Every Day a Friday: How to Be Happier 7 Days a Week (32 page)

Being successful doesn’t necessarily make you great. What makes you great is when you reach back and help somebody else become great. Greatness is saying, “God has blessed me not to just sit on my throne and let everybody see my accomplishments. No, I know God has blessed me to become a blessing. God has helped me win so I can help someone else win.”

Greatness comes to those who say, “God helped me overcome this addiction, now I’ll find somebody who’s addicted and help them overcome.” “God has blessed me with a happy, healthy family. I’ll find a family that’s struggling and help them get back on track.” Or, “God has helped me pass this course in high school. Now I’ll go to my friend and help him study so he can pass, too.”

Even better than reaching back is reaching out to those who are side by side with you and giving them a hand up. In 1936 the Olympic Games were held in Berlin, Germany. Hitler was in control, and he didn’t want any blacks to compete, much less win. One Nazi leader called blacks “non-humans.” There was a young black American athlete by the name of Jesse Owens in the competition. Despite Hitler’s wishes, Jesse already had won three gold medals, and he was about to compete for his fourth.

This event was the broad jump, now known as the running long jump. Jesse felt hostility from the haters in the crowd, and he began to lose focus. On his first attempt he faulted. The judges claimed he crossed the line before he jumped. He was faulted again on his second attempt.

One more fault and he would be disqualified. This was very much out of character for Jesse, but he’d let the crowd’s boos and name-calling get
to him. They were still jeering at him and shouting against him. He was very rattled.

Jesse’s main competitor was a tall German athlete named Luz Long. They did not know each other. Jesse may have assumed that Luz Long, who was a sports hero in his country, was his enemy, too.

But in front of tens of thousands of people, Luz Long did what seemed unthinkable in that setting. He walked up, put his arm around Jesse Owens, and offered some advice.

He said, “Jesse, the qualifying distance is only twenty-three feet. You’ve jumped twenty-six feet many times before. Just move your starting mark back three inches, and that way you’ll make sure to jump before the line so they can’t disqualify you.”

Jesse took his advice, and on the next jump he qualified. The black American went on to break the world record and win his fourth gold medal. He beat out Luz Long on his final jump, but Long was the first to congratulate him.

Jesse Owens later said of his German dream releaser, “It took a lot of courage for him to befriend me in front of Hitler. You can melt all the medals and cups I have, and they wouldn’t be a plating on the 24-carat friendship I felt for Luz Long at that moment.”

I’ve heard the saying “No one stands taller on their climb for success than when he bends down to help somebody else.” If you will live unselfishly and be willing to give advice as Luz Long did, you will always have God’s blessings. When you are a dream releaser, God will make sure your dreams come to pass.

I’ve found the greatest legacy is not what we leave
for
people, but what we leave
in
people. Luz Long, who died during World War II, left Jesse Owens with a memory of courage and friendship that he never forgot—and neither did the rest of the world.

Here’s a key: Learn to believe in people before they succeed. Anybody can be a friend after someone is successful, after they win, after they are
promoted, after they break the addiction. But when they need us the most is
before
they are successful.

Many people need only a little help, a bit of advice, a word of encouragement. Do for them what you would want somebody to do for you. You may have experiences that could save others heartache and pain. Don’t keep your knowledge to yourself. Pick up the phone. Call them. Help someone grow into greatness.

If you want God’s continued blessing on your life, you can’t be selfish. You must go out of your way to help others. You must make some sacrifices to teach, to train, to share what you know to help others find their happiness and joy.

I have a friend who is black and grew up in poverty in a housing project. His mother raised him on her own. His future looked bleak, even though he was very bright. But he worked hard, and with God’s favor he earned a scholarship to an Ivy League college.

Most of his fellow students were from white, well-to-do families. His roommate was a sharp young white man from an upper-income family who had traveled the world. My friend had rarely left his neighborhood. Their lives were very different, yet they became best friends. He told his roommate that his dream was to become a television news journalist. He’d dreamed of that job since childhood.

His roommate supported him but said, “You’ll never become a journalist with your vocabulary like it is. It’s too limited. We’ve got to do something about it.” The roommate saw his potential and invested in it. They worked on his vocabulary together, studying the dictionary and practicing pronunciation.

This went on day after day, week after week. For four years the roommate taught my friend a new word every day. The roommate was a dream releaser. He’d been blessed with a good upbringing and far more resources. Now he passed on the blessings, investing in the success of another person from a far less privileged background.

Today that young man from the projects, Byron Pitts, is an award-winning journalist seen by millions of people every week on
60 Minutes
, the number one news program in America. He told me, “I would never be
where I am if it were not for my roommate. I would have never made it this far if he had not taken the time to invest in me.”

True success comes when you unselfishly bring somebody up with you, just as Luz Long and my friend’s college roommate did.

Shay was ten years old and both physically and mentally challenged, but he loved baseball. One day he and his father walked by a baseball field where a bunch of young boys Shay’s age were playing a game.

“Do you think they would let me play on one of their teams?” Shay asked his father.

