Ever After (19 page)

Chapter 24

Scotty

The next day, after I reluctantly agreed to come home with Nick, if only for the sake of Aaron, I had to go back to work. To say that I was dreading that would be a total understatement. I hadn’t been at work the prior Thursday and Friday, of course, as I was in the hospital. I didn’t think that anybody would necessarily know why I was in the hospital, just that I was. Nick had called the partners to explain that I had an accident, and left it at that.

I needn’t have worried. I now had an office, as I was moving up on the intern hierarchy, and, when I went into my office, there were bouquets of flowers and balloons that said “Get Well.” I smiled, especially when I saw a little bouquet that was in a pot that was shaped like a happy face. There was a card that was signed by all of the partners, and another one that was signed by the associates and one more that was signed by the interns. It all felt very welcoming, and I was more than surprised, because I didn’t receive this much of a welcome when I came back to work after breaking my leg. But, then again, I wasn’t full-time then, and at that time, I still was pretty low on the intern totem pole. I had found that, since I was putting in more full-time hours at the firm, I was getting more perks. Such as getting my own office, as modest as it was. More projects that were varied and interesting. There was even a move, which had been planned from the start, for me to be a part of Nick’s design team on the Chase project, which was more than exciting.

Of course, with all these new perks came the inevitable backlash from the jealous other interns. Not that I was the only one of the interns who was advancing rapidly. I wasn’t, of course. But there were some who weren’t getting ahead as quickly as I was, and I knew that there was talk that I only was getting ahead of them because of my relationship with Nick. Robin, the girl who was so kind to me that one day when she did my Cinderella makeover for the firm Christmas Party, was surprisingly the one who kept it all in check. It was surprising, because, as the office gossip, she usually was the one who led the charge when it came to rumors and innuendo. But she shut down any talk of my currying favor from the boss, so I was grateful to her.

“Well, Scotty, it’s because I have such a girl crush on you,” she had said, perhaps teasingly, perhaps not. “And banging Nick O’Hara. Whoa, Nelly. Don’t know how you managed that, but kudos to you bagging that beautiful hunk. You’re kinda my idol.”

I smiled and blushed. She was terribly fawning, still, but harmless. And, if anything, she was valuable to me, because I was able to climb the ladder without too much back-biting and undermining.

So, when I went to the office and saw all the welcoming messages and good wishes, and the intern secretary came into the office with my projects for the day and my agenda, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. It seemed that nothing had happened. That Mr. Lucas had not, thus far, surfaced to tell the partners ugly tales. And neither did that horrible lackey who called me horrendous names and threatened me. I really couldn’t believe my luck, but, at the same time, I held my breath. The shoe was going to drop, I knew it. It was just a matter of time before that awful spider spun his web and caught me in it.

It was still a dark cloud hanging over my head. A Sword of Damocles. Every time I saw that a partner was calling me on the phone, I held my breath.
Here it comes.
But, no, they would either be calling me to see how I was feeling, or they would be calling me for the usual reasons. Could I put a rush on the design plans for the Hamptons mansion? How close was I to calculating the ratios on the Exxon annex? And other questions about some of the projects I was working on.

But, still, I held my breath. And wondered. When would he strike? Was he toying with me? Was he trying to give me a false sense of security? I felt like this was all a game for him. Have the lackey call and threaten me, and then not do anything right away. That way, I had to go through my day feeling anxious and with a sense of foreboding. I couldn’t relax, and I had a hard time concentrating. My heart was pounding with pure anxiety the entire day.

Of course, it didn’t help that Nick was around. His eyes followed me whenever I would run into him in the hallway or in the break room or wherever. It was very uncomfortable and discomfiting. I studiously ignored him, and, of course, Robin noticed. As she always did.

She came into my office right about five, when I was getting ready to knock off. I had to go and get Aaron from the day care, because Nick was going to be working all night, basically, because he behind on a lot of his projects. Apparently he didn’t show up to work on Thursday or Friday, either, which astounded me. And really angered me, too. He wasn’t at work? Did he even teach his Thursday class? He wasn’t at work, and he wasn’t with me. So, where the hell was he?

