Authors: Sylvia Kelso
Healthy, he would have laughed and admitted defeat. As it was, he lay back and said in that strained whisper, “You cursed woman. You should have been a general. Thank the Four you're not.”
An hour later he had sent a mirror-signal for the Treasurer's inventory and was waving his tablets at me, saying, “Here, Harran, you're a wordsmith. Draft this.”
I asked, “What is it, lord?” And he tossed me the stylus. “Proclamation. All the Confederacy. Champions. Anyone who can stick the dragon, I'll give them... give them...”
“It's usual to offer a daughter,” I said flippantly, and then could have bitten off my tongue.
He did wince, but then it brought his first real laugh. “Better than that.” He held his ribs. “Offer themâMaerdrigg's maerian.”
I dropped the stylus. He said, “Heirloom, priceless, the luck of the house.” Shrugged, and winced again. “Everran comes first.”
He was still in great pain: the physician talked of extracting splinters when he was strong enough, but after three weeks not even Thassal could feed him yeldtar juice. “Saw it in Hazghend. A drug.” So I would play for him, in the night watches where I had now been promoted as nurse.
I still see that little stone wedge of room, the pallet bed overhung by a goose-feather mattress Stavan commandeered the Four know where, the rough iron door, the archer's slit full of frostily starlit black, the tiny lamp flame on his strained, haggard face. I would play the little, simple airs of Everran's work and play: songs for all seasons from every Resh, the folk catches that outlast lore. When that failed, we would talk. One learns a great deal, talking at night. Sellithar must have been the only subject on which we never spoke.
After seven days Hawge had flown north-east amid a wave of frantic orders for the border garrisons to shelter the people and let the dragon be, and was now dormant after feeding heavily on a tardy cattle herd in the Coesterne hills. The field at Coed Wrock had been salved. The king had already commissioned a cairn, but that no one had found Inyx's body was his deepest grief.
“He was right,” he said wistfully during another night conversation. “I shouldn't have tried it. I threw themâand himâaway.”
“I do not think so,” was the best I could do. When he spoke in that quiet remorse so utterly unakin to self-pity was when I pitied him most. “It had to be attempted. They would say the same.”
He shifted his head on the pillow. “All the same... I'd like to have begged his pardon. Told him he was right.”
“He,” I rejoined blandly, “would enjoy that.”
We both chuckled. Then it was time for another of the bed-ridden's indignities: the sponging, the bed-pan, the food you cannot cut for yourself. Coming back, I beat up the pillows, which as usual were everywhere, and asked, as usual, “Is that better, lord?”
He smiled rather wearily as he lay back. Then he looked up. Whatever wreckage lay under the bandages, his eyes remained beautiful: long-lashed, vivid green almonds, full of impish light.
“Beryx,” he said. “I can't expect to be âlord' when I ask you to do things like that.”
I murmured some demurral. He said, “That's an order,” and then began laughing. “Oh, Four! I mean, that's an orderâplease.” As he held his side, I thought, No wonder they died for you. If you command, you can also charm.
* * * * *
Like Thassal, Stavan had been invaluable: while I played Regent he wrought with Gerrar's household, materialized food and physic and sick-room furniture from thin air, excluded hysterical visitors, even managed to achieve quiet in the nearest streets. Later he provided for counselors, engineers, physicians, armorers, and all the king's other whimsies as well as me. When I asked why he stayed, he shrugged. “Nothing better to do.”
That next night I was supping in Gerrar's former record room when he came in to announce, “Someone wanting you.” With a mental groan I said, “Send him in,” and looked up at a ghost.
He was propped on crutches in the doorway, wearing leg bandages, a soldier's under-tunic, and something like a leather corset over it: squat, black, gnarled as an old hethel tree, his calling in his face.
Quite deranged, I said when my breath returned, “We did look for you. I swear it. I am sorry. If you only tell me where you lieâ”
At which he shot me a sharp black glance and growled, “For the Lords' sake uncross your eyes, harper. Pinch me if you like.”
