Every Heart (16 page)

Looking into my eyes, he stares before saying anything.

“I love you so much,” I tell him.

“I love you, Arion. I don’t think I’ve told you with everything that’s happened and gone on, but thank you. Thank you for making me the happiest man alive and for choosing me. I honestly could not live without you. You are my angel and a blessing.”

Tears gloss over my eyes as we clink our glasses. He’s never really said anything like that to me before. Taking a small sip, I look at him and know I made the right decision, without a doubt. I am 100% confident that Bain is the only one for me.

Fuck, her lips are so good, so soft. I’ve waited forever for her to kiss me like this. Kissing her back, I look down at her naked, precious body, not waiting another second before sinking my cock inside.

As my flesh touches her, she gasps and I wonder how in God’s name I lasted this long without her. My breathing is dense; I don’t want to fuck this up. But her eyes tell me that everything is okay, so I proceed. Loving how her tight, pink cunt feels against my skin, like a vice around me. Gently, I begin moving, savoring our time together…

Looking down, I blink a few times, Arion is not with me. My hand is clenched around my dick, and it’s hard and throbbing. Letting my head fall back, the sickness that is my life takes over. What am I going to do without her? I release some of the tension in my hand, but notice right away how good it feels to keep a tight grip, so I hold myself harder. Closing my eyes, I begin to move my hand and for the first time in a long time, I let myself enjoy the pleasure.

My mind races and I go back to my dream, Arion’s body so perfectly laid beneath mine. I can still picture every little detail about her. From the way her lips part when she pants during sex to how her body bows giving into the sensation.

Picturing her like that is the biggest turn on, and I jerk myself hard, already close to climax. My balls bounce with each movement and I pray to God neither of my parents catch me. But the feeling is too great, a wave of pleasure takes over. The need to come so immense, that my body burns and I let go, envisioning only those sweet lips around my cock as I release. However, my reality is quickly put into check. There are no lips. She is not here and…she never will be.

Though the feeling was amazing, and something I’ve been deprived of for quite some time, it is quickly washed away. Now here I lie in the pathetic, pain-staking reality that is my existence. Sitting up, I take my shirt off and clean myself, then decide to get up and take a quick shower, because the moment I lie back down, everything is too painful.

The shower doesn’t help. I’m not sure what I was hoping it would do, but for some reason, today things just seem…harder. I’m angrier and feel more hopeless than ever. Looking down at my pathetic stub of a leg, I can’t wait for my prosthetic appointment. Maybe that will help me a little more. Maybe if I could walk on my own and help myself the way I used to, I would start to feel like the old me.

As I sit on the edge of my bed and dry myself, my cell phone vibrates. Looking at the screen, I notice it’s Nash. I answer it, knowing anything at this point will take my mind off of Arion and the depression I seem to be in today.

“What’s up, bro?” he says in his usual chipper tone.

“Not much, just getting going for the day. You?”

“I’m about to go look at this sick spot for a gym, wanna come?”

My automatic response is no and then I look around my room. Realizing I have absolutely nothing better to do today. “Where is it?”

“North Jersey, so it’s a bit of a drive, but I’m almost to your house, so we should be able to make good time if you’re ready.”

“What? You’re already on your way?”

“Yeah, is that a problem?”

“What if I say no?”

“You won’t. Trust me, I know you. You were probably waiting for something to do today.”

“You’re an ass.”

“I know. Now get your sexy ass ready and you better be waiting on the curb for me.”

“Don’t call me sexy, you fucking weirdo, and I won’t wait on the curb for anyone.”

“Fine, I’ll pull in the driveway. But be ready, I’ll be there in ten.”

Hanging up, I wonder what in God’s name I’m getting myself into. He’s the polar opposite of me. He’s wild and outgoing, and that’s…just not me. But it doesn’t matter. He’s really been my only friend through all of this. Yes, maybe it’s because everyone still thinks I’m dead…minor hindrance on the social life.

I get dressed and head downstairs. My mom is in the kitchen making coffee. She looks tired, more so today than she has lately. But catching her up and in the kitchen makes me feel good. I know her seeing me all up and at ’em is what puts that bright smile on her face. “Hey, honey,” my mom tells me, pulling a chair out for me at the table.

“Thanks, Ma. I actually can’t sit. Nash is picking me up this morning. He needs me to look at a place for the new gym he’s opening.”

“Oh, that’s great news. I’ve always liked Nash.”

I can’t help but laugh under my breath. He has totally pulled the wool over my mom’s eyes. Then out front I hear his horn and kiss my mom on the cheek.

“Take care of yourself today, okay, Ma?”

She nods her head and I walk off. Looking back at her as I close the door, she has tears in her eyes. I know it kills her to see me like this, but this is the person that I am now. I close the door grateful that she didn’t follow me all the way out. Recently I asked her to give me some space and let me do some things on my own. Clearly, it is hard for her, but she’s doing well respecting me.

Nash has the music blaring in his huge truck. I just smirk as I walk to it and the first thought that crosses my mind is how in the world am I going to get into something so tall? It’s massive. Then the door flies open and I know obstacle number one is covered. Now, I don’t have to reach up and balance to open the door on one leg. He turns the music down and says to me, “You look so small down there. We really gotta get you on a workout regimen.”

