Evanescent (13 page)

I clear my throat.

Just hearing those words makes me think of
those kids down in the Celestra tunnels. I’ve seen their long
faces, their hollow eyes that let you know they miss living—that
they’ve already died on the inside.

Laken freezes like she’s having a
seizure—probably envisioning Flynn getting his ass kicked by the
new chick. Little does she know he’d enjoy it—
pay
for it if
he could.

“Hey”—I change the subject—“tonight you
mentioned something about hanging out with Carter at the
party.”

Her mouth opens as she glances past my
shoulder.

“Did I say Carter?” Her lids rise
unnaturally. “I meant Fallon.”

“Fallon.” I give a quick nod. “That’s
probably what you said. I was just too pissed at Coop to notice.” I
lead her toward the stairwell on the way to my bedroom.

Why do I get the feeling I’ve just been lied
to?

I wish I could care right now whether or not
Laken was being honest with me, but I’m so tired of waiting for her
to come around. That damn fall from the tree house really messed
her up, and now my dick and I are left to our own devices as far as
alleviating duties are concerned. Although I’d better wait until
her memory is fully restored because, with my luck, she’ll wake up
one day and realize she’s been sleeping with someone she considers
a brother. She’ll probably never speak to me again. And I can count
three times tonight her memory has cut out like a bad engine.

Laken and I step into my room, and I wedge
the door with a chair in the event Fletch decides to crash our
private party. The last time he caught me with his little sister,
he turned me into a bruise from the waist down.

“So what are we going to do?” She hops on my
bed and bites down a seductive smile. Her ponytail glides from her
shoulder like a golden waterfall. “You said you wanted to show me
something.” Her gaze falls to my jeans then rides back up
again.

“You’re a naughty girl, you know that,
Laken?” I pull off my jacket and slip in next to her.

“Is that something you should say about the
girl you’re going to spend the rest of your life with?” It comes
from her lips soft, not one ounce of sarcasm to back it as an
off-handed remark.

“Most definitely not.” I pull her fingers to
my lips and kiss them one by one. Spending the rest of my life with
Laken would be an honor I’d die to achieve.

“On second thought,” she purrs, “I can be
the naughty one in this relationship—in fact, I volunteer.” A
wicked gleam flickers in her eyes and sends my body perking to
attention in all the right places.

“Mmm, maybe not tonight.” I adjust the
hard-on in my jeans. “Laken.” I bury my face in her neck a moment.
“You seem willing.” I shake my head. “But I’m not one hundred
percent sure you’re fully back.”

“I’m fine. I’m remembering everything.” Her
eyes round out with desperation as if she’s overeager to please
me.

“I can’t do it.” I swallow hard. Everything
in me is screaming we should. “I can’t take advantage of you. I
won’t let it happen—but I did want to show you something.” I reach
back on my nightstand and pull out a notebook.

“What’s this?” Laken twists into me to get a
better look.

“I’m thinking about getting a tattoo.” I
hold back a smile as she settles herself next to me. Her creamy
thigh glides over my jeans, and I swallow down a groan.

“A tattoo?” A trembling laugh escapes her.
“You’re hardly the type. Let me guess, you want Asterion’s ugly mug
emblazoned on your back. You’re that dedicated to this school, I
can tell.” She gives a vixen-like grin.

“Wrong. I’m that dedicated to
you
.” I
tap her nose with my finger.

“Me? Oh, please don’t tell me you’re going
to ink my face across your body. I swear I’ll never speak to you
again. Besides, that’s going to be creepy when we’re finally
together. The last thing I want to do is make out with myself while
kissing your chest.”

“You’d kiss my chest?” I stroke a finger
along her jawline.

“Yes.” She scratches at my stomach. “I will.
I plan on living a long, happy life with you, Wes.” She looks down
at the comforter, saddened by her words as if she didn’t mean them
at all.

I glide my hand around the back of her neck
and listen in a moment, hoping to get the details on why she just
went from ecstatic to cliffside plunge in under five seconds.

I hear the words
Cider Plains,
and
old Wes
thumping through her mind, and I know exactly where
she’s at. She’s right back in Kansas, with a version of me she
insists existed.

“Laken.” I expel her name with a sigh.

“Sounds like I’ve disappointed you.” She
presses her lips together. “What’s in the book?”

“Hey—” I pick up her chin with my finger.
“You could never disappoint me. You do nothing but please me, I
swear.” Mostly on a nightly basis in my dreams but that’s another
story. “This is what I wanted to show you.” I open the lined
journal to a page with a sketch of her name written out in
elaborate scrollwork.

“Wesley,” she whispers, mesmerized by seeing
her name laid out in such a grand manner. “Is that what you’re
thinking for the tattoo?” She searches me with those unknowably
pale eyes as if she were frightened for me.

“Yes. I want to. I am. There’s not a thing
you can do to stop me,” I tease. “I’m having it done during
Christmas break. I found this guy. He’s supposed to be the best.
You can come with me and hold my hand if you want. In fact, I’m
begging you to. I’m sort of a wimp when it comes to pain.” I hike
my cheek up one side. “True story.”

“
Wes
. Of course I’ll come with you.
I’m totally flattered you’d do something like this, but really you
don’t have to. I’m right here, and you’ll always have me.” Her
brows knit, and this time I could swear she’s about to cry.

“Whoa, what’s going on?” I toss the notebook
to the ground and scoop her into my arms.

