Ever After (14 page)

“I’ll take my chances,” Denny said. “You need help. And you obviously are not going to seek help on your own. So, I’m going to do what I need to do.”

“Fine,” Paul said. “You’ll get what’s coming to you. Just watch and wait. You have zero proof of anything, anyhow, so whatever you tell the authorities will go exactly nowhere.”

I held my breath. What the bastard just now said to his brother might, just might, be the key that I was looking for. His words echoed in my head.
You have zero proof of anything, anyhow, so whatever you tell the authorities will go exactly nowhere.

Before I undertook this entire scenario, I did extensive research on whether or not the actual recordings that I would be picking up could be used for anything at all regarding law enforcement. I knew that they could never be used against him in court. Unfortunately, I also did the research and found that it would always constitute an unreasonable search and seizure, so it couldn’t be used as probable cause to re-arrest him either.

I knew this. Did he?

“Be that as it may,” Denny said, “I just can’t stand by and let you get away with this. My god, you’re a monster. You’re a sociopathic, dangerous man, and you do not need to be walking around free.”

“Well, you’re not going to get anywhere. So, go ahead. You have no proof of anything. Nobody will touch this case.”

And I heard the door slam, as Denny apparently left without saying a word.

“Goddamn it!” I heard the scum yell. “Goddamn it!”

I sat in silence in the closet, listening to the pervert yell obscenities. He might have been as cool as a cucumber as he saw his brother go out the door, but the way that he was reacting after he left told me that he was far from equanimity.

I got a text from Ryan. “Okay, get out there. He has a gun in his hand, so if you surprise him, you can grab it from him. Then you can use it for protection if it gets out of hand. He looks like he’s about to blow a gasket. He might be in the right mental state to do exactly what you want him to.”

I nodded my head as I read the text. Ryan was an excellent judge of body language and other giveaways on how people are feeling. If he said that the pervert was about to blow a gasket, then I had to believe him. He might even be spinning into some kind of psychotic episode, which would really work to my advantage.

I heard mumbling outside, and could make out what he was saying. “Denny wouldn’t do this to me. Would he?” And then I heard him saying “Stop it. Shut up! He won’t do it. Shut the fuck up!”

Who was he talking to?

Text from Ryan. “The man’s a schizophrenic. I recognize the tics anywhere. He’s hearing voices.”

Ryan’s mother was a schizophrenic, so he would know the signs. I tried, very hard, to hear everything that the bastard was saying, but I couldn’t.

I texted Ryan. “What is he saying? Is he still talking to himself?”

“He’s not talking to himself. He’s talking to the voices in his head.”

The voices in his head.

Another text. “He’s saying that Scotty seduced him, and he can’t understand why she would do this to him. And he keeps saying that he wants the voices to leave him alone. This changes everything. He’s paranoid. He’s talking to the voice, warning the voice that it better not go and see the authorities about him. This changes everything. Stay there, I need to instruct you on how to approach this.”

I took a deep breath again. As much as I wanted to get out there, Ryan had much more experience with this type of thing than I did, and he knew much more about schizophrenics than I ever could. He had done extensive research on the illness when he found out that his mother was suffering from it.

I waited patiently for Ryan to text back. Which he did after a few minutes. “Okay, here’s what you do. You go out there, but you sneak out there. I don’t think that the man is in reality right now, the way that he’s pacing and talking to nobody in particular. He appears to be at the height of paranoia. Get the gun away from him, which you can easily do if you use the element of surprise. But be careful. Then you tell him about the entire confession to his brother being recorded. You tell him that you’re going to go the police with the recording, and he’s going to prison for life. Like we talked about. It will work because of the state of mind that he’s in right now.”

It will work because of the state of mind that he’s in right now.

Yes, I was bluffing. I knew that the recording would go nowhere, and would surely get me into hot water for doing it. But, the way that Ryan was thinking, the pervert appeared to be in the right frame of mind to believe that he actually would go to prison if he knew that I recorded him.

I looked down at my phone, and saw that Ryan had sent me the video that had the bastard confessing to his brother. “Show him this.”

Okay, Ryan, here I go.
“Going out there,” I texted back.

“Go.”

I listened for where he was in the apartment, then stealthily opened the door and peeked out. Just as Ryan had said, he was pacing back and forth manically, his gun in his hand. Then I saw him sit down on the couch, his head in his hands. “Shit. Shit. Shit. Why did I tell him? This is your fault. Your fault. You told me to tell him. You told me that he wouldn’t tell anybody. You promised. Now what am I going to do?”

I crouched down on my haunches, and then sprang forward forcefully.

I managed to get the asshole down on the ground, but not before the gun went off.

Chapter 17

Scotty

Dr. Ringold apparently called Jack, because he appeared at my door while I was sitting there watching some television. Appropriately enough, it was a
Dr. Phil
show about the fear of abandonment, and the guest was talking about how she was driving away the men in her life because she was too clingy.

