Evanescence (Black Rose #1) (18 page)

"Yes, your curly red-head, Essence LaRoux." 

Not only will I become a vampire, but I will forget my human life. My memories. Memories that make me, ME. I will forget sixteen years of my life. I will forget Sarah. Worst of all, I will forget Essence.

"All that would be remembered," my father says, "is the vampire within you. Everything human, will be forgotten. You will remember us, your family, including Mike because of what he is now. You will also remember your history and your training. Maybe not the happenings of it, but you will know what you have learned today. It will be like second nature to you. As easy as breathing."

"Evan," Essence says to me silently. "What does that mean about us?"

I shake my head. 

"Don't listen to them," I tell her. 

"Kaius," Sarah says. "You mind if I…"

"Sure, go on ahead, Sarah."

She nods. 

"Evan," she approaches me. "I knew this day would come. I've waited for it. I knew one day you would also forget about me. About everything we've been through."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask.

"I didn't want to distract you. It was not the time. So, I made you keep a diary and write."

It makes sense.

"So, that's why you were so firm with me writing every day? So, when I do forget, it would help me remember?"

"Yes," she answers, "and no."

"And no?"

"When you forget, it will be as though it never happened. There's no guarantee you will even believe what you've written. You can read it all you want, but you won't remember. You won't even have those feelings you had when you wrote those recollections. It will just be words on paper, but for me, I will still have you in my heart as though you passed on, yet I know when I visit, you'll be right here."

Essence coils herself around my arm and places her forehead against it.

"Everything. Everything will be gone. My school. You. Essence and the feelings that come with it."

"I'm sorry, Evan," Sarah says, "we tried our best."

I nod

"Is there anything else I need to know? Please, tell me now."

"Ah yes," Cedric interferes. "Not to spoil the moment."

"Haven't you done enough?" Mike says.

"Not quite," he responds. "I'm doing more for him than all of you. I'm actually helping him prepare aren't I? Aren't I Evan?!”

"What more could you possibly want him to know?" Bianca asks.

"Just one last thing that I believe to be important," he says. "How to fight."

My father shakes his head.

"I have made my decision and it is final. No more of this, Cedric," he commands. "I will not teach him to fight."

Cedric shook his head.

He laughs.

"Then allow me," he says as he walks up to me.

My eyes lock into his which glow red.

"Cedric no!" my father yells. 

He strikes my face and Essence falls to the side. The blow is the most painful thing I have ever felt in my life. I feel bones in my face shift and a flash of white light blinds me. I tumble to the edge of the cliff and lay still, fighting the blow.

I clench my fists, full of grass, and get on my hands and knees.

"Cedric," I say as he stands above me.

A cold sensation spreads across my body; freezing. I look into my palms, then flip them over. Pale, and my mark appears, but it glows of red and orange. My mouth aches and pains and my tongue cuts across them.

Am I changing?

Each breath is as loud as a gavel slam. I stand to my feet, and Cedric begins to back away, but his face held fear. Everyone does the same.

"His eyes, his mark," mother says.

They all turn to father as he grips onto his necklace. One by one, they take a knee and bow their heads, placing a fist against their cold, still heart, their clans marks exposed. Sarah, Essence, and Cedric remain standing. My father hisses at them and they stand to their feet. Not one of them look me in the face. He then turns to me and stares with a worry across his face. Cedric heads back into the mansion, keeping his eyes upon me until the doors close. I fall, but catch myself on the ground.

"I'm alright," I say, though no one had asked. "I thought I was changing." Essence joins my side and helps me to my feet.

"That will be all for today. Everyone inside," he commands as he studies me. By everyone, I had assumed he doesn't mean myself, Essence, and Sarah. Without a word they listen. Bianca looks back at me, but I can't read her expression. Mike is also unreadable.  

"Come back soon, Evan" my father says. He then heads back into the mansion and closes the big red doors. No goodbye. No good job. Just leaves.

"Are you okay, Evan? Let me see," Essence says as she examines my face moving it here and there.

"We must go now," Sarah says. 

"What's the problem?" I ask.

"Nothing. It's just time to leave."

Why is everyone acting so strange?
Essence puts her hand into mine and we head back to the car.

                          
 
      ~

The car ride back is quiet. I can't help but think about the tests and more importantly, what Cedric had said about me forgetting everything. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse. I was starting to look forward to becoming a vampire because I learned about who I am and where I came from. I would never reject that, but now, things have changed and I have no choice, but to keep moving forward. The two things I have to look forward to: dying, and forgetting who Sarah and Essence are.

Essence stares out of the window. She hasn't said a word since we got in the car. Sarah is focused on the road and has not said a word neither.
What's going through her head? Why is everyone making me feel as though I had done something wrong? I just did what I was asked and it was Cedric who started all of this. Not the other way around.
We pull into Essence's driveway.

"Goodnight, Essence," Sarah says to her.

"Goodnight, Ms. Foster."

We step out of the car and head up her front steps.

