Every Girl Does It (21 page)

“Because
,
” I say
.
“You
'
r
e
just like everyone else. I can’t believe I fell for the witty banter and tan abs. I mean
,
I should have noticed just by th
e
way you dress you ha
ve
nothing going on in the heart department. But no, I wasn’t smart. I even told myself not to be drawn like
a moth to the flame, but what do I do? I just fall anyways. I fall into the Mr. December trap just like everyone else. I can’t believe I bought a calendar.” And then I stop talking
,
hoping that in my rant
ing
and raving he
ha
d
n’
t ca
ught
the last part
. Except
by the look on his face
,
I can tell that he very much
has
.

“The calendar
,
huh?”
He raises an eyebrow.
“Well, well, my how the tables have turned. You bought a calendar
, did you?” h
e says leaning toward my face.

“It was for charity
,
” I say
.

“For your own personal charity
,
”
h
e snaps back.

“What
'
s that supposed to mean?
” I yell
.

“It wasn’t for charity
,
Amanda
.
A
dmit it
.
”

“No
.
”

“Amanda?”
His
voice is now low
,
making me dizzy. I hate it when he
gets
this close to me
;
it makes it hard for me to think straight.

“I
won’t
admit anything to
you. I
’
m a grown woman,
free to do as I please. Call Ashlyn and leave me alone.”

“
Fine
,” h
e says tightly.
He pulls out his phone
.
“Put Ashlyn on
.
D
on’t ask questions
,
just do it.”

I hear a long pause
,
then Preston talks in the most patronizing voice I have ever heard
.
“
H
ey
,
baby! How are you
doing,
little thing? Did you miss your daddy this week? Did you? Oh that’s a good girl, y
eah
!”

I think I
’
m going to be
sick. I
’
m staring at him wide-
eyed like he
’
s just swallowed a child whole. Is he really talking to his ex-wife like that?
No
wonder she left him. Wow
,
no question
about it
. His
elevator
does
n’
t go all the way up
,
if he thinks that’s the way to a woman
'
s heart.

“Did you go out and play t
oday?” He asks in the same high-
pitched voice
.
“Oh fun
!
I
s Uncle Bobby being good to you?”

I look at him and pale.
He left her with Bobby?
What is wrong with him?
I snatch the phone from him and hear nothing but panting on the other end. “Gross!” I yell
and throw
his phone back at hi
s chest
.

“Thanks
,
B.J. I’ll have to get back to you
. My
w
ife is acting crazy right now.”

I shake my head in disgust.

“First off, I
t
hink you’re the crazy one
,
talking to your wife like that. I mean
,
she’s
not a dog
,
for crying out loud
.
And second
,
have you lost your mind? You can’t leave your wife with Bobby
.
And you can’t put her down in front of him
.
Do you know nothing?” I
’
m beyond my realm of control
,
so
the last words
come out more like a scream
. I mean
,
seriously
.
A
re all men this stupid?

“Wow
,
you sure sound like you know what you’re talking about
,
”
h
e says
,
folding his arms.

“I want to cut off your arms and beat you with them
,
” I say a little
too
enthusiasticall
y
.
He
throws a glare my way. “So what’s the plan for the rest of the day?” I ask feeling suddenly ravenous.

Preston
gets
up and
folds
his towel
.
“I was planning on grabbing some lunch
,
but I don’t know if I
’
m good enough company for you
,
what with my lack of br
ain cells and relationship know-
how.” He shoots me a
grin.

I roll my eyes in
annoyance
.
“Fine
.
W
here to?” I ask
,
gathering my things.

“Hard Rock Café
,
”
h
e s
tate
s without looking back.

“But
,
”
I look around feeling suddenly w
h
iny
.
“Isn’t that all the way back towards the airport?”

“I’ll buy you a peppermint mocha
,
”
h
e
coaxe
s
,
turning around to face me.

“Deal
.
”

“You’re too easy
,
”
h
e replies
.

“That’s my problem
,
” I say wistfully
,
watching as he puts on his t
-
shirt and leads the way.

I shower as
quickly
as possible
,
then put on a cute sundress before presenting myself to the world. Or in this case
,
Mrs. Butterworth
.
I
t
’
s depressing when you have nobody to show off to or to lust after
.
W
ell
,
not really lust. I guess in Preston’s case it
’
s extreme
,
like maybe even possibl
y
love, but that’s over with. I need to move on.