Her eyes well up with tears, and she gives a
hard sniffle into my neck.

“Nothing,” she whispers, as she starts to
cry. “It’s just, I want things to be like this forever.” She buries
her face in my chest with her warm tears dampening my shirt.

I glide my hands up the back of her sweater
and blow out a breath. Shit. I wish to God I knew how to fix this.
Why would there be tears if we already have everything we
want—namely each other?

God, I miss you, Wes, and I don’t give a
damn if you hear me.

Hear me?

“I miss this.” She looks up at me. “I miss
touching you.”

My stomach lurches.

For a second I thought she knew I could read
her mind, and the idea set off the panic button. If Laken knew,
she’d hate me for the sheer dishonesty. If we’re supposedly this
close—practically ordained as husband and wife, then she should
share all my secrets.

“I’m right here Laken. What do you miss?” I
press my lips against hers.

“I’m tired of you waiting for me to get my
memory back.” She blinks away the tears, her eyes as red as
bloodstains. “I think maybe…” Her hand slides down my chest and
crests over the growing bulge in my jeans. “Maybe if we were
together—if we shared
everything,
then I could truly come
back to you.”

I take a deep breath and consider this. I’m
ready to cave. I’m ready to give Laken whatever the hell it takes
to get her mind back in shape—the memory of who she was, her
family—I want to give it all back to her. I’m just not sure the
portal to all that knowledge is locked in my pants.

“You really think that’s going to make a
difference?” I ask, staring off into the ceiling as if the answers
were scrawled out up there, and all I had to do was connect the
dots.

Laken slips her hand into the lip of my
jeans, her fingers graze me in places I’ve dreamed of, wished
for.

“I’m positive, Wes. It’s like there’s this
secret between us, and it’s creating a hurdle for me to feel as
close to you as I’d like. It must be that—the two of us finally
being together. What else could it possibly be? I mean you don’t
have any secrets from me, do you?” She twirls the hairs just below
my belly in a dizzying circle, and I close my eyes a moment.

“Laken, you’re going to start something I
know we’re not ready to finish.”

Secrets. A dry laugh pulses through me. Only
a sweet girl like Laken would think of sex as a secret.

On some level she’s sensing that something’s
wrong. She’s a Count, and according to her genetics, a damn strong
one. She’s picking up on the fact I’ve got all this Celestra juice
flooding my veins, and she doesn’t know what to classify it as.
God,
what if she senses Skyla on me and thinks I’ve been
cheating?

“You know I would never cheat on you.” It
pops from my lips out of the blue.

Shit—exactly what every guilty boyfriend
says.

“What I mean is,” I pause in the event I
feel the need to bury myself further, “I would never even think of
another girl or want one. You’re
it
for me, Laken. Hand to
God, you’re all I’ll ever need. I was serious as death when I took
that oath the other night, and I’m equally as serious about getting
your name indelibly marked over my skin. I want to have a piece of
you near me at all times. You’re all I ever think about from
eyelids open until I fall asleep, and then I’m lucky enough to have
you greet me in my dreams.”

Her smile expands, and she warms the room
with it.

“You dream of me?” There’s a twinkle in her
eyes as if she’s picking up on the unchaste nature.

“Damn straight,” I say, lowering my lips to
hers. “And someday, each one of those deranged fantasies is going
to come to life.”

She tips her head back and belts out a
laugh.

“Then take me now, and make me yours.” Her
eyes fills with sorrow again as if the very thought had the power
to scrub the joy from her soul.

I dig my fingers into her hair and comb
through it, soft as silk.

“You said you wanted our first time to be
special, that you wanted to wake up next to me in the morning and
do it all over again.” I’m starting to resent the fact I have a
strong memory. A little forgetfulness would have had the power to
cure this gnawing ache in my gut, not to mention give some much
needed attention to the parts of my anatomy that crave it most.

“I was lying.” She flat lines.

“Very funny,” I say, pulling her in until
our stomachs touch. “Besides, you’re right. I do have a secret.” An
entire boulder feels as if it’s lifted from my chest. “I want to
share it with you more than anything. It’s a big one, and I need to
know that you won’t say anything.”

“I won’t.” She gets up on her elbow, eager
to hear whatever I’m about to tell her.

“It’s not something I can tell you. I’d
rather show you. It’s something I do and I’m afraid if I try to
explain it with words it’s going to sound a whole lot worse than it
actually is.” I take a breath and hold it because I know damn well
the odds of it looking as bad as it sounds are close to one
hundred. But maybe if she comes to understand the need for it—if
she understands why we have to oust Celestra, deplete them of their
physical strength, maybe then she’ll see it’s for the greater
cause. In reality, all we’re doing is reducing them to human.
Nothing wrong with that, since ninety percent of the population
functions just fine that way.

“I’m going to love you no matter what it is
you’re doing,” she whispers, her eyes still dewy from tears. “I’m
sure it’s not bad because you’re not a bad person. And if it sounds
bad, then I’d rather see it. Whatever this is, I think it’s
important we hurdle it together. We can make it through anything,
Wes. I know we can.”

I wrap my arms around her and seal my lips
over hers.

Laken thinks we can conquer just about
anything together.

I hope to God she’s right.

I hope to God that Celestra doesn’t ruin
anything between Laken and me just like they’ve managed to screw up
the entire universe.

And if they do, all the more reason to wipe
the bastards off the face of the earth.

But Laken and I will persevere, and so will
the Counts.

Laken