"I'm sorry about today," I tell her. Her face hugs the floor. She shakes her head then looks into my eyes.

"It's not your fault. We went for answers and we got them."

"Yeah," I nod. "Not the answers I expected.

She cups her hand to my cheek. I place my hand above hers and press it more firmly against my cheek.

"You look so sad."

"I have a reason to be," I respond almost choking.

"I'm here for you, Evan," she says.

"Until I forget who you are."

She stands silent for a moment.

"No. Even then, I'll still be there."

I kiss her forehead, then we wrap our arms around each other listening to the rain.

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes," I smile. "We'll make it special."

"Special?"

"Yes," I respond. "Special."

She hugs me one last time before letting go. She places her hands on the doorknob and stops. 

"Goodnight, Evan.”

"Goodnight, Essence."

This morning was the first time in a while that I received a text from Mike. He went home to his grandmother, who missed him, but apparently the happiness was short lived when he broke the news that he wasn't moving and staying in Utica. I can only imagine what his parents are going to say, especially his mother, when he lays it on them.

The best talks I've had with my family were with Mike and Bianca, and I can honestly say they look great together. At least now I understand why Bianca always acted a certain way around me. Now my family awaits my transformation, but I wish it could be postponed. I can't say I wouldn't want any of this to happen to me, because I have to accept who I am and not who I had originally believed I was. It's only right.

"Go again, Evan you're really getting the hang of this!" Essence exclaims.

"Alright, here I go!"

I shift into position, crouching down to the ground in a track stance. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and start to run as fast as a bullet out of a gun. A tree approaches. I leap up half of its body and climb, then leap to the next and climb, then repeat once more onto another tree. When I get to the very top, I press my foot onto a branch and become suspended in the air with my arms outstretched as I back flip. I toss my head back and Essence gazes into my eyes. I smirk and tuck into a ball for a finish. When my feet plant on the ground, I bow. She claps.

"You make it look so – easy. I feel like I can do it, but I know I can't." 

"Yeah? Guess I'm loving it a bit too much myself," I smile. "It is getting easier."

But then that can also mean I'm getting closer to dying. Forgetting. I walk over and stand before her as she sits on a rock. She has on denim shorts and a fitted t-shirt covering her model shaped body. Never seen this much of her flawless skin before. My shirt, shoes, and socks are somewhere around, but my shorts are comfortable.

"So that's what's under your shirt," she says grinning and hugging herself.

I look down at my body and blush.

"You like?"

"I love."

"My love," I say pressing my lips against hers. She holds my face and our lips dance beneath the trees.

Her surprise.

"Let me show you something," I say taking her hand to follow me. She grabs her violin.

"Where are we going?" She asks.

"You'll see."

I walk her down a path and to the sands of the beach. I watch as a smile spreads across her lips.

Out of sand and wood, I made a circular pit. Five steps down and into the sand, is a table for two with two chairs. Hand-picked blue and lavender flowers are around the perimeter and in between each vase of flowers are small white candles pressed into the sand. Each candle sits inside a glass bulb. The sun’s departure is near. Timing was never more perfect and on my side.

"Evan, this is beautiful!" She exclaims, turning to me. "I don't know what to say, honestly." She then jumps into my arms.

I catch and hug her.

"Let's enjoy it," I say.

I lead her down the steps and into the pit. The flowers and candles are at shoulder level, and on the table is a picnic basket. I cover the table with a cloth and then remove the loaded turkey sandwiches, I prepared for her and her can of soda. I then remove my veggie burger that's wrapped in aluminum foil to keep its warmth, a big bag of chips to share, soda, and a huge bowl of fruit I got from the market. Inside, I leave the necklace I made for her.

"Wow," she says. "You never fail to surprise me."

"I try my best with you," I say.

She reaches across the table and rubs my cheek.

"You're doing more than anyone else has."

I smile and brushes some of her red hair from her face.

"Looks like sundown is near. Shall we light the candles?" She asks.

I pat the outside of my pants’ pockets and that was the one thing I forgot to bring. A lighter.

"May have to do it the caveman way."

I search the ground for sticks. I have no experience with the old fashion way. I find a few in the forest. I step over the circle of candles, but my heel knocks one and it begins to roll.

"I'll get that," she says.

"No, I got it," I smile. "You stay there and enjoy your food."

"Okay," she giggles.

I step into the pit and the bulb rests at her feet. She smiles at me as I bend over and pick it up. When I do, a flame appears, the candle is lit.

"How did you--?"

I shake my head.

"I--I don't know I just…grabbed it." 

"Do it again," she says staring at the candle in my hand. I grab the next candle in the circle around us. It lights as well. Essence exhales deeply with excitement and I look at her just as surprised. I place the two candles down.

"Evan, your eyes. They're…not like before. They're different."

"What do you mean?"

She stares into them.

"They're orange, a bit red. Like fire."

I reach for the third candle, but before I can touch it, the candles all light one by one. Our eyes follow each candle around their circular path.

"Am I doing this?"