“Hello to you too,” I tell him tossing my crutches in the back. Then with all of my strength, I brace my weight and hop up into his beast of a vehicle.

“You know I’m just fucking with you, right?” he says, backing out of my driveway.

“Does it matter? It’s the truth. I need to do something about my weight.”

“You know, man, I’m more than happy to help.”

“We’ll see,” I respond. “I’m getting my prosthetic soon and I think that will help with my motivation.”

“Cool.”

“So where’s this place?”

“Up north, in an industrial part of town, but not far from a suburb and the train into the city, so I really think there is potential with all of the commuters that work there.”

“So what’s your overall goal?”

“In no more than three months, I want the doors open to my own gym.”

“Wow, that’s really fast.”

“I know, but if I don’t put those deadlines on myself, it will never get done.”

“Why a gym? I don’t remember you being so into working out.”

“I wasn’t ’til I broke up with Erica. It was the only thing that got me off of the couch and made me feel remotely good about myself.”

“I’m sorry, man.”

“It’s okay. That’s why I think you would benefit from it.”

The rest of the drive we talk and reminisce. Hanging out with Nash like this reminds me why I became friends with him in the first place. He is genuine and just wants what is best for those closest to him.

It’s not long ’til Nash turns down a short alley and then parks, looking up at the building. “This is it,” he says.

I look up as well at the all-brick industrial building. Then we get out and Nash is greeted by who I guess is the realtor. “I’m Amesha,” she says, shaking his hand then mine. She must be in her twenties and is absolutely gorgeous. Right away I get embarrassed, standing here with one leg and skinny as fuck. That’s why I need to make a change, if I ever want Arion to look at me. I’m going to begin working out with Nash. I mean…I have to.

Heading through the back door, I follow Nash and Amesha listening to her explain all of the details about the building. It’s over five thousand square feet and one massive open space. Looking at Nash, there is a huge grin on his face. I can tell that this is exactly what he wants.

“So what do you think?” she asks Nash.

“I love it. What do you think, Nate?” he asks me.

“It’s awesome.”

“Good,” Amesha says. “There’s just one problem. The owner has decided he only wants to sell. I know when we discussed this place, we talked about you renting it.”

“Ahh, shit. Really?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. He just called me on the drive, and I pleaded with him, but he’s going through a divorce and has to. What’s your opinion on buying?”

“I don’t know if I can. With all of the money I have saved and the loan I’m prequalified for, that’s just enough for the equipment. I’m not sure I could get another loan. How much is he asking anyways?”

“Five hundred thousand.”

“Damn, okay. Well, as much as I love this place, and believe me I really do, it’s just not gonna work.”

“Again, I’m sorry, Nash. I’ll keep looking and we’ll find you the right spot.”

He nods his head and we shake Amesha’s hand. I can see the despair all over his face, laced into his eyes.

We get back into his truck and he turns the music off the second it starts. “I’m sorry, man,” I tell him, wishing I could make things better.

“Thanks, Nate, sorry I wasted your time today.”

“You didn’t waste my time. You didn’t at all. Thanks for having me along.”

“This just blows, man. That place is perfect.”

“I know.”

Sitting against the leather of the seat, I look over at Nash as we begin our trek home and realize maybe I
can
help him. The military has given me a ton of money that frankly I have no purpose for. I guess to them it was the price on the ten months I was missing and all that I endured. But to me, there is no amount of money that can compensate for what I went through. Looking at Nash and how down he is, I decide the best thing I can do is help him.

“I’ll buy the gym for you.”

He turns his head faster than I’ve ever seen him move before, then puts his eyes back on the road when I nod my head yes, to tell him that I’m serious.

“No way, man, I can’t have you spend your money like that.”

“It’s not my money, it’s the government’s. And to be honest with you, I could use something to focus on, maybe we can work out some sort of partnership.”

“I would love that. You would really do this with me?”

“I would, but on one condition.”

“Fuck, man, you name it, anything.”

“I want you to get me back up to my old weight and to build the muscle I’ve lost.”

“Dude, I’m doing that anyways. What else?”

“Nothing, I don’t want anything,” I tell him.

“Baby, it’s going to be all right. Just take some deep breaths, okay?”

Arion’s words are loud and clear, but comprehending what she is asking of me is a whole other thing. We are in the car driving to the courthouse and I know in order to get through today, it will take every last ounce of strength I have.

We’ve met with the DA, so both my parents and I are ready to speak at the sentencing. However, actually doing it is a whole different story. As Arion turns my BMW off of the freeway, she grabs my hand. She is so confident and strong, just what I need today.

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat your bagel?” she asks me, eyeballing the brown paper bag we picked up with our favorite breakfast sandwiches in it.

I shake my head, squeezing her hand a little tighter. My stomach is a ball of fire. I wouldn’t wish today on my worst enemy – ever. She holds me tightly back and we get closer and closer to our arrival.

“Have you talked to your parents?”

I glance at my phone and notice that neither of them have called or texted me. “No, I’m sure they are running late, but they’ll be there.”

Within a few minutes we are parked. Arion looks over at me, cupping my cheek and says, “I love you, Bain. You can do this. Stay strong for Kinsey, okay?”

Leaning over I kiss her lips and then my phone chimes. It’s a text from my dad.
We are running a few minutes late. Your mom is struggling this morning and it was hell to get her out of the house. But we’ll be there, save us a seat. I love you, son.