I brooded about that, as I packed up to go home. Then Robin popped into the office.

“Hey, Scotty, how’s it going? I heard you had an accident at home. I wanted to know if there was anything I could do for you?”

I looked down at my sleeves, which hid my bandaged wrists. I wondered, secretly, if Robin had noticed the tiny peek of the gauze that was poking out, oh so subtly, from the tip of the sleeve. If she did, I presumed that she might spread the word that I really was out with a suicide attempt. Maybe. Then again, the girl had clearly been in my corner ever since the Cinderella makeover night, so perhaps I wasn’t giving her enough credit. She would have definitely gossiped about anybody else attempting suicide, but she probably wouldn’t do the same to me.

“Oh, thanks, Robin,” I said, gesturing to the chair. She sat down. “But I’m doing okay. I just was really clumsy and hit my head in the shower, so I was out with a concussion. But I feel much better today. Thanks for asking.”

She nodded, and played with the crystal dolphin paper weight, which was a gift from the firm when I first got my office. “Um, how are you and Nick?” she asked.

“Fine. Why?”

“Nothing. I just kinda noticed that you were ignoring him today. I was wondering if everything was okay between the two of you.”

I looked at her. I wanted to confide in her. I really did. She was always so nice to me, and I was starting to trust that what I told her would be in confidence. But telling her what was wrong between Nick and I would involve me telling her about the suicide attempt, and that was just something that I never, ever wanted to reveal to anybody who didn’t already know about it. The firm must never get the opportunity to know that they had hired a basket case. It was bad enough that I had to
insist that I couldn’t work past five, because I had a therapist appointment, usually, every evening after work. The top partners, who were clearly Nick’s allies - including George, Peter, Roger and, of course, Fred - knew the reason why I had to leave early every day, and they were sympathetic. They went to bat for me whenever somebody would complain that I wasn’t putting in longer hours, explaining that I was so efficient during the hours that I was there that working late wasn’t necessary. The bitching still went on, of course, but when George, Peter, Roger and Fred told them to lay off, that was exactly what they did.

So, they were understanding of the therapist thing. But the suicide attempt? That would probably be a bridge too far. They might think that I was completely unbalanced, and, of course, I could never explain to them, or anybody, exactly why I attempted suicide. That would open up that part of my life to everybody, and I simply wasn’t ready for anybody to know about that. Anybody who wasn’t named Nick O’Hara and Jack Donaldson, that is.

So, I decided to lie to Robin. “No, Nick and I are okay. We just decided to try to play down our relationship for the time being. Too many gossipy interns. Present company excepted, of course.”

She smiled. “Of course. You know that I never talk shit about you, Scotty. And I never will.”

I smiled back. Robin did have a serious girl-crush on me, that was clear. I assumed that it wasn’t quite a regular crush, though, as she was exclusively dating Jan, the Dutch intern who she ended up with the night of the Christmas party. I was really happy for her, as she seemed over the moon about him.

“Well,” I said, picking up my briefcase and looking at my watch. “I have to go. I have to pick up my little brother at day care.”

It was then that I noticed that my sleeve was not quite covering the bandage on my wrist. When I looked at my watch, it uncovered it, and I saw Robin looking at the bandage with interest. She leaned back in her chair.

“Scotty,” she said. “If you ever need somebody to talk to, you know where to find me. I mean, I know that you have Jack to talk to, and Nick. But we all know that sometimes we girls need other girl friends to get through this crazy world.”

I felt my face blush crimson, as I understood that she knew about the suicide attempt. It was written all over her face. Which presented yet another Sword of Damocles. I assumed that she wouldn’t say anything, but what if she did? One more thing to worry about. Mr. Lucas directing the partners to fire me, and the partners finding out about my trying to off myself.

“Uh,” I said. “Let me call the nanny, Angeline, and see if she can watch Aaron. She usually does anyhow. Why don’t you and I get a drink?”

