Evermore (19 page)

"Lady Preston must have lost her mind..."
said another.

"...cannot summon a sneeze let alone a
spirit." That comment elicited a series of tinkling laughs from the
listeners.

"...malicious ghosts..."

"Evil follows her."

"Are you surprised? Her kind are bad
luck."

Celia's arm tightened on mine as she steered
me through the crowd. I felt their words as sharply as an elbow to
the ribs or a blow to the head. Indeed, I suddenly felt as though I
had been struck. The lights in the chandeliers above blurred, the
room swum, and the overwhelming scent of perfume made me dizzy.

"Air," I gasped. "Celia..." My knees buckled
and I swooned.

"Here, Miss Chambers, follow me." A man took
firm hold of my other arm and I was half-marched, half-carried
between he and Celia into another room. They settled me on a chair
in the corner and I realized I was in the refreshment room. Being
early, it was mercifully empty except for a handful of unfortunate
girls who felt as uncomfortable in the ballroom as I did. Yet even
they turned their backs and began whispering to each other behind
their hands. I suppose it is always a happy event to see someone
less fortunate that yourself.

"Emily, are you all right?" asked Celia,
sitting beside me. She held my hand so hard it was beginning to
tingle.

I nodded and squinted at the back of my
rescuer as he stood at the refreshment table. He was large with
thinning blond hair. I recognized him immediately.

"Thank you, Mr. Arbuthnot," I said when he
approached with two glasses of lemonade. I accepted one and Celia
took the other.

"That was very kind of you to help us," she
said. "Emily isn't used to balls, you see. Perhaps the lights, the
people..." Her excuses were unnecessary. We all knew the real
reason for my shock. I hated being the center of attention, but to
have so many people staring and talking about me at once was like
drowning in mud. I felt the weight of their opinions pressing down
on me, suffocating.

"Do you feel better, Miss Chambers?" he
asked, all politeness. He didn't mention the whispers and stares.
He was a true gentleman.

"Much better. Thank you." I felt a little
sheepish. I'd forgotten he would be at the ball. I hadn't seen
Theo's cousin for two weeks, not since the spirit of Mortlock had
possessed him then exited his body to enter George's. We'd never
told Wallace Arbuthnot what had happened, but I'd often wondered if
he remembered any of it, or if he guessed. George had eventually
recalled some events and I thought Wallace might too, but then
George was aware of the supernatural whereas Wallace was still in
the dark. Or so we assumed.

"You look better already," he said,
cheerfully. "I would offer to dance with you, but I've two left
feet. I'm afraid dancing with me is a fate most young ladies wish
to avoid."

The door to the balcony opened and a young
woman in an exquisite pale blue dress entered the refreshment room.
She checked her red curls were still pinned securely and adjusted
the gown at her breast so that it didn't reveal quite so much of
her luscious figure. With her head dipped, she hurried past us and
out of the room, but not before I saw her secretive smile. Celia
clicked her tongue and Wallace pretended he hadn't noticed, but I
was glad someone was enjoying themselves with their lover on the
balcony. Perhaps I could escape out there later.

"It's a shame you don't dance, Mr.
Arbuthnot," Celia said, picking up the thread of our conversation.
"However, it may be best if Emily avoided the activity altogether
too. Perhaps you could introduce her to some of your friends
instead. We know so few people here, you see."

I wanted to kick her. Her blatant bad manners
were so unlike her, although I suppose it was a testament to her
desperation. No doubt she would prefer Theo be the one to rescue
me, but since he wasn't there, she probably thought she should find
me a substitute marital prospect. I sighed and wished Mrs. Stanley
would interrupt my misery.

"I would be delighted to introduce you to my
friends," Wallace said, with no false enthusiasm that I could
detect. "But you know more people here than you think, Miss
Chambers. My cousin, Theodore Hyde, is around somewhere."

"Theo?" I shook my head. "No, he's with
George Culvert. They had an, uh, urgent errand to run."

Wallace's chins wobbled as he shook his head.
"You're mistaken, Miss Chambers. Theo is definitely here. We came
together. He wouldn't miss an occasion like this for the
world."