I looked up, and there he was. He had an enormous Hello! Kitty in his arms. He smiled broadly. “Scotch Marie, you drama queen,” he tut-tutted. “You’ll just do anything to get me away from my Burberry Boy for the night, won’t you?”

I clicked the television off, and spread my arms wide. “Oh, Jack, come here,” I said, as he bent down to hug me and put the Hello! Kitty stuffed animal on the bed next to me. “What a cute stuffed Hello! Kitty,” I said. “That’s very thoughtful.”

Jack took a seat on the chair next to me. “Scotty, I’m going to be serious here,” he said. “I’ve never known you to do something like this. What on god’s green earth made you do this?”

I sighed mightily. “Oh, Jack, I lost my shit. I lost it. I lost it, and now Nick apparently wants nothing more to do with me.”

He took my hand. “What do you mean, love? What made you lose it? I mean, I saw your tormenter on TV doing the perp walk. Everyone’s talking about it. I thought for sure you’d be happy. But you could’ve knocked me on my candy-ass with a feather when I got the call from your doctor.”

“I don’t want to go into it, Jack. I think that it’s been brewing for a long time, really. I’ve really been on the edge since I got off that damned island and then with the miscarriage. I know that I don’t always show it, but I really have been feeling like a powder keg that is ready to blow. And, well, I blew.”

He sat back on his chair and looked like he needed a cocktail. “Well, what was the spark?”

“It’s really embarrassing,” I said. “I mean, I think that I’ve had the chance to think things through, and my therapist told me that I was catastrophizing, which I really was.”

“Speak English, love,” he said. “Not shrink-speak.”

“Catastrophizing. It means that I was imagining that the situation was much worse than it actually was. Or, so it seems. My mind went to the worse-case scenario, and I immediately thought that was going to be my fate.”

“And what, pray tell, is the worse-case scenario here?”

I bit my lower lip and looked away. “That my career was over.” And then I explained what happened with the phone call from the anonymous person, and what I feared would happen when the scumbag started to spread lies about me.

Jack listened intently. Ever the voice of reason, he said “Scotty, I love you. But did you ever think that, you know, people might actually believe your story and make him the pariah? I mean, really, his clients can just find another financier to fund them. Trust me, there are plenty of sharks out there who would be more than willing to step into the void.”

I scratched my head. “I don’t know, Jack. Nick seemed to think that Mr. Lucas was going to exercise his considerable power to blackball me. He would know.”

Jack shook his head. “Oh, lord. What a predicament this is. Makes you think that if you got enough money you can do anything at all.”

I looked at Jack and noticed that there was something amiss with him. I knew him well enough by that time that I knew when he was hiding something, and I knew that he was doing exactly that. “What is it, Jack?” I asked him, seeing that he had averted his eyes from mine, and he wasn’t smiling. He was also fidgeting a little bit, as he crossed and uncrossed his legs.

“Oh, Scotty, I didn’t want to say anything to you. But I know that you’re going to find out anyhow. The charges were dropped against that pervert.”

The words that he spoke hit me like a ton of bricks. I wondered how that was even possible, but, then again, I would imagine that he used his wealth and power to get out of the charges.

I felt the tears coming again, but I willed them away. I had told myself that I had to stop crying over that man. He wasn’t worth the salt in my tears, as the song went. I had already shed too many of these tears as it was. But, I couldn’t help it. I put my fist on my forehead, and I felt the hot wet drops on my bandaged wrist.

Jack put his hand on my shoulder. “Scotch, are you going be okay?”

I shook my head and said nothing. “Oh, god, I knew it. I knew that I would be the only person who was going to suffer, and I was right. I was right, Jack. This is never going to end. He’ll never get what’s coming to him, will he?”

Jack said nothing, but he put my head on his shoulder and let me cry it out. He stroked my hair. “Scotty, honey, I wish I knew what to say.” For once, he didn’t have a smart remark. “And, I almost hate to ask you this question. But where is Nick?”

I crossed my arms. “I wish to hell that I knew.” I felt my blood pressure rising. “All I know is that I sent about ten million text messages to him and left twenty million voice
mails, but I’ve heard nothing from him at all since the night I was brought in here.”

“What?” Jack said, looking completely startled by this news. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Well, I’ve been sitting here trying so hard not to catastrophize about it.” I had a new word, and I was going to use it. “It’s hard, Jack, it’s hard. But I’ve been practicing my cognitive behavioral techniques that my therapists have been teaching me. So, I’ve been thinking nothing but positive thoughts. At least, I’ve been trying. But I’ve had so many dark thoughts, too, Jack.
Every time I think a dark thought, I replace it with a good one, and it’s sorta working. I’m starting to come out of my depression, little by little.”

“Okay Scotty, that’s wonderful,” he said, but the look on his face said that he thought that I was spouting psychobabble. Which I kinda was. I was speaking rather fluent psychobabble these days. “But back up, girl. Where is loverboy?”

“Jack, your guess is as good as mine. I think that he’s finally had enough of me. As I knew that he would.”