Robin’s entire face lit up at that suggestion. “That sounds great! I’ll go and get my coat. Wait right here for me.”

I groaned a little and called Angeline, who was just fine with picking up Aaron and watching him, of course. And then I messaged Nick about what I did, and he messaged back that he was okay with that as well.

Then Robin and I walked to the bar around the corner to have a drink.

Chapter 25

As we walked along the sidewalk towards the bar, I wondered how much to reveal about what had happened. Personally, I was dying to tell somebody about all of that. Somebody who wasn’t a shrink or Jack. As much as I loved Jack, sometimes I found him very judgmental and quick to assume things. And, to tell the truth, I was confused about Nick. I loved him so very much, and I really just wanted to forgive him for shutting me out. But I couldn’t.

I really hoped that I wasn’t making a mistake getting a drink with Robin so that I could talk about things and get an objective opinion. She knew Nick, of course, and I didn’t want to betray him at all. So, I figured that I would try to sugar coat it as much as I could when it came to his actions. But I did need to talk to Robin and see what she thought about Mr. Lucas. Whether she thought that I had reason to worry, or if maybe the whole thing was overblown in my head.

We had a seat, and ordered our drinks. The waitress came around with them shortly, as the bar wasn’t too crowded, this being a Monday. We clinked our glasses together in a “cheers,” and I sipped it apprehensively.

Robin was trying to make small talk, but I knew what she wanted to know. “Oh, god, did you happen to see what Kiernan was wearing today? Somebody should tell that boy to find a stylist.”

I smiled. Robin was very into the latest fashions and what people should look like. It used to bother me, but I had long since gotten used to it. “Maybe so,” I said, “but that boy is a rising star. But I agree, he should probably see about finding a personal shopper at Nordstrom’s or something.” Of course, I really didn’t feel that way, but I wanted to appease Robin. Personally, I thought he looked fine. He was an intern, for crying out loud! He was probably as broke as I was at one time.

She smiled, and sipped her wine. “Mmmm, very fruity. You should try this.”

I took a sip from her glass, while she found the waitress and asked her for two food menus. “I don’t know about you,” she said to me, “but I’m starving.”

“Me too,” I said. “You want to get some appetizers, or each of us get our own dinner plate?”

“Probably each get our own. I’m pretty much on salads these days. The boyfriend 15, you know.”

I smiled, as she was referring to the weight that people tend to gain when they’re in a new relationship and eating out all the time. It was a play on the term “freshman 15,” which, of course, referred to the extra weight gained in college when one is first experiencing the wonders of dorm food. I never went away to college, so I never experienced that weight gain.

“Don’t be silly, you look great,” I said, and she really did. She had put on a little bit of weight, but not all that noticeable.

“Right,” she said. “Well, tell that to my tailor. He just had to adjust everything I own to accommodate the extra flabaroni that has suddenly showed up on my derriere and love handles. Ugh.”

I shook my head. “You’re fine,” I said, honestly.

“Well, that’s very nice of you to say,” she said.

We ordered our food. I actually was starving, as I wasn’t able to think about food that entire day. It wasn’t just that I was swamped, which I was. But also because just thinking and worrying about Mr. Lucas surfacing at any moment made me feel ill. Now that I was away from that office, the butterflies in my stomach started to calm just a little, so I realized that I was famished.

As we waited for our food, Robin was uncharacteristically silent. I think that she was waiting for me to broach the topic of my bandaged wrists.

I finally, after taking a few more sips of wine, decided to take a deep breath and tell her. “Um, Robin. I think that you probably know by now that I didn’t really hit my head in the shower.”

“Oh?” she said, trying to act surprised. “What do you mean?”

I took some sips of wine. “There’s something that not too many people know about me. And it’s causing a lot of anxiety in my life.”

She nodded her head, urging me to go on.

“Well, I, uh…you remember when I broke my leg?”