Essence looks around at the candles and shakes her head.

"We both know it isn't me."

"How is it possible that I can do something and don't know I'm doing it?"

"Something to do with becoming a vampire perhaps?"

I shrug.

"Maybe. I'll find out from them."

"Come. Sit. Eat with me and be careful with those," she says eying my hands.

I smile and we begin to eat.

"They seemed afraid of you after what Cedric had done."

"Yeah, I can't imagine why."

"Your face it…It healed like instantaneously, but now that I think about it…"

She pauses as I bite into my veggie burger. I wait for her to finish, but she sits in deep thought.

"What's wrong?" I ask. She eyes the candles then looks back at me.

"When he hit you, you healed. Remarkably fast, but like it glowed. Like fire. Like how these candles lit."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying whatever you did yesterday, and from what I seen just now, I think they are somehow related. And from the expression on their faces, maybe it's just me but, I doubt they don't know something about this."

"If you're right, I wonder what this means. I wonder if it's something good or, bad or—I don't know."

She shrugs and shakes her head.

"I'm not sure, but if this is true, I'm willing to bet they have the answer to that."

I bite into my food and take a drink of soda. The sun departs over the horizon. Orange and red no longer bleeds across the sky. Instead, the pit shines orange and red like a campfire. The sky begins to glean of star light.

"Are you afraid? Of us?" I ask.

"Not of them personally. Maybe. It's more of the nature of what they are and what you are."

I stare at her.

"You mean who?"

She captures the offense I took.

"I'm so sorry, Evan I didn't mean it that way. I'm not used to, you know, myths being true." 

"Don't worry about it," I try to laugh. "Even I'm afraid of myself, but I'm surprised you haven't run from me yet."

"Well, apparently, you'd catch me if I tried," she jokes.

"Good point. I would."

"You know, who would have thought two guys that are best friends go to my school, become vampires, and that there has been a family of them living here in Utica for years?"

"I would've never thought this was where my life was headed. I had believed high school, college, have a family, grow old,
then
die, was life."

"Are you afraid?"

"Petrified," I answer almost immediately. "But all I can do is accept myself for who I am."

"And not 'what' you are," she smiles.

"And not 'what' I am," I agree

We sit quiet and finish our meals. She looks to the water troubled.

"What's on your mind?" I ask.

She stays quiet a moment longer.

"I'm just afraid of what Cedric said. About what happens when you die.”

Her face begins to blush. She licks her lips and still keeps her eyes averted from me. 

"All of the memories we're making now. The talks we've had. Me. There's a strong possibility you will forget, but I won't. I'd have to live with the fact that I only lose people. I don't get to keep them."

I get up from my seat and sit next to her.

"I won't forget,” I say. “I will remember you. I have my notebooks to help me."

"We don't know if that's going to work. It may all just be words to you, Evan."

"It won't be!"

She finally looks into my eyes. Tears sit on her bed of eyelashes. Her bottom lip tries to hide beneath the top.

"But how do you know? How do you know that once you die, you will wake up, read your notebooks, and believe? Even if you do believe, you won't feel those memories you wrote. It will all just be words. Words. Words. Words!"

She begins to sob.

"It won't be that way. I just know it won't."

"There's nothing you can do about it, Evan," she cries out. "At any moment, your heart will stop. You will die. When you wake, you will no longer know who I am. You will forget about this. About me. About…us."

My heart begins to pain and my throat begins to choke.

"Essence, no. I love you. When I die and wake, I will still remember you."

Her eyes shake and quiver holding tears above her beautiful eyelashes.

"I would hope so because I love you too, Evan."

We hold onto each other's eyes a while longer. I reach into the basket and pull out the chain and heart-shaped jewel with silver wings. My step-mother, Sarah, had given it to me when I was a child. It used to hold an oil inside that kept bugs from the forest away. She figured it be perfect for me since I was always in the forest, but I barely ever worn it. She understood that it looked more feminine than masculine to wear, but she never wanted it back.
Give it to one of your girlfriends
, she always joked. Of course, I've never had eyes for anyone except Essence. The story of Viscus had given me the idea.

"What are you doing, Evan?"

I place the jewel onto the chain so that it hangs.

"I'm giving you my necklace."

She smiles.

"And to make it better…"

I grab the pocket knife from the basket.

"Evan?"

I cut the tip of my index finger finger and hold it to the opening of the heart-shaped jewel.

"What are you doing?"

My blood fills inside of the jewel and I put pressure around the cut until it fills to the top. I insert the small plug to keep it safe from pouring out, wrap my index finger into a bandage, and hold the necklace up to her.

"I want you to wear it. To always have a piece of me with you."

She stares at the necklace, and to my own surprise, a golden glow begins to shine through some of the red, a small light. Essence gazes at the jewel.

"It's…It's beautiful."

She stands and I place the necklace over her head. The jewel rests perfectly atop her chest glowing against her skin.

"Don't ever feel as though you only lose people. Know that you will always have me."