“Crawled away,” he said, disposed in my chair. “After dark. Harper, spare us, don't cry in m'wine.” Stiffly, he flexed a leg. “That's just burns.”
Just
. “Tail hit me high. I've the father and mother of all belly-aches, and I spat blood for days, but I can get around in this.” He touched the leather strapping. “Farmer made it. Hauled me into bed when I crawled there. I've just broken out. How's the king?”
I told him. He nodded. Then, with a quick glance under his brows, “Heard what you did.”
“But not for you.” It still kept me awake. “I told the dragon, just one. I didn't dareâ”
“I didn't matter,” he spoke brusquely, meaning it. “What matters is him.”
* * * * *
“Lord,” I said as I opened the tower door, striving not to grin from ear to ear and spoil the surprise, “lord, look what I picked up.”
Inyx hopped past me. Beryx's head rocketed up. For one instant his face was all incredible, incredulous delight, he plunged up in bed, grabbed instinctively at his side, forgot it to throw out his armsâthen in a flash radiance became the most desperate grief.
“Don't you start,” Inyx growled. “Harper's already pinched me black and blue.”
Beryx stuttered. Choked. Choked again. Tried to wrench his back to us. Inyx's very shape changed. With a violent effort, Beryx faced round and lifted his head.
“No,” it came almost on a sob. “You old foolânot that!”
He got control of himself. Very clearly, looking Inyx full in the face, making it an indictment, an explanation, his utmost recompense, he said, “You were right.”
Inyx shoved away a cup-stand with a crutch and hopped over to the bed. “Lemme get off these things,” he grunted. “Stand over.”
Beryx moved his legs. Suddenly tears ran down his cheeks and as I closed the door I heard Inyx say in a voice I never believed could hold so much gentleness, “Si'sta... si'sta... That's a leader's price.”
Inyx eased life greatly: a close friend, a fellow soldier, competent with things Beryx would delegate to no one else, which slowed him down and mended him faster. Inyx could also curb Beryx's worst fantasias. If Inyx went, “Mphh!” instead of, “Ah,” the king would grin ruefully and drop the project, saving much wear and tear on messengers, Stavan, and assorted experts' self-esteem. Inyx also harmonized with Thassal, and to the physician's disgust thoroughly approved her doctoring, and he had tended enough campaign wounds to offer valid advice. But he was anxious to move the king.
“Too close,” he told me. “And kingdom's like soldiers. What they can't see they don't believe.” When Sarras, who gathered news as wool gathers burrs, told him that rumors of the king's death were already unsettling Tirs, he actually managed to tune Thassal and the physician on the need for an early splinter-probe.
Beryx wanted to go south first. Thassal told him sternly, “You can't act till you're moved. You can't move till they're out. If one worked down to an inner vein we could not stop you bleeding to death.” At that he yielded, and the physician set to work.
Afterward he looked worse than on the battlefield: flat on his back, so thin he barely raised the bedclothes, so white I thought he had already bled to death. Helping change the bandages, I saw the pits they had left, and understood why. However, he recovered quickly, and mended faster for it, sleeping better, putting on flesh. Presently Thassal left his head unbandaged, merely rubbing hethel oil into the scar.
When I first saw that it took my breath. As I stood in the door, fighting to school my face, he glanced up and showed me I had failed.
“No,” he said wryly, “I doubt they'll call me handsome again.”
The scar began where the corselet-collar had met his jaw line, caught the corner of his mouth and swept up past his nostril, mercifully missing the eye, then reached right back to his ear: a rag-edged triangular purple welt fit to terrorize a child. I felt ridiculous tears prickle, and hurriedly burlesqued a triumphant-hero march on my harp. Thank the Sky-lords, he laughed.
But a couple of nights later I found him trying to lift his right arm, immobilized till then to help the wound in his side. As I came in he glanced up with a small worried frown, saying, “Come and rub this for me, Harran. I can't make the fool thing move.”
The skin was icy, and the muscles had shrunk. Only natural, I told myself. But I told Thassal too, and next day came with her to look.