Theo was at the ball? The evening suddenly
didn't seem so awful.

"Ah, there he...oh." Wallace cleared his
throat and moved to block my view.

But I'd already seen Theo, and seen the
direction from which he'd come—the door leading out to the balcony.
The same door through which the redheaded girl had entered moments
before. It was clear to anyone who saw her that she'd had an
assignation with a lover and came in ahead of him to throw off
suspicion.

That lover was Theo.

CHAPTER 11

Celia gasped loudly and Theo stopped dead.
His eyes widened when he saw us and I could see the moment when he
realized we knew what he'd been doing out on the balcony. He seemed
to be caught between approaching us and running away.

I opened my mouth to say something, but
nothing came out. I was much too stunned to form coherent
sentences.

Celia gripped my hand and set down her glass
on the table beside her. She said nothing, but I could feel the
anger simmering inside her through our linked hands.

Wallace's cough shattered the uneasy silence.
"I, uh, have to go and..." He bowed to us then scuttled out of the
refreshment room.

To my great surprise, Theo didn't follow him.
I commended him for his bravery. I would not want to face Celia at
such a moment if I were in his shoes.

"May we have a few minutes?" he asked
her.

Celia's grip tightened. "You dare to—"

"Celia," I said sharply. "I'd like to speak
to Theo. Alone."

I thought she wouldn't leave, but finally she
rose. With a savage glare that was lost on Theo because he wasn't
looking at her but at me, she strode to the refreshment table, out
of earshot. I lifted both my eyebrows at her and she turned her
back and stood as rigid as a pole.

"Well," I said. "This is rather awkward."

"Emily..." Theo drew in a breath. "Hell."

"It is, isn't it? Perhaps you should sit
down. I find that helps when I'm feeling nauseous."

He sat in the seat Celia had vacated, eyeing
me carefully as if I were a bubble about to burst in his face.
"Emily, I'm so sorry." At least he had the decency not to proclaim
his innocence.

"Don't be. I'm not. Stunned, yes, but not
sorry."

He blinked rapidly. "Why not? Why aren't you
angry with me? I deserve it. God, how I deserve it."

"How can I be sorry when I don't love
you?"

"You don't?" He frowned. "But I thought...I
thought we had something special. I thought...that you loved me. I
certainly loved you."

The absurdity made me laugh. Celia glanced
over her shoulder at us. "Theo, how can you love me
considering...?" I waved my hand at the door leading out to the
balcony. "...considering that?"

"What Suzette and I share is not love, Emily.
That is...self-preservation."

"You're not making much sense."

He splayed his fingers across his knees and
studied them intently. "It comes down to the fact that I don't want
to be a lawyer."

"I see. Actually, no I don't. How does your
career have anything to do with me and her, Suzette?"

"I don't want to be a lawyer, a banker, or
any other occupation acceptable to a gentleman of no means."

"Then what do you want to be?"

"A country gentleman. Emily." He met my gaze
and I was struck by the raw emotions in his eyes. I hadn't expected
that. I'd expected lies and false flattery, but the rawness chipped
away at the wall I'd begun to build around myself the moment I saw
him enter from the balcony. "I want to return to Shropshire and my
home. My land. I want to nurture it back to the way it used to be
before my father let it fall into ruin. I want to farm the fields
again and live off the income. The estate could be profitable if
some capital were invested in it. I love that parcel of land. If
you could see it at this time of year, you would love it to."

"So you need to marry a woman with money to
invest."

He nodded. "The banks would not give Father a
loan, and unfortunately..." He spread his fingers again.
"Unfortunately your business isn't all that profitable right
now."

"That is quite the understatement," I
muttered. "Even if it were, I doubt it would be enough for your
needs."

He shook his head sadly. "Suzette is an
heiress to a considerable fortune. I met her recently and I will
ask her to marry me once I've secured her affections. I was going
to tell you tonight, but it seems I should have done it
earlier."

"I'll admit I would have preferred it. Celia
too. I think she's going to be more upset about this than I
am."