“Is that what you mean by catastrophize? Thinking the worse-case scenario is about to come true?”

“Yes, and that’s what I’m struggling with right now. Because I really don’t know. But my mind keeps going there, again and again. I seem to have these dark thoughts that Nick has had it with me. He knew that I was fragile. He knew that I had issues. He even knew that I had contemplated suicide, and, if you can recall, he threatened to leave me over that. But he never has known me to actually attempt suicide. I’m quite sure that he’s scared to death right about now, and I keep thinking that this is it. I’ve lost him, and I’ve lost my career at the same time.”

“Okay, now Scotty, you have to stop this. Tell me about that stuff you were talking about before,” he said with a wave of his hand. “What did you call it again?”

“Cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s the theory that you can change your brain pathways by changing your thoughts. When you have irrational thoughts you’re trained to replace them with rational ones. And, believe me, Jack, it’s been beyond difficult to replace my bad thoughts with good ones.”

“Well, good lord. That doesn’t sound like a treatment so much as it does some kind of clichéd book title. Like
The Secret.
Keep thinking happy-clappy thoughts and you’ll feel so much better.”

“Thanks a lot, Jack. Thanks a lot.” I crossed my arms and gave him a dirty look.

“Well, Scotty, honey, you have to face reality here. It’s not such good news that Nick just up and disappeared like that. Not that I know what got into that beautiful head of his, but something obviously did. I just, you know, think that you should be prepared.” He kind of grimaced when he said that and looked at me with his
poor Scotty
look.

I sat there staring at him. My heart sunk as I read his thoughts. Jack was pretty much telling me that I wasn’t crazy for thinking that Nick was gone for good. “Jack, please. I need you to tell me that he’s coming back. Please. If I lose him, I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Jack didn’t say anything at all, which spoke volumes. He looked at the wall for a second, and then trained his eyes back on me. “Scotty, let’s not go there right now. I brought some cards. You wanna play some hearts?”

“No, Jack, I don’t.” I felt irrationally angry at him. “You know, you could at least try to blow smoke up my ass about Nick. Even if you think that
              this is the end of the road for Nick and me, you can at least try to lie to me until I’m strong enough to take it. Which, I’m obviously not.”

“Scotty, I wish that I could lie to you. But you know that I’ve never lied before. I’m always brutally honest. And, in all honesty, even if Nick does come back, I’m not sure I’d want him if I were you.”

I blinked back my tears. “Why, Jack? Just because he won’t take my calls or messages when I’m in the hospital after slashing my wrists in his bathroom? A lot of men would do that. Maybe he’s just really freaked out by blood.”

“And now you’re making excuses,” he said. “Oh, god, Scotty, that’s the first stage of the relationship toilet.” He just shook his head. “Scotty, I’m sorry, honey. I love that boy as much as anybody else in the world. Except maybe you. But if he can’t stick by your side during something like this, you don’t need him. And I’ll always love you. You can count on me, Scotty, even if you can’t count on him.”

I stared at the now blank television screen. “I really thought…Oh, never mind. I really always thought that it was only a matter of time for us anyhow, to be absolutely honest with you. Did I have the fantasy of the happily ever after? Of course. But, I guess I’m heading for my first heartbreak after all.”

Jack put his hand on my forehead and smoothed away my hair. “I’ll help you get through this, Scotty. Trust me, I’m the world’s foremost expert on getting dumped. Looks like I’m going to have to clear my schedule for awhile. At any rate, I’ll pick up some Rocky Road on the way home and some really good chicky flicks. Funny chick flicks, not those serious ones you like. And you’re going to get through this.”

“Goddammit, Jack,” I said, suddenly feeling irrationally rageful. “Every problem in life cannot be fixed by Rocky Road ice cream and another showing of
When Harry Met Sally.
” I felt my face scrunch up in a frown. Then I looked at the television set again. “Just go, Jack. I really need to be alone right now.”

“Scotty,” he said.

“Go, please. And take this damned cat with you.”

“Scotty, you can’t get rid of me. I mean, I’ll go now, because I know that you probably need some time alone right now. But I’ll always be by your side, little one. Always. We’ve gone through plenty of crises together over the years, and we’ll weather this one, too. It just sucks that it had to happen right when you’re most vulnerable, but, then again, there’s never a good time for a break-up.”

“Okay, whatever,” I said, and I pointed at the door. “Now, go. Leave me alone.”

Jack stood up and picked up the Hello! Kitty stuffed animal, and put his hand on my forehead. “Scotty, I’ll be back later. Maybe tomorrow. But I’ll be back. Because I have the feeling that you’re going to be needing to talk to me soon.”

“Whatever,” I said.

“Don’t kill the messenger, okay? It’s not me your mad at, it’s him.”

“No, Jack, it’s you. Now please leave.”

At that, Jack screwed up his face into a smirk and turned around and left.

As soon as he left, I actually put my thumb in my mouth and stared at the table next to my bed.

I think that I hit a new low.