She freed the arm from the sling and laid it on the coverlet. Prodded. Poked. Felt his shoulder. Two lines rose between her brows, and she said to me, “Fetch the general.”
Inyx hopped in, listened, looked, felt in turn. Said, “Ah.” Then sat on the bed and spoke very softly to the king.
“Remember that lad Kirth? In Hazghend? Took a catapult graze just under the shoulder point?”
Beryx looked up at him. His face was stiff, and rather white about the mouth.
Holding his eyes, steady as a phalanx charge, Inyx said, “Ah.”
Beryx's eyes turned to the arm. The room was very quiet.
“It barely broke the skin.” His voice was careful. “But he couldn't use the arm. We... sent him home.”
Under his breath, Inyx said again, “Ah.”
Beryx was still looking down. From the left his face was unmarred, springing nose and clean mouth, winged brow and long-lashed green eye, the strength and decision that go beyond handsomeness. But the steady grief in it tore my heart.
“Well, well,” he said at last. Then he smiled at Inyx, a smile of cold steel courage, and said, “Here's one Berheage will be leading from behind.”
Going out, Inyx spat in the stair-well and said to Thassal, “Four grant I never have to tell another thing like that.”
She replied as she once had to me. “He's a fighter. He'll fight.”
* * * * *
Only he did not. Like that inner vein cut by a splinter, it slowly bled his spirit away before our eyes. I do not know which was worse to watch: the decay, or his effort to conceal it. “Four send the dragon,” prayed Inyx blasphemously. “Or a mutiny, or an invasion. Anything to wake him up.”
I did not try myself: having gratefully abandoned all pretences of Regency, I had retired to my harp. I had a song to make, a battle-song, the most delicate jugglery a bard ever attempted, for I was determined to tell the truth, flatter the dragon, and yet leave honor with the losers at the end. It was in my mind that one day Hawge might recall that song. I was wrestling a tricky modulation in my parchment-lair when an explosion carried clear from the tower.
I flew upstairs. A dusty, spurry messenger was bobbing in the doorway, trying to fit in a wail. As a leonine roar fired him past me I shot inside to find Beryx half out of bed, strewn with parchments and spitting fire like Hawge itself.
“My uncle!” he bellowed, hurling missives broadcast. “My beloved uncle! Doesn't think I'm fit to deal with this! Doesn't think at all! The ninny! The nincompoop! Theâ Inyx! Inyx! Rot it, where are you? Where's Stavan? Call Gerrarâget a horse-litterâtake this thing off me! By the Sky-lords' faces, I'll
disembowel
him when I get back south!”
Thassal fairly bounced in with Inyx bursting after her, purple in the face. Beryx flung his sling at them left-handed, kicked back the quilts, shot to his feet, and promptly collapsed. Inyx shed crutches to arrive in time and pinned him down with a hand in the chest.
Beryx roared, “Get your paws off me!”
Inyx panted, “Can't.”
The king thundered, “What!”
And Inyx gasped, “Can't. Over... balanced m'self.”
There was a frightful hush. Then Beryx unwound, and began, albeit painfully, to laugh.
As Inyx levered himself upright, Thassal and I retrieved parchments. I recognized the Quarred ram-horns on one huge red seal.
The king, eyes very bright and dangerous, said, “Do you know what they say? Quarred: âWhere the doughty warriors of Everran failed, our shepherds can hardly hope to succeed.' With a five thousand strong standing army and âshepherds' who raid my Reshx every year! Holym: Most unusually concise. âBranding cattle. Can't come.' Hazghend: âLove and best wishes, Ragnor, I have pirates off Osgarien and Estar's hired my ships.' Estar: Oh, this is the pearl. âWe have a current fluidity problem. Our assembly has voted to censure the dragon at the next Confederate Council, and will apply trade sanctions on your behalf.' Trade sanctions! Shepherds! Branding! I fought for Hazghend, my grandfather saved Estar. Loyalty! Not to mention foresight! Let a dragon ruin your neighbor so you'll have to fight it yourself!”