"Oh, Emily." He got down on his knees before
me. "I adore you. I will always have a place in my heart for you."
He reached for my hand but I withdrew it. I wasn't going to fall
for any more of his lies, if indeed that's what they were. He sat
back on the chair, his movements awkward and unsure.

"Do you love her, Theo? A lifetime is a long
time to be with someone you do not love." It was the same thing I'd
said to Celia earlier, but it was just as applicable.

"I like her very much. As to love..." He
shrugged. "That may come, if she'll have me."

"Does she know you have no money?"

He nodded. "I don’t want to trick her."

"Isn't pretending you love her a form of
trickery?"

"What marriage is based on love anyway? Who
can afford it except the very rich?"

He had me there. "Promise me something,
Theo."

"Anything." He leaned closer.

"Be good to her for the rest of your lives
together. Use her money wisely. Do not make her regret marrying
you. Do not make her ashamed to be your wife."

He sucked in his lower lip and nodded once.
He turned away and I waited as he composed himself. Finally, he
looked at me again. "I've been imagining this moment for a few
days. Dreading it. I admit that I expected some hysteria and
name-calling. This reasonable response is quite unexpected and
undeserved."

"Disappointed?"

"A little." He gave me a wry smile. "You
don't seem at all upset. Indeed, you seem to be more concerned for
Suzette than for yourself. You truly don't love me, do you?"

"I don't," I said quietly. "I care for you,
but as to love..." I shook my head.

"You love another? Beaufort?"

I inclined my head as tears welled. "It's not
an ideal match."

He spluttered a watery laugh. Through my
blurry vision, I could just make out the shine in his eyes. "Well.
I'm not entitled to claim an injury here, but I admit I feel
wounded. I thought I loved you." He wiped away an errant tear
before it reached his cheek. "I still do."

"You're right. You cannot claim an injury.
You do not love me, Theo. You cannot." I held my hand up as he
began to protest. "A man who truly loves a woman would do
everything in his power to be with her. He would want to marry her
despite poverty."

He barked a bitter, harsh laugh and I thought
he would storm off, offended. He did not. "Perhaps you're right. I
don't know. Instead of debating our feelings, let's promise to part
as friends."

We shook hands, but he did not let mine go
when I tried to leave. "Goodbye, Emily Chambers." He kissed my
knuckles. "And good luck."

I watched him walk away. He bowed to my
sister and she nodded back, her face so dark I thought she might
scold him right there. But she let him go and returned to me.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"Yes," I said on a sigh. "I'd be much better
if I could leave."

"Then we shall."

I blinked at her. "But don't you want me to
stay to meet a gentleman? Now that Theo is not available—"

"Emily." She faced me and gripped both my
shoulders. "My dearest, you need time to overcome this
disappointment."

"I am not all that disappointed. Truly. But I
don't want to be sifting through marriageable gentleman right now
either." I couldn't imagine I ever would, but I didn't tell my
sister that.

She patted my cheek. "I don't think you are
as unscathed by Mr. Hyde's actions as you think you are."

My throat tightened and I lowered my head so
she couldn't see my tears. I wanted to hug her and be held by her,
but we were in a public place and it wasn't the done thing.

"Oh, Emily."

"I don't love him," I said,
dashing the tears away. "But I
had
decided to make a life with him. I suppose that's
why I can't be angry at him for doing the same with that girl. He
doesn't love her, but he will be good to her, I know it. Just as I
would have been a good wife to him. I had settled it in my mind.
Celia, I meant what I said yesterday. Theo was going to be my
ticket out of my life as a medium. I don't want to perform
anymore."

"I know." She rubbed my damp cheek with her
thumb. "There will be other opportunities, Em, even if it means
considering options we had previously discounted. We'll discuss it
more at home. For now..." She nodded past my shoulder. "This room
is no longer very private."

"Let's see if Adelaide is free." We wove
through the crowds beginning to make their way into the refreshment
room. The musicians were resting and the dancers thirsty. I spotted
Adelaide across the room, talking to a footman. She saw us and
waved us over.