Every Heart (3 page)

After I’m dressed and done getting ready, I head into the living room. My mom is on the couch and the second she sees me, she gets up with her cane assisting her.

“Ma, just stay sitting, will ya?”

“She’s coming with us,” my dad says as he rests his hands on both of our shoulders.

“You should stay home and rest, Ma.”

“That’s nonsense, dear, I’ve been without you for far too long. I’m coming along, end of story,” my mom tells me with a firm, loving voice.

To say that these last two days have been the scariest I’ve experienced since losing Kinsey would be an understatement. It’s been total and brutal hell. Leaning my head on the edge of Arion’s hospital bed, I watch her sleep peacefully. Thankfully, we’ll be able to go home soon, but with that comes a great fear. A fear that she could leave me for Nate. I mean, why wouldn’t she? Nate is her true love.

I knew the instant that I heard his name, my life would never be the same. I didn’t need to ask why he was alive and even now don’t want to know how it’s possible. He’s alive and that’s all there is to it.

Arion hasn’t said much about the situation and I don’t want to pry, because honestly right now it scares the shit out of me. I can’t lose her. I know if she were to leave me again, I…I couldn’t make it.

One of the nurses comes in with her chart in hand and says, “Dr. Wellington should be in shortly to evaluate her.”

“Are we still going home today?” I ask.

“Hopefully.” She turns away without another word.

When we got to the hospital, Arion was awake and fine. Then the doctor and nurses started to ask her what happened and she had a panic attack. They made me leave ’til they calmed her down. It was almost impossible – they ultimately had to give her a light sedative – and then a psychologist evaluated her mental state. He determined that she’s on the verge of a breakdown and we have to tread very lightly with her treatment.

They started her on some anxiety medication and I know that has helped. It’s the same shit I used to take to get spun out of my mind on, but taken responsibly
can
provide real help for anxiety.

Letting go of her hand, I lean back in my chair, running my hands over my face.
Please let us be able to go home today. She’s not happy here.

As I remove my hands, she’s staring at me. “Hey, baby. You okay?” I ask.

“Yeah. This bed just sucks.”

“I bet it’s better than this chair.”

She gives me a fake smile and looks away from me, like she has for the last two days. Her walls are back up and slowly she is pushing me away. Watching her stare into the corner of the room kills me. Getting up and out of the chair, I walk around the bed and get in her line of sight. She tries to move and turn away from me, but I don’t let her. Moving in, I grab her face, turning it towards me and force her eyes to look into mine.

She blinks still trying to turn away from me. My heart aches by how she is acting. I just want to climb atop her and tell her how much I love her. To show her how much she means to me. Maybe that would make a difference and bring my girl back.

“Baby, please. Please don’t push me away.”

She releases a long exhale and looks me in the eyes. I can’t help but rub my thumb over her sweet lips. “I’m not trying to, Bain, trust me.”

“But you are. Arion, I love you more than anything in the world and I can’t bear to see you like this. I’m here for you.”

“I know you are and I appreciate that, I just don’t really want to talk about things.”

“I can respect that, what you’re going through is unreal. But I don’t want to lose you. Please don’t let things change with us, regardless of what’s happened. We’ll figure all this shit out
together
.”

Arion blinks a few times causing tears to drop out of the sides of her eyes.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

“We’ll talk when you are ready, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispers.

The doctor comes in, interrupting our conversation. Quickly, I stand up, letting go of Arion’s hand to shake his.

“How are you today?” I ask.

“Fine, fine. I think the better question is how is Arion?” He looks at her and she wipes the tears away. I grab her hand giving it a light squeeze to reassure her, to push through this.

“I’m okay.”

“You sure?”

She nods her head and smiles at him. “Good, well, your vitals look great, stable, and the nurse tells me you haven’t had any more panic attacks.”

“No, I haven’t, the medication has helped.”

“Good, and I trust that you are going to keep meeting with Dr. Crones?”

She looks at me and I answer for her, I know that’s one of the things she doesn’t want to do, but at this point I would tell any lie just to get her out of here.

“Yes, she will. I have his number and will call his office as soon as we are home.”

“Glad to hear. Now Arion, you remember what the triggers of a panic attack are, right?”

She nods her head and he lightly pats her shoulder. “I’ll sign the release papers, there’s no reason to keep you here any longer. You two take care.”

“Thank you, doctor,” I tell him as he exits the room. “God, I can’t wait to get you home.”

“Me too,” she agrees.

The nurse comes in and gives us her release instructions. Then I help Arion get dressed. She seems to be a little happier now that we are going home. Typical hospital protocol is that she be wheeled out in a wheelchair. Her facial expression is priceless when the nurse tells her this and it cracks me up. I can’t help but laugh at her, causing her to glare at me.

Once she is situated, we head down and then outside. I hail us a cab and the nurse helps her inside and then I follow. Once I have the door closed, I feel like I can breathe. Everything is going to be all right, it has to.

I tell the cab driver where we are headed and wrap Arion as tightly as I can in my arms, resting my chin on top of her messy blonde hair. On the drive we sit in mostly silence, both of us watching the sights of New York City pass us by, my mind racing, wondering what the future has in store for us.

