Before the pain overwhelmed her senses, she cried out, “I love you, Luc. And I forgive you.”

“I love you, Jodie. Now and always.”