Shay’s dad knew that he couldn’t play at the same level as the other boys, but he didn’t want to disappoint his son. The father asked one of the boys in the dugout if Shay could play. The little boy looked around at his friends, trying to get some advice. Finally he said, “Well, sir. There are only two innings left, and we’re down by three runs. Sure, he can come play. We’ll put him in the outfield.”

Shay was so excited. He took the field with joy, just radiating happiness. In the last inning their team was down by one run. There were two outs, with a runner on third, and it was Shay’s turn to bat.

His teammates considered using a pinch hitter in hopes of winning the game, but they decided it wouldn’t be right to take Shay out. They sent him to the plate with little hope that he could hit the ball. They thought they’d already lost the game. The other team had a very good pitcher.

The star pitcher wound up and threw the first pitch so fast, Shay didn’t see it coming. He swung late and missed it by a mile. At that point the pitcher realized that Shay had some physical challenges. The next pitch he threw at about half the speed of the first. But once again Shay swung and missed.

This time the pitcher stepped off the mound and walked closer to home plate. He threw the ball as soft as he could, and believe it or not, Shay hit it. The ball dribbled about five feet and stopped in front of the pitcher’s mound. The pitcher ran and picked it up.

Just out of instinct he was about to fire it to first base and win the game,
but out of the corner of his eye he saw Shay struggling to run the best he could. The pitcher’s heart took over for his instincts. He threw the ball over the first baseman’s head into the outfield.

Shay’s dad yelled, “Run, Shay! Run!”

The runner on third scored while Shay rounded first and headed toward second. By this time all the other boys knew what was going on. The outfielder threw the ball over the shortstop’s head. The player backing up the shortstop let it go through his legs.

Shay rounded third base and the whole crowd was cheering his name. He scored the winning run while his father watched in tears. Shay was nearly bursting with joy when he crossed the plate and was hugged by his teammates.

Shay’s team won the game, but all of those boys won God’s favor that day. Sometimes you have to give up winning one thing to win something even bigger. In this case, those boys on the opposing team won a friend for life. They gave something to Shay that he will never forget.

Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to let someone else step ahead. Sometimes you have to put your own dreams on hold temporarily so you can help release a dream in somebody else.

What you make happen for others, God will make happen for you. When you live unselfishly and you help somebody else get ahead, God will make sure someone is there to help you get ahead.

My challenge to you is to make every day a Shay day. Find somebody to invest in, a person you can help come up higher. Don’t go to bed without knowing you did something for someone to help them win. I’m asking us all to become dream releasers. Believe in people before they succeed. Call out those seeds of greatness.

When you do for others what they cannot do for themselves, you will always have God’s favor. You will accomplish your dreams, and then God will take you higher and higher.

H
elen, a junior high math teacher in Minnesota, spent most of the school week teaching a difficult “new math” lesson. She could tell her students were frustrated and restless by week’s end. They were becoming rowdy so she told them to put their books away. She then instructed the class to take out clean sheets of paper. She gave each of them this assignment: Write down every one of your classmates’ names on the left, and then, on the right, put down one thing you like about that student.

The tense and rowdy mood subsided and the room quieted when the students went to work. Their moods lifted as they dug into the assignment. There was frequent laughter and giggling. They looked around the room, sharing quips about one another. Helen’s class was a much happier group when the bell signaled the end of the school day.

She took their lists home over the weekend and spent both days off recording what was said about each student on separate sheets of paper so she could pass on all the nice things said about each person without giving away who said what.

The next Monday she handed out the lists she’d made for each student. The room buzzed with excitement and laughter.

“Wow. Thanks! This is the coolest!”

“I didn’t think anyone even noticed me!”

“Someone thinks I’m beautiful?”

Helen had come up with the exercise just to settle down her class, but it ended up giving them a big boost. They grew closer as classmates and more confident as individuals. She could tell they all seemed more relaxed and joyful.

About ten years later, Helen learned that one of her favorite students in that class, a charming boy named Mark, had been killed while serving in Vietnam. She received an invitation to the funeral from Mark’s parents, who included a note saying they wanted to be sure she came to their farmhouse after the services to speak with them.

Helen arrived and the grieving parents took her aside. The father showed her Mark’s billfold and then from it he removed two worn pieces of lined paper that had been taped, folded, and refolded many times over the years. Helen recognized her handwriting on the paper and tears came to her eyes.

Mark’s parents said he’d always carried the list of nice things written by his classmates. “Thank you so much for doing that,” his mother said. “He treasured it, as you can see.”

Still teary-eyed, Helen walked into the kitchen where many of Mark’s former junior high classmates were assembled. They saw that Mark’s parents had his list from that class. One by one, they either produced their own copies from wallets and purses or they confessed to keeping theirs in an album, drawer, diary, or file at home.

Helen the teacher was a “people builder.” She instinctively found ways to build up her students. Being a people builder means you consistently find ways to invest in and bring out the best in others. You give without asking for anything in return. You offer advice, speak faith into them, build their confidence, and challenge them to go higher.

I’ve found that all most people need is a boost. All they need is a little push, a little encouragement, to become what God has created them to be. The fact is, none of us will reach our highest potential by ourselves. We need one another. You can be the one to tip the scales for someone else. You can be the one to stir up their seeds of greatness.