Mrs. Butterworth, still in her cat bikini,
offer
s a quiet meow before I exit my room
to
look for Preston. He has on torn jeans
and
a white t-shirt. It makes my
mouth water
,
but then again
,
I
’
m
hungry
.
Y
es
, that must be it. I'
m hungry. Ha
ha
.
I laugh nervously to
myself, and
he leads me out. I mean
,
how terrible
of a person must I be to
be looking at Preston
like
he
’
s still available? He used me to get his ex-wife back
. Although
,
he never did admit it
,
now that
I think about
it
. He hasn’t admitted to anything. I must remind myself to stop talking from time to
time;
maybe he has some light to shed on the situation.

“S
o,
I hope you don’t mind,” he
says
,
interrupting my thoughts
.
“
B
ut I need to pick someone up from the airport tonight.” He grabs my hand
, and
I try to pull away
,
but I’m
help
less against his strength. He opens the door to the rental and smile
s
as I scowl at him then enter.

“
You’re
in a fun mood tonight
,
aren’t you?”
h
e
comments as he pulls
out of the parking lot.

“I’m sorry
,
were you talking to me? It
’
s hard to tell
,
considering you didn’t use your special voice reserved for ex-wives and small woodland creatures
,
” I
retort.

“Have I ever told you how much fun you are? Because
,
I mean
,
hands down
…
b
est trip of my life
.
” Preston smiles and leans over to turn off the musi
c
blaring in the background. “Are you going to at least let me explain to you
,
or are you going to assume you know everything?
"

“I do know everything
,
” I say
,
nose in the air.

“Good to know
,
” he says. We drive the rest of the way to the restaurant in complete silence.

****

I’m sure to anyone
,
on the outside
,
we look like the perfect couple
. When
on the inside
,
I
fe
el like I'm
d
y
ing. How I wish this could be a real date
.
I mean
,
we
’
re in the most romantic place in the world
,
and here we are fighting.

“Can we just
…”
I shake my head in frustration and throw my hands up
.
“
...
pretend like everything
'
s normal before I think of more ways to kill you?”

“Your wish is my command
.”
Preston winks
and
reach
es
across the table to grab my hand
. And
in that moment
,
I close my eyes
,
willing myself to
capture the memory of
what it fe
els
like to
have
his strong hands wrapped around mine.

“Good
a
fternoon
,
welcome to Hard Rock Café Maui
.” Our
waiter
is
a balding man in his fort
ie
s
who
looks
like he
’s
surf
ed
the wave a
little
too long
,
if you know what I mean. “And let me be the first to
congratulate
both of you on your engagement
.”

I choke on my water as I stare at the insane man in front of me.

“I’m sorry
,
” I say leaning in
.
“
W
hat did you
s
ay?”

“Well
,
your engagement to this fine young fellow
.”
H
e points at Preston.

Preston looks at me so innocently I almost believe
the act
,
except part of his mouth twists up into a
mischievous
smile
,
proving to me once and for all
that he’s the guilty
slime bag
I imagine him to be
.

“We aren’t…” I begin to talk but my mouth feels like it
'
s full of cotton. Is it hot in here? Because
suddenly my body is reacting as if it’s been set on fire.

Preston puts his hands over mine and shushes me with his finger
.
“It’s okay
,
darling
.
L
et’s let the poor waiter read us the specials.” He looks toward the waiter
,
and then
elbows him and whispers
,
“Foreign
.
S
he gets nervous in public places here in America.”

The waiter nods at me sympathetically before leaning down and
,
rather loudly might I add, reading the specials in my ear.

Horrified
,
I look
at
Preston
,
who can’t
hold back the
smile
creeping across
his
lips
now. I mean
,
come on
!
H
e said
foreign
,
not
deaf
.

I decide to go along with it and nod my head as if to say
,
“
W
ow
.
H
ow kind of you to read that in my
native
tongue
”
.
O
h
,
wait a second
.
H
e didn’t
,
because it was still English
,
just
loud English.
Hello!
Foreign people don’t h
ave different hearing decibels.

“So
,
” I sigh
,
looking at a totally joyful Preston
.
“What country am I from?” I ask
,
rolling my eyes
.
I
’
ll so regret this.

“Y
es!
” he says
,
doing a small fist pump in the air.
“Spain?”
h
e asks
.

“
N
o
,
my skins not dark enough
.
T
ry again.”

“Morocco
?” He raises his eyebrows
.