“Of course,” she said. “I felt so bad. I tried to see you at the hospital, but you had already been checked out. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t do more for you during that period of time.”

“No, it’s okay. Nick was phenomenal in helping me out. Well, I, uh, was…”

I grimaced, then reminded myself why I was going to spill my guts. I wanted her to give me her opinion on whether my fears about Mr. Lucas were justified or not.

She was looking at me expectantly, sipping her wine.

“Well, I was, uh, abducted from the hospital.”

Her face registered absolute shock and horror. “What? What do you mean?”

“There’s this man. This horrible, evil man. His name is Paul Lucas. He, uh, did bad things to me when I was 13 and living at his house. Well, he was listed as my legal guardian, so the hospital let him take me away from there. To ‘transfer me’ to another hospital. Only he didn’t transfer me. He took
me to his island retreat in St. Croix, and, he, uh, repeatedly raped me.”

At that point, Robin started shaking and breathing heavily. “Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Scotty, I don’t know what to say. That’s…horrible.”

“Yes,” I said. “Well, I’ve been in therapy so I’m starting to learn how to cope with that. Anyhow. This is a guy who’s very powerful and wealthy. But I was determined to take him down. So, I gave my statement to the police, and…”

Robin gave me a look of recognition. “Wait. I saw him on television about a million times. When you said ‘Paul Lucas’ it didn’t register, but then I suddenly realized that he was the one who was on television being arrested at his office.”

“Right,” I said. “And, as you know, the charges were dropped.” At that point, I looked at my glass. Just saying the words that ‘the charges were dropped’ made me want to absolutely, positively, throw up. “The charges were dropped.”

She put her hand on my shoulder. “Scotty, I’m so sorry. Do you need a Kleenex? Here, I have one in my purse.”

I didn’t even realize that I had started crying. “Thanks, Robin. You’re so very kind.”

She nodded.

“Anyhow,” I said, blowing my nose. “Anyhow, I never even thought about the consequences of humiliating him like that. But the whole thing blew up in my face. Somebody called me, anonymously, and said that I was a whore who made the entire thing up, and that they were going to tell the partners about me and try to get them to fire me.”

She put her hand to her mouth. “Jesus, it just gets worse.”

“Yes,” I said. “I was upset by the phone call, but then Nick said that there was an angle to this whole situation that he had never considered. And that was that Paul could use his power and influence to blackball me. Because he has wealthy and well-connected clients, and those clients might threaten to pull out of our firm if Paul started spreading lies about me. And I realized that this would be something that he would do, and, well, I panicked.”

“I understand,” she said. “I’ll bet you did.”

“I panicked,” I continued, “and I did something really stupid.” And then I showed her the bandage on my wrist.

“Oh, Scotty. That’s so devastating. I’m so sorry.” She put her arm around me, and then gave me a big hug. To my surprise, the tears started to flow again, harder this time.

“Robin, I apologize. I’m getting your shirt all wet.”

“No,” she said. “That’s so not a problem.”

“Anyhow, I was wondering. Do you think that I have reason to worry about him? Do you think that he can destroy my career?”

She took a deep breath. “I don’t know this creep, unfortunately. Or should I say fortunately. But I will have to say this…”

I sipped my drink, and said “go on.”

“Getting on the wrong side of someone like that can be devastating. Especially if you’re a woman. I knew this girl, she was kind of in the same boat, but not really. Anyhow, she had an affair with this big wig venture capitalist. A very married venture capitalist with a very pregnant wife. Anyhow, she turned up pregnant too.”

“Oops,” I said. “So, what happened?”

“She went to his wife and told all. The wife told her that she was a whore, and, of course, the wife and the venture creep stayed together. Too much at stake for there to be a divorce. But that venture capitalist asshole ruined the mistress’ career. He did just what this Paul Lucas guy is threatening to do to
you. He used his power, money and influence to make sure that she never got a job anywhere.”

“What kind of a job was she doing?”