It’s not long ’til we’re home. I pay the driver and hop out of the cab, breathing in the fresh air. Looking up at our building, I pray being here doesn’t give her a setback. I worry that it could. It’s the last thing I want. Over the last few days, I’ve witnessed it firsthand and it’s horrific. Watching the person you love struggling to breathe is indescribable. The way she panicked and didn’t make sense of her words was absolutely heart-wrenching.

As I open her door, she looks unsure. I decide to lift her out myself. It will be easier to be in control and quicker if I have her in my arms where she’s safe. “Ready, baby?”

“Uh-huh,” she responds.

I kiss those sweet lips, the ones that take my breath away as I cradle her body against my chest. For the first time in a few days, she looks me in the eyes without me having to beg or plead. Then she closes them, and I take her inside.

Herbert opens the door for us, welcoming us inside. I thank him and breeze right along to the elevators. I’m on a mission with Arion in my arms. I’m thankful that the lobby is empty. We catch the first elevator right up and my heart thuds against my chest as each floor ticks by. I’m scared that walking down the hallway will trigger another panic attack for Arion, or worse, what if Nate’s in the building?

I know that’s nonsense…he won’t show back up here. He loves her, and he doesn’t want to cause her any harm. Saying the word “love” and thinking of another man makes me feel ill. But if he does show up, I’ve notified security to keep an eye out for him. The elevator finally stops on our floor. I look down at Arion as she grips my chest and whisper, “I love you, baby.”

Her lips pucker and she presses them against the fabric of my shirt. It feels so good, to see her kiss me like this. I walk as fast as possible. Glancing down, Arion is clinging to my body with her eyes screwed shut avoiding the hallway with everything she has. Quickly, I fish my keys out of my pocket and open the door the best I can with Arion in my arms. I just need to get us inside. I rush us in like a vortex, kicking the door closed behind me. Looking around, it pains me how normal our life was two days ago. Now nothing feels normal.

I walk us into our bedroom and notice Arion’s office is still set up on our bed. Her laptop, Blackberry, calendar, iPad, everything is as it was the last time she was home.

Setting her on my side of the bed, it hurts to let her go even though it’s only for a few seconds. I gather all of her belongings and place them neatly on her nightstand. Then I lift the covers and slide us both underneath.

With her warmth around me and mine around her, this solitude is perfect. Taking the covers, I pull them over our heads where we can just be…

I wake to whispers, so close, yet so far away. Pulling the covers off of my head, it’s dark. The sun has set and Arion isn’t next to me. Fuck, where is she?

Looking around, it’s so dark I can barely see in front of me. I blink a few times, then turn my lamp on and spot her. She’s on the bottom edge of the bed, sleeping and…whispering. Scooting over, I take a closer look to try to and make out what she’s saying. She looks in pain, so instinctively I go to wake her. Then she says, “Bain.” That one simple word leaving her lips freezes me. It stops me dead in my tracks and I forget about everything else.

I listen some more, hoping to get a glimpse into her tortured mind, but all of her words are mumbled. Nothing is clear enough for me to make out. Then she rolls over towards me, her arm goes flying and hits me in the face. I do my best to contain my laughter.
Jesus, she’s so cute.

She moves some more, clearly restless, and her clothes twist exposing one of her tits. I can’t help but groan wanting to suck it.

“Harder,” she mumbles tightening her thighs together.

Fuck, she’s dreaming about fucking me.

Leaning down, I press my lips against the skin of her nipple, so soft and warm, ’til my mouth forms around it causing it to harden and become erect. I leave a trail of kisses all around, claiming what is mine. Yes, her nipple is mine, she is mine, and I’ll be damned if I give up.

With my mouth latched on, her body bows. Her doing so makes me suck hard and I move on top of her. With my free hand, I slide it underneath her and she arches for me so I can bring our bodies close together.

She moans knotting her fingers into my hair, while I keep sucking and kissing. My cock is stiff and wants her so bad. With just our clothes separating us, I press myself against her pussy. Letting her know how much I want her.

She doesn’t open her eyes, but I know she’s awake. “Fuck me,” she whispers. There’s my girl, as eager as ever. I smile, so happy to get a piece of who she was a few days ago, even if it’s only for a little bit. We’ve been through some shit these last few days, but I know I can make all that go away. Binding our bodies together as one does something to our minds and our souls. My lips move urgently on their own, drenching her skin,
my skin
with kiss, after kiss, after kiss, twisting and pulling her clothes every which way so I can touch every bit of her skin.

She moves her hands through my hair gripping hard and then she roams my body. Covering every part of me, ’til she reaches my pants and goes inside. The instant her soft hands form around my hard cock, I want more and begin moving my hips. Pushing and pulling, pumping myself in her grip.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, my mind begins to race to images of her leaving me for Nate. My chest tightens in pain, as my heart skips a beat. Dammit, I need to stop thinking like that. She won’t leave me – she can’t. “I love you, baby,” I tell her.

“I love you.” Hearing her say the words is just what I needed. Well, that and her pussy. Moving my hands, I pull her shorts and underwear off. She sits up and lifts her tank top over her head, leaving her perky tits staring at me.

I rip my sweats and t-shirt off in the blink of an eye, lying back down on top of her, pressing both of us hard into the mattress. My cock yearns to be inside of her and she wants it. She’s so wet that the small pressure of my dick against her sex causes me to slide right in.