“Oooo
,
fun
.
Y
es
,
let’s do Morocco!” I clap my hands in excitement
,
then remember how angry I still am at Preston
.
W
ell
,
maybe one day we can be friends. A very long time from now. “I’m still mad at you
,
” I
remind him,
hoping he understands his little joke doesn’t make everything better.

“Of course you are, but do you know why you
'
r
e
mad at me? Because I’m betting the reason you
’
re mad isn’t a reason at all.” He puts his menu down as if to challenge me.

“Well, I don’t see how I could be getting any of my assumptions wrong. Plus
,
like I said before
,
words don’t lie.”

“And what about intentions?”
h
e asks
.

“Are you ready to order?” The waiter bounces in front of us out of nowhere
,
causing me to spill my water all over the place. “
It’s okay
,
”
h
e
shouts,
looking at me sadly. “I
’ll clean this up.
.”

People are now staring at us wonderin
g
why in the heck our waiter is
speak
ing so loud. I want to smile and wave and tell everyone
it’s
just a big joke
,
but instead I duck my head and
cover my face with my hands.

The waiter bounces in front of us
,
and yes
,
I mean he
actually
does bounce from side to side
,
as if there is some sort of music we don’t know about playing in the background. Poor guy. He then brings us coconut shrimp with dipping sauce. At one point
,
I contemplate stuffing everything
in my mouth just so Prest
o
n ca
n’t have any
. But
I realize he
’
d probably just order more
,
and then I
’
d look like a glutton
. And
he
’
d make up some lame excuse to the waiter about how in our country we eat our food all at once. Then the waiter would throw me another sympathetic glance
,
w
hile
speaking
rather loudly to
Preston
about
how it
won’t
do my f
igure
any favors
. Thanks
,
bud
.
G
ot it.

My mouth is full
,
but I don’t care about being attractive right now
.
“So
,
who are we picking up?” I look down at the
greasy
mess and sigh. I better start running a few extra miles when I get home. I take a sip of water.

“Ashlyn.” Preston says
,
but I
do
n’t
hear him
.
I
’
m busy drinking my water so fast
,
I’m sure my stomach will explode
,
thinking it
’
ll somehow kill the burning sensation in my chest.

“I
'
m sorry
.
I thought I heard you say Ashlyn
.”
I choke
.

“I did
.
”
H
e smi
rk
s
.

I shoot him a look which
can only be described as hazardous to his health
,
while he
beams
at me a
s if I just confessed my love.

"
Um
,
I’m sorry
,
but did you ever stop to think how awkward that might be for me?
Or
how hurtful?” I
’
m ready to get up and leave
, but
he pulls me back
in
to my seat.

“Do me a favor?” He
’
s now looking at me with those smoldering green eyes. I hate him for it.

“What
?
” I groan
.

“Don’t make any rash decisions until after the airport. I give you full permission to beat me to death if you
’
re unhappy. Wait
,
actually
,
I take that back. I give you permission to beat me if
,
in fact
,
your assumptions are correct.” He tilts his head to the side and
asks
,
“Deal?”

“Deal
,
” I say softly
,
taking another shrimp. I mean
,
I might as well eat my fill
,
if he
’
s going to sit there and t
ell me he
’
s flying his ex-
wife to Hawaii
.
A
nd why couldn’t he have let me go? I would have been much happier on a plane right now
,
even if I was alone.

Oh
,
and I’m sure the
flight attendant,
whatever country she
’
s from
,
would walk up to
me and be like
,
“Why you cry?” To
which I would reply
,
“
B
ecause the man I love doesn’t love me back.” And then she would say
,
“Oh
,
so sad
,
”
a
nd walk away
,
but not before telling everyone in first class how sad my situation is and not to bother me…
Wow
.
S
ome great things to look forward to on the way home.

We finish dinner and des
s
ert and a long walk
before going to the airport. And I would bore you with the details
,
except the fact that my blo
od
is
boiling so much d
uring
said
time I can’t even recall what we talked about
,
or if we even talked. I guess you could call it being lost in thought or lost in anger.
I think I like the second one better.

Anyway, we get to the airport
,
and guess what? The flight is delayed.

O
kay
,
I can’t lie
.
I ate way too many shrimp
,
and those little buggers are freakishly rich
and
making my stomach do this heave
-
ho type thing
with every breath
I take. I
’
m
sure
Preston
can hear it.
I mean
,
seriously
.
I
f he
isn’t
running for the trees already this would solidify it for me.