“She was a lawyer. For a large firm. One by one, clients started dropping out of the law firm where she worked, and going to other firms. Once her firm found out that this venture capitalist was behind those clients dropping out, her firm fired her. Then she found out that she was having problems finding another job, even though she was at the top of her class and was in great standing with her firm until all of that happened.”

My heart started to sink. Robin was confirming to me that my fears were justified.

“I almost hate to ask this question,” I said, “but where is she now?”

“Oh, god, Scotty, I don’t want you to think that this will be your fate too. I probably shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, please, go ahead. I need to know the truth about what I’m facing.”

“Well, she’s not working in her chosen field anymore. She went through a serious depression and attempted her own life. She got through that, but it took years. She finally went back to school and became a nurse on Long Island. She seems happy enough, but she has told me that she is still very bitter about not being able to practice law anymore.”

“Good god.” The parallels were disturbingly striking. “Well, I guess that answers my question.” I looked at the crowd blankly. “Let’s not talk about this anymore,” I said.

“Good idea,” she said. “I’m really sorry that this is happening to you, Scotty. I wish that there was something I could do.”

“Yeah,” I said. “But, there’s not.”

So, for the rest of the evening, we talked about things that were unrelated to my current crisis. I tried, very hard, to follow along with the conversation, but my mind kept going there…to my sure fate. The partners hadn’t said a word to me, but I could only assume that the monster was playing some kind of twisted psychological game with me. Just when I least expected it…I would be called into a meeting and the boom would be lowered.

I finally trudged home at around 9. Nick still hadn’t gotten home from work, I guessed, as Angeline was still there. “I put Aaron down just now,” she said.

“Oh, thanks, Angeline. I’m so sorry, I guess Nick isn’t home. Uh, I know that he gives you cash every day. Let me go upstairs and get into his drawer. I know that he usually keeps the money in there.”

“Thank you,” she said.

“Not a problem,” I said.

I went upstairs and went into his nightstand, where he kept his petty cash. And, by petty cash, I mean that he kept around $10,000 in hundreds and twenties. He used this money to pay not just Angeline but also the various other people that he would employ from time to time. He hired out maids, chefs sometimes, and even people to come and pick up his dry cleaning and take it in.

I counted out the money that I was to give to her, when I saw a piece of paper on the nightstand.

I read it, feeling guilty that I was invading his privacy. It said “sodium pentothal. Suppresses higher cognitive function. Removes inhibitions. Like large amounts of alcohol. Inhibits independent thoughts and actions.”

I screwed up my face. It was a cryptic message for sure.

I shook my head. My brain was hurting, as it was, about all that was going on in my life. I couldn’t think about why Nick would be trying to get information about truth serum.

And then I started catastrophizing. I tried to stop the negative thought that perhaps Nick didn’t believe me and my story about what Mr. Lucas did to me. That maybe he thought that I was the seducer after all, and he was going to try to get the truth out of me.

No, of course not. Don’t be silly.
But the thought nagged me just the same. Maybe that was why he turned his back on me? Perhaps he really didn’t believe me? If that was the case, he sure was a great actor.

I went back downstairs and gave Angeline the money. “Here, uh, thanks,” I said.

“Of course. Do you need me to watch him tomorrow?”

“Probably. Nick probably has his class to teach tomorrow, and I, uh, have my usual appointment.”

“Very good. I’ll pick him up from day care and bring him here as usual.”

“Thanks,” I said with a nod.

I went into my bedroom and shut the door. I tried to watch some television and tried to read a bit, too. But my mind kept going back to what I just read. Nick was going to give me a shot of truth serum to see if I was telling the truth. And, just like that, I realized that I really didn’t know him at all, if he would think, for one second, that I would lie about something like that.

And why wasn’t he at work on Thursday or Friday? He certainly wasn’t in the hospital with me. What the hell was he doing?

And, for that matter, why wasn’t he home right now? He had left some text messages for me saying that he was going to work until about midnight, because he was behind on some very important projects. Maybe that was all a lie, too. Maybe he was with some woman on Thursday and Friday.